Skipping Thanksgiving

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  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    hubby and I usually go out to eat. My adult kids had so many places to go so we let them off the hook and said we would just get together Christmas. Now I kind of enjoy it. No cooking, no leftovers. Sometimes my son comes up and if he does we go out to eat. If he wants to fine, if not fine. More relaxing this way. I agree, all those leftovers is too tempting, give them away or freeze them if you don't go out! We don't have those big thanksgiving meals like on tv, I see others don't either, we have a small family.
  • lngrunert
    lngrunert Posts: 204 Member
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    I live 800 miles from my family, and 600 from my in-laws. Thanksgiving dinner is usually me making a fairly massive feast for me, my husband and daughter. It is freaking bliss! I get to spend the day doing something I love (cooking) for the two most important people in my life. I'm an only child and have never cared much for large family get-togethers, so I'm glad there's no pressure for us to attend one.
  • kkerri
    kkerri Posts: 276 Member
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    Family holiday meals are my favorite times of the year. Cherish these times while you still have your family to attend these events.

    Agree. I am praying for two to be out of the hospital. Food has little to do with it.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    I just don't know how to get my point across to my highly sentimental relatives that I'm just not all that into stuffing my face this year. Food = Love in my family.

    Nightmare scenario. Yes, I think a bout of the flu is the answer to this one. :wink:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,124 Member
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    Love doesn't ask you to do things you are uncomfortable with doing. Maybe rethink your definition.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    Love doesn't ask you to do things you are uncomfortable with doing. Maybe rethink your definition.

    Nail on head. Love is acceptance - not food.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    My family always gets together for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and at a few random times throughout the year for BBQs or parties. We lost one of my brothers earlier this month, very suddenly, just a few months after a cancer diagnosis. I'm so grateful for all the times we got to spend together, but it was never enough.
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Be grateful that you have family close enough to see. Isn't that what Thanksgiving is about? Being thankful for all you have?

    I would give anything to see my family over the holidays, but they're states away.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    I get to work 18 hours on Thanksgiving. Hope you enjoy your "quiet evening at home." :flowerforyou:
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    So, how do I just say, "I'd really like to just have a quiet time at home, alone on Thanksgiving." I think that sounds amazing! I'd love nothing more than to curl up in front of my fireplace with a book and just relax that day.

    Staying away from the crazy, calorie laden foods of the day is just a bonus. I'm not in the least bit sentimental, and I don't attach emotions to food.

    I just don't know how to get my point across to my highly sentimental relatives that I'm just not all that into stuffing my face this year. Food = Love in my family.

    Maybe I'll just come down with the "flu" or something. :ohwell:

    As a young family, we used to steal away for less important holidays like Old Year's Night, and even Thanksgiving so that we could enjoy ONE holiday at home just US & our pups.

    We lied. I told my mom we were going out to his mother's house and we told his mom we were going out to my mother's house. Shrug. It worked well & the children didn't give us away as they enjoyed not having to be paraded around at all the different houses visiting :laugh:

    It's different now that we're older (in our 40's) & the kids are now 17 and 24 yrs old respectively, but only because we have a small family run pet sitting business and the holidays are our busy season. We divide up our house calls & then meet at my mom's house when it's all over :drinker:
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Be more assertive and direct and tell them what your plans are. Don't say, "Wellll, I think I'm just gonna stay in this Thanksgiving." Say, "I'm staying in this Thanksgiving and I will call you guys at XXXXX."
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    Oh, my family loves clam dip and that's pretty calorie laden but it's more a snack while cooking.

    I kept the clam dip and ditched the potato chips. Carrots, celery, & bell pepper strips ALL are a huge improvement over chips.:wink:
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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    Seriously? Just go eat some food, yo.

    Stuff like this is what makes all of your families sit you down and say that you don't need to lose anymore weight. Its not your actual size, its your messed up attitudes towards food. Its being so scared of food that you will skip an entire holiday so you aren't faced with the horrible prospect of pie. Not someone force-feeding you pie, just being in the same room with pie.

    However, if you want to skip the holiday because your family is crazy and its stressful, well, join the club. We meet at the bar.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I say do what you need to do for yourself.

    Personally, I like Thanksgiving. I enjoy cooking and baking stuff we don't normally have and I love formally sitting around the table and just having the chance to relax and visit. It's so much fun.
  • CamillaHerold
    CamillaHerold Posts: 60 Member
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    I think the explanation here is in the phrase "love=food"... so in this family affection is expressed by feeding others, and by eating what others want to feed you. Its an agreement between everyone to overeat in order to show affection, possibly a way to avoid showing affection in more appropriate ways like talking, hugging, playing games, walking, laughing...
    This is sad, but even sadder are all the comments urging the OP to lie. Lies just lead to more lies. Gets you used to lying, and the next thing you know, you are lying to yourself just as easily as you lie to others. So you eat too much and tell yourself you won't get fat. Hmmm...
    The OP is not going to undo "love=food" by any single personal act of defiance, because the whole family is taking part in the codependent overeating and will pull together against her. So its probably best to go to Thanksgiving, enjoy the family on whatever level she can, and deflect all attempts to make her feel guilty. I seriously doubt she is up for a total family intervention. Not every family is perfect, not every holiday is great, so you just do the best you can with what you have at the time. Keep your dignity.
  • Ralphone
    Ralphone Posts: 1,854 Member
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    just get on treadmill mon tue and wed day and run like hell and eat what u want on thursday happy turkey day
  • ripemango
    ripemango Posts: 534 Member
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    Honestly I get it.

    One of my favorite T-days was yrs ago when DH and I were just dating. We wanted a day just to ourselves. We told my family were were going to his and his family we were going to mine.My man and I had wine, roasted butternut squash, cornbread dressing ...that's all I remember although there was probably more.

    It was just such an intimate meal experience and I still think of it quite fondly :)
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Stuff like this is what makes all of your families sit you down and say that you don't need to lose anymore weight.
    :laugh: True.
    Be grateful that you have family close enough to see. Isn't that what Thanksgiving is about? Being thankful for all you have?

    I would give anything to see my family over the holidays, but they're states away.
    She doesn't owe anything to her relatives. She's allowed to spend the holiday by herself. Just bc you don't have family doesn't mean that everyone else has to spend time w theirs. :angry:
    You could just eat the food and get over it. How on earth is one day going to ruin you?
    OP, DON'T GO!!! This is what you'll have to put up w the entire time. She doesn't want to eat any fattening Thanksgiving Day food. She obviously doesn't trust herself to eat just one "normal" serving. Why are y'all trying to force her to go? :laugh:

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