Strangers make fun of me when I'm out

loveanddestroyx

I'm sorry, people suck.

I've gotten comments ranging from "daaaamn!" to "damn girl you're a big b****." Or "hey my friend totally wants to date you he loves fat girls lololol" honestly it makes me not want to go out in public ever again.

I can't tell you to ignore them because I sure can't. All we can do is keep losing weight and make ourselves happy

elyelyse

I've experienced this many times in my life, and my favorite responses go something like this...

"really? that's all you got? that I'm fat? real witty, how long did it take you to come up with that one?"

"wow, I'm sorry. you must feel really badly about yourself if you need to mock me in order to feel good"

"publicly making fun of someone says a lot more about you than it does about me"



yeah, it hurts. DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM LIVING.

feelin_gr_8

I've had the kids rolling down their windows and "mooing" or "oinking" at my mom and I-boys. When I lived in Eastern Europe for a year and a half, it was surprisingly mostly women that would shove it in my face. I feel sorry for people that feel they have to treat others like that! And I'm grateful I've experienced obesity so that I can better sympathize. As hard as it is, just try to keep that perspective and pity them. If it helps, you can always throw out a snarky childish comeback like "I can fix fat, too bad you can't fix ugly!"....but that's only as a last resort :P

WilmaDennis91

People are *kitten*. You are so pretty!

healthymissfit

I'm 5'3" and 190lbs and I've been on the bigger side of things for a while now. Whenever I've had jobs in food, I've overheard customers saying "that's what happens when you take the free meal every break" and "she too big to move fast enough for fast food" and crappy, hurtful remarks like that all the time. take it in stride and move on. nothin' ya can do to open a small minded persons heart up. sorry this has been happening to you. just remember that you're beautiful on the inside and the outside, and if they can't see that, they're the ones missing out.

iluvpeppers

I was tortured for my weight in high school, and it's happened several times over the years since then. It makes you paranoid about going out in public, especially walking anywhere, and especially alone. Honestly, though, you don't even have to be that big for it to happen. And you definitely don't need to be unattractive for it to happen. It's no reflection on you whatsoever. These people are just *kitten*, usually showing off for their friends. It's their defect, not yours. Deep down, you know that.

I know EXACTLY where youre coming from with the going out alone thing. This sort of thing never happens when I'm out walking with my husband. He is in disbelief that people are such a-holes since he never sees it/hears it. Lucky, I guess; I'd be even more embarrassed if it happened in front of him. I usually don't tell him when it does happen since it's all just humiliating. I always feel more comfortable not going alone. As soon as I'm out alone I feel so self conscious and its almost like I'm just waiting for something, ya know?

iluvpeppers

I'm 5'3" and 190lbs and I've been on the bigger side of things for a while now. Whenever I've had jobs in food, I've overheard customers saying "that's what happens when you take the free meal every break" and "she too big to move fast enough for fast food" and crappy, hurtful remarks like that all the time. take it in stride and move on. nothin' ya can do to open a small minded persons heart up. sorry this has been happening to you. just remember that you're beautiful on the inside and the outside, and if they can't see that, they're the ones missing out.

THIS HAPPENED TO ME AT WALMART. Before going back to school (took time off to have baby) I was working at walmart and people would say rude stuff like, ''good thing they carry a uniform in that size'' and I was in an 18. Or, they'd ask how I could be so heavy while stocking shelves. One guy joked about the employee discount on food and insinuated that I applied the discount at the mcdonalds. How rude.

iluvpeppers

I've had the kids rolling down their windows and "mooing" or "oinking" at my mom and I-boys. When I lived in Eastern Europe for a year and a half, it was surprisingly mostly women that would shove it in my face. I feel sorry for people that feel they have to treat others like that! And I'm grateful I've experienced obesity so that I can better sympathize. As hard as it is, just try to keep that perspective and pity them. If it helps, you can always throw out a snarky childish comeback like "I can fix fat, too bad you can't fix ugly!"....but that's only as a last resort :P

Oh I've thought about it! lol. It's always *after* the incident that i'm like, ''I should have said (insert insult here." It's frustrating. The only thing I ever did that worked well was something I did a few years ago when I was 21 (I was maybe 230); some douche bag made a rude comment about anyone being willing to marry me when he saw me walk out of the bridal shop with my dress. I think hesaid something like, ''wow, i guess there's hope for everyone!'' and I politely asked him to hold on for just a moment, then I pulled my camera out (I'd had it while trying on dresses) and hit record and asked him if he could repeat what he'd said for the camera. He kinda like, semi-scowled and walked away.

I wish I had the nerve to do that now but now I just go into ''runaway mode''

iluvpeppers

I've experienced this many times in my life, and my favorite responses go something like this...

"really? that's all you got? that I'm fat? real witty, how long did it take you to come up with that one?"

"wow, I'm sorry. you must feel really badly about yourself if you need to mock me in order to feel good"

"publicly making fun of someone says a lot more about you than it does about me"



yeah, it hurts. DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM LIVING.

I like your come backs lol. Being called fat or, ''large'' hurts a lot but what sent me home in tears was when those two guys said I looked like a man, I'm not sure why, it was just especially mean

ssaraj43

I think of it like this. These men are kind of like men who despise homosexuals. They are very cruel to them and even have resorted to killing gay men. Well, it's these cruel homophobic men who are themselves homosexuals and harm to repress their own sexual desires.

Men like this are fatphobic, cruel, but find themselves very sexually attracted to larger women. They go out of their way to suppress their desires, and to fit in with the boys. It's an abusive cycle, and when they see a very attractive large woman (with ample breasts and a large behind) they cant suppress their desire, and due to that feeling of control loss they turn it into rage. What perfect way to ensure your fantasy remains around then knock an innocent woman down forcing her to drown her emotions in food, and get bigger.

The next time it happens. Smile to yourself and think "oh hell no youre never getting down my pants."

People who dont care. Dont comment.

I agree with this. Sorry this happened to you.

iluvpeppers

I'm sorry, people suck.

I've gotten comments ranging from "daaaamn!" to "damn girl you're a big b****." Or "hey my friend totally wants to date you he loves fat girls lololol" honestly it makes me not want to go out in public ever again.

I can't tell you to ignore them because I sure can't. All we can do is keep losing weight and make ourselves happy

Jesus, what planet do these people come from? It's as if they werent raised to observe societal norms at all. I understand the question, ''were you raised by wolves??'' now

iluvpeppers

This is why parents need to step up and teach our kids love and kindness. I challenge my kids every day to look for a way to be kind and then when I pick them up from school I ask what they did. We constantly tell our kids to be kind.

For every mean person, there is 10 nice ones. Feel sorry for them, for their hearts are ugly, I'd much rather be nice, and kind, then thin, and ugly on the inside, they can't be happy, if they have to bring others down to get attention.

Keep your head up, and be confident that YOU are a better person!

I notice a lot of parents who are with their little kids, let them act out, and make nasty faces to strangers. They see their kid acting out, and being rude, and either ignore it, or smile at what they are doing. These are the kind of parents who are raising *kitten*

I've never seen a parent just sit by while their kids do that, but I fully believe it must happen. I mean it has to, you can't blame everyone's douchey actions on their parents all of the time, but having a peaceful and loving outlook while growing up can go a long way in being more accepting. The huge difference between people (like between those that make animal noises at heavier people and those that would go out of their way to help someone struggling with something) is amazing.

psych101

yep, Ive been moo'd at, oinked at, been asked what I weighed, had people shout things from cars. That was a long time ago and reading through this thread has made me remember a lot of that stuff. When I lost a lot of weight (around 110lbs) it took me a long time to realise when people were being nice or genuine - I always automatically assumed that people were mocking me or being mean. Took a long time to get over that. Wow, this thread has bought up some long lost feelings!

People have no right to make you feel like *kitten* - don't let them stop you from going out and living your life.

tapirfrog

God, yes, I am reliving everything I went through the first thirty years of my life as I read through this thread. And I totally remember not wanting to go outside. I'm in a much better mental place now (though much heavier physically) and still when I am feeling the least bit shaky I don't want to go outside, don't want anyone to see me.

It's awful that anyone else feels like that. I'm really sorry.

One weird upside of it: I'm over fifty now. I had a really pretty friend who's ten years older than me mourn to me a few years ago that when she turned fifty, it was like she was invisible to men all of a sudden. Now, the problems in that statement are legion, and I hate it that fewer people appreciate how lovely she is both physically and mentally.

But for me it's been so incredibly freeing. I AM invisible. I can walk down the street and not be noticed. It's like my superpower is invisibility all of a sudden, and I wanted it so much when I was younger, and now I've got it. It's a lot easier to reconcile myself to looking older if it means that for the first time in my life I don't have to flinch from going outside.

Tmsmith007

All I know is that the minute you make a move towards a healthier, happy...thinner you.......EVERYBODY and their brother seems to have something to say about it. Personally, I think they are afraid you will become competition, yeah I am positive.

So there I am in the gym bathroom after my workout. Minding my own business, flat ironing my hair in front of a mirror that essentially has room for three people. So flat ironing hair, minding my own business, when lady 1 comes in, walks over to my things that are on the counter and pushes them over and basically tells me that the tile decorating line on the wall is my side and I am over the line. Whoa, I'm over the line, let alone, what about walking over to the space furthest from me and letting me move my stuff myself?
Not truly comfortable with assertiveness. I do not look at her, but tell her not to touch my stuff, nicely. She basically goes off on me with the B word top priority. Lady 2 comes in and they start talking about me on with the other with lady 1 still making verbally brutalizing a thing. Getting upset and not happier by the minute cause now their are two of them with lady 1 leading the other in continuing the abuse. Really! My things, her crazy invisible line nuttiness?
Soooo...I turned to face the two of them, and asked in a very loud voice, so how far is this going to go and took a step towards them. And asked if they where planning on hitting me too? Funny, with all my adrenaline pumping, I never expected it to just go quiet.
I still laugh...although I really wanted to cry, because I dislike confrontation.
Let me say something though....men are a different story. A woman has little hope of beating off two guys or doing any collateral damage unless trained properly. I am sorry that they were so ugly to you. However, should you ever be place where you must defend yourself against a bully or worse, don't hesitate to bring everything you have to the fight. Ears, eyes, fingers, top of the feet, nose...groin all deliver that check your self at the door feeling you may need to get the upper hand. Lol
They probably don't want you to know they would be interested if you we're say ....blonde, brown eyed, skinny, because face it some people are permanently shallow. Sorry didn't mean to go long....people are just crummy, sometimes.

ocragal

Some of my favorite words from the book "The Four Agreements"

Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own experience and story. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.

Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal story.