Why is there SO MUCH negativity here?!
Replies
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Sugarcoating is fattening. They are being nice by saving you those calories.
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There will always be negativity, just like in RL. This place is no different than any other forum. I try to read posts without giving it a personality. They are just words. Take the advice you feel will help you and leave the rest behind. You can also put people on ignore and you won't have to see it all.
This!0 -
Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!
WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!
I absolutely agree! Although I do believe that people are entitled to their own opinions, like you said, this is a place of support-- and they should respect the process in which that person has made to get where they are-- REGARDLESS of what it is.
For example, I'm vegetarian (soon to alter into vegan). Although some would say that I should be incorporating more meat in order to gain muscle, or have dairy in order to gain calcium, that is their opinion. Of course they're entitled to it, and of course I can't change their minds-- but that's exactly it. They're opinion! Also, on the other side of the spectrum, I have no right to critique others about their food decisions. It's their right to eat that way. So, in short: I think we can all benefit from a little respect, regardless of who we are.
Also-- being on the internet is no excuse to be rude, and claiming that this is a "community so you should just suck it up because it's like this in real life" is no excuse to not change something in a positive light. This place is for support and encouragement. Of course critique is welcome, but be constructive about it too!0 -
they HANGRY
^Can I get an AMEN? LOL :laugh:
Psh I get called mean and trust me I am not Hangry...or hungry...I eat more then 1200 calories a day....
Try giving advice to this sort of poster and see how "blunt" you get.
Poster: Help I am not losing weight, I swear I track everything.....
Advice: Do you use a kitchen scale? How do you track your Calories expended? HRM with Chest strap?
Poster: no I don't use a scale I am good at guesstimating my portions, I use the machines to calculate burns or MFP has that built in.
Advice: Use a kitchen scale, and use a HRM for steady state cardio oh and the MFP burns are typically over what they really are.
Poster: Oh but I know I burn 800 calories doing Zumba I know it.
Advice: If you are not losing weight you are either over estimating burns or under estimating intake as previously stated use a HRM and kitchen scale. And I see that there are days where you haven't logged and you are using quick calorie adds. You need to get real with yourself.
Poster: Meany why you calling me a liar.
One month Later
Original Poster: I am not losing weight and I am down to 1200 gross calories nothing is working I am so upset
Advice: See advice from last month
OP: No I didn't like it I want different advice
Advice: sigh....really? Just try it and see what happens
Advice 2: You are doing great don't listen to the meanies here just keep it up you will be okay
OP: I love you advice 2 I will follow what you said, want to be friends?
again they post last Help I am not losing weight? Then perhaps they are ready to take the "mean" blunt advice and start losing weight then you get "Thanks to the mena people of MFP" post saying gosh I wish I had listened to you 6 months ago or they give up thinking they are that special snowflake that just can't lose weight because their metabolism is broken or slow until they get to the point again where they can't take it anymore and start the viscious cycle again.0 -
For what it's worth I totally agree with you! What works for one doesn't work for all.
actually no.
Unless you have a medical condition that makes it more difficult or makes it so you have to eat in a certian way a reasonable calorie deficet works for all, even those who have a medical condition that makes it difficult a "reasonable" calorie deficet works0 -
Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!
WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!
I absolutely agree! Although I do believe that people are entitled to their own opinions, like you said, this is a place of support-- and they should respect the process in which that person has made to get where they are-- REGARDLESS of what it is.
For example, I'm vegetarian (soon to alter into vegan). Although some would say that I should be incorporating more meat in order to gain muscle, or have dairy in order to gain calcium, that is their opinion. Of course they're entitled to it, and of course I can't change their minds-- but that's exactly it. They're opinion! Also, on the other side of the spectrum, I have no right to critique others about their food decisions. It's their right to eat that way. So, in short: I think we can all benefit from a little respect, regardless of who we are.
Also-- being on the internet is no excuse to be rude, and claiming that this is a "community so you should just suck it up because it's like this in real life" is no excuse to not change something in a positive light. This place is for support and encouragement. Of course critique is welcome, but be constructive about it too!
:huh: Which is it?
Also, why do you get to decide when someone has a right to post? There are just as many people here who believe that debate is healthy and critique is a good thing. So why does your "side" get to dictate?0 -
I say if someone posts openly on the boards, critique is going to happen and if you don't want it, don't post.Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!
WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!
I absolutely agree! Although I do believe that people are entitled to their own opinions, like you said, this is a place of support-- and they should respect the process in which that person has made to get where they are-- REGARDLESS of what it is.
For example, I'm vegetarian (soon to alter into vegan). Although some would say that I should be incorporating more meat in order to gain muscle, or have dairy in order to gain calcium, that is their opinion. Of course they're entitled to it, and of course I can't change their minds-- but that's exactly it. They're opinion! Also, on the other side of the spectrum, I have no right to critique others about their food decisions. It's their right to eat that way. So, in short: I think we can all benefit from a little respect, regardless of who we are.
Also-- being on the internet is no excuse to be rude, and claiming that this is a "community so you should just suck it up because it's like this in real life" is no excuse to not change something in a positive light. This place is for support and encouragement. Of course critique is welcome, but be constructive about it too!
:huh: Which is it?
Also, why do you get to decide when someone has a right to post? There are just as many people here who believe that debate is healthy and critique is a good thing. So why does your "side" get to dictate?
I don't think people should randomly go into others' diaries and send unsolicited advice. But if someone's posting, that person is asking. If that person doesn't like the answers, that person can ignore the advice. But telling people whoh are tryin to be helpful that they're mean and rude is actually rude.0 -
Why is there so much negativity? Every one here is deprived of Sugar, Calories, or Sex. I think that pretty much explains it.0
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Les MFPerables
There was a time when posters were kind
When their tone was soft
And their words encouraging
There was a time when cardio was fine
And MFP was a song
And MFP friends were inviting
Then it all…went…wrong
I dreamed a dream in bandwidth gone by
When motivation was high
And logging on worth doing
I dreamed the MFP site would never die
I dreamed the Mods would be forgiving
Then I was a noob and unafraid
And strikes were made and used and wasted
There was no reason to be made
No post untrolled
No joke unwasted
But the bullies come at night
With their mean words soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And turn your gurney to shame
MFP filled my days with endless distraction
It took my productivity in real life
But it was gone when I deactivate
And still I dream I’ll recreate
That we’ll live our days online
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are threads we cannot weather
I had a dream my MFP experience would be
So different from this hell I’m logging
So different now from what it seemed
Now your thread has killed
The dream I dreamed
You're my hero. :flowerforyou:
I think I might be in Bro love0 -
I say if someone posts openly on the boards, critique is going to happen and if you don't want it, don't post.Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!
WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!
I absolutely agree! Although I do believe that people are entitled to their own opinions, like you said, this is a place of support-- and they should respect the process in which that person has made to get where they are-- REGARDLESS of what it is.
For example, I'm vegetarian (soon to alter into vegan). Although some would say that I should be incorporating more meat in order to gain muscle, or have dairy in order to gain calcium, that is their opinion. Of course they're entitled to it, and of course I can't change their minds-- but that's exactly it. They're opinion! Also, on the other side of the spectrum, I have no right to critique others about their food decisions. It's their right to eat that way. So, in short: I think we can all benefit from a little respect, regardless of who we are.
Also-- being on the internet is no excuse to be rude, and claiming that this is a "community so you should just suck it up because it's like this in real life" is no excuse to not change something in a positive light. This place is for support and encouragement. Of course critique is welcome, but be constructive about it too!
:huh: Which is it?
Also, why do you get to decide when someone has a right to post? There are just as many people here who believe that debate is healthy and critique is a good thing. So why does your "side" get to dictate?
I don't think people should randomly go into others' diaries and send unsolicited advice. But if someone's posting, that person is asking. If that person doesn't like the answers, that person can ignore the advice. But telling people whoh are tryin to be helpful that they're mean and rude is actually rude.
:flowerforyou:
I completely agree.0 -
Because people can be stupid, and sometimes they need to be told that they are being stupid. Are we done with this now?0
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Why is there so much negativity? Every one here is deprived of Sugar, Calories, or Sex. I think that pretty much explains it.
Speak for yourself. :flowerforyou:0 -
Well being new here, having foolishly dared to comment on another post and getting myself a new one ripped (learnt something though, that the NHS in the UK are teaching people incorrectly mainly) i'm going to dare to comment again. I'm happy with the most recent new one that was ripped though, no need to replace it just yet.
To the Op and all others saying that the nasty comments are unsupportive and people could at least sugarcoat things.
Sugarcoating is fattening. They are being nice by saving you those calories.
In to find out what the NHS is teaching us UK folks that is wrong.0 -
Don't worry... in a month or two you will be face palming yourself just like I did for posting a thread like this. Some are rude and sarcasm is just the personality they have but I agree that a lot is taken out of context. Some are trying to give what they feel is good advice and just come off as rude when they are actually just being straight to the point and not sugar coating everything. Then some people just like a good debate or to see you get your feathers ruffled... these are trolls and my advice... dont feed the trolls! :drinker:0
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Why is there so much negativity? Every one here is deprived of Sugar, Calories, or Sex. I think that pretty much explains it.
Speak for yourself. :flowerforyou:
you lie. you have lost 44 lbs its scientifically impossible for you to not be in a caloric deficit. Why cant you just be honest?0 -
Why is there so much negativity? Every one here is deprived of Sugar, Calories, or Sex. I think that pretty much explains it.
Speak for yourself. :flowerforyou:
you lie. you have lost 44 lbs its scientifically impossible for you to not be in a caloric deficit. Why cant you just be honest?
:laugh: I've been in maintenance for a year. But I'm still a big mean meanie.0 -
Why is there so much negativity? Every one here is deprived of Sugar, Calories, or Sex. I think that pretty much explains it.
Speak for yourself. :flowerforyou:
you lie. you have lost 44 lbs its scientifically impossible for you to not be in a caloric deficit. Why cant you just be honest?
:laugh: I've been in maintenance for a year. But I'm still a big mean meanie.
It's true, she is.0 -
Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!
WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!
Well, TBH TDEE IS for everyone. Assuming they're doing it properly. By the very essence of what TDEE actually IS.
The reason for the success of the MFP system in how it differs from TDEE is because of the essence of accountability it holds you to. However, generally speaking, only people first starting out NEED that sense of accountability to keep them going. Eventually it does become habit, at which point its differences as opposed to the TDEE based system erode away.
Anyway, the reason you see a lot of negativity on here (and you will see it's primarily site veterans who have met their goals being negative and ripping people apart) is because new users refuse to use the search feature or read the sticky posts that will answer 99% of their questions and get them started on the right path. Instead, they post the same questions we've seen a million times before, from people who are doomed to fail because they're following a system that's based on a myth that was debunked/perpetuated long ago. The people on this site are VERY anti-myth. If there was a legitimate scientific study done, at some point, that basically illustrates why what it is you want to do doesn't work, or why it's dangerous, and you still insist on doing it regardless of being enlightened about that, then guess what? You're on your own. And you're made to feel not welcome here. It sounds cruel, and it sounds wrong, but the fact is you're coming here for advice, and the people with the tickers that say they have 100+ lbs lost and profile pics showing six packs are the ones you came here for. You don't have to regard what they say as law, but when they talk, you should listen. And when you choose to fall back on some myth that's been debunked, or ask about some "magic pill," or take the word of someone who very clearly still has a LONG way to go over theirs, you're doing yourself a disservice and wasting the time of everybody here.
tl;dr: read the site stickiesforum FAQs, accept that they were written by people knowledgeable enough (through actual real world experience, backed by studies) to tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing (90% of the time--there ARE always exceptions), have an open mind, and you won't come across in a way that invites negativity.0 -
This is the internet... filled with a bunch of cowardly *kitten* who have all the confidence to be rude to someone behind the comfort of a computer. Get them in person, though, and most of the time they'll keep quiet. Just ignore them.0
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Why is there so much negativity? Every one here is deprived of Sugar, Calories, or Sex. I think that pretty much explains it.
Speak for yourself. :flowerforyou:
you lie. you have lost 44 lbs its scientifically impossible for you to not be in a caloric deficit. Why cant you just be honest?
:laugh: I've been in maintenance for a year. But I'm still a big mean meanie.
Oh Good I like meanies!0 -
I have a kettle I'd like to introduce you to.This is the internet... filled with a bunch of cowardly *kitten* who have all the confidence to be rude to someone behind the comfort of a computer. Get them in person, though, and most of the time they'll keep quiet. Just ignore them.0 -
This is the internet... filled with a bunch of cowardly *kitten* who have all the confidence to be rude to someone behind the comfort of a computer. Get them in person, though, and most of the time they'll keep quiet. Just ignore them.
Aww yes Richardo....100% agree.
Another interesting thing that happens on the internet...People go onto the internet...Call people out for being "mean" on the internet...Throw insults (e.g. Cowardly *kitten*) at said people on the internet that are worse than anything that was actually being said...Proceed on the internet to say people that do that on the internet would never do that in real life....And then fail to see the irony of it...in real life or on the internet0 -
OP hasn't been in since page 2...don't think she's reading anymore, but hey, gifs.
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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1132675-critique-my-food-diary?page=1#posts-17589666
Oh, and that right there is how you "help" someone without being a douche.
In your opinion, how did spookiefox do in refuting the bogus information posted in this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1117560-too-much-sugar ? Was it appropriately kind or was it, to use your phrase, "being a douche"?
If you are referring to her responding to my comment about how the body does know the difference between a candy bar and an apple in terms of how it nourishes the body (I'll admit I did not include the 'nourishment' caveat) there was absolutely nothing wrong with their post. That is how dialogue should go. Now, further down in the thread, another MFPer refuted spookiefox's assertion.
I'll also grant that "douchebaggery" is highly subjective, but I think we all know a jerk when we see one!
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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1132675-critique-my-food-diary?page=1#posts-17589666
Oh, and that right there is how you "help" someone without being a douche.
Personal attacks are against the CGs.
I wasn't attacking anyone personally. ETA: If you're offended by that, you might need to assess why that is?0 -
I'll also grant that "douchebaggery" is highly subjective, but I think we all know a jerk when we see one!
Considering how many people point to perfectly reasonable posts and call them douchey (or something similar), I'm pretty sure you're wrong.0 -
Well being new here, having foolishly dared to comment on another post and getting myself a new one ripped (learnt something though, that the NHS in the UK are teaching people incorrectly mainly) i'm going to dare to comment again. I'm happy with the most recent new one that was ripped though, no need to replace it just yet.
To the Op and all others saying that the nasty comments are unsupportive and people could at least sugarcoat things.
Sugarcoating is fattening. They are being nice by saving you those calories.
In to find out what the NHS is teaching us UK folks that is wrong.
Did a course with them on food and eating related stuff. To summarise, without the finer details, they teach to have 3 main meals with occasional snacks. The main meal (breakfast) to start the metabolism going, then a midmorning snack to keep it going until lunch, etc. They say that this helps to lose weight or maintain it (Obviously based on the calories of the snacks and so on). Had a new one ripped by foolishly believing those teachings and sharing it on another thread where I thought it might be helpful to the OP. Live and learn. lol0 -
I'll also grant that "douchebaggery" is highly subjective, but I think we all know a jerk when we see one!
Considering how many people point to perfectly reasonable posts and call them douchey (or something similar), I'm pretty sure you're wrong.
Reported.0 -
I definitely agree with you to a certain point.
I think most of the time people have the best of intentions, like when they see someone is eating under 1000 calories a day that worries them, and the advice just comes out the wrong way. Some have intentions to be that way, but the majority of them do not. Please don't let negative things keep you away or discouraged by the site. For the majority of MFPers they really are just wanting to help!0 -
This is the internet... filled with a bunch of cowardly *kitten* who have all the confidence to be rude to someone behind the comfort of a computer. Get them in person, though, and most of the time they'll keep quiet. Just ignore them.
I don't find myself that rude, just maybe more of a smartass. However, I can honestly say that I am exactly the same way online as I am in real life. True story.0
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