Does "Hot Mom" Need to Apologize?

servilia

I just think the whole thing is stand-offish. "What's your excuse?" doesn't really come across as encouraging, but accusatory.

"I did it, and you can too!" I think would have been more helpful, followed by a link to her site for tips.

Because we are children?
Again this goes back to being to sensitive.
We are adults, should be treated as such and at a cetain point lets be honest it is time to get a kick in the *kitten*.
No more babying everyone.

This is not about sensitivity. Her ad is treating me like a child. I am an adult, and I have my own reasons for doing what I do.

Maybe you should read my previous huge post about why you reasons for doing it is what she is saying! This women isn't talking to people like you who are doing what they need to feel healthy and happy. She is talking to the people that are doing nothing. She is saying she has kids, she owns 2 businesses and she makes time to focus on HER. She is saying everyone should do this and there is LITERALLY no excuse. Stop crying because you don't want the same things and have a different reason for doing this because this ad isn't for you if you are doing it. And again, sometimes it has to be broken done to something as simple as, what is your excuse? To really think wow, I clearly don't have one for people that aren't doing anything!

This

devil_in_a_blue_dress

think the difference is that society as a whole doesn't expect people with physical disabilities to have "hot" bodies or be in any particular shape. Women are expected to want children and then be "MILF"s when they are done pushing them out. Again, I don't think this woman needs to apologize, but maybe wonder if how she is approaching "motivation" feeds into the idea that looks get you more press than 1) owning a business that helps care for people or 2) running a charity that helps children.

Sorry but I think the two are the same. Both are saying there is no excuse to not go out there and do it. In her case sure she's saying there's no excuse to not get the body you want and I have to agree with her.

We have become a society of p*ssies. Of people who blame everyone else for their shortcomings or the fact that they haven't achieved what they want. Now this woman has some how offended people who are over weight simply by posting a picture and asking a simple question: "What's your Excuse?" But of course that's fat shaming. Like I said would it have been any different if she was on the front of a fitness magazine and the title said something like "Mom of three shares her story on how she got this rockin' body and stays in shape! Her motto "What's Your Excuse" is what keeps her motivated!" No. You would go flip through the magazine and read her amazing story. You'd stare in awe at her awesome body and think 'Wow! She is unbelievable! I might have to try her ideas!" But instead because it's just a simple picture with three simple words it's fat shaming.

It'ss your problem that you have an issue and are reading that much into it. It's YOUR problem if you think she's fat shaming. If people took half as much time and energy that they put into posting their hate about those who are fit and in shape and got off their *kitten* and stepped away from the computer for a few minutes perhaps they too could have that kind of body too.

:huh: You angry bro? I have said her actual writings about health and fitness support the notion that she wasn't trying to fat shame. Unfortunately, she gave an off putting non-apology on her facebook page, similar to your off putting response, which is full of assumptions.

Do you know me? No. I have maintained a pretty substantial weight loss for longer than most of you have belonged to MFP and am fit. Believe it or not, I wouldn't open a magazine to see how she got her body, I am very happy with the one I have. But your comments in that regard say a whole lot about you.

There is a whole lot more going on with this photo than fat women being jealous. It kind of encapsulates two of the greatest societal pressure women face: to be mothers and to be "hot". Of course some see it as motivation, other people don't. Nobody knows this woman's intent. If you look at how she wrote before, it clearly seems motivational. If you look at her defensiveness after, it makes one wonder. That's all.

KokowithaK

I keep reading 'well one has to wonder if she has a nanny' or 'well one has to wonder if she spends 8 hours working out a day' or 'well on has to wonder _______'
Are people really that lazy that they can't just google her and find that she has a site at mariakang.com where she's already posted the answers to these questions? Not that it matters any. This was clearly motivational as she posted it on her site, which was aimed for people who are into fitness. I look at daily motivational quotes for exercise and the majority of them are 'What's your excuse'. That tag-line is specifically aimed towards people looking to better themselves in the health department.

rowrunyoga

I'm not nearly as irked as a lot of people are, but I wonder if the reaction would be the same if her achievement was something else that a lot of people wouldn't be able to attain no matter how hard they worked.

Imagine a woman holding a degree from her doctorate in microbiology with her three kids sitting around her with the tagline "What's Your Excuse?"

Or a woman standing in a perfect Martha Stewart-style house with the tagline "What's Your Excuse?"

I don't think this was meant to be fat-shaming, but it does play into the idea that women are supposed to be perfect. We're supposed to be beautiful, with a perfect body, even if we have small children. And that's just not possible for a lot of people. I'm never going to be beautiful, no matter what my weight is. At best I'll be cute or nice looking.

And, frankly, my priorities are not hers. I want to be a healthy weight. You can be healthy and not have rock-hard abs. And that's okay.

Exactly my point. She is making the assumption that if you don't look like her you are making excuses. Maybe someone doesn't want to look like her. They are good where they're at.

So here perspective comes into play... our own personal thought processes. I will NEVER look like here without say, a personal stylist, and some plastic surgery. I'm okay with that. My first thought on seeing this was, "Lucky B*itch!" Followed by, "Good work. Well done."

Then reading all the comments she received (love and hate)... I'm amazed at the anger. Then I think how much pressure there is on women as a whole to be the perfectly put together soccer mom... Is she feeding into our obsession on appearance?

My favorite responses on here have been the "good on,ya, but that's not MY goal."
I like when we can support someone having success.

(Of course, I lol'd at the guy saying she needed to apologize for not having his baby.)

Thank you for all the responses.
Makes for a good read.

Mr_Excitement

Can't formulate coherent response. Going to stare at photo again.

rowrunyoga

The first three threads about her weren't sufficient?

Apparently not because there are 6 pages of commentary here.

Whtmask

I think that people get offended too easily. I don't think she needs to apologize, if you have a problem with it, then that is -your- problem.

I think our society is so confused...on one side we have this projection from the media and from Hollywood on what the perfect men and women look like.

In response to this, there is the crowd that says we need to be politically correct and not make anyone feel bad about their weight.

I disagree with both of these stances. I believe that as a society we should encourage all people to be healthy! Even if that makes them feel bad, I would rather them feel bad than for them to die at a young age because of their addiction to food, from a lack of exercise, from a medical problem, etc. You don't have to have rock hard abs or a perfect body, but I believe everyone should try to live a healthy live. That benefits themselves, and society.

However, I believe that if a person is comfortable with themselves, then good for them. I don't necessarily have to agree with that, and that's okay. I may say to them that I think they should try to live a healthy life, that may offend them, but who cares? Being offended is not the end of the world.

just_Jennie1

Exactly my point. She is making the assumption that if you don't look like her you are making excuses. Maybe someone doesn't want to look like her. They are good where they're at.

You're making that assumption. The way I see it is she's saying "I have three kids and I still find time to work out. So what's your excuse?"

midwestmixtape

The only people offended are the people who are jealous and angry that they haven't treated their own body right, and they don't know how to process it, so they take it out on her "shaming"

just_Jennie1

think the difference is that society as a whole doesn't expect people with physical disabilities to have "hot" bodies or be in any particular shape. Women are expected to want children and then be "MILF"s when they are done pushing them out. Again, I don't think this woman needs to apologize, but maybe wonder if how she is approaching "motivation" feeds into the idea that looks get you more press than 1) owning a business that helps care for people or 2) running a charity that helps children.

Sorry but I think the two are the same. Both are saying there is no excuse to not go out there and do it. In her case sure she's saying there's no excuse to not get the body you want and I have to agree with her.

We have become a society of p*ssies. Of people who blame everyone else for their shortcomings or the fact that they haven't achieved what they want. Now this woman has some how offended people who are over weight simply by posting a picture and asking a simple question: "What's your Excuse?" But of course that's fat shaming. Like I said would it have been any different if she was on the front of a fitness magazine and the title said something like "Mom of three shares her story on how she got this rockin' body and stays in shape! Her motto "What's Your Excuse" is what keeps her motivated!" No. You would go flip through the magazine and read her amazing story. You'd stare in awe at her awesome body and think 'Wow! She is unbelievable! I might have to try her ideas!" But instead because it's just a simple picture with three simple words it's fat shaming.

It'ss your problem that you have an issue and are reading that much into it. It's YOUR problem if you think she's fat shaming. If people took half as much time and energy that they put into posting their hate about those who are fit and in shape and got off their *kitten* and stepped away from the computer for a few minutes perhaps they too could have that kind of body too.

:huh: You angry bro? I have said her actual writings about health and fitness support the notion that she wasn't trying to fat shame. Unfortunately, she gave an off putting non-apology on her facebook page, similar to your off putting response, which is full of assumptions.

Do you know me? No. I have maintained a pretty substantial weight loss for longer than most of you have belonged to MFP and am fit. Believe it or not, I wouldn't open a magazine to see how she got her body, I am very happy with the one I have. But your comments in that regard say a whole lot about you.

There is a whole lot more going on with this photo than fat women being jealous. It kind of encapsulates two of the greatest societal pressure women face: to be mothers and to be "hot". Of course some see it as motivation, other people don't. Nobody knows this woman's intent. If you look at how she wrote before, it clearly seems motivational. If you look at her defensiveness after, it makes one wonder. That's all.

Oh really?

And what exactly do my "comments in that regard" have to say about me? Apparently you didn't get my point.

And to take right from you: YOU don't know ME either so how can you sit there and say that you've sustained your weight loss longer than most people who are on MFP have? Do you live with me? Do you know my struggle? Do you know how much I've lost and how long I've kept it off? Hell you don't even know what I look like so again, YOU don't know ME either.

And I wasn't saying she was fat shaming but apparently the people who gave her grief over her picture -- heck even people here -- see it that way.

HiKaren

Nope... She does not need to. And this comes from someone who has never even had one human come out of her... Only Pomeranians.... :happy:

juliewatkin

I think you would only feel that it's 'fat shaming' if you felt inside, that you were making excuses for yourself. You'd likely only feel bad if that statement hit some internal target that you have.

If you are confident and secure in your own life and priorities regardless of whether they are the same as 'fit mommy's' priorities, it wouldn't sting. If you feel deep down that you should have those priorities and have done nothing to further them, then it may pinch a bit.

That picture neither motivates me nor offends me because that isn't my life and I'm quite secure in my own.

Elliesque

I don't think she owes an apology at all. However, had she put something else besides "whats your excuse" at the top of her pic, she probably wouldn't have gotten the backlash she did.

teresa77447

I don't think she owes an apology at all. However, had she put something else besides "whats your excuse" at the top of her pic, she probably wouldn't have gotten the backlash she did.

FIrst time I have ever heard of this. I can see that by putting that on the picture it would cause an issue. After reading through no I do not think she needs to apolgize but I also don't think it was necessary to pose like that with her kids. I would have made done the picture alone like that and then one with my kids/ages shown in something a little more modest.

rm7161

while I have different priorities (not interested in children, particularly), I don't see the point of people getting so offended by her. Grats to her accomplishments, it's not easy to do what she's done.

I'm pretty sick and tired of these people crying "fat shaming" to virtually anyone who dares to talk about how they keep fit and managed to get their figure back after a bout of being overweight, pregnant, etc. I've seen it so often that it causes me to eyeroll. I say this having gone from a size 22 last summer to a size 12 now. Is that fat shaming to talk about my success? If it is, let me happily tell you where to jump off the nearest pier.

edit: and why yes, I have been attacked while overweight, people have walked up and called me a pig, etc. Bullying like that is never ok. But while I didn't deserve that treatment, I also had to be realistic that being over 260 lbs was killing me, and what I did was hard work and deserves something better than yet more bullying.

LoudmouthLee

Owe an apology? What is this, little league where everyone gets a freaking participation trophy?

There's no apology necessary. When I lost my weight, I became infinitely less able to listen to others excuses. I actually lost friends over it....

teresa77447

Owe an apology? What is this, little league where everyone gets a freaking participation trophy?

There's no apology necessary. When I lost my weight, I became infinitely less able to listen to others excuses. I actually lost friends over it....

Not that I was ever in little league but I really do hate that, that is how the handle kids sports now. Everyone is a winner. Thats not how it works when your an adult so why on earth do we want to teach our kids that now.

meeper123

this again!? really who fing cares

ShellBell4281

This picture's intent actually worked on me. No joke. I saw it, thought about it, and in the end, I realized that nursing school and being a mom was NOT an excuse to be lazy. So I "unfroze" my gym membership and worked out for the first time in 6 months yesterday. So no, she doesn't need to apologize.

entropy83

No, but someone please give her a product to endorse which she obviously is seeking.