The thread where people give really bad running advice!

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  • kaybeau
    kaybeau Posts: 198 Member
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    ignore those shin splints and run them off who needs ice?
  • kaybeau
    kaybeau Posts: 198 Member
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    Only ever wear nylon, nylon teeshirt, nylon bottoms, nylon socks, running shoes made of nylon, nylon bra and nylon underwear, it keeps you warm and is cooling in the summer.

    Don't forget now, nylon EVERYTHING
    cracking advice and you can get free electric shocks too
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
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    Always follow the 10% rule when increasing your mileage.

    If you ran a 5 miler last week, you'll be fine to go 5.5 miles. If you run ONE STEP over 5.5 miles, your hamstrings will tear and both your ankles will break - guaranteed, it's just good science!
  • latewinter
    latewinter Posts: 90
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    sorry i cant resist

    Gimli - 'Breath that's the key breath,'
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
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    Only ever wear nylon, nylon teeshirt, nylon bottoms, nylon socks, running shoes made of nylon, nylon bra and nylon underwear, it keeps you warm and is cooling in the summer.

    Don't forget now, nylon EVERYTHING
    cracking advice and you can get free electric shocks too

    Make sure you touch everyone you pass - the electric shocks will help them run faster too.
  • juniperfox
    juniperfox Posts: 127 Member
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    I'm not a runner, so that makes me perfect for giving advice! I suggest going completely barefoot, with no minimalist shoes, running on sharp gravel (you need to do that to toughen up your feet),

    I already do this :)
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    Only ever wear nylon, nylon teeshirt, nylon bottoms, nylon socks, running shoes made of nylon, nylon bra and nylon underwear, it keeps you warm and is cooling in the summer.

    Don't forget now, nylon EVERYTHING
    cracking advice and you can get free electric shocks too
    Free perm for anybody you pass and touch too :happy:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    If you wake up nine days before a 5k with a pain in the base of your fifth metatarsal...(one that was preceded by absolutely no activity at all...and only hurts when you walk normally on it (but not when you run or walk on your forefoot)...and doesn't hurt at all for the first 10-12 steps after sitting for a few minutes)...

    ...you should go ahead and run the race. You'll probably be okay.


    Wait...this is actually what I'm doing with a race on Thursday morning...so I'll know just how bad this advice is in a couple of days.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Make sure if you are running on the treadmill in the winter time that your ear buds are NOT rubber. The static electricity shocks in your ears help you run faster!
  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
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    Everyone knows how good prunes are for you. 8oz the night before your race. 8oz the morning of your race. You will run!
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    Never mind what the race director says on the megaphone before the race, it's fine to be right up front as a walker. The runners can just go around you. Make sure you stay in a line with your buddies - don't want to get lonely!

    Quit running because it's bad for your knees.

    Wearing a running skirt makes you a "fake" runner. You can't possibly be a "real" runner in a running skirt.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    There is such a thing as a "real" runner.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Portapotties are clean, fresh and have plenty of tissue at every race.
  • rachaelbarton
    rachaelbarton Posts: 57 Member
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    Carbload with pizza and beer the night before. You'll need the energy.
  • lorcher04
    lorcher04 Posts: 1
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    If you're running a marathon, sprint all out the first mile.
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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    Running a 5k with your kids? March those 8-year-olds right up to the front**! You need pictures of them at the starting line, and races line up in height order, after all

    **this happened at my Turkey Trot.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    If you wake up nine days before a 5k with a pain in the base of your fifth metatarsal...(one that was preceded by absolutely no activity at all...and only hurts when you walk normally on it (but not when you run or walk on your forefoot)...and doesn't hurt at all for the first 10-12 steps after sitting for a few minutes)...

    ...you should go ahead and run the race. You'll probably be okay.


    Wait...this is actually what I'm doing with a race on Thursday morning...so I'll know just how bad this advice is in a couple of days.

    That ended up not being the bad advice I thought it might be. Race went fine. Could barely walk the rest of the day, but four days later, I'm more recovered than I was the day before the race. Unexpected...awesome, because human bodies are weird, but still entirely unexpected.
    Never mind what the race director says on the megaphone before the race, it's fine to be right up front as a walker. The runners can just go around you. Make sure you stay in a line with your buddies - don't want to get lonely!

    True story. According to the chip stats, I went four minutes after the gun. 20 finishers in either direction of my finish time went off about 30-45 seconds after gun. I thought 2/3 back in the pack was appropriate for my expected 8:30ish time. I was wrong. I ran a serious game of walker slalom for the first full mile...sidewalks, medians, grassy shoulders, I was all over them from side to side dodging angry walkers trying to walk SIX ACROSS with their buddies. I'm pretty sure I saw some of these walker groups holding hands. After the first mile, I then changed the game to runner slalom as apparently a bunch of 12-14 pace runners were smarter enough to start in front of the walkers. Somewhere around 2.5 miles in, I could run in a mostly straight line for the first time in the race.

    TL;DR - Next year, I won't necessarily be on the start line...but I'll be a whole lot closer to it.

    ETA: I actually LedOL as some of the walkers were audibly complaining about all of the runners passing them.
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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    If you wake up nine days before a 5k with a pain in the base of your fifth metatarsal...(one that was preceded by absolutely no activity at all...and only hurts when you walk normally on it (but not when you run or walk on your forefoot)...and doesn't hurt at all for the first 10-12 steps after sitting for a few minutes)...

    ...you should go ahead and run the race. You'll probably be okay.


    Wait...this is actually what I'm doing with a race on Thursday morning...so I'll know just how bad this advice is in a couple of days.

    That ended up not being the bad advice I thought it might be. Race went fine. Could barely walk the rest of the day, but four days later, I'm more recovered than I was the day before the race. Unexpected...awesome, because human bodies are weird, but still entirely unexpected.
    Never mind what the race director says on the megaphone before the race, it's fine to be right up front as a walker. The runners can just go around you. Make sure you stay in a line with your buddies - don't want to get lonely!

    True story. According to the chip stats, I went four minutes after the gun. 20 finishers in either direction of my finish time went off about 30-45 seconds after gun. I thought 2/3 back in the pack was appropriate for my expected 8:30ish time. I was wrong. I ran a serious game of walker slalom for the first full mile...sidewalks, medians, grassy shoulders, I was all over them from side to side dodging angry walkers trying to walk SIX ACROSS with their buddies. I'm pretty sure I saw some of these walker groups holding hands. After the first mile, I then changed the game to runner slalom as apparently a bunch of 12-14 pace runners were smarter enough to start in front of the walkers. Somewhere around 2.5 miles in, I could run in a mostly straight line for the first time in the race.

    TL;DR - Next year, I won't necessarily be on the start line...but I'll be a whole lot closer to it.

    ETA: I actually LedOL as some of the walkers were audibly complaining about all of the runners passing them.

    I am legit curious as to why people try to line up so close to the start when they plan on walking. There were two families with little kids crowding the start line of my Turkey Trot (it wasn't a small race either, 2000+ people were there). The mother heard all of the people chatting about pacing, and times. She even told her kids to stay close to her so they didn't get run over by the racers. I couldn't help but think "Lady, why don't you get your kids out of here? Surely you are not planning on them running a 16-minute 5k. Maybe let that guy go ahead of you".
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Yeah. I should have started about five feet further up. 10ks are so much easier. I hang out in the back and mosey toward the start when the gun goes off.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I still argue that it would make more sense to funnel/bottleneck the start to have more of a manageable stream...instead of the 12-across they had.

    It probably made things even worse that people were initially lining up on the wrong side of the start line as the course was backwards from last year.

    Nah, people are still stupid. "Let me and Bowser, my cute little puppy on a 25 yard retractable leash get up here at the front so we don't have to wait for all of these runners to get out of our way when they start the race."

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