Is it wrong/ok to leave someone if.......
Replies
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Wow, this thread has gotten sad.0
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No, so stop wasting his time.0
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This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?0 -
Wow, this thread has gotten sad.
Have to agree.
Poor, poor men.0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?
From what? She can get off her butt and get a job, like everyone else, instead of leeching off her ex. They are no longer together, so he shouldn't still be responsible for her. She's an adult.0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?
So, if the agreement is that mom will stay home and raise the kids and dad will work to provide and things go wrong then screw mom? Not all women are gold diggers, geezus0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?
From what? She can get off her butt and get a job, like everyone else, instead of leeching off her ex. They are no longer together, so he shouldn't still be responsible for her. She's an adult.
Careful, you are making sense and using logic and stuff.0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?
So, if the agreement is that mom will stay home and raise the kids and dad will work to provide and things go wrong then screw mom? Not all women are gold diggers, geezus
Not all men are deadbeats, geezus
He deserves every bit as much protection from her "need" resulting from her sacrifice, as she deserves for her sacrifice. His sacrifice of his hard earned, and his own needs, are worthy of protection too.
Was the agreement that she would stay at home, raise the kids, and he would pay all the bills, but if she decided to leave him he would continue to pay all of the bills forever? So if she leaves, screw dad?
A mature and responsible couple would negotiate these issues calmly ahead of time, and make them legally binding ahead of time. Contracts, joint deeds, and so on.0 -
delete0
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As a man, I agree that this is a perfectly valid reason to leave someone. If they do not want the same future as you, then you either give up your desired future, or leave to go find it.0
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Just incase the OP ever comes back and wants a first hand account of someone that had a similar seneraio.
I was in a very similar situation. my babys dad and myself me 25 , him 30 had a child together and were together for a number of years. We were more or less volitile to eachother. I wanted to seek help- he did not. He refused to help our relationship get stronger and so instead of marrying him ( which was a ridiculous option) I had to leave. It sucks so bad but I share out son 50/50 ( i miss him so badly when hes gone its really tough) but me and his father are so much happier in our own lives apart than together. he gave me my son which im very greatful for. but I am now married to an amazing man and have the happiest most supported existence. This i could never have dreamed about before. My son is thriving. hes a brilliant, well adjusted child about to enter kindergarten.
I was torn when I left but I knew the fighting would never improve. I couldnt fix both of us all by myself and if he wasnt willing to help i could just stay unhappy and quiet about it or I could do something. so i did.
I take one look at my life now and I am so incredibly happy that I did that.0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?
So, if the agreement is that mom will stay home and raise the kids and dad will work to provide and things go wrong then screw mom? Not all women are gold diggers, geezus
Get a damn job -__- The only protecting anyone needs are those kids, and dad helping pay for food and clothes for them. That's it. if the wife cannot provide for the kids then maybe the dad should have the kids living with him, until mommy can get her act together.0 -
This is so damn sad. And, you don't even realize it.
Unbelievably presumptious.
A marriage certificate does protect women from the unscrupulous behaviour of abusive and controlling men. Plenty of these men would be happy to walk off into the sunset with all the money and all the property without a second thought for the wife and kids. And enjoy the power trip of being 'one up' too!
Luckily the legal system doesn't allow that. I was delighted to see a guy jailed last month for refusing to disclose assets to the court.:bigsmile:
If it's HIS money then he can do whatever HE wants with it. Why should the wife get anything?
Because SHE *needs* "protection"... gawd what don't you understand about that?
So, if the agreement is that mom will stay home and raise the kids and dad will work to provide and things go wrong then screw mom? Not all women are gold diggers, geezus
Get a damn job -__-
Why do that when she could get Alimony, Child Support, plus half of all his money and property? /snark0 -
I don't think there are many wrong reasons to leave someone, and if you genuinely want things in your future that he's not going to be able or willing to provide, then it's not wrong at all for you to end it.
However . . . the conversation about marriage and kids is one that's best had before you've been together for so long and before you've actually started making babies together. Just saying.0 -
back in the day you didnt throw anything away, you fixed it. It seems a lot of people think that the grass is greener on the other side. Its always green over a septic tank :laugh:
I agree. It seems people jump into these complicated relationships too fast and in 6 years they are shocked when they don't want the same things. It takes time to get to know someone. I really believe in doing all you can to stay with someone (especially if children are involved) unless you are in danger.
I am divorced, so I understand not being happy. Marriage is not about being happy all the time and getting to do everything you want. Marriage is about learning a mutual respect for each other so that you both learn what makes the other one happy and both genuinely strive for the other person's happiness at all time.
That being said, I am sure there are TONS of people who will disagree with me here, because that is what the world is coming to it seems. We all look out for ourselves and demand happiness from others and do very little to make others happy.0 -
It's a commitment to be married. It's also a major commitment to stay with someone if you're not married. Think about it. You're with someone for 50 years without a piece of paper tying you together. You share you life and your love. If he's afraid of commitment then he needs to be single. Explain to him he's already committed.0
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It's a commitment to be married. It's also a major commitment to stay with someone if you're not married. Think about it. You're with someone for 50 years without a piece of paper tying you together. You share you life and your love. If he's afraid of commitment then he needs to be single. Explain to him he's already committed.
No need to get married then since he's already committed?0 -
Dear OP,
Put Marriage aside for a few minutes..... i really believe that your partner is happy that you and he already have a wonderful 4 yr old and a great relationship. So you do have one child with him, i think your hormones, nature, natural body urges are telling you to have a 2nd child. YES, it would be nice but I think your partner loves the ONE child enough that he is already considering finances, maybe saving for college, planning the income projections etc.
No, I don't 100% know all that, but i do know a second child, when one child is already 4.5 years old means having to start all over again with bottles, diapers, childcare.......all of that.
As far as the marriage, in many states you do have some legal protections, esp since you have a child with him----if you leave him and move-on , good luck. Good Luck in meeting soemone who will be good to the child you have, love both you and your child AND be willing to have a second baby.
In my experience..if you have the choice, try to meet a Guy who is perhaps raising a child alone already; he may be more likely to appreciate your situation , want aother child and want everyone of you in his life and to be a part of his life.
Really, think this through--think about how complicated you may be making your life, you'll still have the other Man ( the one you are now with) in your life as he comes to your house, year after year, to pick up the child you have together for holidays, weekends...vacations.
I've watched this play out IRL and it can be done but be sure it is best for you long term.0 -
It's a commitment to be married. It's also a major commitment to stay with someone if you're not married. Think about it. You're with someone for 50 years without a piece of paper tying you together. You share you life and your love. If he's afraid of commitment then he needs to be single. Explain to him he's already committed.
No need to get married then since he's already committed?
That is correct.0
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