Do you leash your kid?

xmysterix

No, but I don't have a child who bolts for the road or has any developmental issues that may prevent them from understanding risk. I don't judge.

CaptainHNNNGGG

Parents these days..

Squamation

I never thought I would leash my child until we went to the Grand Canyon. He was 2 and while a well behaved 2 year old, there were still random bouts of running to see something, and unsteady legs that made me nervous. They sell leashes in the gift shop and I bought one and used it.

It was the only time he's ever been leashed but for me it was necessary.

it wasn't the entire time- he spent lots of time in the backpack, and there were many places where there was a solid wall between certain death and the tourists. The leash was only for the times/places that there were NO barriers (aside from myself) between him and the edge of a cliff (which was more frequent than I was expecting).

leslturn8

Some cases sure its important, like if you have more then on child under 3.
If you have a child under 3 that has more energy then a pro athelete and is beyond hyper and is like the speed of light, then yes.
If your at an event like the royal easter show etc. Sure.

But if your standing in the shopping centre, looking at shoes through the window, while your on the phone to who ever while your leashed child is being ignored like its a dog....no

I know a mother of 5 and when she had with 3 children under 3 and they all liked different things, she would tell me its hard to shop as they run off. But do you know what....she wont leash her children, she is teaching them what she expects from them and now one is 4, they know the deal.

Each to their own, I just shake my head every time I see them and dont get me started on children over the age of 3 having a dummy all the time.

AlongCame_Molly

Seeing kids on leashes makes me so angry! I DON'T GET IT

Agreed, why can't you just hold your kid's hand? If you leash them that doesn't teach them anything about respecting you as a parent. I also think there is much to be said for physical contact/human touch from parent to child. Putting a leash between you is just weird.

Edit: I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be judging other parents, I feel bad about feeling this way but it's just a pet peeve of mine

I can tell without even knowing you or visiting your profile that you do not have children of your own. It is very clear that you "do not get it". Ever had to watch multiple small children, one or more of whom are escape artists and flight risks? Yeah, didn't think so.
How about you not flap your mouth on subjects on which you are woefully and embarrassingly ignorant? Kthnxbai.

kkerri

I can't judge toddlers on leashes as much as I can 8 year olds in strollers at Disney World :-)

Ophidion

honeysprinkles

I seriously don't understand why this is controversial. I'd rather my kid (when I have one) wear a cute little backpack that looks like a stuffed animal and have a "leash" on them in a busy area than have someone grab them or them run off in a second and hurt themselves.

A couple years ago, we took my siblings to Sea World and the youngest was maybe 1 or 2 (old enough to walk but still very young) and I bought one for the trip. Don't care what anyone else thought, at least he was safe and got a little more freedom to be independent and walk around instead of being stuck in the stroller all day!

when I have kids, I'll do the same thing!

Carissa145

This topic has already been discussed on here and it did not go well.

Some children don't hold hands well and slip out of their parents grip and if it came down to putting your kids in a backpack leash or them dying by running in front of a car or getting stolen, I would go with the leash.

How about you not judge other parents?

Or you could just train the kid to behave better. I think that's better in the long run.

randomtai

None of my kids had a leash. They didn't go running off and they all listened to me.

LishLash79

I am totally for whatever keeps your kids safe. Every child is different. I have five kids, only one Have I had to use a safety harness for as he was a runner and i was afraid he would put himself in danger. You do whats best for your child. a the end of the day all the matters is that your children are loved and happy. This is such a pointless topic.

neandermagnon

Not this topic again

1. It's not a leash, it's reins. There's a harness that goes around the kid's shoulders and there's a strap that a parent can hold. A leash goes around the neck (at least in the British English definition of the term)

2. it's for very small kids, aged 1-3, who many parents will put in strollers, so that they can walk and get some exercise and also interact with the parent as they walk, rather than sitting on their backside being pushed along in the stroller. Unless the kid has a developmental delay, they are generally no longer using reins by the age of 3 or 4.

3. they have been used in the UK for decades. My mum had me in reins when I was the above age. Their use is common in very small kids, not for older kids, although you can get wrist straps that join the parent and child's wrist for older kids if there's still a risk of them running off (e.g. if they have a developmental delay or other neurological issue). Generally the parent hold's the child's hand while using these, e.g. wrapping it around the wrist then holding the child's hand. It's there in case the child makes a sudden dash into the traffic. UK pavements (sidewalks) can be very narrow, as can the roads, and it only takes a second for a toddler to make a run for it and get hit by a car before a parent can stop them, however the reins prevent them from getting more than about 75cm away from you, i.e. they stop at the kerb.

4. I really and truly don't understand why USA people have such a big issue with this, because it's a piece of kit that allows your child to walk by a busy road with you, as in walk, not be sat in a stroller. For a country with a childhood obesity problem, I'm really surprised at how much hate these things get. Kids of this age, you have 4 options. 1. never let them leave the house (cruel and will harm their development) 2. put them in a stroller until they're old enough to be trusted not to run into the road (restrictive - plus see the next point). 3. don't do anything to keep them safe by the road (i.e. risk their life) or 4. put them on reins so they can walk next to you safely, because the reins will stop them being able to dash into the road

5. there are big problems with having kids in strollers during this developmental stage. 1. childhood obesity - while strollers are not a sole cause, anything that gets the kids using their legs from the youngest age is clearly a good thing, while things that make them sit on their backside are counter-productive. 2. there is less interaction between parent and child in a stroller, because the child is facing away and being pushed along, the parent can basically forget the child is even there, whereas if you walk a toddler on reins you're constantly interacting with them. Reins do not control a child's behaviour, you still have to teach the child to walk next to you, hold your hand, stop at the kerb, you just have that security that should they dash into the road, the reins will stop them. You also get more conversation with them. 3. strollers are actually MORE restrictive than reins. The child is still strapped into the stroller, they are stuck in a seating position, can't walk anywhere, can't exercise, can't do anything other than watch the world around them as they're pushed along. So really, reins are bad but strollers are good?

6. most people who complain about reins are a) from the USA and b) non-parents. They tend to have ridiculous expectations of kids, like expecting one and two year olds to behave like mini adults. They say parents have to discipline their kids.... well duh! of course we have to teach them to walk properly and not run into the road.............. but what about the kid *while they are learning*? You can't tell a one year old "walk next to me and don't run in the road" and expect them to get it right first time. The reins protect them *while they are learning* to walk properly and safely down the road with a parent. Being pushed along in a stroller does not teach them this. Like I said, in the UK, they're used for toddlers and you don't see kids older than 3-4 in them. Even seeing a 4 year old in them is pretty rare. Either that or they think a child should be in a stroller until they're old enough to not be trusted to run in the road, like that's the One True Way of parenting.... there are some valid reasons why some parents may choose strollers over reins (e.g. if they have to walk for miles or get somewhere really quickly, most UK parents use both, depending on the situation) but it's not the only way, and for shorter walks when there's no time constraint, reins are great.

7. they're for safety. they are *not* a substitute for parental control, they don't even work that way at all, all they do is stop the child running into traffic or getting lost in a crowd. You can't make a child walk next to you, they can still throw tantrums, sit on the floor and refuse to walk, walk in the opposite direction - if you try to pull a child on reins in a particular direction, they'll fall down, so you can't use them to actually control a child. It's purely to stop them running into the road, etc. They run, the reins stops them getting that far, they fall on their bottom. Which is a lot better than they run, they're hit by a car, they get maimed or killed.

kkerri

Not this topic again

1. It's not a leash, it's reins. There's a harness that goes around the kid's shoulders and there's a strap that a parent can hold. A leash goes around the neck (at least in the British English definition of the term)

2. it's for very small kids, aged 1-3, who many parents will put in strollers, so that they can walk and get some exercise and also interact with the parent as they walk, rather than sitting on their backside being pushed along in the stroller. Unless the kid has a developmental delay, they are generally no longer using reins by the age of 3 or 4.

3. they have been used in the UK for decades. My mum had me in reins when I was the above age. Their use is common in very small kids, not for older kids, although you can get wrist straps that join the parent and child's wrist for older kids if there's still a risk of them running off (e.g. if they have a developmental delay or other neurological issue). Generally the parent hold's the child's hand while using these, e.g. wrapping it around the wrist then holding the child's hand. It's there in case the child makes a sudden dash into the traffic. UK pavements (sidewalks) can be very narrow, as can the roads, and it only takes a second for a toddler to make a run for it and get hit by a car before a parent can stop them, however the reins prevent them from getting more than about 75cm away from you, i.e. they stop at the kerb.

4. I really and truly don't understand why USA people have such a big issue with this, because it's a piece of kit that allows your child to walk by a busy road with you, as in walk, not be sat in a stroller. For a country with a childhood obesity problem, I'm really surprised at how much hate these things get. Kids of this age, you have 4 options. 1. never let them leave the house (cruel and will harm their development) 2. put them in a stroller until they're old enough to be trusted not to run into the road (restrictive - plus see the next point). 3. don't do anything to keep them safe by the road (i.e. risk their life) or 4. put them on reins so they can walk next to you safely, because the reins will stop them being able to dash into the road

5. there are big problems with having kids in strollers during this developmental stage. 1. childhood obesity - while strollers are not a sole cause, anything that gets the kids using their legs from the youngest age is clearly a good thing, while things that make them sit on their backside are counter-productive. 2. there is less interaction between parent and child in a stroller, because the child is facing away and being pushed along, the parent can basically forget the child is even there, whereas if you walk a toddler on reins you're constantly interacting with them. Reins do not control a child's behaviour, you still have to teach the child to walk next to you, hold your hand, stop at the kerb, you just have that security that should they dash into the road, the reins will stop them. You also get more conversation with them. 3. strollers are actually MORE restrictive than reins. The child is still strapped into the stroller, they are stuck in a seating position, can't walk anywhere, can't exercise, can't do anything other than watch the world around them as they're pushed along. So really, reins are bad but strollers are good?

6. most people who complain about reins are a) from the USA and b) non-parents. They tend to have ridiculous expectations of kids, like expecting one and two year olds to behave like mini adults. They say parents have to discipline their kids.... well duh! of course we have to teach them to walk properly and not run into the road.............. but what about the kid *while they are learning*? You can't tell a one year old "walk next to me and don't run in the road" and expect them to get it right first time. The reins protect them *while they are learning* to walk properly and safely down the road with a parent. Being pushed along in a stroller does not teach them this. Like I said, in the UK, they're used for toddlers and you don't see kids older than 3-4 in them. Even seeing a 4 year old in them is pretty rare. Either that or they think a child should be in a stroller until they're old enough to not be trusted to run in the road, like that's the One True Way of parenting.... there are some valid reasons why some parents may choose strollers over reins (e.g. if they have to walk for miles or get somewhere really quickly, most UK parents use both, depending on the situation) but it's not the only way, and for shorter walks when there's no time constraint, reins are great.

7. they're for safety. they are *not* a substitute for parental control, they don't even work that way at all, all they do is stop the child running into traffic or getting lost in a crowd. You can't make a child walk next to you, they can still throw tantrums, sit on the floor and refuse to walk, walk in the opposite direction - if you try to pull a child on reins in a particular direction, they'll fall down, so you can't use them to actually control a child. It's purely to stop them running into the road, etc. They run, the reins stops them getting that far, they fall on their bottom. Which is a lot better than they run, they're hit by a car, they get maimed or killed.

Wise words!

In the USA, it's much more "hip" to cater to profess to cater to every whim of your child all in the name of self-sacrifice and "good parenting." I can't tell you how many parents I know who claim that they can't even go to the bathroom w/out their kids in there with them. I do not profess to be a parenting expert, but in my 9+ years of having kids, I have managed that one rather easily.

honeysprinkles

This topic has already been discussed on here and it did not go well.

Some children don't hold hands well and slip out of their parents grip and if it came down to putting your kids in a backpack leash or them dying by running in front of a car or getting stolen, I would go with the leash.

How about you not judge other parents?

Or you could just train the kid to behave better. I think that's better in the long run.

have you been around many toddlers? I used to work with 2 year olds, and I can tell you without even having been a parent that it's not as easy as it sounds to just "train them" to behave better.

DrunkenFaeGirl

My daughter has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and ADHD. I've never felt the need to leash her. Even the most energetic, difficult child is capable of holding hands and learning walking safe walking rules.
She's only ever been on a leash at the daycare where I worked and brought her in with me. We had a classroom of 8 toddlers and only 2 teachers, you do the hand holding math. To get them across the parking lot to the play ground we had no choice but to lease them for their own safety and for insurance purposes. They actually did act like dogs about the leases too. When they saw them being taken out they'd jump around and run over to be the first to get theirs on to go out and play.

Momma_Grizz

This topic has already been discussed on here and it did not go well.

Some children don't hold hands well and slip out of their parents grip and if it came down to putting your kids in a backpack leash or them dying by running in front of a car or getting stolen, I would go with the leash.

How about you not judge other parents?

Or you could just train the kid to behave better. I think that's better in the long run.

Teach them to behave better? OMG really? that's ridiculous! Children like to explore and it only takes an instant for a mom to turn to look at her second child, for the first child to slip out of her hand and toddle off in front of a car or whatever. My boys were 16 months apart, they hated being stuck in a stroller so when we were walking beside a busy street I had them both in harnesses (and they weren't the cute little backpacks they have now). And they were well-behaved children - it has nothing to do with getting them to 'behave better', nothing at all. Like all children, everything is new to them and they liked to explore - but they would get out of my grip and run in separate directions. My children weren't traumatized by it. At least with the harness, they got a sense of 'independence', exercise and I knew they were safe. People need to stop judging other people, seriously. Walk in their shoes before judging.

kkerri

None of this matters really.

My kids weren't breastfed, I don't stay at home with them, and I am quite certain I have violated many of the AAP recommendations.

They are now school-aged children who are doing rather well, socially adjusted, well-mannered, good kids.

Unconditional love and a safe, supportive atmosphere are what matters - not all this "stuff" that happens in the middle.

Soccermavrick

OK, I thought it was a neat idea, but my father trashed it. Then my daughter hit 18 months. While I try to keep her in the cart, or holding my hand, she likes to show independence and tries to let go constantly, duck under things that an adult cannot get through, etc.... She likes to do things herself. She does not run off, and is never out of my sight, but having the leash attached to a backpack type thing gives me extra comfort. A) she thinks the backpack is cool, it is hers, I think she thinks that I am giving her independence, and C) it gives me control that she cannot turn a corner, or duck out of sight, duck under a cloths rack, or makes it harder to be separated.

I am not walking a dog. I may be spoiling my princess, and maybe she is walking me, but I just feel safer. And at the end of the day her safety is my first concern.

And if someone has an issue with it like my own father, I tell them get over it. Or tell them to go worry about real issues with kids today, like how some towns and counties are expecting kids to play sports without soccer balls and footballs. Or schools are eliminating Honor rolls and Deans lists because it makes some kids who are not on it feel bad.

Rastatastic

Haha. I would say you are crazy not to leash your child, but I have never been a parent before. My parents leashed me AND my young brother and we are FINE. It is not cruel, if you gentle, and not rough as a parent. Mom and Dad said it actually saved me particularly a lot of damage.

Naomi0504

I think it's ridiculous that other people care what other parents do as far as safety goes, for their own kids?? Why does it bother anyone else? That's what I don't get.

When mine were 1, 2, and 4, and it was just me with them, you can't "just hold hands". Kids are not mini adults, and they do run off. Yours will too one day most likely.

My 2 year old ran off just a few weeks ago at the library into the parking lot where a car almost hit her, but luckily I was able to barely grab her by her hair to keep her from getting run over. Yes, her hair. The only thing I could reach at that point.

I brought the "leash" out the next time we went. And I wish someone would say something to me about how they don't like it. .