Self Hate -- Weekend Rant

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  • toya316
    toya316 Posts: 137 Member
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    You don't like women and they don't like you??:huh: Why would you say such a thing? That statement alone makes me feel that from the door you put yourself above and beyond other women.. You start the convo off as if your stuck up. Your just upset because it WASN'T ALL ABOUT YOU HUN... Seems like you don't like competition and get very uncomfortable around someone that you may feel take the lime light off of you... Get over yourself.. Maybe other woman don't like you from your introduction. :noway: It doesn't seem like your weight is THE TRUE ISSUE... Change the way you think baby girl, things can be a lot worse. Lose the weight and look Awesome for yourself not others.. :wink:
  • MrsMetzler2013
    MrsMetzler2013 Posts: 22 Member
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    Don't give other people the power over you to make you feel a certain way! YOU are the power in your world, don't let anyone make you feel inferior!
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Meow.
    You need to ask yourself where your attitude is coming from.
    Just be yourself.
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
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    Even if you think you are bigger that you would ideally like to be, there will always be something you see in yourself as not perfect. That's ok. We all should be trying to improve ourselves, whether in appearance or health or in knowledge or skills or spirituality. But you know that inside you are already a quality human being just the way you are. Don't wait untill you think you are the perfect size before you live the life you want. Brazen it out even if you have to fake it at first. The more you carry yourself with the confidence of a woman who know she has "it" the more you will feel that way, and the more others will see it in you.
  • fitnessMommy68
    fitnessMommy68 Posts: 7 Member
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    I have never met you, but I am sorry you had to go through that. So often I will judge myself through someone elses eyes. That is always a lie. I do not know your faith but where my heart is, only 1 person can judge me and I only have to care to please God. You are doing that with your weight loss effort and I pray that you continue to blessed and God puts people in your path to encourage you. You will be the small one someday and the big girl at the table will be the lucky girl to have you there to encourage her! Blessings on your journey!
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
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    Alcohol and emotion (perceived rejection) are rarely a good mix! If I were J I'd have been mortified at your behaviour and think twice about inviting you with other friends. Negativity and self pity aren't attractive qualities; neither is b!tchiness for that matter.
    D shouldn't have to deal with your envy, from all your indications she's a nice woman with her own insecurities.
    You're on a hiding to nothing comparing yourself to other women. I hope you can work on your low self esteem issues.
  • BossLadyDSimp
    BossLadyDSimp Posts: 257 Member
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    I really enjoyed reading all of the posts, even the ones that slightly offended me. But I have NEVER been one to shy away from criticism I GIVE TOUGH LOVE SO I CAN TAKE IT! Here are some answers to questions and my thoughts.
    1. I am “always the home girl”. I have a lot of guy friends and I wouldn’t say I am a girly girl. I was a huge tom boy growing up. Typically girls didn’t like me because I was hanging out with their dating interest (MUCH LIKE IN THIS CASE *light bulb*). Women have usually been really mean about my weight, shape, hair, nails etc. I don’t have a lot of female friends mainly because I cannot stand drama, cat fights, back stabbing, and gossip. I won’t say that I don’t like myself because I don’t like women. I just have never really gotten along with most of the women that I have met besides a select few, meaning 4!
    2. I DEFINITELY wanted to be the center of attention! HELL YES!!! I am amazing look at me. I even started to throw around how much weight I had lost and how hard I am working SMH. I wanted all eyes to be on me in front of J! That was the entire point. So I agree that it looks like I wanted all the adoration because I DID! This chick definitely stole my shine, and most of it was because I handed it to her as quickly as possible. Because I am such the home girl I told Josh that she is lovely and beautiful etc. again GIVING AWAY MY SHINE and just giving up.
    3. I did start to feel like he brought this other person around so I didn’t feel like it was a date. The last time we hung out I told him I was interested and this time there is D last minute. I just decided to play it cool and just not bring it up. I am really bad because now I am just steering away from it all and him as well.
    4. I am not going to lie I was totally intimidated by her beauty! I got to know her and I really enjoyed her personality, we probably will still be friends and as open as I am I would probably tell her that I was intimidated. She said she doesn’t really have a lot of girlfriends and wanted to hang out again. I wrote her and told her that she was beautiful inside and out, especially since I was acting (like someone wisely put it) CRAZY … I don’t down talk other people DUH just myself
    5. I like what everyone had to say. I am going to work on saying positive things about myself, remembering that comparison is the thief of joy and that I am VALUABLE and worthy!! Thanks so much.
    I wouldn’t post of pic of her that’s not for me. My IG name is @bossladydsimp
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    So how hot is J?
    Give me his number, i'll uhhmm... call him and see if he's interested. In you, I mean...
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
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    So how hot is J?
    Give me his number, i'll uhhmm... call him and see if he's interested. In you, I mean...

    OP didn't mention whether or not he footed the bill for all the shots and food. If not, I don't think he's your type. :wink:
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
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    That's the attitude. For your follow up post. :flowerforyou:
  • BL_Coleman
    BL_Coleman Posts: 324 Member
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    Okay....Few things here.

    One, why do you hate other women and assume they hate you? Although to be honest if a girl is only going to talk about her weight, put herself down and hate me on site b/c I happen to be decent looking ( I might hate her/you too)
    --- ( I am no longer that twig of girl, I used to be a 2/4 and 4 is my goal I am currently a 6)
    --- It sounds like you were making both you and the "other girl" feel insecure and less than pretty...please STOP

    NEVER EVER..compete for a guy. Any man who does not want you first and foremost..isnt worth anything.. ( Im not saying don't dress up for your date and laugh at his bad jokes, both are needed) But ..KNOW that you are special and if he doesnt like you, you like you enough that although a disspointment, something better is coming.

    You look very nice in your photo, so you are obviously an attractive girl, you just need to work on making sure that bubbly happy person in your pictures comes out in your interactions.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    So how hot is J?
    Give me his number, i'll uhhmm... call him and see if he's interested. In you, I mean...

    OP didn't mention whether or not he footed the bill for all the shots and food. If not, I don't think he's your type. :wink:

    Ahh. Good point. If he's broke OP can keep him.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    My heart broke for you a little bit when I read this. It is clear that, while you have lost some weight, you still have self-esteem issues to work on and need to learn to love yourself.

    All of your ire and discomfort with the other girl stems from how you perceive yourself, so remember that before immediately disliking someone when they have done nothing wrong.

    *gives you a big hug*
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    I like your follow up.:flowerforyou:

    Work on not putting yourself down in front of others. It is important.

    Ask my friends here...I tell them this all of the time.
  • ktsimons
    ktsimons Posts: 294 Member
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    We went on a cross country trip a few years back...6 adults in a motor home...we had a blast! I one of the ladies on the trip (that I didn't know very well) kept staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking and it made me uncomfortable. At the time, she had just WON a bodybuilding contest...she was freaking built like nothing i had ever seen! Still tan from the contest...eating like a pig becasue she has stripped her weight down so much to compete. I was wearing an 18 - I am only 5'4" - so I resembled a beached whale up against this beautiful woman and i started the self-doubt, the bad self image, etc. I finally got a bit drunk and asked her bluntly WHY was she staring at me...know what she said? "I always thought you were so beautiful and I was trying to figure out what the heck you do with your eye makeup. Now that I have seen you without makeup, I figured out that it is just how beautiful you ARE and I can't stop staring." Needless to say I had to excuse myself and have a nervous breakdown in the bathroom that I barely fit into at my size. You never know what another person's weakness is - she was stunning, thin, blonde, her husband treated her like a princess...everything I wish I was, but SHE was envious of ME!!

    What a life lesson...We are still best friends to this day!
  • BossLadyDSimp
    BossLadyDSimp Posts: 257 Member
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    He paid for all the drinks and food for HER! I even bought a round for everyone which she did not ... She talked a lot about how often other men buy her the things she wants so I am sure she is used to it. That was strange too because any other time we have gone out I have NEVER paid ... I think he is saying loud and clear that he isnt interested.

    Oh Josh is HOT for sure! Smart, funny, a mamas boy, wants kids, successful.

    Now there are some GREAT things about me ... name anything besides looks (and after this, my self image) and I am ALLLLL THAT just not so much my body shape and size.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    let him go.

    he's a ****.

    You're better than that- and you're working on self improvement.
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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    He paid for all the drinks and food for HER! I even bought a round for everyone which she did not ... She talked a lot about how often other men buy her the things she wants so I am sure she is used to it. That was strange too because any other time we have gone out I have NEVER paid ... I think he is saying loud and clear that he isnt interested.

    Oh Josh is HOT for sure! Smart, funny, a mamas boy, wants kids, successful.

    Eff that. Become friends with her, drop him. Don't waste time with a dude who isn't enough of an adult to just say he isn't interested.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    He paid for all the drinks and food for HER! I even bought a round for everyone which she did not ... She talked a lot about how often other men buy her the things she wants so I am sure she is used to it. That was strange too because any other time we have gone out I have NEVER paid ... I think he is saying loud and clear that he isnt interested.

    Oh Josh is HOT for sure! Smart, funny, a mamas boy, wants kids, successful.

    Oh honey, he is not interested. I'm sorry.

    Now, I usually just joke around in threads like this (as you probably saw), but I like you. You seem smart (a little crazy, but whatever, so am I), and you are a pretty girl.
    Stop putting yourself down in front of others, No one likes that. There are times when I feel like maybe I am not the best looking girl at the table. There are times when guys i am interested in pay more attention to other chicks. There are days when I feel fat. I fake it till I make it.
    Now stop sulking about this guy and go find one who'll pay for YOUR drinks.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    If all the women you know have been mean to you about your appearance you need some new friends! Good girl friends are indispensable imo (probably more so for me because my husband is Navy and is gone 50% of the time) but you do have to find good ones.

    My advice going forward would be to work on positive self-talk (this is something I've been working on for the past few months as well, it can be tough) and to work on giving other women a chance. Not all of us are back-stabbing drama-queens-- I promise. :flowerforyou:

    I like the attitude of your follow-up. :flowerforyou:

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