Honesty About How You Lost Your Weight

RosaliaBee

Maybe her surgery is nobody's business but hers?

I'm instinctively a truthful person, I think most people are when confronted with a direct question. But to be frank, if someone asks you a personal question, there's no reason to feel obliged to tell them whatever it is they want to know.

It's taken me a long time to figure this out. And a lot of salespeople ringing my phone and knocking on my door to realise that just because someone asks you a personal question, you're not obliged to tell them sh1t.

Luv2Smile55

I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

Luv2Smile55

I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

I totally agree. It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me. We are Christians and setting others up for failure is what really bothers me. Her "lying" let's others believe that if they "cut their carbs" they too will have her success. SO not true. The real reason she lost weight and lost it so quickly is because she now only has 20% of her stomach left. Eating 300 calories a day or less is what got her to where she is. Yes, it's true that the surgery enabled her to eat so little. SO ... all of this being said, she should own what she did, be proud of herself but BE HONEST about how she did it. Don't set others up for failure because simply following a low carb diet won't make you lose over 100 pounds in 5 months. Enough said.

pawoodhull

I had the Gastric Sleeve. I was and still am very honest about it. When I was making the plans to be out of the office for my surgery I told everyone in the office and all the branch managers I supported what I was doing. My decision to do this was a 5 year process. I did my research, I knew this was the only way for me, so I was and am very comfortable talking about it. And I think it's stupid to try and hide weight loss surgery. Everyone knows when you start losing a huge amount of weight fast what you did. I mean, come on! I am 2+ years out from surgery and still have 75 pounds to lose and let me tell you, it is really slow now. But the truth is the surgery was the best thing I ever did for myself and I am still happy to talk about it. It's not for everyone, but it is for me and I'm proud of my decision.

MercenaryNoetic26

I would see right through a response like that. Don't think others that know her enough, buy that she (only/just) stopped eating carbs. Anyway, let her live in imaginary world.

JenniTheVeggie

Yeah, totally gotta admit that if I knew someone like your sister who was (as I see it) blatantly lying, it would really bother me a lot. I would not "call them out on it" in front of others, but I would have a *little* loss of respect for that person and I'd probably comment to them privately (depending on the relationship).

I do think it is fine if someone doesn't want to disclose the details as it's a personal matter. But to lie is quite different, in my opinion.

Sort of a different topic, but I also find it rather irritating when someone has weight loss surgery and chooses to gloss over any negatives about it. Because of a former job I held in the disabilities field, I met many people who had (long ago and very recent) botched gastric bypass, sleeve, etc, and have SERIOUS medical problems stemming from those surgeries. Meanwhile, I've only known a couple of people in my personal life who have had similar surgeries and while they experienced some pretty bad side effects too, they usually present it to others like it was very easy & wonderful. I think maybe this happens due to there being some stigma about it. I dunno. But it bugs me.

(I haven't had anything like that myself, just talking about the people I've met and spoken to about it)

I 100% agree with this. Are you going to talk to her about it?

teamAmelia

I am struggling with lying issues when it comes to being truthful about how you lost your weight. My sister recently underwent a gastric sleeve surgery. In 5 months time she lost over a hundred pounds. Obviously people see the weight dropping off of her and wonder how she did it. I believe in being honest and would have said that I had gastric surgery. She simply smiles and says she lost it following a low carb diet. SO not true. What she should have said is that she had 80% of her stomach removed and because of this she ate 300 calories a day for months and THAT'S how she lost it.

Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?

I'm a very private person, so I can understand why your sister "lied" about her very private medical procedure. It's nobody's business. These days, I would never ask someone how they lost weight - unless they're on this site. They could be sick for all I know. Not my business.

prattiger65

Honesty may be a good policy but it is also none of any one's business and if people want to ask intrusive and invasive questions, I see no reason to give them all the gory details of what I'm going through with my surgery. I have no intention of lying but at the same time, just as I don't tell people the specifics of how I am not in debt, I am not about to tell them the specifics of how I lose weight.

Its flat out rude to ask questions like that. To say that she's lying because she doesn't want to answer may not describe the entire picture. A lot of people feel shame because they had surgery. You can feel like a failure, like you didn't do it the 'right' way. For her or for others like her, it could bring up a host of issues they are still dealing with themselves.

It is terribly judgmental to decide with blanket statements that some one is lying when it may be as simple as refusing to tell every one with a nose problem the details of your life.

+1000

prattiger65

I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

I totally agree. It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me. We are Christians and setting others up for failure is what really bothers me. Her "lying" let's others believe that if they "cut their carbs" they too will have her success. SO not true. The real reason she lost weight and lost it so quickly is because she now only has 20% of her stomach left. Eating 300 calories a day or less is what got her to where she is. Yes, it's true that the surgery enabled her to eat so little. SO ... all of this being said, she should own what she did, be proud of herself but BE HONEST about how she did it. Don't set others up for failure because simply following a low carb diet won't make you lose over 100 pounds in 5 months. Enough said.

She isnt setting anyone up for anything. I too am a Christian and to be honest, I am struggling to find the Christ in your post? You are looking at a splinter while you have a plank. Put down your stone and perhaps show some compassion. You sound somewhat jealous honestly.

Mr_Knight

It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me.

That's not how you're acting about it. If you truly accepted that it is none of your business, you wouldn't be posting about it behind her back like this.

What you are effectively doing here is spreading gossip about your own sister.

ETA: Agree with the above poster - this smells of jealousy.

SummerLovesPhil

I'm really torn on this issue. On the one hand, I don't think lying is the way to go. On the other, I hate that people feel it's perfectly acceptable to ask really intrusive questions and readily expect an answer. I don't think your sister has any obligation to explain her medical conditions and the care she chose with anyone. If I were in her shoes, I'd simply say that I followed a plan prescribed by my doctor. No one really needs to know that that plan included surgery.

This. If you ask a question that's none of your business, you're not entitled to any answer, true or not. If somebody asks me how I lost weight, it's totally fair for me to say it was carried away by leprechauns.

saree2013

Honesty may be a good policy but it is also none of any one's business and if people want to ask intrusive and invasive questions, I see no reason to give them all the gory details of what I'm going through with my surgery. I have no intention of lying but at the same time, just as I don't tell people the specifics of how I am not in debt, I am not about to tell them the specifics of how I lose weight.

Its flat out rude to ask questions like that. To say that she's lying because she doesn't want to answer may not describe the entire picture. A lot of people feel shame because they had surgery. You can feel like a failure, like you didn't do it the 'right' way. For her or for others like her, it could bring up a host of issues they are still dealing with themselves.

It is terribly judgmental to decide with blanket statements that some one is lying when it may be as simple as refusing to tell every one with a nose problem the details of your life.

Yeah, some people have unbelievable nerve. I too am a very private person. Very closed. But I was raised to be nothing but polite to people and answer questions truthfully like a good girl should. Sometimes I will tell blatant stories just because it's no one business to question the way I live my life.

Stephanie198907

Maybe she's afraid of people's reaction to it. (Not that it makes it ok to bs everyone.)

If anything, help her to see that there's nothing to be ashamed of. She doesn't have to lie in order to keep it quiet. She could just smile and say she lost it by putting in hard work.

this

nccarolb

I totally understand your annoyance. My ex had gastric bypass last spring. He's lost 90 lbs since around April. My son has lost 60 lbs over the past year by watching what he eats (he's 17) all on his own. I've lost 60 lbs since last December by counting calories and exercising. This is all to say that I do resent the comments on how "good" he's done at losing weight. However, I am not responsible for his responses to people although I won't lie if someone asks me about this weight loss.

teamAmelia

I totally understand your annoyance. My ex had gastric bypass last spring. He's lost 90 lbs since around April. My son has lost 60 lbs over the past year by watching what he eats (he's 17) all on his own. I've lost 60 lbs since last December by counting calories and exercising. This is all to say that I do resent the comments on how "good" he's done at losing weight. However, I am not responsible for his responses to people although I won't lie if someone asks me about this weight loss.

Why would someone ask you about his weight loss? I think that since he had surgery, that becomes something that you shouldn't disclose, especially since you aren't even together anymore.

Also, I think that the fact that you felt the need to mention that you and your son lost weight without surgery is the reason that some people are shy about letting others know that they had weight loss surgery. You may not have meant to come off as judgmental, but, you did. :happy:

This. If you ask a question that's none of your business, you're not entitled to any answer, true or not. If somebody asks me how I lost weight, it's totally fair for me to say it was carried away by leprechauns.

:laugh: I'm gonna use that one.

tehboxingkitteh

I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

I totally agree. It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me. We are Christians and setting others up for failure is what really bothers me. Her "lying" let's others believe that if they "cut their carbs" they too will have her success. SO not true. The real reason she lost weight and lost it so quickly is because she now only has 20% of her stomach left. Eating 300 calories a day or less is what got her to where she is. Yes, it's true that the surgery enabled her to eat so little. SO ... all of this being said, she should own what she did, be proud of herself but BE HONEST about how she did it. Don't set others up for failure because simply following a low carb diet won't make you lose over 100 pounds in 5 months. Enough said.

I still fail to see where this has any affect on you. All I see is you worrying about others.

ETA do I detect a hint of anger, and just a bit of jealousy?

nccarolb

I did not mean to sound judgmental. My annoyance is because it is HIM. I thought that might be part of the OP's unspoken thought process. I know a number of people who have had the surgery but don't act sanctimonious about their weight loss. In answer to the question as to why people ask me; we were together for 28 years and still attend the same church for our son's benefit. And, people are just plain clueless. :-)

teamAmelia

In answer to the question as to why people ask me; we were together for 28 years and still attend the same church for our son's benefit. And, people are just plain nosy. :-)

Fixed that for ya. :laugh:

VelvetMorning

If it makes her happier to say she followed a low carb diet - whatever. It's not like she's misleading people and saying, "Oh! I didn't do anything!" and you have a group of people stuffing themselves thinking they'll have her results. I know a woman who also lied about her surgery so I'd imagine that it's a common thing; perhaps embarrassment because it's regarded as a "fat people" surgery; or perhaps ashamed they couldn't do it the hard way. Either way, she has to live her life. It'll bite her booty when she gets into a conversation with someone about it and can't hold her own. Personally, I lie about how I lost weight (veganism) - simply because it's not worth the arguments and 10,000 redundant questions ("Where's your protein?", "You can't do that it's unhealthy", etc). I lost weight to make me happy, not to become a professor of veganism :P. Maybe they feel that saying they had that surgery would spur on more grief than its worth. When people ask me about weight loss, I give them VALID DIET ALTERNATIVES. "I cut back on calories", "I exercise more", "I cut out fried foods, white foods [potatos, bread, pasta, whatever], etc"

teamAmelia

It'll bite her booty when she gets into a conversation with someone about it and can't hold her own.

I so thought this said, "I'LL bite her booty..." :laugh: :laugh: :sad: