what's with all the hate?

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  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Seems like a lot of people (everywhere on the Internet, not just here) can't see the difference between posting "actually, you are wrong and here's why" and "lol, good luck with that you dumb@ss, you deserve to fail". I am surprised at how mean and petty people can be. And they always defend it by saying they are just being honest.

    Thankfully these people are in the minority here, but it is still annoying and somewhat saddening to see. I think if you wouldn't say it to a stranger IRL, you shouldn't say it at all. Maybe I am just old fashioned, though.

    I'm all for blunt, but why be rude?

    perhaps you can use posts #16-5000 to show us the proper way to do things. I, for one, look forward to learning from you leading by example.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
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    ... aren't we all on MFP just to feel encouraged and focused on our personal weight loss journeys?...

    In short, no. At the end of the day, this is still an internet forum. Try to ignore the negativity, and take what good, constructive things that you can from what is said. If you're really good, then you can set aside the delivery method and realize that even the snarky comments have some wisdom in them, sometimes.

    Yep
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    I am sorry, this should be really off topic but these last few days I have noticed a surge in hate comments to threads and just basically people trying to find excuses to start an argument.
    Truthfully, I have not noticed any worsening. It's always been bad.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,287 Member
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    it is nothing new it has always been that way. And not just on this website it is everywhere. People get bigger, badder, and smarter when dealing with other people in a way that is not face to face - maybe to make up for being a pushover in real life.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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  • smilesback
    smilesback Posts: 327 Member
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    You asked a great question. I relate and believe that you take what you want and leave the rest when it comes to people's comments.

    As to why people are this way, now particularly, in this moment in time, it may be the approach of holidays and the unmet expectations surrounding this season. Free floating anxiety lands eventually.

    Generally, I feel people will weigh in on a topic and depending on their mood will have a go at letting you know where they are at. Some of it is pretty dang funny, some not so helpful, sometimes very useful, entertaining esp when reading between the lines, and yet sometimes pretty darn rude. No response to that negativity is a response. Behavior modification - no attention for bad behavior. Doesn't hurt to report your feelings about a response to our MFP board modulators or something.

    Glad you put it out there, that you are finding something not acceptable on MFP.
  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
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    FWIW, do not easily give offense, and do not easily take offense.
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
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    Hi, I was thinking the same thing. On my very first post here I was called foolish because I was eating about 800 calories per day. Someone actually deducted that it was because I was once eating too much that I was now overweight and I'm now on this diet. Ni w I was in the wrong and I admited it. I realized that 800 calories a day while exercising 1 hour (burning anywhere from 600 to 800 calories) was not a good idea but instead of being constructed they seemed like they were bulling me a bit.

    what did you want people to tell you?

    There are countless threads EVERY SINGLE DAY where some person is saying they are only eating some ridiculously low number of calories and they couldn't possibly eat another bite more. However if that is posted on the weight loss board, it is not a hard conclusion that the poster did at some point previously managed to eat significantly more. If it is posted on the gaining weight board it might get more sympathies.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Hate is a pretty strong word for what occurs here. I think very few posters here have enough of an emotional investment for actual hatred.

    YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME!

    You're right. I'm sorry for trying to downplay your hatred. It was unkind of me. Forgive me?
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    I suspect you've heard the rumors but have never actually been to youtube.

    I've never seen someone reply "just kill yourself" here. And that's pretty common on youtube.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    ... aren't we all on MFP just to feel encouraged and focused on our personal weight loss journeys?...

    In short, no. At the end of the day, this is still an internet forum. Try to ignore the negativity, and take what good, constructive things that you can from what is said. If you're really good, then you can set aside the delivery method and realize that even the snarky comments have some wisdom in them, sometimes.

    Yep

    QFT

    I used to try to defend people that were getting ripped to shreds on this website. I have learned that it is best to not get involved, unless you want to go down the same route.

    I just think now, that it is the `internet` people sitting behind monitors typing stuff that they probably (99.9%) not say to a person face to face.
  • amie709
    amie709 Posts: 99
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    I think the problem is that everyone on here think they are right and that everyone else on here is wrong when in reality there is more then one way to do things when it comes to fitness and weight loss and everyone who has a system that works for them thinks it's the best system for everyone else too. But the truth is that what works for one person might not work for the next person. For example, I needed to cut out all junk or I would never make this work. But at least 90% of my food was junk! If someone else is eating all healthy food except that 1 piece of dark chocolate every day then they are going to have different advice on junk food then I am and we are both going to be right! Because that's what worked for each of us! And some people realize that everyone's journey is different and will just offer their opinion and others will insist they are the only ones who are right and belittle the opinions of others. I think it's just what your going to see happen anytime you have so many peoples opinions in one place! I have started posting a disclaimer with my forum posts asking that if anyone wants to be rude about what I say then message me and be rude about it but don't be rude on my post because even though they might not find my information useful other people might.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    This place is a poorly modded cess pool on par with youtube comments.

    This is one of the better moderated forums I am a part of. I suspect your experience has been limited to social media sites if you believe this.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    ... aren't we all on MFP just to feel encouraged and focused on our personal weight loss journeys?...

    In short, no. At the end of the day, this is still an internet forum. Try to ignore the negativity, and take what good, constructive things that you can from what is said. If you're really good, then you can set aside the delivery method and realize that even the snarky comments have some wisdom in them, sometimes.

    Yep

    QFT

    I used to try to defend people that were getting ripped to shreds on this website. I have learned that it is best to not get involved, unless you want to go down the same route.

    I just think now, that it is the `internet` people sitting behind monitors typing stuff that they probably (99.9%) not say to a person face to face.

    I say things to people's faces more than I do on the internet. Just sayin'. I strongly suspect I am not the only one. Been here almost a year, and am fairly certain of that.
  • libyloba
    libyloba Posts: 30
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    gigglesinthes I don't care about "sympathy." Especially not from anyone here. Someone made a post and I responded. Like I said before I gained the weight after pregnancy. Still, there is a diffrence between constructive criticism and been plain rude.
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    ... aren't we all on MFP just to feel encouraged and focused on our personal weight loss journeys?...

    In short, no. At the end of the day, this is still an internet forum. Try to ignore the negativity, and take what good, constructive things that you can from what is said. If you're really good, then you can set aside the delivery method and realize that even the snarky comments have some wisdom in them, sometimes.

    Yep

    QFT

    I used to try to defend people that were getting ripped to shreds on this website. I have learned that it is best to not get involved, unless you want to go down the same route.

    I just think now, that it is the `internet` people sitting behind monitors typing stuff that they probably (99.9%) not say to a person face to face.

    I say things to people's faces more than I do on the internet. Just sayin'. I strongly suspect I am not the only one. Been here almost a year, and am fairly certain of that.
    Me too, just ask the last Beachbody coach who tried to push shakeology on to me IRL.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    It's gotta be TOM; that m-effer.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    Hate is a pretty strong word for what occurs here. I think very few posters here have enough of an emotional investment for actual hatred.

    YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME!

    You're right. I'm sorry for trying to downplay your hatred. It was unkind of me. Forgive me?

    There is no room for forgiveness on the interweb...Sorry not sorry
  • theopenforum
    theopenforum Posts: 280 Member
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    well I got 3 reasons
    1. haters

    2. when you do something successfully whether it is to lose weight or build muscle; people tend to stand by the method that worked for them. But, they fail to realize that this method isn't for everyone it just happened to be what worked for you. So they start arguments with others about health fitness and nutrition cause they feel their way is right.

    3. People with self esteem issues that want to feel better than everyone and jump on here to make themselves look better by comparison even if they cannot relate to weight loss.

    In any event this is the minority and does not represent the mass as a whole. I would implore you to try to hang out with the more positive people on the forum to get a good idea of how this community really is :)

    Or you can tell me who is givin ya problems and Ill bash their skull in :P

    Cheers,

    Tof
  • lovetotravel04
    lovetotravel04 Posts: 29 Member
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    Yeah it doesn't give me much faith in people the way some respond.

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