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    The thread where people give really bad running advice!

    1246789

    Replies

    • Posts: 179
      People love running with dogs, so bring all of yours.... especially to the REALLY large races. You'll make lots and lots of friends.
    • Posts: 160 Member
      This whole thing is cracking me up!
    • Posts: 5,481 Member
      Trip people so you can win.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      Couch to 5k runners should repeat Week 4 until they feel ready for the 20 minute run.
    • Posts: 390 Member
      Run on all fours... It works for cheetahs...
    • Posts: 220 Member
      Running at anything slower than race-pace isn't making you faster.
      Go all out, or don't run.
    • Posts: 179
      For the women...... stopping in the middle of the race course to pee is perfectly acceptable behavior as long as you don't leave your used toilet paper on the road.
    • Posts: 2,717 Member
      Headphones for music are so last year. Wear Bluetooth speakers so everyone can listen to your inspirational music!
    • Posts: 390 Member
      Jump the gun. Take shourtcut's - as many as possible, it's fine no one will ever know...
    • Posts: 146 Member
      You can measure the temperature by looking outside through your window and then dress according to what it looks like. Don't bother checking the actual weather forecast.

      (I do this all the freaking time though and end up with way too much or little to wear, duh :laugh:)
    • Posts: 179
      During a race, you can save time by drafting off of the guy ahead of you.... but you gotta be reaaalllly close..... like "bumping uglies" close.
    • Posts: 22,505 Member
      Train on the elliptical whenever possible. Remember to keep your arms in same position as they are on the machine and mimic the movement during the race.
    • Posts: 390 Member
      Screw the full race.. Wait 100 meters from the finish line, Jump on the leader like a lion, bring them down, rob their clothes\number, and win the race
    • Posts: 6,553 Member
      Wear the clothes you plan to run in the race all week prior and work hard. Don't wash your clothes for the race tho. You need to keep that good work ethic vibe you built up all week.
    • Posts: 390 Member
      Before you race, Drink at least 10 pints of Lager, 10 shots, 10 vodka's, and 10 whisky's, The last thing you want is to be cold and dehydrated
    • Posts: 341 Member
      Don't waste time running outside! Running on the treadmill is exactly the same, but with easy TV access!

      I have to do this in crappy (non warm weather) due to bad asthma :/
      I feel so "less than" right now.
    • Posts: 62 Member
      Eat at least a gallon of oatmeal the day before and morning of the run.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      Skip the last half of your marathon by cabbing it to the finish line. You might set a new course record.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      show previous quotes

      I have to do this in crappy (non warm weather) due to bad asthma :/
      I feel so "less than" right now.

      So do I.
    • Posts: 221 Member
      The day before you run, go break you squat\deadlift PR by at least 20lb's, then do 100 rep drops sets. Reward yourself with a nice Vindaloo

      This actually made me double over in lolz :laugh:
    • Posts: 1,008 Member
      Go get XYZ shoes because they are perfect for me.

      Always run more and faster. Slow running is bad for you.
    • Posts: 2 Member
      Never ever walk during a run. If you walk at all....you're not a real runner.
    • Posts: 5,481 Member
      The best place to buy a good pair of running shoes is Walmart.
    • Posts: 9,248 Member
      Start your first 5K (even if you're pushing a stroller) from the very first corral. The elites don't mind going around you and your 3 friends while you walk and hold hands......
    • Posts: 1,432 Member
      Alternate going forward and backwards to stretch out your muscles and confuse them for maximum calorie burn!

      Wool is the best material for running clothes.
    • Posts: 9,420 Member
      Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels
    • Posts: 1,603 Member
      Shoes, smooze, run barefoot like our ancestors did.

      Hey, worked for Zola Budd!

      But enough about all those racing clothes; jeans are just fine. Skinny jeans, even. Heck, leather!
    • Posts: 325 Member
      The first thing you should do as a new runner is HIIT and Tabata intervals - every day.
    • Posts: 22,511 Member
      Your first ever fitness/running goal should be to complete a marathon ...

      Marathon? Pshhaw. Couch to marathon is nice and all, but anyone with even a bit of fitness should start with Couch to Ultra.
    • Posts: 34,415 Member
      I've had a foot problem near the base of my fifth metatarsal that started four days ago...and it started two days after my last run...so maybe everyone should just do what I've done for real...even though I thought I was being reasonable in my approach. *shrug*
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