The thread where people give really bad running advice!

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  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Your first ever fitness/running goal should be to complete a marathon ...

    Marathon? Pshhaw. Couch to marathon is nice and all, but anyone with even a bit of fitness should start with Couch to Ultra.

    A trail ultra in 16 weeks. For realz.
  • Ejourneys
    Ejourneys Posts: 1,603 Member
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    As you run, windmill your arms to power you through all that air, the way those paddles powered steamboats through the mighty Mississippi.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    as a reward, start your first race with brand new shoes...no need to break them in.

    Well, you shouldn't need to 'break in' a good pair of running shoes. But certainly don't wear a brand you've never worn before! Or wait! Yes do! (I forgot the purpose of this thread).

    The concept of "breaking in" 11 ounces of nylon mesh and rubber is amusing.

    Or maybe people are running in heels and boots?
  • moveyourself
    moveyourself Posts: 40
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    okay here's what you do-
    the night before, make sure you eat 100 prunes, 20 bowls of oatmeal, 5 glasses of prune juice, and 2 laxatives.
    and make sure you dress in many, many layers for the run.
    also, don't wear shoes. they're overrated.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    okay here's what you do-
    the night before, make sure you eat 100 prunes, 20 bowls of oatmeal, 5 glasses of prune juice, and 2 laxatives.

    And wear white basketball shorts. (Saw this guy at my first 5 mile).
  • Cheeky_and_Geeky
    Cheeky_and_Geeky Posts: 984 Member
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    Shoes are HIGHLY overrated. Check out Payless for any good deals, but don't pay more than $15 for your shoes.


    Whoa whoa whoa, I got my running shoes at Payless!
  • meb0407
    meb0407 Posts: 492
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    Meal of choice before running 10+ miles: Chicken enchiladas with lots of cheese sauce covering a bed of Mexican rice... don't forget the hot salsa!
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Take at least 2 or 3 rest days for every day you run.
    this is what I unintentionally do for real :(

    I do this too, but that's because of my knees.

    80 degree weather, wear a sweatshirt
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    Whoa whoa whoa, I got my running shoes at Payless!

    And that's where you went wrong!

    There are only 2 kinds of shoes that are appropriate to wear while running:
    1. $100+ super supportive shoes and
    2. $100+ shoes with no support whatsoever.

    Anything else is crazy talk and should be met with all of the derision you can muster.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    Women shouldn't run, your uterus will fall right out!
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    If you are running on a track, go in the opposite direction as everybody else. You are not a sheep.

    At a race too don't forget! Always start at the finish!!
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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    If you running a road coarse primarily on the left side of the road that has a crown, its recommended that you wear two left shoes. Right shoes only for right side. Don't get these mixed up or you will continuously run into the curb.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Listen to me as I describe the one correct foot strike!
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Second place is the first loser.
  • essjay76
    essjay76 Posts: 465 Member
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    For your first marathon, make sure you wear the race shirt they give you in your goodie bag. You want to make sure everyone knows you are running a marathon.

    Wondering what time to aim for for your first marathon? Easy! Just double your half marathon time! Sure, that 1:57 half guarantees that you'll come in at 3:59:59 for your marathon! It's ONLY two half marathons to run! You can do it! :smile:
  • essjay76
    essjay76 Posts: 465 Member
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    If you want to run fast, make sure you're sprinting all out all the time. People want to be impressed by your paces you post on MFP, DailyMile, Runkeeper, etc.

    Also, make sure you keep improving your pace by at least a minute. If you started running a week ago at an 11 minute mile, you're a loser if you're not running an 8 minute mile by now!!
  • beattie1
    beattie1 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    Sorry, just bumping, wish I had something to contribute! :drinker:
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    Run on a full stomach that way you do not have to eat back the calories
  • AlessisMore
    AlessisMore Posts: 179 Member
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    You'll want a good fanny pack for your first 5k. Make sure to pack: power gels, salt packets, runners lube, blister blocks, extra gloves and socks. And of course your phone so you can snap pix and send to Facebook at every mile marker. Also get a bottle holder for energy drink.

    Racing alone is boring so bring your 3 best friends or co-workers and make it a gossip-fest! Everyone behind you definitely wants to hear all your office dirt.
  • betterrunfaster
    betterrunfaster Posts: 32
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    Swing your arms across your midsection while twisting back and forth while running. This builds abs.

    My husband told me this.

    It's how he runs.

    We don't run together.

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