Horrible experience in the gym tonight

Options
24567…18

Replies

  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Options
    is feeling very spoiled about now. I use the gyms here on post. I have two options if the big gym is full the other one usually isn't and everyone seems to be just fine with sharing equipment.
  • goodnamegone
    goodnamegone Posts: 237
    Options
    First go up say excuse me and smile and say you want to do your weights, they will move.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Options
    Talk to them...believe it not, they are human :laugh:

    yeah probably the best advice just remember you catch more flies with honey than vinegar...
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    Options
    Did you happen to ask them if you could get a bar?

    Did you ask anyone that worked there about the situation?
    ^This

    ^ I second this. Ask nicely if you can borrow a piece that is just laying around or ask if you can squeezer in btwn sets ... most guys are cool with someone working in from my experience.
  • SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish
    SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish Posts: 831 Member
    Options
    Definitely go talk to them before complaining, it may be all "attitude" they are giving off to appear "buff", but none of it is really directed at you. Could even be the guy is not meeting your eyes because he's shy with a girl around, not because he's reading your mind that you want the bench. "Excuse me, can you hand me one of those bars" might be all you need to cause a massive shift of "attitude" from "tough and buff" to "I'm the one helping the girl" ;)
  • robinmmurphy3
    robinmmurphy3 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    I've never been to a gym that's not like this. I hear there are fabled places that are different, but I assume they are on Mars.

    I train in my basement because I have zero time for dude bros.



    dude bros......that literally made me LOL!!!
  • dorothyharden
    dorothyharden Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    most of the big gyms have rules that are enforced that prohibit this type of behavior. If there is not another gym in your area stay strong and smile and remain polite but "commandeer" what you need to complete your workout. It sounds like an awful situation though and I hope you will be able to find a more user friendly atmosphere soon!:flowerforyou:
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    Options
    Did you happen to ask them if you could get a bar?

    Did you ask anyone that worked there about the situation?
    ^This

    ^ I second this. Ask nicely if you can borrow a piece that is just laying around or ask if you can squeezer in btwn sets ... most guys are cool with someone working in from my experience.

    well... and in my gym, people typically don't put things back so if you want something, you have to get it. And the normal polite thing to do in a crowded gym where you need to get around someone to get to some equipment that's not being used is to talk to them.

    Am I the only person who sees the irony in OP complaining that someone went around her to get to equipment they had to, but blaming "dude bros" for being between her and the unused equipment she wants in a CROWDED GYM?
  • mamacoates
    mamacoates Posts: 430 Member
    Options
    Already a couple of good responses, but adding in my own 2c ... I am 50 years old and do not look like I belong in the "dude's" area of the gym ... but I pay my membership dues on the same day of the month that the "dude's" do ... and I politely put on my friendliest smile and ask if I can borrow [whatever it is I need] and then thank them. As long as I approach them in a polite manner, they have never been anything but polite back to me. In the best cases, they jump up and apologize (i.e. if they are just sitting on the bench I want to use) and in the worst cases, they let me know they have xx more sets to do and then I can have it - inconvenient, but at least we have both drawn our territories in the sand ...

    In all fairness, sometimes when I lift with my own sons, I get wrapped up in conversation myself, sit on a nearby bench to wait my turn in our rotation, and lose track of my surroundings until my own son excuses me to move for another member waiting for the bench I am sitting on ... so I know the mentality is not necessarily meant to be rude. :happy:

    So hold your ground sister, in a friendly manner of course, and you may find that they are just wrapped up in themselves and what they are doing and oblivious to their own (unintentional) rudeness ... Besides, if you don't at least ask [to work in, borrow a weight for a set, etc.] then you are allowing this behavior to continue ... and if you speak your voice, it still continues and management does nothing, take your money elsewhere.
  • FancyPantsFran
    FancyPantsFran Posts: 3,687 Member
    Options
    I had a similar situation. I just asked to use the bench when they were done. Then I stood near the bench not hawking it but close enough to remind I was waiting to use it next. I even asked them how many sets they had left. I just used another piece of equipment. After that things were fine. Some guys and girls can be jerks not just at the gym. guess I was in a bit of a mood myself that day..LOL. BUT if that persists say something to management and if doenst get resolved bounce yourself over to another gym. Good luck
  • betsyr13
    betsyr13 Posts: 45 Member
    Options
    Yeah, you just have to make yourself walk over there and pick up what you need or ask if you can use the bench. They probably are just doing their own thing and don't mean to be intimidating to you. Most people will share the equipment if you ask nicely.

    If you asked and they said no, then that would be grounds to speak to a manager and/or take your business elsewhere.
  • jilltaylor86
    jilltaylor86 Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    Just tell them you need to use it. This happened to me, a big muscly guy was sitting and texting on a machine I needed, so I just politely asked to work in and he moved his *kitten* quite quickly. I think you're being a little sensitive. You pay money and you have the right to use it. If it's a real issue, talk to a manager.
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    Options
    Oh, boy! I have experienced this at my gym too. I was eyeballing a weight machine for my arms and two guys were taking turns doing sets on it and hogging it up. Thankfully, they finally got their tails up and moved to the free weights once I made my way to it, but I did not think they were ever going to release the machine to the public. There are not many people at my gym which is a good thing and most of the guys stick to the free weights and dumbbells side, while the ladies usually stick to the weight machines. But I understand what you mean to the fullest extent! I would complain or go over the trainer's head.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Options
    I would have probably done the same as you in my early gym days, not because I thought they were big evil men, but simply because I'm incredibly shy and introverted. I agree that you should try being friendly and/or going at a less busy time first before complaining. You say you are a confident professional woman. Pretend they are clients and act like you know what you are doing.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
    Options
    so what;s stopping you from going over and saying that if no one is using a bench/space that you want to work in? every gym i've ever belonged to has been the same in that regards where usually people spread out without thinking and all you have to do is say is hey can you move over a bit and they will do so.

    i've done it at my gyms (and the one i go to now tends to be very "bro-ish") and the guys are always pretty cool about being like "oh no i wasnt using that" and tidying up a bit so they take up less space.

    closed mouths dont get fed and people cant mind read (well most cant)
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Options
    So, I've lifted weights in 3 different gyms over the last 10 or so years, and I've never had that problem.

    I mean, I have no issue going up to a guy and saying "are you using that bench" or "how many sets do you have" or even "can I work in between sets?" And usually the response is something like "We have one more set" or "go ahead" and they're actually pretty nice about it. Maybe it's because, whether or not I "look like" I belong there, I act like it. I'm polite, I try to be considerate of others (although I do circuits and so sometimes take up a bench for 20-30 minutes, but I try to be aware of whether someone else is waiting or not … "try" being the operative word there), and I will give a friendly smile to anyone who looks me in the eye.

    I hate to say it, OP, but I think your insecurities might be the issue more than anything. Unless you have actually asked for the weights/bench/to work in/whatever, and they've been rude. If that's the case, talk to the people working there, or take it up to management if necessary.
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
    Options
    I've never been to a gym that's not like this. I hear there are fabled places that are different, but I assume they are on Mars.

    I train in my basement because I have zero time for dude bros.

    I live on Mars. Seriously though, I guess I'm really fortunate that I have a gym (actually a recreation center that has outdone itself) that is huge, has tons of equipment, and pretty awesome people. I've been going there 10 months and have yet to encounter anything other than people minding their own business and going about their workouts. I think maybe the worst thing I've encountered is being there in the evening and having to stretch while waiting for a machine to open up. But I don't do machines anymore, so I don't worry about it.

    OP: Were it me, I would have gone over to those guys, politely confronted them and asked for use of the bar. Assert yourself- you have every right to be there and use the equipment! If it's too uncomfortable for you, maybe another gym is a better option?
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    Options
    Oh, boy! I have experienced this at my gym too. I was eyeballing a weight machine for my arms and two guys were taking turns doing sets on it and hogging it up. Thankfully, they finally got their tails up and moved to the free weights once I made my way to it, but I did not think they were ever going to release the machine to the public. There are not many people at my gym which is a good thing and most of the guys stick to the free weights and dumbbells side, while the ladies usually stick to the weight machines. But I understand what you mean to the fullest extent! I would complain or go over the trainer's head.

    Is there like a set time that one is permitted to use a machine while not being a jerk? Because when I am doing, oh let's say, squat day, I have to do two sets of five, on set of three, one set of five, one set of three, one set to failure, then five sets of ten, all at different weights with rest in between. It takes time. If people working out constitutes "hogging" equipment, then everyone at the gym is hogging equipment. Also, these two guys were working sets in, each using while the other rests- which means they were maximizing use of the machine for the time they had.

    wow.

    i'm glad I don't have y'all's mentality about working out. I don't view myself as at odds with other folks. I view us as all being there for the same damned thing.
  • jonnyman41
    jonnyman41 Posts: 1,032 Member
    Options
    If you are tied into the gym then I would put a complaint in writing about there not being enough equipment to go around and/or the practice of stockpiling without blaming any individuals. If not tied to the gym then I would look elsewhere for somewhere where you feel more comfortable. Just a note to add, stating that women are 'prancing' around at zumba probably puts you in the league with those men that you accuse of making judgements. It takes all sorts of ways to lead a fit and healthy life and plenty of people enjoy zumba but still use weights and even if not, it can be quite serious business, though I do understand what you were trying to express rather badly.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
    Options
    I've never been to a gym that's not like this. I hear there are fabled places that are different, but I assume they are on Mars.

    I train in my basement because I have zero time for dude bros.

    I live on Mars. Seriously though, I guess I'm really fortunate that I have a gym (actually a recreation center that has outdone itself) that is huge, has tons of equipment, and pretty awesome people. I've been going there 10 months and have yet to encounter anything other than people minding their own business and going about their workouts. I think maybe the worst thing I've encountered is being there in the evening and having to stretch while waiting for a machine to open up. But I don't do machines anymore, so I don't worry about it.

    OP: Were it me, I would have gone over to those guys, politely confronted them and asked for use of the bar. Assert yourself- you have every right to be there and use the equipment! If it's too uncomfortable for you, maybe another gym is a better option?

    but is an outright confrontation the best way to resolve it?
    confronting just seems a bit aggressive for the situation especially since how are they supposed to know she wanted to use the equipment?confrontation usually implies that you've gone beyond he level of politely asking which the OP clearly hasnt done besides the eye daggers which really dont mean anything in real life communication

Categories