Marriage - is it that important?

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm genuinely interested in opinions on this. What's your view?
    To me it is. But I can't speak for anyone else.

    I can't say someone else's reltionship is more or less due to not being married. But to me it's more than "a piece of paper" and it really means something.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    only for tax reasons and health insurance. commitment is much more important and you don't necessarily need marriage for that.
    What she said.
  • FitNurseLex
    FitNurseLex Posts: 66 Member
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    It's probably the MOST important thing in my life right now. I want to be married. Period. The draw for marriage to me is lifetime companionship. I understand that you can have that without the "hassle" of marriage, but if you're going to be around anyway, why not make it legally legitimate? Also, it's important for me to be married before having children. I am a bit of a traditionalist in that sense. Just my view.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I don't believe in god or all that crap so it's not for me but if it makes my future wife happy, then whateves, just an expensive party!
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
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    IT's important to those that it's important to.

    I agree with this. I'm married and it's important to me. If I'm ever divorced though, I don't see myself doing it again.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I don't believe in god or all that crap so it's not for me but if it makes my future wife happy, then whateves, just an expensive party!
    Doesn't have to be. I don't want that at all and I'm not particularly religious. But marriage is still important to me.

    I'll probably elope or some version of that and maybe have a few people over for dinner to celebrate.

    A wedding =/= a marriage.
  • PeaceHappinessBalance
    PeaceHappinessBalance Posts: 75 Member
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    Not being married can financially benefit certain people too. I know people that don't get married because they have kids and the woman gets more gov't help that way. This is obviously not very ethical, but I am just saying it happens a lot. In general, I think it depends, but a lot of women put too much into the whole dream of being married. I personally like being married, I think it works for me. I was with my husband 6 years (living together) before getting married and it was different when we got married but now the kinks of that are working themselves out.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    It depends on your situation. I've been married for 34 years and I know that if I wasn't, I (we) probably would have given up easily when we had some serious problems. I think that trying to hold on to what we call marriage is what kept us together. To some, it's just a piece of paper, but not us.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I don't believe in god or all that crap so it's not for me but if it makes my future wife happy, then whateves, just an expensive party!
    Doesn't have to be. I don't want that at all and I'm not particularly religious. But marriage is still important to me.

    I'll probably elope or some version of that and maybe have a few people over for dinner to celebrate.

    A wedding =/= a marriage.

    I just don't see the need lol


    Edit: The ring is important to me, all that really matters.
  • loserbaby84
    loserbaby84 Posts: 241 Member
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    I value marriage. It's important to me.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    It's up to the individual. My personal beliefs on marriage? It's not for the faint of heart. Even before I was married or in a serious relationship, I knew that marriage was something serious and not to be taken lightly. The consequences of divorce (especially if children are involved) was not something I was willing to risk if a relationship was not ideal.

    I will add that I am a Catholic and that plays a large part in my views.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    My husband and I have been together since my freshman year of high school. We had 2 kids. 2 years ago we finally decided to get married. Both of our parents had been divorced and we just didn't see the importance. After realize the money we'd save on insurance and taxes we decided it was best (and it did kind of always bother me that my last name was different than the girls). So basically we got married for logistical purposes. I didn't think a piece of paper would matter....but I can honestly say I have never felt closer to him than I do now and I really love that all of our last names are the same now. I think it was a good example to set for our kids as well.

    This is pretty much how it was/is for me and my Hubs too. We don't have kids but we were together for 11 years before we finally decided to get hitched. We've been fully committed to each other from the start but were both children of divorce and had plenty of friends who were into their 2nd marriages already (early 30's) so we had that whole "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mentality. We'd talked about it before but the reason we finally decided to do it (other than our love and devotion to each other) was to save money on certain expenses. Anyway, I also never realized how much of a difference it really made...I mean, we'd been living together for years, sharing expenses, had both our names on the mortgage, and of course the lovey dovey stuff too...but I feel like we have an even deeper bond now. Pretty cool!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    While I am not religious, I am a bit of a traditionalist, so I personally find it important from a traditional standpoint and a legal standpoint.

    However, I do not find it important in the context of committment. I think that it really changes nothing in a relationship, especially if you are already living together and have children. At that point you are only doing it for a piece of paper.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    only for tax reasons and health insurance. commitment is much more important and you don't necessarily need marriage for that.

    Marriage is commitment. Lack of marriage = lack of commitment.

    to a certain extent, maybe, but I still don't believe you need a marriage to prove commitment (especially not when the divorce rate is over 50%).
  • mxmkenney
    mxmkenney Posts: 486 Member
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    If you want to start a family, then marriage is important for establishing the family unit. It gives the children in the family more security and a sense of unity. But it is not to be taken lightly. The divorce rate is so high these days that unless you are a person with strong conviction about marriage in the first place, you probably shouldn't bother. Basically, don't do it because you're pressured into it or just because you have a kid together. Do it because you want to spend the rest of your life with that one person, and you will fight every day to make it work.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    I don't believe in god or all that crap so it's not for me but if it makes my future wife happy, then whateves, just an expensive party!

    Marriage pre-dates modern religion. It was first created as a sort of contract between men and women. The woman offered sexual exclusivity for the man to pass on his genetics and the man provided protection and food.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    While I am not religious, I am a bit of a traditionalist, so I personally find it important from a traditional standpoint and a legal standpoint.

    However, I do not find it important in the context of committment. I think that it really changes nothing in a relationship, especially if you are already living together and have children. At that point you are only doing it for a piece of paper.
    I don't know about that ...

    I've lived with someone for nearly nine years. We don't have kids together, but we both have kids. We're starting to talk marriage and it's kind of scary. We're definitely committed. It isn't just a piece of paper.

    But I don't think you can understand that until you live it because the idea didn't scare me until it started becoming reality.

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