Why is there SO MUCH negativity here?!
Replies
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I'm new here and I've only been looking through these forums for the past week; however, I agree with SarahMakePretty to an extent. From my experience, there is more of a general "rude" undertone here than other weight-loss/health forums I have come across. Whilst I am not saying that everyone here is rude (in fact there are lots of people who are encouraging and helpful here), I feel that the snarkiness comes through much more in MFP than other forums (e.g., 3FC).
Whilst it is not helpful or right to commend someone on habits that are not necessarily healthy, such as eating below 1000 calories, there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and making flat out judgements based on a paragraph of text. For example, to call out on someone that they're an attention seeker when they're ranting that they've binged on 3 spoons of icecream is not being "honest" or "blunt" - it's rude. If they consider that to be a binge, don't demean them for it because their definition of binging is different from yours. (FYI, I don't consider that binging but I digress.)
A part of being a supportive community is not only to offer (sound) advice, but also to show empathy and tolerance. Certainly people are entitled to their own beliefs and to disagree with others, but again there's a fine line between having a reasonable discussion and dismissing someone's POV. Also, everyone here is at different stages in their weight-loss/health journey - in terms of motivation, determination, support, etc. - and it's worth being mindful of that. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
SarahMakePretty, it may be worth being involved in other forums if you find MFP to be too negative. Ignoring helps too.
Most of the people who are considered "rude" on here are regular members that are on here everyday. I fully admit that I am snarky and rude sometimes. But it is always in response to something asinine. Us "rude" people are also the ones that spend our time reading nutrition articles and research papers, then applying them by sharing them with less informed people on the forums. We are also the ones in the gym getting stronger and fitter.
So for those that think there is so much negativity around here, have you ever helped anyone on here? Have you taken the time to run TDEE calcs for another person and answer their nutrition questions in private? No? I bet most of the rude people have.
To answer your question: I've only been here for less than a week, so no. I'm still at the very early stages of my journey, so I don't consider myself well-equipped to give others advice just yet.
You also stated that you have been a part of other health/fitness forums. Was that part incorrect?0 -
My experience on forums has been that when I see negativity in others, I am often mistaken and am merely reading my own feelings into someone else. SOmetimes, I have resisted answering, waited a day or two, and reread the post. Almost every single time, I see things differently. Then, I feel ready to answer.0
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I think the problem stems from too much pseudoscience, and a lot of people trying to push said pseudoscience as fact onto others as well as people who seriously believe this stuff and dont take time to do some research and educate themselves.
And like anything on the internet, theres always an *kitten* or two waiting to post.0 -
My experience on forums has been that when I see negativity in others, I am often mistaken and am merely reading my own feelings into someone else. SOmetimes, I have resisted answering, waited a day or two, and reread the post. Almost every single time, I see things differently. Then, I feel ready to answer.
thats true0 -
Define negativity.
To some, having something honestly explained to them, which differs from their own ideas, is negative.
To some, if you don't agree 100% with their assessment, it's negative.
To some, if you continue to post the same, "Why isn't this working?" posts, but don't want to hear actual useful advice, it's negative.
To some, a thigh gap, is negative.
To some, having a little fun and not taking this whole diet and exercise thing as serious as they make it out to be, is negative.
To some, Christmas, is negative. (As are all holidays, social gatherings, family gatherings, co-workers bringing in cupcakes and brownies, being invited to a restaurant to lunch, buffets, fast food in general, and life in general.)
Basically, one person's definition of the word negative doesn't exactly define the word for everyone. That's just the way it is. It all boils down to perspective.
All is Perception, All Is Vanity
okay that picture is awesome!0 -
I'm new here and I've only been looking through these forums for the past week; however, I agree with SarahMakePretty to an extent. From my experience, there is more of a general "rude" undertone here than other weight-loss/health forums I have come across. Whilst I am not saying that everyone here is rude (in fact there are lots of people who are encouraging and helpful here), I feel that the snarkiness comes through much more in MFP than other forums (e.g., 3FC).
Whilst it is not helpful or right to commend someone on habits that are not necessarily healthy, such as eating below 1000 calories, there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and making flat out judgements based on a paragraph of text. For example, to call out on someone that they're an attention seeker when they're ranting that they've binged on 3 spoons of icecream is not being "honest" or "blunt" - it's rude. If they consider that to be a binge, don't demean them for it because their definition of binging is different from yours. (FYI, I don't consider that binging but I digress.)
A part of being a supportive community is not only to offer (sound) advice, but also to show empathy and tolerance. Certainly people are entitled to their own beliefs and to disagree with others, but again there's a fine line between having a reasonable discussion and dismissing someone's POV. Also, everyone here is at different stages in their weight-loss/health journey - in terms of motivation, determination, support, etc. - and it's worth being mindful of that. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
SarahMakePretty, it may be worth being involved in other forums if you find MFP to be too negative. Ignoring helps too.
Most of the people who are considered "rude" on here are regular members that are on here everyday. I fully admit that I am snarky and rude sometimes. But it is always in response to something asinine. Us "rude" people are also the ones that spend our time reading nutrition articles and research papers, then applying them by sharing them with less informed people on the forums. We are also the ones in the gym getting stronger and fitter.
So for those that think there is so much negativity around here, have you ever helped anyone on here? Have you taken the time to run TDEE calcs for another person and answer their nutrition questions in private? No? I bet most of the rude people have.
To answer your question: I've only been here for less than a week, so no. I'm still at the very early stages of my journey, so I don't consider myself well-equipped to give others advice just yet.
You also stated that you have been a part of other health/fitness forums. Was that part incorrect?
I understand and respect where you are coming from. No it's not incorrect; I did say that. However, the point is that I've only just started on my weight-loss journey, where this time differs from others in that I've not resorted to "fad diets" and the like. Currently I don't consider myself knowledgeable (nor is it wise) to offer people advice given my current state of health.0 -
Am I the only who notices that the people who start these "everyone is so negative" threads have never spent any of their own time and effort providing people with helpful or useful information?
^this0 -
because they r horny and need some sex in their life.
You know what this is the answer...right here hit the ol' nail on the head.
If I was getting the bajoinga all the time would I be on MFP all the time? H_LL to the Mother f'en No I'd be doing the vertical mambo.
You are truly wise.0 -
All is Perception, All Is Vanity
thats a deliciously fabulous picture0 -
I'm new here and I've only been looking through these forums for the past week; however, I agree with SarahMakePretty to an extent. From my experience, there is more of a general "rude" undertone here than other weight-loss/health forums I have come across. Whilst I am not saying that everyone here is rude (in fact there are lots of people who are encouraging and helpful here), I feel that the snarkiness comes through much more in MFP than other forums (e.g., 3FC).
Whilst it is not helpful or right to commend someone on habits that are not necessarily healthy, such as eating below 1000 calories, there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and making flat out judgements based on a paragraph of text. For example, to call out on someone that they're an attention seeker when they're ranting that they've binged on 3 spoons of icecream is not being "honest" or "blunt" - it's rude. If they consider that to be a binge, don't demean them for it because their definition of binging is different from yours. (FYI, I don't consider that binging but I digress.)
A part of being a supportive community is not only to offer (sound) advice, but also to show empathy and tolerance. Certainly people are entitled to their own beliefs and to disagree with others, but again there's a fine line between having a reasonable discussion and dismissing someone's POV. Also, everyone here is at different stages in their weight-loss/health journey - in terms of motivation, determination, support, etc. - and it's worth being mindful of that. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
SarahMakePretty, it may be worth being involved in other forums if you find MFP to be too negative. Ignoring helps too.
Most of the people who are considered "rude" on here are regular members that are on here everyday. I fully admit that I am snarky and rude sometimes. But it is always in response to something asinine. Us "rude" people are also the ones that spend our time reading nutrition articles and research papers, then applying them by sharing them with less informed people on the forums. We are also the ones in the gym getting stronger and fitter.
So for those that think there is so much negativity around here, have you ever helped anyone on here? Have you taken the time to run TDEE calcs for another person and answer their nutrition questions in private? No? I bet most of the rude people have.
To answer your question: I've only been here for less than a week, so no. I'm still at the very early stages of my journey, so I don't consider myself well-equipped to give others advice just yet.
You also stated that you have been a part of other health/fitness forums. Was that part incorrect?
I understand and respect where you are coming from. No it's not incorrect; I did say that. However, the point is that I've only just started on my weight-loss journey, where this time differs from others in that I've not resorted to "fad diets" and the like. Currently I don't consider myself knowledgeable (nor is it wise) to offer people advice given my current state of health.
Your state of health is largely irrelevent. To me, at least. You do not have to live a lifestyle in order to understand it or share information regarding it. Many of the people giving advice on here are in transition.0 -
Les MFPerables
There was a time when posters were kind
When their tone was soft
And their words encouraging
There was a time when cardio was fine
And MFP was a song
And MFP friends were inviting
Then it all…went…wrong
I dreamed a dream in bandwidth gone by
When motivation was high
And logging on worth doing
I dreamed the MFP site would never die
I dreamed the Mods would be forgiving
Then I was a noob and unafraid
And strikes were made and used and wasted
There was no reason to be made
No post untrolled
No joke unwasted
But the bullies come at night
With their mean words soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And turn your gurney to shame
MFP filled my days with endless distraction
It took my productivity in real life
But it was gone when I deactivate
And still I dream I’ll recreate
That we’ll live our days online
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are threads we cannot weather
I had a dream my MFP experience would be
So different from this hell I’m logging
So different now from what it seemed
Now your thread has killed
The dream I dreamed
Stop it, you brilliant *kitten*!0 -
Person 1: "Waahhh... why do ppl have to be *kitten*?"
Person A: "GRRRR... if you had to deal with dumb, you'd be an *kitten* too"
Person 2: "suck it up buttercup"
Person b: "it's not mean, it's honest"
Meanwhile, every single one of these types is being a sensitive sally. :laugh:0 -
I'm new here and I've only been looking through these forums for the past week; however, I agree with SarahMakePretty to an extent. From my experience, there is more of a general "rude" undertone here than other weight-loss/health forums I have come across. Whilst I am not saying that everyone here is rude (in fact there are lots of people who are encouraging and helpful here), I feel that the snarkiness comes through much more in MFP than other forums (e.g., 3FC).
Whilst it is not helpful or right to commend someone on habits that are not necessarily healthy, such as eating below 1000 calories, there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and making flat out judgements based on a paragraph of text. For example, to call out on someone that they're an attention seeker when they're ranting that they've binged on 3 spoons of icecream is not being "honest" or "blunt" - it's rude. If they consider that to be a binge, don't demean them for it because their definition of binging is different from yours. (FYI, I don't consider that binging but I digress.)
A part of being a supportive community is not only to offer (sound) advice, but also to show empathy and tolerance. Certainly people are entitled to their own beliefs and to disagree with others, but again there's a fine line between having a reasonable discussion and dismissing someone's POV. Also, everyone here is at different stages in their weight-loss/health journey - in terms of motivation, determination, support, etc. - and it's worth being mindful of that. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
SarahMakePretty, it may be worth being involved in other forums if you find MFP to be too negative. Ignoring helps too.
Most of the people who are considered "rude" on here are regular members that are on here everyday. I fully admit that I am snarky and rude sometimes. But it is always in response to something asinine. Us "rude" people are also the ones that spend our time reading nutrition articles and research papers, then applying them by sharing them with less informed people on the forums. We are also the ones in the gym getting stronger and fitter.
So for those that think there is so much negativity around here, have you ever helped anyone on here? Have you taken the time to run TDEE calcs for another person and answer their nutrition questions in private? No? I bet most of the rude people have.
To answer your question: I've only been here for less than a week, so no. I'm still at the very early stages of my journey, so I don't consider myself well-equipped to give others advice just yet.
You also stated that you have been a part of other health/fitness forums. Was that part incorrect?
I understand and respect where you are coming from. No it's not incorrect; I did say that. However, the point is that I've only just started on my weight-loss journey, where this time differs from others in that I've not resorted to "fad diets" and the like. Currently I don't consider myself knowledgeable (nor is it wise) to offer people advice given my current state of health.
You mean, not to "offer people advice on nutrition or weight loss", right? But you obviously have no qualms about giving advice on how people should interact in the forums, right?0 -
Sometimes 'mean' is as nice as some of us can be when someone needs either solicited or unsolicited guidance. It's the internet...if I feel someone is doing or saying something idiotic I do not feel the same obligation to sugar coat it that I would in person. Grow a thicker skin or don't post. Simple.0
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I'm new here and I've only been looking through these forums for the past week; however, I agree with SarahMakePretty to an extent. From my experience, there is more of a general "rude" undertone here than other weight-loss/health forums I have come across. Whilst I am not saying that everyone here is rude (in fact there are lots of people who are encouraging and helpful here), I feel that the snarkiness comes through much more in MFP than other forums (e.g., 3FC).
Whilst it is not helpful or right to commend someone on habits that are not necessarily healthy, such as eating below 1000 calories, there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and making flat out judgements based on a paragraph of text. For example, to call out on someone that they're an attention seeker when they're ranting that they've binged on 3 spoons of icecream is not being "honest" or "blunt" - it's rude. If they consider that to be a binge, don't demean them for it because their definition of binging is different from yours. (FYI, I don't consider that binging but I digress.)
A part of being a supportive community is not only to offer (sound) advice, but also to show empathy and tolerance. Certainly people are entitled to their own beliefs and to disagree with others, but again there's a fine line between having a reasonable discussion and dismissing someone's POV. Also, everyone here is at different stages in their weight-loss/health journey - in terms of motivation, determination, support, etc. - and it's worth being mindful of that. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
SarahMakePretty, it may be worth being involved in other forums if you find MFP to be too negative. Ignoring helps too.
Most of the people who are considered "rude" on here are regular members that are on here everyday. I fully admit that I am snarky and rude sometimes. But it is always in response to something asinine. Us "rude" people are also the ones that spend our time reading nutrition articles and research papers, then applying them by sharing them with less informed people on the forums. We are also the ones in the gym getting stronger and fitter.
So for those that think there is so much negativity around here, have you ever helped anyone on here? Have you taken the time to run TDEE calcs for another person and answer their nutrition questions in private? No? I bet most of the rude people have.
To answer your question: I've only been here for less than a week, so no. I'm still at the very early stages of my journey, so I don't consider myself well-equipped to give others advice just yet.
You also stated that you have been a part of other health/fitness forums. Was that part incorrect?
I understand and respect where you are coming from. No it's not incorrect; I did say that. However, the point is that I've only just started on my weight-loss journey, where this time differs from others in that I've not resorted to "fad diets" and the like. Currently I don't consider myself knowledgeable (nor is it wise) to offer people advice given my current state of health.
Your state of health is largely irrelevent. To me, at least. You do not have to live a lifestyle in order to understand it or share information regarding it. Many of the people giving advice on here are in transition.
Well, I'm glad to hear that Reality_Is_Harsh; however, I'm not really one to offer advice over things I don't have a real grasp on just yet. Anyway, I suppose we will have to agree to disagree. Back to the topic, my original post was merely my impression of what I've observed. Of course this will differ to your experience and many other people's, and that's fine. Each to their own. 0 -
I'm new here and I've only been looking through these forums for the past week; however, I agree with SarahMakePretty to an extent. From my experience, there is more of a general "rude" undertone here than other weight-loss/health forums I have come across. Whilst I am not saying that everyone here is rude (in fact there are lots of people who are encouraging and helpful here), I feel that the snarkiness comes through much more in MFP than other forums (e.g., 3FC).
Whilst it is not helpful or right to commend someone on habits that are not necessarily healthy, such as eating below 1000 calories, there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and making flat out judgements based on a paragraph of text. For example, to call out on someone that they're an attention seeker when they're ranting that they've binged on 3 spoons of icecream is not being "honest" or "blunt" - it's rude. If they consider that to be a binge, don't demean them for it because their definition of binging is different from yours. (FYI, I don't consider that binging but I digress.)
A part of being a supportive community is not only to offer (sound) advice, but also to show empathy and tolerance. Certainly people are entitled to their own beliefs and to disagree with others, but again there's a fine line between having a reasonable discussion and dismissing someone's POV. Also, everyone here is at different stages in their weight-loss/health journey - in terms of motivation, determination, support, etc. - and it's worth being mindful of that. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
SarahMakePretty, it may be worth being involved in other forums if you find MFP to be too negative. Ignoring helps too.
Most of the people who are considered "rude" on here are regular members that are on here everyday. I fully admit that I am snarky and rude sometimes. But it is always in response to something asinine. Us "rude" people are also the ones that spend our time reading nutrition articles and research papers, then applying them by sharing them with less informed people on the forums. We are also the ones in the gym getting stronger and fitter.
So for those that think there is so much negativity around here, have you ever helped anyone on here? Have you taken the time to run TDEE calcs for another person and answer their nutrition questions in private? No? I bet most of the rude people have.
To answer your question: I've only been here for less than a week, so no. I'm still at the very early stages of my journey, so I don't consider myself well-equipped to give others advice just yet.
You also stated that you have been a part of other health/fitness forums. Was that part incorrect?
I understand and respect where you are coming from. No it's not incorrect; I did say that. However, the point is that I've only just started on my weight-loss journey, where this time differs from others in that I've not resorted to "fad diets" and the like. Currently I don't consider myself knowledgeable (nor is it wise) to offer people advice given my current state of health.
You mean, not to "offer people advice on nutrition or weight loss", right? But you obviously have no qualms about giving advice on how people should interact in the forums, right?
Yes, they're two different areas. I don't consider it advice, but rather options.0 -
Les MFPerables
There was a time when posters were kind
When their tone was soft
And their words encouraging
There was a time when cardio was fine
And MFP was a song
And MFP friends were inviting
Then it all…went…wrong
I dreamed a dream in bandwidth gone by
When motivation was high
And logging on worth doing
I dreamed the MFP site would never die
I dreamed the Mods would be forgiving
Then I was a noob and unafraid
And strikes were made and used and wasted
There was no reason to be made
No post untrolled
No joke unwasted
But the bullies come at night
With their mean words soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And turn your gurney to shame
MFP filled my days with endless distraction
It took my productivity in real life
But it was gone when I deactivate
And still I dream I’ll recreate
That we’ll live our days online
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are threads we cannot weather
I had a dream my MFP experience would be
So different from this hell I’m logging
So different now from what it seemed
Now your thread has killed
The dream I dreamed
Stop it, you brilliant *kitten*!
omg that is too funny!!!0 -
negative post is negative.0
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All is Perception, All Is Vanity
thats a deliciously fabulous picture
So Imma highjack this puppy.
I worked at TGI Fridays for a whole lotta years. Upstairs in the above-the-bar party area, this picture was on the wall near the Point of Sale machines. I must have looked at it eleventy seven million times. I always liked it. Was glad I found it online.0 -
The last time we went to TGI Friday's was over 13 years ago. My wife's drink had broken glass in it. We brought it to the attention of our waitress and she was all "so, what? Do you want another one or something?"
"Yes. Please."
When we got the bill they had charged us for the drink she sent back. The one with the broken glass in it. I took it up with the manager who was RUDE AND A BULLY (see, relevant to this thread). After some harsh words during which I stood up and told him he was ridiculous he finally removed the broken glass drink from our bill.
I did NOT tip that waitress. Because NEGATIVITY!!!!0 -
The last time we went to TGI Friday's was over 13 years ago. My wife's drink had broken glass in it. We brought it to the attention of our waitress and she was all "so, what? Do you want another one or something?"
"Yes. Please."
When we got the bill they had charged us for the drink she sent back. The one with the broken glass in it. I took it up with the manager who was RUDE AND A BULLY (see, relevant to this thread). After some harsh words during which I stood up and told him he was ridiculous he finally removed the broken glass drink from our bill.
I did NOT tip that waitress. Because NEGATIVITY!!!!
You're right. That was very negative of you. Did the broken glass in the drink KILL YOU?!? Of course not. Just drink through a straw.0 -
The last time we went to TGI Friday's was over 13 years ago. My wife's drink had broken glass in it. We brought it to the attention of our waitress and she was all "so, what? Do you want another one or something?"
"Yes. Please."
When we got the bill they had charged us for the drink she sent back. The one with the broken glass in it. I took it up with the manager who was RUDE AND A BULLY (see, relevant to this thread). After some harsh words during which I stood up and told him he was ridiculous he finally removed the broken glass drink from our bill.
I did NOT tip that waitress. Because NEGATIVITY!!!!
Some people are really picky.0 -
The last time we went to TGI Friday's was over 13 years ago. My wife's drink had broken glass in it. We brought it to the attention of our waitress and she was all "so, what? Do you want another one or something?"
"Yes. Please."
When we got the bill they had charged us for the drink she sent back. The one with the broken glass in it. I took it up with the manager who was RUDE AND A BULLY (see, relevant to this thread). After some harsh words during which I stood up and told him he was ridiculous he finally removed the broken glass drink from our bill.
I did NOT tip that waitress. Because NEGATIVITY!!!!
Couldn't you have just focused on the things she was doing right?
Regardless, you certainly could have phrased your response to be much nicer.0 -
Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!
WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!
Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it!0 -
I usually see the same 20 people criticizing others. There are a few who are just hilarious. If you're on the forums a lot, you'll know whose comments to completely ignore.0
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Cause opinions are like *kitten*, everyone's got one.
0 -
Am I the only who notices that the people who start these "everyone is so negative" threads have never spent any of their own time and effort providing people with helpful or useful information?
^this
Ditto0 -
I usually see the same 20 people criticizing others. There are a few who are just hilarious. If you're on the forums a lot, you'll know whose comments to completely ignore.
I don't. I'm going to need a list for all 3, the 20 criticizing, the hilarious and those to ignore.0 -
and the ALL stink!Cause opinions are like *kitten*, everyone's got one.0 -
Seriously...I turn into a major crab when on a diet. As many people on the board are also. That really should explain a lot.0
This discussion has been closed.
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