Why is this even remotely controversial?
Replies
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So, by the same logic, is this picture controversial?
The reason why this is getting so much backlash is not the content of the picture or caption itself. It's the discomfort of looking inward and actively thinking about those excuses. It's easier to point fingers at the "bully" than actually examine their lifestyle. It's definitely a projection issue.
I find it equally as stupid.
If diet is the main thing to leaning out how does having one leg provide a barrier to that exactly? Or even working out with the suitable equipment? Am I supposed to cut him some slack simply because he has one leg.
Great transformation. Terrible message.
He did not get fit like that from diet alone. You have some misinformation there. And yeah, having one leg makes it extremely more challenging.0 -
I think people will take away what they want from it, regardless of what she wrote on the top.
I saw a lot of comments about her looks and how it's not focused on fitness but looks. Would it have been better had she just put up her stats? Like: I'm 5'7, 140 pounds. My cholesterol is 140 and my blood pressure is 120/70. (or whatever) and then said, "What's your excuse?" Not nearly as convincing, at least to me. It is hard to convey fitness in a picture. She looks great/fit/in shape and genuinely happy (as do her kids).0 -
lol, I imagine this sums up why so many women are pissed. I personally think it is impressive.0 -
I just saw one of those online course commercials directed at busy people. At the end, the person who took and completed those courses landed a dream job as a result. I guess I have no alternative but to compare my goals and success to that person and if I don't land a huge, well-paying job like them, then I must be an utter failure.
My point is that negative people love to compare themselves to others and feel that everyone else is competing against them.0 -
You saw my Facebook feed, didn't you Tom?
Anyway, my original comments on a thread relating to this still hold true:
It's the caption. It is accusatory. If it were directed more as an 'I have no excuses' comment and wasn't followed up with her trying to explain herself, it might have done something more for me. As it stands, it's accusatory and not motivational - for me. For others, maybe it is.
That's not true...it's not the caption. I'd bet money that she could have put "I have no excuses" and still received as much, if not more, negative responses as the caption that is there now. People who aren't willing to put in the work and effort will find fault and butthurt in whatever they see in order to justify why "they can't be better".
They have a direct line to the whaaaaammmbbbulance and love to dial in as much as possible.
I agree it's not the precise caption. It's what's implied. I think it's an alienating message. Social media like FB runs on the basis of people wanting to be "friends" and "liked" not judged, prodded, motivated or otherwise. If this had been an ad in the back of a parenting magazine, maybe it's tone would have been more clear and better received.0 -
Ok, I am heading out the door but my point (before this goes crazy and it inevitably will) is that an athlete is an athlete, disabled or not. Everyone has barriers. Some are noticeable (physical), some are not (mental.)
I see no real distinction and by the same token treat people equally, both negative and positive.0 -
lol, I imagine this sums up why so many women are pissed. I personally think it is impressive.
Hahaha. Perfect gif placement. This could only have been better if it had been posted on her facebook page directly under her "ad" or whatever we are hypothesizing it is.0 -
You mean a driven, no nonsense personality that doesn't accept excuses and bounces back from hardships. Who would want those type of friends. Oh yeah, weak people who want a chorus of excuse makers and failures behind them holding them back from life and sitting in their corners spitting venom at anyone who accomplishes what they cannot.I mean who would really want to be friends with someone with that personality.0 -
This is exactly right. The strangest response to her image is, "She says I have to look like her". No. She says that she is physically fit and she doesn't use being a mom as an excuse for being out of shape (and she runs 2 businesses too).
Where in this image did it say EVERY WOMAN? Why does this not also apply to men? Isn't it just as reasonable to say this image implies that I, as a man, should have breasts that look exactly like hers?Here's why this if offensive: the picture and caption imply that EVERY WOMAN should look exactly as ripped and thin as this woman does. The implicit message is that there is no excuse and therefore NO REASON for any female to look less fabulous than this woman does.
It doesn't say "you shouldn't use excuses to not change your lifestyle".
It says "you have no excuse to not look as sexy and fit as me".
I for one can think of many reasons why many women of all ages and types might not look anything like her while offering no excuses and pursuing the best, healthiest lifestyles there is.
To state it another way, this photo and caption is offensive because its clearly referencing outward appearance as the primary goal for a woman or mother to want to pursue fitness.
If you can't see how this victimizes women, then you're part of the problem.
Seems to me all of the messages you don't like do not appear in this image and only exist in your own head. Perhaps you should be offended at yourself and your own prejudices instead.
She just sacrifices a lot of things other people are not willing to (eating out, watching TV, playing on their phone while their kids are at the park).
Americans ON AVERAGE spend 34 hours a week watching TV. If we took out 5 of those and replaced it with running, walking, lifting, etc. etc. America would almost cease to have an obesity problem.
"But but, if I don't get to watch my ________ (insert reality TV show here) I am just in a bad mood"
The funniest thing is people shaming her for not spending time with their kids are mostly the SAME people who are watching hours of TV every night. Spend that time with your kids.
I'm not against watching TV, I watch some myself (nowhere near 34 hours mind you). But don't complain about how you are too busy being a mother/father to work out if you do.
I believe there are probably people out there who just can't do it. It's just not possible. Be it a genetic disorder, working 3 jobs to pay bills, whatever. But let's be real...2/3 of Americans are not overweight because they're good parents or have bad genes. They're just not.
/end of rant
EDIT: Lastly, how you react to her photo says something about YOU not about her.0 -
i feel no pressure to win a nobel prize or a grammy. why would i feel bad that someone else is succeeding at anything? seems like a waste of my time...0
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Yes she looks great, and god for her. But without context such as soci-economic situation and medical situation (and genetics for that matter), it's just a great for her. Everyone comes from a different situation and the cookie cutter what works for some works for all is all in all pointless.
So she is a little to smug for my taste, but on the whole she found something that works for her and she should be proud of herself. But she shouldn't pretend that her situation could be applied to all.0 -
It's controversial because now I want to give her a 4th.0
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I've noticed women in particular like to make excuses for themselvs. They blow wat out of proportion that amount of work home life actually takes.
I was a single teenage mom with a job and full time college and managed good grades, a cared for child and a clean house.
My cousin has a full-time job and two children under 3 and her house is immaculate and she's in fantastic shape.
People tend to make life way harder than it needs to be. Not everyone is great at planning and time management. Some peoples lives *feel* harder because they're doin it wrong.
agreed. i'm currently doing it wrong right now by being on here typing instead of working out but my new magical workout pants are in the wash so that's my excuse. (i forgot to put them in the wash last night, whose fault is that? mine.) 0 -
Ok, I am heading out the door but my point (before this goes crazy and it inevitably will) is that an athlete is an athlete, disabled or not. Everyone has barriers. Some are noticeable (physical), some are not (mental.)
I see no real distinction and by the same token treat people equally, both negative and positive.
It's not going to go crazy, lmao. You are just missing the point. He was not an athlete in the first photo. Oh boy...:laugh:0 -
I googled her.
I am amazed at the backlash she got from that one image. Entire blog posts have been devoted to bashing her, implying that she's not "good enough" as a mom, and it just blows my mind that people will say ANYTHING to justify the hate. "I may be fifteen pounds overweight, but I haven't missed one developmental milestone, or school play, or anything because I was at the gym instead of being a good mom."
Wow...
I have mad love for this woman, because I remember how busy it was when my boys were little. If I were going to be hating on her for anything, I imagine it would have to be for her ability to plan out her day the way she does. 0 -
You can tell her kids are not by the same man. Lol!
wut?
Oh congratulations for having simultaneously the least relevant, most catty and most unscientific post in the history of MFP.
Where did we put the award for that again?0 -
I don't understand how anyone can imply she is a bad mom just because she's fit. That is so ludicrous. Oh no, she's active, what a terrible mom. We can't be having active, healthy moms, that's just wrong.0
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Yeah, that's still one that just gets in my side and drives me nuts.I googled her.
I am amazed at the backlash she got from that one image. Entire blog posts have been devoted to bashing her, implying that she's not "good enough" as a mom, and it just blows my mind that people will say ANYTHING to justify the hate. "I may be fifteen pounds overweight, but I haven't missed one developmental milestone, or school play, or anything because I was at the gym instead of being a good mom."
Wow...
I have mad love for this woman, because I remember how busy it was when my boys were little. If I were going to be hating on her for anything, I imagine it would have to be for her ability to plan out her day the way she does.
First, mom's who don't take time for themselves are doing a disservice to their kids IMO. They'll be more stressed, more on edge and less likely to be patient and understanding with their kids.
Second, when I lost most of my weight, I got up at 5:30am every freaking day to workout. Not because I'm a morning person (I wasn't at all) but because then I wouldn't miss any time with my kids because I was at the gym.
Unreal.0 -
I don't understand how anyone can imply she is a bad mom just because she's fit. That is so ludicrous. Oh no, she's active, what a terrible mom. We can't be having active, healthy moms, that's just wrong.
Don't you know that putting on pants, brushing your hair and doing the dishes also take time away from being a good mom? I have seen all those examples and more on mommy boards.0 -
I can't imagine why anyone would ridicule this woman. If anything it's a potent example of what a person IS capable of. Jealousy I suppose drives many. I read this persons take, she lists what her excuses are.... which is fine (http://www.theinklingsoflife.com/2012/10/my-excuses-for-not-looking-like-maria.html). She chose a different way. Clearly Maria Kang has dedicated her life to fitness, and was successful in attaining both family and fitness. People who don't aren't lesser, nor was she implying it. As far as I can tell she isn't even the one who added the "what's your excuse".... it was on her own page too, she wasn't posting to other people. Some will use as a motivational poster... others will use it as an attack to vilify her because of their own feelings of inadequacy. I personally don't believe I have the drive to do what it takes to look like her.... that being said, maybe I do. Either way, I tip my hat. The people bashing her will have a lot of Karma to make up for.0
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You can tell her kids are not by the same man. Lol!
wut?
Oh congratulations for having simultaneously the least relevant, most catty and most unscientific post in the history of MFP.
Where did we put the award for that again?
That made my brain hurt. I can't even focus on all the other ignorant nonsense here after that.0 -
Way to miss the f***ing point. The man is missing a leg, instead of sitting around and crying in his cheerios he accomplished something. That something could have been something not related to diet or athletics. The point is that he didn't let having one leg paralyze him and turn him into an excuse factory.So, by the same logic, is this picture controversial?
The reason why this is getting so much backlash is not the content of the picture or caption itself. It's the discomfort of looking inward and actively thinking about those excuses. It's easier to point fingers at the "bully" than actually examine their lifestyle. It's definitely a projection issue.
I find it equally as stupid.
If diet is the main thing to leaning out how does having one leg provide a barrier to that exactly? Or even working out with the suitable equipment? Am I supposed to cut him some slack simply because he has one leg.
Great transformation. Terrible message.0 -
You can tell her kids are not by the same man. Lol!
wut?
Oh congratulations for having simultaneously the least relevant, most catty and most unscientific post in the history of MFP.
Where did we put the award for that again?
That made my brain hurt. I can't even focus on all the other ignorant nonsense here after that.
I know, right? I have 3 kids. One has brown hair, green eyes, one has brown hair brown eyes, the third has blonde hair blue eyes. Not one of them looks anything like my wife. Only one of them looks anything like me.0 -
I think its great. It sets a standard that all men should seek in a women. Why should we have to compromise when looking for our mate?0
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I'll play devil's advocate here....
People do not like things that are preachy.
It's a one size fits all approach. This woman is a trainer, a fitness model, and makes her LIVING do these things.
Talk to someone who travels for work and puts in 60-70 hours per week....maybe they are slightly overweight. Should they be called out?
Is it reasonable to expect EVERYONE to look like a fitness model?
exactly. I think the photo is inspiring and awesome. She proves that she can stay fit and work hard on her body even with 3 tiny kids. Yay for her! I celebrate that. But I don't like the challenging, condescending tone of the message. It doesn't offend me. I'm not even a mom anyway. But to me it DOES sorta imply that ALL women ***should*** look like that. I don't really agree. They should if they want to. But they are not obligated to look like that.
Thanks for this post. That was me. Right after having my kid when he was tiny and I was nursing while making sure I was completely recovered from a debilitating injury and also nursing some new ones sustained during the pregnancy....I guess you could say I felt my plate was full and I felt I'd chosen my priorities and getting in tip top pageant shape was not one of them. And I knew I could do it anytime I wanted, but I didn't wanted at the time. I think you do read it correctly that it implies that.0 -
I can see how it is kind of an in your face approach, but that works for me. I think she looks amazing and gets no hate from me. I have no doubt in my mind that I can achieve her level of fitness if I put in the same dedication as she did/does. However, I will never achieve her look. It's just not physically possible, at least not without $15,000 in plastic surgery. I also had 3 boys in less than 4 years, and let's just say my pregnancies appear to have taken a much bigger toll on my body than hers did. Still not hate worthy, just the luck of genetics. So given that aspect, I can see how it could possibly rub people the wrong way. It's just not 100% attainable for some. Still, jealousy is an ugly b itch.0
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You can tell her kids are not by the same man. Lol! Gosh seriously and seriously not jealous at all I will say the title is rude. Not that being out of shape is anyone's fault but there own, still I am sensitive. I mean who would really want to be friends with someone with that personality. It just seems like showing out to me. I find it hard to believe she has ever been overweight in her life and genetically I find it hard to think she will ever be. Plus to have three kids, well these result not typical.
What does her children's father(s) have to do with this?
You find it hard to believe she was ever overweight?! Have you not seen some of the people around here that were 100lbs+ overweight that at at her level of fitness or greater?0 -
I've heard many, many moms say pregnancy weight is impossible to lose. Not "hard," not "difficult," but "impossible." They believe it, and want you to believe it too. Hell, it's part of what drove me to MFP a year after my first munchkin terrorist was born.
This is so crazy, how women tell each other this, how society tells women this. I came to mfp for a similar reason. This myth is so pervasive, that a woman that has had kids or "over a certain age" is just going to be carrying around extra weight as a matter of course. So, I became interested in my own fitness/nutrition and learned that no, it's actually a choice.
I've always been thin. Because of that you'll-be-fat-one-day threat that people love to tell thin people, I took up mfp BEFORE getting pregnant, figured out my experimental maintenance, did some weight lifting, and then got pregnant. At 19 weeks I realize how silly this much prep work for pregnancy is, but now I love mfp, and so won't be quitting it any time soon.0 -
So, by the same logic, is this picture controversial?
The reason why this is getting so much backlash is not the content of the picture or caption itself. It's the discomfort of looking inward and actively thinking about those excuses. It's easier to point fingers at the "bully" than actually examine their lifestyle. It's definitely a projection issue.
I hate to say it but it's male vs. female perception. As women we already feel bombarded with images of bodies better than ours. Some women feel that we are valued on appearance above all other things, to a much greater extent than men. I think in general men are just better about no internalizing things. "Good for this guy, but what does this have to do with me? I don't want to be a body builder anyway." They don't think "Oh my that guy is lean and only has one leg, I must be a lard *kitten*, no one is going to love me, I'll never be good enough".
Personally I'm more inspired by a woman lifting a heavy weight, or enjoying her workout, laughing with her friends, chasing her kids, than I am by a six-pack.
Something like this is awesome:
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Here's why this if offensive: the picture and caption imply that EVERY WOMAN should look exactly as ripped and thin as this woman does.
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It doesn't say "you shouldn't use excuses to not change your lifestyle".
It says "you have no excuse to not look as sexy and fit as me".
...
If you can't see how this victimizes women, then you're part of the problem.
Don't confuse what is "implied" with what you have "inferred." I find this to be a common mistake.
And this shouldn't victimize women - it should empower them. If you feel victimized, then you are the problem.0
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