Self Hate -- Weekend Rant

UsedToBeHusky

Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.

Again, some of these responses are uncalled for. We all have issues. How we choose to deal with them is our business. If you don't want help, then don't. OP knows she has self esteem issues as she clearly points out in her rant. She's learning from her mistake and that's what life is all about. I think she's brave for opening up about it.

I'm sorry... what was uncalled for about my response? That is genuine advice.

The OP is making herself miserable. Real growth isn't just about acknowledging an issue. It's about being proactive about the issue. I didn't criticize her for opening up. I offered her a piece of advice that has helped myself and countless others.

Why are you acting like therapy is a taboo? Your response might deter the OP from getting help that she genuinely needs. She's been struggling with these feelings all of her life. Losing some weight might help, but it's not going to repair the emotional damage she's obviously been harboring for far too long. Many people lose weight, but continue to degenerate themselves, even in spite of the positive reactions they might receive from family and friends.

DavPul

I think you have deep seeded emotional issues that need to be addressed..

I really do not see what the other chick did, besides looking hot...

Nah. I've been following this thread and she actually seems kinda cool. She said from the get go that it was probably in her head but she wanted to rant anyway. And she took comments, jokes, and insults from this thread like a champ. She's OK. I mean, she might be a little cray, but isn't that true of all chicks?

DavPul

Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.

Again, some of these responses are uncalled for. We all have issues. How we choose to deal with them is our business. If you don't want help, then don't. OP knows she has self esteem issues as she clearly points out in her rant. She's learning from her mistake and that's what life is all about. I think she's brave for opening up about it.

I'm sorry... what was uncalled for about my response? That is genuine advice.

The OP is making herself miserable. Real growth isn't just about acknowledging an issue. It's about being proactive about the issue. I didn't criticize her for opening up. I offered her a piece of advice that has helped myself and countless others.

Why are you acting like therapy is a taboo? Your response might deter the OP from getting help that she genuinely needs. She's been struggling with these feelings all of her life. Losing some weight might help, but it's not going to repair the emotional damage she's obviously been harboring for far too long. Many people lose weight, but continue to degenerate themselves, even in spite of the positive reactions they might receive from family and friends.

Hauntinglyfit

Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.

Again, some of these responses are uncalled for. We all have issues. How we choose to deal with them is our business. If you don't want help, then don't. OP knows she has self esteem issues as she clearly points out in her rant. She's learning from her mistake and that's what life is all about. I think she's brave for opening up about it.

I'm sorry... what was uncalled for about my response? That is genuine advice.

The OP is making herself miserable. Real growth isn't just about acknowledging an issue. It's about being proactive about the issue. I didn't criticize her for opening up. I offered her a piece of advice that has helped myself and countless others.

Why are you acting like therapy is a taboo? Your response might deter the OP from getting help that she genuinely needs. She's been struggling with these feelings all of her life. Losing some weight might help, but it's not going to repair the emotional damage she's obviously been harboring for far too long. Many people lose weight, but continue to degenerate themselves, even in spite of the positive reactions they might receive from family and friends.

You're making a big deal out of a small issue. She's being a girl. Some of us are crazy like that. I think she's dealing with it just fine.

Man, if I had to pay for someone to listen to all my rants and tell me what i already know I'd be working non stop to pay for therapy. Bartenders do that s^%t for the cost of a few drinks.

tapirfrog

I'm sorry you had a bad weekend, but honestly, your problems have nothing to do with that other girl. I would be incredibly uncomfortable if I was hanging out with a male friend, and the other girl he brought along got drunk and continuously made disparaging comments about herself. I might even start talking about losing weight myself to try to put her at ease. Then I would tell my friend not to date her because she came off as a crazy person.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

pwittek10

Very one has there own issues.
Just because you saw here as Tiny doesn't mean she sees herself that way.
I wear a size 4 but I use to wear a size 28WW.
New people I meet only see the new me not the big one I use to be. They make remarks about my food choices,
saying I can eat whatever I want because I'm so "small" BS I work hard to be this way
I fully support you on your journey, I understand that way you feel with others.
BUT
This is your life, live it for yourself not others.
Believe in what you are trying to do, rebuild yourself.
BE proud of yourself

kelly_e_montana

I appreciate your honesty and I know a few people on here are going to mock you for it.

It doesn't really matter what you look like because people prefer different things. For example, I have guys that I know like me that are regulars (younger, athletic) because I've overheard them talking and they come in all the time on my shift and only my shift. Yet, they show up with their girlfriends and the girls are beautiful! The girls might weight 100-115 and are a size 2 or 0. I am a size 10-11 with a bunch of muscle and some curves and 25 extra pounds of padding. Just because someone is thinner than you doesn't necessarily make them more attractive to another person. Even if you are thin, some people will think you are too thin. If you have muscles, some people will find you too muscular.

Personally I would not want to be friends with a model because people who like having their photos taken all the time concern me on another level (go ahead and get mad everyone; i don't care). So if you don't want to be friends with her, great. You don't have to be friends with her. You don't have to be friends with anyone just because they are nice. You may have nothing in common with her.

I guess the biggest thing is remember that how you talk about yourself is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you talk negatively about yourself, you will convince yourself of negative things. It's a vicious circle. You'll also convince other people. Lack of confidence is a giant turn off for many. If you don't believe in yourself, how can others believe in you? Be proud of your accomplishments and fake it til you make it on the rest!

kelly_e_montana

I think you have deep seeded emotional issues that need to be addressed..

I really do not see what the other chick did, besides looking hot...

Well I think that was the point of her post. She knows she has issues and needs to work on them and was trying to get it off her chest--that's how I saw it anyway.

Sovictorrious

Too much internal drama... We would not be able to hang. Chill out and love yourself. Sheesh

Sandytoes71

Bump

Nicholec2003

Google "Dove Real Beauty Sketch" or "Dove commercial with sketch artist." It is interesting.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I hate it when women say they don't get along with other women. You maybe don't like a certain type of person (gossipers that are full of drama) but those are hardly female traits. By viewing women this way, you've created an antagonistic dynamic before you even say hello.

pavingnewpaths

No matter how thin you are, no matter how nice your skin is, no matter how perfect your teeth/hair are, there will always be someone who looks better. There will also be people who look worse. Beauty is subjective and what matters in the end is how you act. Your personality will alter the way people see you in unimaginative ways. I'm by no means saying that looks don't matter, because we're all old enough to understand that they do - a lot even. But in the end how you treat yourself and other people who always be more important (to the people who matter) than how you look. Yes, maybe that girl was beautiful, so? That doesn't mean you aren't. It also doesn't mean that you don't matter. Stop worrying about the people around you and focus on yourself. Letting things that are inevitable and out of your control get to you so much can never be a good thing.

BossLadyDSimp

Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.

Again, some of these responses are uncalled for. We all have issues. How we choose to deal with them is our business. If you don't want help, then don't. OP knows she has self esteem issues as she clearly points out in her rant. She's learning from her mistake and that's what life is all about. I think she's brave for opening up about it.

I'm sorry... what was uncalled for about my response? That is genuine advice.

The OP is making herself miserable. Real growth isn't just about acknowledging an issue. It's about being proactive about the issue. I didn't criticize her for opening up. I offered her a piece of advice that has helped myself and countless others.

Why are you acting like therapy is a taboo? Your response might deter the OP from getting help that she genuinely needs. She's been struggling with these feelings all of her life. Losing some weight might help, but it's not going to repair the emotional damage she's obviously been harboring for far too long. Many people lose weight, but continue to degenerate themselves, even in spite of the positive reactions they might receive from family and friends.

The whole point of me posting this was to find out what other people have to think and what they do to get rid of the negative ... there have been a lot of different suggestions that people have given that I am interested in trying ... I am also FULLY aware that it was a crazy time peroid ... I dont think therapy is taboo but for some, (and for me before i actually posted it) MFP was a way to get it out and move on ... learn some new things and do things differently next time.

BossLadyDSimp

I think you have deep seeded emotional issues that need to be addressed..

I really do not see what the other chick did, besides looking hot...

Nah. I've been following this thread and she actually seems kinda cool. She said from the get go that it was probably in her head but she wanted to rant anyway. And she took comments, jokes, and insults from this thread like a champ. She's OK. I mean, she might be a little cray, but isn't that true of all chicks?

CRAZY? Oh yes! I am also a lot of diffierent things. This one event doesnt define who I am. Nor does any one persons post, or the message board as a whole. I really enjoyed reading what everyone had to say ... I dont mind looking at myself critically and growning. Life isnt linear it ebbs and flows and I just go with it ...

I appreciate what EVERYONE has to say ... didn't think it would get so big ...

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I APPRECIATE EVERYONE READING A LITTLE BIT INTO MY LIFE AND ALLOWING ME TO SHARE!!

UsedToBeHusky

Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.

Again, some of these responses are uncalled for. We all have issues. How we choose to deal with them is our business. If you don't want help, then don't. OP knows she has self esteem issues as she clearly points out in her rant. She's learning from her mistake and that's what life is all about. I think she's brave for opening up about it.

I'm sorry... what was uncalled for about my response? That is genuine advice.

The OP is making herself miserable. Real growth isn't just about acknowledging an issue. It's about being proactive about the issue. I didn't criticize her for opening up. I offered her a piece of advice that has helped myself and countless others.

Why are you acting like therapy is a taboo? Your response might deter the OP from getting help that she genuinely needs. She's been struggling with these feelings all of her life. Losing some weight might help, but it's not going to repair the emotional damage she's obviously been harboring for far too long. Many people lose weight, but continue to degenerate themselves, even in spite of the positive reactions they might receive from family and friends.

The whole point of me posting this was to find out what other people have to think and what they do to get rid of the negative ... there have been a lot of different suggestions that people have given that I am interested in trying ... I am also FULLY aware that it was a crazy time peroid ... I dont think therapy is taboo but for some, (and for me before i actually posted it) MFP was a way to get it out and move on ... learn some new things and do things differently next time.

Still not understanding why suggesting therapy isn't good advice. But whatever... good luck with it!

rml_16

I mean, she might be a little cray, but isn't that true of all chicks?

No.

rml_16

2. I DEFINITELY wanted to be the center of attention! HELL YES!!! I am amazing look at me. I even started to throw around how much weight I had lost and how hard I am working SMH. I wanted all eyes to be on me in front of J! That was the entire point. So I agree that it looks like I wanted all the adoration because I DID! This chick definitely stole my shine, and most of it was because I handed it to her as quickly as possible. Because I am such the home girl I told Josh that she is lovely and beautiful etc. again GIVING AWAY MY SHINE and just giving up.

This is why you don't get along with other women and why they don't like you.

There is no other reason.

JUST TO CATCH YOU UP SINCE YOU SEEM TO HAVE MISSED IT ...

1. I am “always the home girl”. I have a lot of guy friends and I wouldn’t say I am a girly girl. I was a huge tom boy growing up. Typically girls didn’t like me because I was hanging out with their dating interest (MUCH LIKE IN THIS CASE *light bulb*). Women have usually been really mean about my weight, shape, hair, nails etc. I don’t have a lot of female friends mainly because I cannot stand drama, cat fights, back stabbing, and gossip. I won’t say that I don’t like myself because I don’t like women. I just have never really gotten along with most of the women that I have met besides a select few, meaning 4!

I didn't miss this at all. I stand by my response.

You clearly project a lot of drama and negativity and you're going to attract that right back.

The vast majority of my friends since I was born have been female and they are not full of drama dn do not engage in "cat fights." I also don't know very many women in general who dislike another woman for being friends with her "dating interest." In fact, I have several men in my life who were/are my friends since before they met their currents wives and girlfriends and I am friends with these women.

Heck, my fiance met my best friend before he met me and he had a little crush on her. And guess what? We all hang out all the time. I trust both of them and wouldn't even have a problem with them being alone together overnight somewhere if necessary (which is something that could potentially happen at some point).

You don't get along with women not because they have treated you terribly but rather because you have assigned stereotypical nasty traits to women in general and that is how you conduct yourself.

greenhudler

I think you have deep seeded emotional issues that need to be addressed..

I really do not see what the other chick did, besides looking hot...

Nah. I've been following this thread and she actually seems kinda cool. She said from the get go that it was probably in her head but she wanted to rant anyway. And she took comments, jokes, and insults from this thread like a champ. She's OK. I mean, she might be a little cray, but isn't that true of all chicks?

I'm with you on this one. She also doesn't have any direct issue with the other girl and has even said that she thinks they are going to be good friends and they have each other on Instagram. She was just causing her own insecurities in her head, she made that clear. Many of us do that from time to time. From everything in her post to all of her responses I think she seems like a very nice person who just needed a moment to vent. But some of the responses here are exactly why I don't vent here and go to some more supportive forums I'm on. Not hating on any of the comments, just saying that I don't post anything personal here for good reason.

TR0berts

I mean, she might be a little cray, but isn't that true of all chicks?

No.

True. Most are A LOT cray.