Self Hate -- Weekend Rant
Replies
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When he asked to hang out again he said "just the two of us this time". He def knows how I feel ... last time we were out I told him that I was interested in dating him and he said that we were on the same page ... We both got really busy ... He said D is like his family and that he would never date her ... I told him to never put me in the friend/family box and he said I didnt have to worry about that ...
whether he likes me in that way or not ... I enjoy spending time with him and talking to him. I just need to not be so worried about what other people think and just be myself. When i first met him I thought he was married and he thought i was too ... we just hung out and had a good time. When we both found out we werent married thats when i started to see him a little differently.
Im out of my rage phase (being on my peroid really didnt help i am nutzo then) and back to normal ... Its not like there arent several people that are interested in me ... he just happens to be the only one i am currently interested in.
Either way ... this MFP is all about ME ... so that is what i am focusing on ... gotta love me before anyone else will
Idk, he's sounding fishy. Go for the hot chick.
You want her to go for YOU? Would hubby be okay with that??
Oh wait. I see what you meant. :bigsmile:0 -
When he asked to hang out again he said "just the two of us this time". He def knows how I feel ... last time we were out I told him that I was interested in dating him and he said that we were on the same page ... We both got really busy ... He said D is like his family and that he would never date her ... I told him to never put me in the friend/family box and he said I didnt have to worry about that ...
whether he likes me in that way or not ... I enjoy spending time with him and talking to him. I just need to not be so worried about what other people think and just be myself. When i first met him I thought he was married and he thought i was too ... we just hung out and had a good time. When we both found out we werent married thats when i started to see him a little differently.
Im out of my rage phase (being on my peroid really didnt help i am nutzo then) and back to normal ... Its not like there arent several people that are interested in me ... he just happens to be the only one i am currently interested in.
Either way ... this MFP is all about ME ... so that is what i am focusing on ... gotta love me before anyone else will
Idk, he's sounding fishy. Go for the hot chick.
We still haven't seen the instagram of the alleged hot chick. I'm withholding judgment until the evidence is presented.0 -
When he asked to hang out again he said "just the two of us this time". He def knows how I feel ... last time we were out I told him that I was interested in dating him and he said that we were on the same page ... We both got really busy ... He said D is like his family and that he would never date her ... I told him to never put me in the friend/family box and he said I didnt have to worry about that ...
whether he likes me in that way or not ... I enjoy spending time with him and talking to him. I just need to not be so worried about what other people think and just be myself. When i first met him I thought he was married and he thought i was too ... we just hung out and had a good time. When we both found out we werent married thats when i started to see him a little differently.
Im out of my rage phase (being on my peroid really didnt help i am nutzo then) and back to normal ... Its not like there arent several people that are interested in me ... he just happens to be the only one i am currently interested in.
Either way ... this MFP is all about ME ... so that is what i am focusing on ... gotta love me before anyone else will
He's sending you mixed signals, imo.
But whatever, go out, have fun. Whatever happens, happens.
As long as you're smart enough not to let him play you.
THATS THE PLAN ... LOL0 -
Very well-told story. Your venting is the best thing right now. We all need to do it from time to time. You said everything that you need to keep moving in a positive direction. So, no need for me to add on. God Bless!!!0
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This hit home... real hard. Reading this was like reading into my own life.
I completely disagree with everyone who is making D out to be a victim in the situation. This is just my opinion of course so don't stone me. Her lack of regard for OP's feelings when she said "OMG I need to lose weight," was just her sly way of fishing for compliments. Obviously the guys were already attracted to her and it just sounds like she was trying to rub it in OP's face. I have no pity for attention wh*res regardless if they think they're not doing anything wrong. Some girls are subconsciously attention wh*res... and that's why it's so hard to make lady friends.
[img]http://ed_wp-content_v2.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Colin_Farrel-Disgusted.gif[/img]0 -
Of course. That's how we women are -- always competing with each other for men and stuff. Can't trust us. Nope. Not at all.When he asked to hang out again he said "just the two of us this time". He def knows how I feel ... last time we were out I told him that I was interested in dating him and he said that we were on the same page ... We both got really busy ... He said D is like his family and that he would never date her ... I told him to never put me in the friend/family box and he said I didnt have to worry about that ...
whether he likes me in that way or not ... I enjoy spending time with him and talking to him. I just need to not be so worried about what other people think and just be myself. When i first met him I thought he was married and he thought i was too ... we just hung out and had a good time. When we both found out we werent married thats when i started to see him a little differently.
Im out of my rage phase (being on my peroid really didnt help i am nutzo then) and back to normal ... Its not like there arent several people that are interested in me ... he just happens to be the only one i am currently interested in.
Either way ... this MFP is all about ME ... so that is what i am focusing on ... gotta love me before anyone else will
He's sending you mixed signals, imo.
But whatever, go out, have fun. Whatever happens, happens.
As long as you're smart enough not to let him play you.
This.
It's sounding more and more like he's keeping you on the back burner. A "in case of emergency" gal.
Don't let yourself be that girl.
Don't listen to her. She's just making a play for your man.
Kyleekay, you'd better check yourself.0 -
You don't like women and they don't like you??:huh: Why would you say such a thing? That statement alone makes me feel that from the door you put yourself above and beyond other women.. You start the convo off as if your stuck up. Your just upset because it WASN'T ALL ABOUT YOU HUN... Seems like you don't like competition and get very uncomfortable around someone that you may feel take the lime light off of you... Get over yourself.. Maybe other woman don't like you from your introduction. :noway: It doesn't seem like your weight is THE TRUE ISSUE... Change the way you think baby girl, things can be a lot worse. Lose the weight and look Awesome for yourself not others..
THIS! When I hear this, I hear a few things: "I think I'm better than other women," "I can't get along with more than 50% of the human population," or "I don't want to even try to be your friend." Frankly, he could have brought his friend along so she can vet you. And you failed because of your attitude. She sounded nice to me and you would have come across better to him had you tried being friendly instead of competitive.
Hell, if you don't wind up dating him, you could have made a new friend and had a fun night out.
I feel like I'm beating up on you, but I am so sick of women treating each other like **** and then blaming other women for the problem. Notice how most of the responses here are from women trying to support you? That's what you're missing out on by avoiding women. We're actually pretty damn awesome.
ETA: Just read that she called to check up on you and that he asked you out again - perhaps you didn't come across nearly as badly as you thought you did. It sounds to me like you passed in her estimation and that maybe you have an opportunity to make a female friend. I really hope you give it a try, and subtly hint to her that calling yourself overweight to someone who weighs more than you isn't a good plan. Sounds like she needs a friend to tell her that.0 -
Of course. That's how we women are -- always competing with each other for men and stuff. Can't trust us. Nope. Not at all.
Girls are the enemy. Didn't you get the memo?0 -
*looks sideways*Of course. That's how we women are -- always competing with each other for men and stuff. Can't trust us. Nope. Not at all.
Girls are the enemy. Didn't you get the memo?
Are you talking to me? What are you after? You want my man and my shoes, don't you????0 -
I think you realize all the problems in your attitude and self-hate, so I'm not going to lecture you.
We all have situations such as those, and they never are easy, but they do get easier with more self-acceptance.
For example, I am curvy. I always will be curvy, it's just how I'm built. I am short, yet have large boobs, thighs and butt. My boyfriend loves this about me, but I still manage to hate the fact that I don't fit in to a size 3 and have a perfect stomach. Now, he has a model-esque friend whom recently broke up wither her boyfriend. We've all hung out together, and it's sometimes even more difficult to handle because she's actually really awesome and nerdy at heart. But those comments ("ugh I need to lose weight! My muffin top is HUGE!" **pinches tiny bit of skin**) are HARD to take. Because they will never know the feeling of having a gut hang over your jeans while listening to a gorgeous insecure girl talk about her "fat".
The only way to make things better is to accept and love yourself, so you never have to feel bad. Learn to love your body, but more importantly the person beneath it. If you are around people who are only interested in superficial appearances, well, then perhaps you just need new friends.0 -
*looks sideways*Of course. That's how we women are -- always competing with each other for men and stuff. Can't trust us. Nope. Not at all.
Girls are the enemy. Didn't you get the memo?
Are you talking to me? What are you after? You want my man and my shoes, don't you????
Pshhhhh. Nah. I'm just here to crush you. And then take your man and heels.0 -
I think you have deep seeded emotional issues that need to be addressed..
I really do not see what the other chick did, besides looking hot...0 -
I KNEW IT!
*looks sideways*Of course. That's how we women are -- always competing with each other for men and stuff. Can't trust us. Nope. Not at all.
Girls are the enemy. Didn't you get the memo?
Are you talking to me? What are you after? You want my man and my shoes, don't you????
Pshhhhh. Nah. I'm just here to crush you. And then take your man and heels.0 -
2. I DEFINITELY wanted to be the center of attention! HELL YES!!! I am amazing look at me. I even started to throw around how much weight I had lost and how hard I am working SMH. I wanted all eyes to be on me in front of J! That was the entire point. So I agree that it looks like I wanted all the adoration because I DID! This chick definitely stole my shine, and most of it was because I handed it to her as quickly as possible. Because I am such the home girl I told Josh that she is lovely and beautiful etc. again GIVING AWAY MY SHINE and just giving up.
This is why you don't get along with other women and why they don't like you.
There is no other reason.0 -
2. I DEFINITELY wanted to be the center of attention! HELL YES!!! I am amazing look at me. I even started to throw around how much weight I had lost and how hard I am working SMH. I wanted all eyes to be on me in front of J! That was the entire point. So I agree that it looks like I wanted all the adoration because I DID! This chick definitely stole my shine, and most of it was because I handed it to her as quickly as possible. Because I am such the home girl I told Josh that she is lovely and beautiful etc. again GIVING AWAY MY SHINE and just giving up.
This is why you don't get along with other women and why they don't like you.
There is no other reason.
I explained why I do not get along with other women ... Like I said before I did want to be the center of attention because 5 minutes before I left the house it was a solo date so DUH it should be all about you and the person that you are going out with ... it doesnt have to be all eyes on me when there are other ppl there ...0 -
2. I DEFINITELY wanted to be the center of attention! HELL YES!!! I am amazing look at me. I even started to throw around how much weight I had lost and how hard I am working SMH. I wanted all eyes to be on me in front of J! That was the entire point. So I agree that it looks like I wanted all the adoration because I DID! This chick definitely stole my shine, and most of it was because I handed it to her as quickly as possible. Because I am such the home girl I told Josh that she is lovely and beautiful etc. again GIVING AWAY MY SHINE and just giving up.
This is why you don't get along with other women and why they don't like you.
There is no other reason.
JUST TO CATCH YOU UP SINCE YOU SEEM TO HAVE MISSED IT ...
1. I am “always the home girl”. I have a lot of guy friends and I wouldn’t say I am a girly girl. I was a huge tom boy growing up. Typically girls didn’t like me because I was hanging out with their dating interest (MUCH LIKE IN THIS CASE *light bulb*). Women have usually been really mean about my weight, shape, hair, nails etc. I don’t have a lot of female friends mainly because I cannot stand drama, cat fights, back stabbing, and gossip. I won’t say that I don’t like myself because I don’t like women. I just have never really gotten along with most of the women that I have met besides a select few, meaning 4!0 -
Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.0
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For me, I'm self conscious around other females. And it causes a lot of anxiety with me because I feel like I am nothing. But what started to help me was realizing that most of it was from when my mom pounded crap into my head. And yes, I have always been overweight, but I can't let that continue to stop me from who i can be.
With being a dance minor, my self image has been a test for me. A lot of the girls in my classes are skinner then me, but I also have to remember that I had a baby almost 2 years ago and that I am the thinnest and lightest that I have been in my adult life. I also remember that some of them can't lift as much as I do, run, do Insanity, be a wife, mom, etc. It takes a lot for me to watch my dance moves in the mirror because of how I let my body control my thinking, but at the end of the day, I can still modern dance/hip hop pretty well for a 25 year old mom.
Moral of the story: think positive, and change the thinking.0 -
Please talk to someone about this... like professional-wise.
Again, some of these responses are uncalled for. We all have issues. How we choose to deal with them is our business. If you don't want help, then don't. OP knows she has self esteem issues as she clearly points out in her rant. She's learning from her mistake and that's what life is all about. I think she's brave for opening up about it.0 -
JUST TO CATCH YOU UP SINCE YOU SEEM TO HAVE MISSED IT ...
1. I am “always the home girl”. I have a lot of guy friends and I wouldn’t say I am a girly girl. I was a huge tom boy growing up. Typically girls didn’t like me because I was hanging out with their dating interest (MUCH LIKE IN THIS CASE *light bulb*).
But that wasn't the case here. This girl wasn't mean to you. You decided you didn't like her because she was invited to your meet up, not the other way around....Women have usually been really mean about my weight, shape, hair, nails etc. I don’t have a lot of female friends mainly because I cannot stand drama, cat fights, back stabbing, and gossip. I won’t say that I don’t like myself because I don’t like women. I just have never really gotten along with most of the women that I have met besides a select few, meaning 4!
Are they being mean or are you anticipating they are going to be mean and then warping everything they say into a personal attack?0
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