Honesty About How You Lost Your Weight

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Luv2Smile55
Luv2Smile55 Posts: 133 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I am struggling with lying issues when it comes to being truthful about how you lost your weight. My sister recently underwent a gastric sleeve surgery. In 5 months time she lost over a hundred pounds. Obviously people see the weight dropping off of her and wonder how she did it. I believe in being honest and would have said that I had gastric surgery. She simply smiles and says she lost it following a low carb diet. SO not true. What she should have said is that she had 80% of her stomach removed and because of this she ate 300 calories a day for months and THAT'S how she lost it.

Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?
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Replies

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    Yeah, totally gotta admit that if I knew someone like your sister who was (as I see it) blatantly lying, it would really bother me a lot. I would not "call them out on it" in front of others, but I would have a *little* loss of respect for that person and I'd probably comment to them privately (depending on the relationship).

    I do think it is fine if someone doesn't want to disclose the details as it's a personal matter. But to lie is quite different, in my opinion.

    Sort of a different topic, but I also find it rather irritating when someone has weight loss surgery and chooses to gloss over any negatives about it. Because of a former job I held in the disabilities field, I met many people who had (long ago and very recent) botched gastric bypass, sleeve, etc, and have SERIOUS medical problems stemming from those surgeries. Meanwhile, I've only known a couple of people in my personal life who have had similar surgeries and while they experienced some pretty bad side effects too, they usually present it to others like it was very easy & wonderful. I think maybe this happens due to there being some stigma about it. I dunno. But it bugs me.

    (I haven't had anything like that myself, just talking about the people I've met and spoken to about it)
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
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    I joined the gym and got a trainer so I'd know exactly what I needed to do to get in shape. I started eating healthy (tried eating clean for a while). Once I joined MFP and am able to log all my food and exercise I've been very succesful with my weight loss.
    People who lie about how/why they lost weight will see nothing but disappointment down the road when they gain it back. Unless you change your lifestyle and become healthy in your mind it won't work.
  • TheSaoirseTree
    TheSaoirseTree Posts: 26 Member
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    Maybe she's afraid of people's reaction to it. (Not that it makes it ok to bs everyone.)

    If anything, help her to see that there's nothing to be ashamed of. She doesn't have to lie in order to keep it quiet. She could just smile and say she lost it by putting in hard work.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
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    I don't really care what OTHER people say. If they're lying, it'll only end up biting them in the butt.

    If it were me, and someone asked, I'd be honest.

    Then again, I'm a sharer.
  • shred_me_up
    shred_me_up Posts: 267 Member
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    Well I initially lost weight in unhealthy ways (i.e eating almost nothing) so when people asked I said I was running a lot >< but that ship has sailed. A lot of people feel embarassed about it, i dont think its really an issue.
  • freenah
    freenah Posts: 6
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    It would bother me a lot!

    The one thing I try not to give too many details is how aggressively I'm trying to lose weight. Words like low-carb or slow-carb and high protein ring the fad diet alarm bells in some people and I really am not interested in having a judgemental conversation with anyone.
  • ckspores1018
    ckspores1018 Posts: 168 Member
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    It bothers me when people have surgery to improve their look or fitness and then lie about it. I don't judge; if you feel that the only way you can lose weight and be healthy is with a surgery, go for it. But at least own your decision.

    The same goes for cosmetic surgery. You had a facelift. You aren't simply "getting more rest" and "drinking more water." At least be adult enough to take responsibility for your actions.
  • MYhealthyjourney70
    MYhealthyjourney70 Posts: 276 Member
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    You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with others. Maybe she's conviced herself about how she lost her weight. Maybe she is ashamed of how she lost it, which she shouldn't be. My mom had gastric bypass surgery and she looks great. Sit down with her and talk to her about and hear her explanation..
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
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    why lie.. the truth is far more entertaining...

    I love the look when I say, I just watched what I eat now and do some exercising.. nothing special, nothing magical... just simple..

    they always stop and look like the minion from dispicable me... WHHHAAAATTTT??? like they're waiting for the punchline or some magic secret to be revealed.
  • Luv2Smile55
    Luv2Smile55 Posts: 133 Member
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    You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with others. Maybe she's conviced herself about how she lost her weight. Maybe she is ashamed of how she lost it, which she shouldn't be. My mom had gastric bypass surgery and she looks great. Sit down with her and talk to her about and hear her explanation..

    Unfortunately she thinks lying is fine. When I said something to her she got super defensive and has no plans of "owning" what she did. I guess she thinks people are gullible enough to believe her "story." NO one loses weight THAT quickly without starving or surgery.
  • Domane1963
    Domane1963 Posts: 85 Member
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    Why doesn't she want people to know she had surgery?

    When people ask me "What is your secret?" I reply honestly "No secret - I ate less, exercised more and didn't cheat!"
  • RonnieLodge
    RonnieLodge Posts: 665 Member
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    I am struggling with lying issues when it comes to being truthful about how you lost your weight. My sister recently underwent a gastric sleeve surgery. In 5 months time she lost over a hundred pounds. Obviously people see the weight dropping off of her and wonder how she did it. I believe in being honest and would have said that I had gastric surgery. She simply smiles and says she lost it following a low carb diet. SO not true. What she should have said is that she had 80% of her stomach removed and because of this she ate 300 calories a day for months and THAT'S how she lost it.

    Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?

    Well it is *kind* of true - no doubt with only having 20% of her tummy left, she will be having to pick low carb foods or risk an upset/vomiting. So it probably is a little bit of truth.

    Perhaps she just finds it easier to say it was through diet rather than surgery because people can be judgy?

    In the grand scheme of things, there are much worse things to be dishonest about.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    It bothers me when people have surgery to improve their look or fitness and then lie about it. I don't judge; if you feel that the only way you can lose weight and be healthy is with a surgery, go for it. But at least own your decision.

    The same goes for cosmetic surgery. You had a facelift. You aren't simply "getting more rest" and "drinking more water." At least be adult enough to take responsibility for your actions.

    I really agree with this! I'd say you may feel a bit more strongly about it than I do, but I agree wholeheartedly.
  • ktsimons
    ktsimons Posts: 294 Member
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    I lost 50 pounds in 4 months following a very low calorie -doctor-monitored weight loss plan. I used to smile sweetly and say I did it watching my calories - 800 of them a day.

    Now that I realize what kind of damage I did to my body with this rediculous diet, I make a point to explain it in a more negative light...stating that while the diet was fairly easy for me at the time, I feel that it ultimately hurt me by messing up my metabolism and causing the loss of so much muscle mass. I then explain that to keep the weight OFF (almost a year - yay) I count calories on MFP and weight train/cardio to maintain...that works much better for a life long way of living.
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
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    it would totally bother me. With all the struggles I've gone through, they shouldn't be making it seems like a cake walk. it's not. Regardless of how. It helps set others up for failure. Most likely she doesn't want to admit to herself that she couldn't do it on her own and had to resort to a dangerous medical procedure. She doesn't have to tell people that, but she doesn't have to lie either. I work my butt of for what i've got now. I don't like to talk too much about it or how I started on this journey or why i did outside of this community, but I do not lie about it. I've been so vague as to say "circumstances in my life lead me here". When I have told my story to people, I get a lot of sympathy and a lot of worried faces and fake pats on the back.. or my favorite.. "well you'll gain it back if you're not careful.. most people. do. " So a lot of the time I just don't say anything. Of I'm just really vague. I eat healthy.. which is true. :)
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    It would bother me. When you are looking for encouragement and someone lies about how they lost the weight so quickly, it kind of sets you back mentally. To hear someone be praised for something they didn't do is discouraging. If she chose weight loss surgery that's her perogative. She should hold to her convictions and not worry about what people may say.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,619 Member
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    People hide truth lots of time because of embarrasment or judgement from others when it comes to weight loss. Not sticking up for it, just observing on why people do it.
    If someone here was using a thermogenic or dietary aid of some sort and no one would every find out about it, wouldn't many consider it "cheating"?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • BenjaminMFP88
    BenjaminMFP88 Posts: 660 Member
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    I don't expect much from anyone, so I don't think it would bother me.
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
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    What she says is her business....and none of mine....even if she's not telling the truth. It's really her issue. Then I would just let it go and eat some cheesecake or something.
  • KathreneW
    KathreneW Posts: 66 Member
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    I think lying is wrong regardless of what it is about. If you are a liar, then what else deceitful are you going to do?

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