Horrible experience in the gym tonight
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This.I had a similar experience when I was going to the gym (finally just got the equipment I liked at yard sales and set up an area at home, not because I disliked the gym but just found I do more when I don't have to get in the car, drive 5 miles and get frustrated at people for equipment and music tastes) My problem wasn't with the men, it with the women! Many would hog the same piece of equipment for hours. Treadmill was their favorite. They would be walking at an extremely low pace, texting or talking on their phones, which is really annoying if your lucky enough to get an open treadmill! Especially if they are talking loudly and laughing. The weightlifting area was next to the treadmills and my god, there wasn't a women in there that did not stare at you (from the safety of their beloved treadmills) if you were lifting.
Very easy to rotate out doing lifting sets when you need to take 90-120 second rests between 30 second sets. Not so easy to rotate off of a treadmill or elliptical which would get a lot more useage at a female-only gym.
Also, the exact situation that you describe just happened to my wife. She got ogled by two women who were using the gym as a shoot-the-**** session instead of a real workout session to the point she asked me when we left 'why were those women staring at me like I had something wrong with me?'
(Don't worry, there are men who go to the gym and are more intent on flexing in the mirror and making loud obnoxious grunts than getting a good workout, too).
This isn't a man/woman issue. This is a 'someone is using a piece of equipment that I want to use, I got impatient, and was too timid to ask to share' issue. Most men will follow proper etiquitte and you'll either get a 'sure, go ahead' or a 'I have one more set', the latter is implying that spending 2 minutes re-racking the weights isn't worth the 30 seconds you'll save by waiting for him to finish.0 -
HOW on this green Earth does this discussion turn into a discussion on assault? Are women really that afraid of men? Not every guy out there is scoping the gym for a victim. Men in the gym hoard equipment because they're too lazy to put it away, not because they don't want females to use it.
If you act assertive but friendly, then you get a lot further in life. That applies to anything, not just getting to the 20 pound dumb bells.
God knows and to be frank most men I know are in awe of woman in the gym lifting heavy and are intimidated themselves because well she might lift more....
This sounds like projection to me.....or PMS.
Holy ****... yeah EVERY man I know is excited about women working out in the men's section, we think it's really great.0 -
I'm curious the age of the "men" in question. Perhaps they were teenagers, which would make this easier for me to understand.0
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^ This.0 -
So tonight .....
Is this a story from a gym at a high school?
Just ask for what you need and get over yourself. If they give you flak, then there IS an issue.0 -
Holy ****... yeah EVERY man I know is excited about women working out in the men's section, we think it's really great.
Come to my gym bro, the free weight area has a wall of windows that look onto the pool.
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Oh my god! Just because there are weights doesn't make it the "men's section". People like you are the problem the OP was having to start with.HOW on this green Earth does this discussion turn into a discussion on assault? Are women really that afraid of men? Not every guy out there is scoping the gym for a victim. Men in the gym hoard equipment because they're too lazy to put it away, not because they don't want females to use it.
If you act assertive but friendly, then you get a lot further in life. That applies to anything, not just getting to the 20 pound dumb bells.
God knows and to be frank most men I know are in awe of woman in the gym lifting heavy and are intimidated themselves because well she might lift more....
This sounds like projection to me.....or PMS.
Holy ****... yeah EVERY man I know is excited about women working out in the men's section, we think it's really great.0 -
Speak to the management and give them a chance to rectify the situation.0
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Oh my god! Just because there are weights doesn't make it the "men's section". People like you are the problem the OP was having to start with.
We don't take kindly to folks who don't take kindly in these parts.0 -
Wow, next time just ask, you'd be amazed at how well that works. We can't read your mind.0
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Wow, next time just ask, you'd be amazed at how well that works. We can't read your mind.
Totes def, unless there's writing in the breastal region.0 -
Life is too short. Find another gym.
I wouldn't work out in a gym I'm uncomfortable in, are there any other gyms you could join?0 -
It can be a little intimidating, but guess what? You've paid your dues and have as much right to be there as they do! I ran into the same issue...and for all of you that haven't been there, it does rather feel like a fraternity! Ask for the equipment you want/need to use. Ask for a bench if someone is between sets, and KEEP IT UP! When you're in there regularly, sweating and transforming...eventually, they MAY come to realize that your goals and theirs really aren't so different. If they do fail to realize it, take it to the staff. If the staff fails to address it, then take it to their corporate office. I doubt there is a franchise anywhere that charges membership fees that would rather have you walk away than speak up about it!!
My best moment was when, after months in the free weights room, one of the regular rats came up to me when I was doing cardio and told me how noticeable my efforts were...that I had REALLY toned up. Just helped me realize that we are all after the same thing!0 -
What
The
Flaming
****
Did I just read? Are certain people really trying to imply that the OP should have been in fear? GTFO with that BS.0 -
haha! I love the pic that goes with it.....its like its hand n hand:)Life is too short. Find another gym.0 -
I work at a gym. We circulate the area to make sure our members are getting what they need. If that is not happening in your gym--get out.
I would say that just because a guy doesn't want to give you eye contact does not mean that if you approached him nicely and directly that he wouldn't accomodate you. Let's face it--a guy sometimes needs to know your needs--he can't get guess....(it goes both ways I do know this but I am speaking to this situation spefically). I would think a guy would be a gentleman and not be a jerk just because he is in a tetstosterone fest. But hey--I've been wrong before. :flowerforyou:
There is accountability on both sides of this equation. Own your reaction and get over the intimidation or go find a female friendly gym in whatever context that means to you. My guess is if you change your approach you may find it becomes a female friendly gym just by the nature of your actions.0 -
I too had this experience in the gym. I complained to the manager and it got better for a while, but leopards never change their spots. I decided to take matters into my own hands and being that my gym is open 24 hours I decided to get up earlier in the morning and go to the gym, thus missing the crowds and all the testosterone. WIN WIN! Good Luck!0
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Yah, some gyms where there are mostly men in the weight room - it does seem like its "their" space and think women do not beong in that area. They like to talk about T&A, etc... lol But, thing is - you are allowed there. You are paying for a gym membership; just like them. I had to get over the fact that i am basically the only female in the weight room; if i wanted to use a bench, bar, weight, machine, etc; I ASK. I had to get over being uncomfortable. Just ask:
"hey are you going to use this right now?" Or if he counters with he's still using it - "How many more sets? I'd appreciate it if i could use it after you"
For the most part, the people are nice to me. They either tell me i'm ok to use it or they say they have a few more sets.
I understand the frustration; i hate it when people set up a circut on the floor when its super busy at the gym and most of the areas are taken up. I dont take that lying down. I just go up to whatever i need and use it. I dont have time to wait on you and all your equipement that 'your using'
I honestly think that I've "earned" my spot in the weight room and earned some sort of repsect from the guys in the weight room. Just trying asking nicely. If they are rude to you; then maybe complain. But sometimes, even that doesnt work. Gym managers dont always want to stir the pot. If thats the case, try finding a new gym.0 -
My gym has women days and man days and it sounds like that is a good thing0
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Just bust in and ask to use whatever bar/bench/plates/dumbbells. If people are sitting there and texting, politely point out they're clearly not using whatever piece of equipment at the moment, and you'd like to work in. Don't let people intimidate you :flowerforyou:0
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Because when I am doing, oh let's say, squat day, I have to do two sets of five, on set of three, one set of five, one set of three, one set to failure, then five sets of ten, all at different weights with rest in between. It takes time.
Dang girl you are my hero!0 -
most gyms have rules and signs about time of us of equipment especially during peak hours. I agree w/finding another gym. 1st one I belonged to was near a university w/a bunch of these meat-heads who would do the same thing. Unfortunately, a few of the trainers were also their friends and would join in their little "reindeer games." Be sure to tell management THEY are the reason you are leaving.
my gym also has a rule of NO cell phones on the floors.0 -
Oh my god! Just because there are weights doesn't make it the "men's section". People like you are the problem the OP was having to start with.HOW on this green Earth does this discussion turn into a discussion on assault? Are women really that afraid of men? Not every guy out there is scoping the gym for a victim. Men in the gym hoard equipment because they're too lazy to put it away, not because they don't want females to use it.
If you act assertive but friendly, then you get a lot further in life. That applies to anything, not just getting to the 20 pound dumb bells.
God knows and to be frank most men I know are in awe of woman in the gym lifting heavy and are intimidated themselves because well she might lift more....
This sounds like projection to me.....or PMS.
Holy ****... yeah EVERY man I know is excited about women working out in the men's section, we think it's really great.
And "People like you" should go to Planet Fitness and shut up.
What, for noticing that 'the men's section' is really not the way to phrase it? She doesn't need to shut up or go anywhere. I love Frank, but he phrased that poorly, imho.0 -
Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.0
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My gym is pretty great. It usually only gets really busy on weekdays from about 5 to 6 pm. Other than that it isn't too crowded. I have never had a negative experience with guys at my gym. I also don't hang back. I just go and get what I need.0
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I don't know how this particular situation got onto safety, but I did leave the free weight section of my gym because of two very strange guys after a while. The room was down an obscure corridor, and it was almost always me alone with these 2 guys. They weren't quite right in the head, I don't think (steroids, maybe?). Occasionally one nice (normal) guy came in, but mainly not. After a while, with their behavior increasingly bothersome, I decided it probably wasn't smart to be alone with them so much.
Squats were hurting my knees anyway, so it was a dual decision. But I think safety issues CAN come up, just usually not in a very crowded weight room. That's taking it a bit far, imho, yeah.0 -
Did you say anything to anyone during this period of focused anti-you-ing-ness?0
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Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.
This seems a tad aggro. Just be polite and ask. Just because some guy is big, working out hard, and perhaps even grunting doesn't mean that's he's going to be a jerk. The guys are working out. Just join. Hell, pick the biggest and meanest looking dude in the gym and ask advice between sets. Most of the time you'll be pleasantly surprised if you're nice about it. I'm a very average sized guy, travel frequently, and have always had good results with this in new gyms.0 -
Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.
No offense, if I was in the middle of a superset and needed both pieces of equipment, I would say no. Not cause I am mean, but I need and I am using both of them. If I was done, I would give it to you. If you took it from me, I would just take it back. No need to be rude about it man. Maybe the "Roid Master" would need to find a gym where people don't walk up to him and take equipment he is using.0
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