The thread where people give really bad running advice!

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  • blackcloud13
    blackcloud13 Posts: 654 Member
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    Carb loading and hydration all at once? You can't beat 8 beers a night every night for the two weeks running up to the big race ...
  • upsidedownjelly
    upsidedownjelly Posts: 52
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    There is a firm cutoff for pace between joggers and runners. If you run any slower than an 8min mile, you must only refer to yourself as a jogger.


    Real runners never have days where they hate every second of their workout and just want it to be over from the minute it starts. If you experience this, running probably isn't the sport for you.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    OMG. I have been thinking about running again. I am so glad I found this thread. Thank-you all so much for the great advice. I wouldn't want to look like a dork :bigsmile:

    This thread is killing me :flowerforyou:
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    You - are - Captain - Jack - Sparrow.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    There is a firm cutoff for pace between joggers and runners. If you run any slower than an 8min mile, you must only refer to yourself as a jogger.


    Real runners never have days where they hate every second of their workout and just want it to be over from the minute it starts. If you experience this, running probably isn't the sport for you.

    Corellarly, real runners love running the first time their foot hits the ground. If you want to run, but tried it a few times and couldn't get it figured out (it hurt and you couldn't breathe after the first minute) you should give up and find something you actually enjoy. A progressive conditioning program really isn't for you.
  • _Calypso_
    _Calypso_ Posts: 1,074 Member
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    Try a new pre-race fuel the day of!

    I learned this one the hard way. :(
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
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    EAT everything you want before you go out - you'll need the fuel for endurance. yikes!!!
  • MrsBingley
    MrsBingley Posts: 145
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    I got Pumas at the swap meet for $10. The cardboard interior really lets my feet breathe. #bargain

    Edited for typo
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Women should not run. They will gain too much muscle in their thighs and calves and will look like men.

    Also, their uteri might fall out.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Try a new pre-race fuel the day of!

    I learned this one the hard way. :(

    Me too! That's why I posted it!
  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
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    When you realize some teenager is going to beat you in a half-marathon, feel free to trip them.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Wool is the best material for running clothes.
    I actually do wear wool socks, gloves, hat, and cowl when I'm running in really cold weather.

    What, nobody heard of Ibex??
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    Only ever wear nylon, nylon teeshirt, nylon bottoms, nylon socks, running shoes made of nylon, nylon bra and nylon underwear, it keeps you warm and is cooling in the summer.

    Don't forget now, nylon EVERYTHING
  • alienaliens
    alienaliens Posts: 64 Member
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    Its nice to have some fun!
  • ajaxe432
    ajaxe432 Posts: 608 Member
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    During your first 5 k, when that gun shot fires run as fast as you can leaving everyone behind you. This will ensure that you have a good chance of winning.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I'm not a runner, so that makes me perfect for giving advice! I suggest going completely barefoot, with no minimalist shoes, running on sharp gravel (you need to do that to toughen up your feet), as fast as you can, no need to worry about good form. Also make sure it is winter and extremely cold. If there is ice on the ground that is even better. It also helps if you purposefully hyperventilate. And don't wear anything to keep your ears warm. People with cold, painful ears burn more calories and run faster.
  • DaveMurphy6
    DaveMurphy6 Posts: 129 Member
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    We actually have a pub run next month..5k and stops at 5 different bars for beer. The money raised goes to the Healthy Kids program. Its been an event for about 10 years.

    Surprisingly we don"t get more than 50 runners.(hahahahah)
  • Springfield1970
    Springfield1970 Posts: 1,945 Member
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    Print up a 10k plan from Runners World and stick it on the wall. Follow it no matter how much pain you're in or how badly injured you may or may not be, I mean-it's been designed by experts right? Then take up swimming while your hip flexors recover for about 4 months and you've spent your life savings at the physio! Yey for running!! Woohoo for those pain masking endorphins!
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
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    as a reward, start your first race with brand new shoes...no need to break them in.

    Haha, I llike this one

    I must admit i do this with Trail shoes as there are none locally.

    My tip is to drink a least a gallon of water before hand as all that sloshing will help you run faster.
  • jeepyj93
    jeepyj93 Posts: 392 Member
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    This thread starts out saying" get some real good cotton socks" I say get them in black and make sure they come up just under mid calf. You'll look so cool everyone will be intimated by you.

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