Marriage - is it that important?

jefftprice

I have to respectfully disagree, when you get married you state in the vowes you are committing. If you choose not to after that then well that's a choice you made.

GeorgieLove708

And to be perfectly honest, excluding the legal stuff nothing changed in our relationship after getting married. If it weren't for the legal reasons I doubt we would be married now (still together, just not married).

I DO however feel that it is important for everybody to have the right to marry the person they love if it is something that is important to them.

quicklabs

In my life, it means "til death do us part." I honestly believe that "good times and bad", "better or worse" stuff in the marriage vows. Married 33 years.

jabarih

If you are in a relationship with someone and you are shacking with them, then I think it is important. Why not go ahead and finish the commitment?

However, marriage may not be for everyone. There are plenty of singles functioning in society happily today with no worries. To these singles, I wouldn't say marriage is that important.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I have to respectfully disagree, when you get married you state in the vowes you are committing. If you choose not to after that then well that's a choice you made.

People can write their own vows....

k8blujay2

As a Christian, it is to me and my family. I also feel that it is important for there to be a strong family unit for children to grow up. While I realize that the strength can manifest itself in many forms... I think for the majority of families, the strength comes from a unity of two people deeply committed to each other, not just in word but in all aspects of life. And in my opinion, that piece of paper is a public showing of that deep committment.

LosinItAll2012

While I am not religious, I am a bit of a traditionalist, so I personally find it important from a traditional standpoint and a legal standpoint.

However, I do not find it important in the context of committment. I think that it really changes nothing in a relationship, especially if you are already living together and have children. At that point you are only doing it for a piece of paper.

My opinion differs here...

My husband and I were together for 10 years before we got married...living together...sharing the money, bills..etc... At that time, I honestly believed that getting married would just be a piece of paper..that nothing would change about our relationship.

BUT....

After being married (for another 11 years), I feel that it has solidified our relationship. Making us closer. I can't say MORE committed...because we were both equally as committed living common law...but it is a different kind of committment. I take my vows seriously, and as a previous poster mentioned, without being married, maybe when times were tough, as they sometimes were, it would've been a little easier to just walk away.

Just my honest opinion... everyone is entitled...

kkzmom11

What do you mean? Is it important to get married if you love someone? Or is it important to make sure you get married even if you never meet the right person?

I'm married. Yes, it is very important and special. Does that mean I think everyone needs to be married? No, I don't think it's important for everyone nor do I think everyone thinks my marriage is important based on their thought process.

Marriage IS special and should always be viewed as that. Some other human being has made that vow to you which is very serious to me. Anytime another person vows to be with you for the rest of their life should be considered important. Doesn't mean everyone views it that same way, but that's just my opinion.

And I do know that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that would never be an option for me unless very specific things occured in the marriage to drive me to divorce.

AND I have been married 15 years and with the same man for 19 years.

I agree completely with the above. Marriage is special and important to ME. and my husband. I don't think everyone should be married, or even in a committed relationship because there are people that don't know what that means and mess around and cheat on their significant other. I take my marriage seriously and i wouldn't get divorced unless EVERY other option had been tried and failed.

GeorgieLove708

I have to respectfully disagree, when you get married you state in the vowes you are committing. If you choose not to after that then well that's a choice you made.

You can be committed without marriage and commitment being in the vows doesn't mean someone is actually committing. Especially given the ease with which one can get an annulment and relative ease with which one can get a divorce.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

In theory, yes. In practical application, it is basically a contract in which a man transfers wealth to woman (except in the rare case where the woman makes more).

So, for a guy, if you get REALLY lucky it can probably be great.

It's a contract in which a man and woman commit to making a life together, to sharing all things in order to work as a unit and move forward. And I don't know that finding the right partner can be considered "luck". It takes a lot of work and patience. We've always had joint accounts. "We" owe the vehicles, "we" own the house, our debts are joint as is our income. When I worked part time with the kids, and then later went back for a master's most of "our" money was "his". Right now I make more and when he retires probably 10 years before I do most of "our" money will be mine. We truly share everything and it works out well for the most part. Furthermore we are really happy together. We've had hard times but have come through it. We enjoy each other's company, we are proud of each other, we have great sex, awesome family time, great couple time, adequate and fulfilling alone time. It makes me sad when people are so bitter about marriage (and either men or women in general) because marriage can be great, and I like to believe that most people (men and women) are good.

Mamakatspokane

What do you mean? Is it important to get married if you love someone? Or is it important to make sure you get married even if you never meet the right person?

I'm married. Yes, it is very important and special. Does that mean I think everyone needs to be married? No, I don't think it's important for everyone nor do I think everyone thinks my marriage is important based on their thought process.

Marriage IS special and should always be viewed as that. Some other human being has made that vow to you which is very serious to me. Anytime another person vows to be with you for the rest of their life should be considered important. Doesn't mean everyone views it that same way, but that's just my opinion.

And I do know that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that would never be an option for me unless very specific things occured in the marriage to drive me to divorce.

AND I have been married 15 years and with the same man for 19 years.

This!

My two cents....It used to be important when people took the commitment & vows seriously. I believe anytime you give yourself an option (whether it's diet or marriage) to quit when things get hard you will do just that. Marriage is important to people who make it important. For me, it's important. Married 11 years been with the same man 15 years

whierd

While I am not religious, I am a bit of a traditionalist, so I personally find it important from a traditional standpoint and a legal standpoint.

However, I do not find it important in the context of committment. I think that it really changes nothing in a relationship, especially if you are already living together and have children. At that point you are only doing it for a piece of paper.

I don't know about that ...

I've lived with someone for nearly nine years. We don't have kids together, but we both have kids. We're starting to talk marriage and it's kind of scary. We're definitely committed. It isn't just a piece of paper.

But I don't think you can understand that until you live it because the idea didn't scare me until it started becoming reality.

Once you are married, you will feel and act exactly the same. You might feel happy and squishy on the inside a bit, but I rather doubt it will do anything, in and of itself, to enrich your relationship.

You can't know that, though. Unless you've been through it, you can't know that.

I'll let you know once I make it to "the other side."

And one person in here who was in a similar situation to mine has already said that isn't the case.

Everyone I have spoken to has told me it is no different. You will need to make sure to let me know! For science!

lisakay0x

If you like it than you shoulda put a ring on it.

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!

see_turtle

For me marriage is abosulutely important and awesome. It's an individual choice though, some people may not want to be married and that's fine.
My husband would have been happy being together and not making it "offical" but he went through the wedding and legal aspects becuase it was important to me.
I love us having the same last name!
Our first anniversary is Sunday.

hbrittingham

For my husband and me, marriage was making a lifetime commitment to each other. Have we had some bad times? You betcha! Would it have been easier to throw in the towel if we hadn't been married? I don't think so, even before we married, we co-mingled our income and bank accounts. The emotional attachment is there whether you are married or not, in my opinion. We've been together for 23 years, married for almost 22 years, we have a lot of history to fight for. Plus we share core values. He's my best friend and (yes) my soul mate.

As I said in a previous thread about marriage, when we first moved in together, he had recently moved down to my state from NY where he had been in an on and off 5-6 year live-in relationship. I had just separated from my ex (horrible marriage) after 4 1/2 years of marriage. I told him that if we were still just living together after 3 years, let's just go our separate ways. I wasn't going to be the live-in girlfriend indefinitely. I wanted a real marriage with someone who I not only loved, but who I genuinely liked.

highervibes

In my 20's I thought marriage was improtant. Now that I'm in my 30's it is way less important. If I could re-do my wedding it would be a pig roast in my backyard vs the debocle that it was.

TheRealParisLove

Marriage is the recognition of another individual as a family member. Your spouse cannot be compelled to testify against you in a court of law, and is allowed to make decisions on your behalf if you are unable to speak for yourself.

Of course there are lots and lots of legal benefits of getting married, there are also biological benefits. Married people live longer than singles. Married people suffer less stress, catch cancer earlier (better chance of cure) and are more likely to seek medical help in the case of illness.

There are, of course, financial advantages to being married. A two income household has the ability to earn more than a single person can. Also, married people tend to earn more over their lifetimes than single people. Married men's salaries are higher than single men's salaries for the same work.

Married men have professional advantages over single men. They are more likely to be hired over a single candidate with the same qualifications. Married men are also more likely to be promoted before a single man is promoted.

Society holds married couples in higher esteem than their single counter-parts.

So yes, marriage is pretty important even though the taboo of single parenthood is pretty much gone.

lporter229

While I am not religious, I am a bit of a traditionalist, so I personally find it important from a traditional standpoint and a legal standpoint.

However, I do not find it important in the context of committment. I think that it really changes nothing in a relationship, especially if you are already living together and have children. At that point you are only doing it for a piece of paper.

I don't know about that ...

I've lived with someone for nearly nine years. We don't have kids together, but we both have kids. We're starting to talk marriage and it's kind of scary. We're definitely committed. It isn't just a piece of paper.

But I don't think you can understand that until you live it because the idea didn't scare me until it started becoming reality.

Once you are married, you will feel and act exactly the same. You might feel happy and squishy on the inside a bit, but I rather doubt it will do anything, in and of itself, to enrich your relationship.

just curious, are you married?

mdhummel

My husband and I dated for seven years before we got engaged. Besides changing my last name and putting a sparkly diamond on my finger nothing has changed, but it was nice to make things official.

I'm just glad we didn't go crazy and throw a $20,000 bash. We kept things simple and spent $7,000. Since we kept the costs down our generous parents covered the rehearsal dinner, reception and honeymoon.

hannahpistolas

Marriage matters very little to me. It's a piece of paper with an overpriced ceremony involved.

I'd rather be a good mom than ever be in a relationship again, actually.