Honesty About How You Lost Your Weight
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I find it odd that it's fine to be rude and ask things of people that are really none of anyone's business but then if the person LIES in answer to the aforementioned rude question, they are basically Hitler. Weird.
Based on the OP, the sister isn't exactly lying, she did eat low carb after her surgery. Is she required to provide her medical records to anyone who asks in order to not be labeled as a liar?
Do you fully divulge every single detail when asked a question? If not, then based on some of these replies, you sir are a LIAR.0 -
It depends who the person is ...
Sometimes I give the Peter Griffin response of "Naaah, It's still there, I'm just parting it on the other side"
Sometimes I just name a fad diet or say raspberry ketones
Sometimes I say: Self Control and Hard work.
Guess which one people have the hardest time believing ....
I find doing the first response the easiest always puts people off guard when you make a snarky comment.
I guess as far as the OP's sister it's her choice. Maybe in her mind she thinks she is following a low carb diet...who knows people think some weird things.0 -
I know someone who lost a lot of weight due to gastric bypass and she posts on Facebook about all the weight she's losing and people go "omygosh you look sooo good. how do you do it?" and it really bothers me because she doesn't disclose at ALL about what she did. I have busted my butt and I have ALWAYS been honest about the fact that I take an appetite supressant. (it's one that is made from all natural ingredients). It just bothers me and I do really judge her for it. I hope that she eventually comes clean. I feel that calorie counting and exercise is something she SHOULD have done..I did take my appetite supressant but I really watched what I ate and I workout every day and am gaining muscle and toning. She will learn that it doesn't teach her how to eat to not gain weight again. I wish I could just get full on 300 calories a day or something.0
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I am so honest about my weight loss surgery that I'm pretty sure it embarrasses at a minimum, my boyfriend, and probably most everyone I know. So honest in fact that I overheard 2 ladies talking about it in a restaurant a few months ago and pulled up a chair to talk to them about my experience with it.
It's important to be honest to others, and also to yourself. WLS is usually a last resort for people and thought it may be embarrassing to admit, it's the truth. I try to be an honest representative of the WLS community. I've had the lap band for about 5 years now, and it hasn't been easy. I had surgery to make a revision, it has hurt, I've thrown up more times than I can count, and it has been painful, but for me, it was a good solution combined with what I was already doing (healthful diet and exercise).
I'll step off my soapbox now... if anyone is thinking about getting WLS and wants to sound off/ask questions, let me know! I'm a totally open book.
(On a related note, I regularly run 3 miles/day now, and am training for a 1/2 marathon, which I never ever thought I could do. I am within 30lbs of my GW. It's been an amazing last 5 years).0 -
I am struggling with lying issues when it comes to being truthful about how you lost your weight. My sister recently underwent a gastric sleeve surgery. In 5 months time she lost over a hundred pounds. Obviously people see the weight dropping off of her and wonder how she did it. I believe in being honest and would have said that I had gastric surgery. She simply smiles and says she lost it following a low carb diet. SO not true. What she should have said is that she had 80% of her stomach removed and because of this she ate 300 calories a day for months and THAT'S how she lost it.
Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?
I lost 70lbs using MFP and then I made the choice to have gastric sleeve surgery. I don't lie about it, but I don't just offer up information about it unless someone asks, mainly because I am in general a private person. I am also not one to advocate surgery. It's a completely personal and individual decision and everyone has a different experience with it. Whatever someone chooses to do, they should own it. They don't necessarily have to be accountable to anyone, but lying, that seems like a sign of something deeper.0 -
I ALWAYS lie about how I lost the weight to IRL folks (my MFP pals know that I am working on it through diet and exercise).
If I am very fond of you, I might shrug it off by saying I go to the gym a little bit here and there. Otherwise, I will tell you that I did it by sprinkling cocaine on my oatmeal every morning. If you press me, I will tell you that I am dead serious. You will either be scared for me or annoyed at me. Either way, I don't care. But here are three things you won't do: 1. comment disapprovingly on what I ordered for lunch. 2. badger me to disclose my workout routine and then criticize it. 3. tell me 500 reasons why I had it easier than it would be for you.0 -
I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.
Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.
I totally agree. It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me. We are Christians and setting others up for failure is what really bothers me. Her "lying" let's others believe that if they "cut their carbs" they too will have her success. SO not true. The real reason she lost weight and lost it so quickly is because she now only has 20% of her stomach left. Eating 300 calories a day or less is what got her to where she is. Yes, it's true that the surgery enabled her to eat so little. SO ... all of this being said, she should own what she did, be proud of herself but BE HONEST about how she did it. Don't set others up for failure because simply following a low carb diet won't make you lose over 100 pounds in 5 months. Enough said.
I lost 100 pounds in 6 months on a low carb plan back in 2003, so its possible to do so even without surgery.0 -
I don't have a problem with it. It's personal and if she said "I'd rather not talk about it" those people boorish enough to do so, and there are a lot, would press her. "None of your effing business", is not considered socially acceptable although it is truthful.Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?
To my amazement, some people think it's somehow wrong or "cheating" to have surgery. So if she said she had surgery she'd have to tolerate those idiotic comments.
It's a social lie. I lie all the time. When my wife asks what I think of her dress, she does NOT want to hear anything other than: "It looks fantastic!" so that's what I tell her. Sometimes I am lying. Sue me.0 -
That's their own fault. They should be consulting their own doctor and not just taking medical advice from strangers. We all do the same thing on this site, but I'm pretty sure that we've all read the disclaimers, too: "Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy. " I feel the same way about things that people say IRL.The thing that bothers me most about this kind of lie is that people are going to take her "way to lose weight" to heart & it's just like taking incorrect medical advice. People are going to believe this fad low-carb diet crap because they saw someone who lost a lot of weight said that's what they did.
This is so hypocritical. You took a "natural" appetite suppressant to stop yourself from eating so much. She had surgery to stop herself from eating so much. But, you think that she should have counted calories like you did (with the help of your suppressant)?I know someone who lost a lot of weight due to gastric bypass and she posts on Facebook about all the weight she's losing and people go "omygosh you look sooo good. how do you do it?" and it really bothers me because she doesn't disclose at ALL about what she did. I have busted my butt and I have ALWAYS been honest about the fact that I take an appetite supressant. (it's one that is made from all natural ingredients). It just bothers me and I do really judge her for it. I hope that she eventually comes clean. I feel that calorie counting and exercise is something she SHOULD have done..I did take my appetite supressant but I really watched what I ate and I workout every day and am gaining muscle and toning. She will learn that it doesn't teach her how to eat to not gain weight again. I wish I could just get full on 300 calories a day or something.
:noway: Again, you're taking a suppressant. Why can't you just teach yourself how to eat throughout the day without overeating and gaining weight?She will learn that it doesn't teach her how to eat to not gain weight again.0 -
why lie.. the truth is far more entertaining...
I love the look when I say, I just watched what I eat now and do some exercising.. nothing special, nothing magical... just simple..
they always stop and look like the minion from dispicable me... WHHHAAAATTTT??? like they're waiting for the punchline or some magic secret to be revealed.
^^^^This! The looks on their faces when I just say counting calories & a little walking! Their disappointment is soooo evident!
But back on the subject. There's nothing wrong with surgical remedies if nothing else has worked. At least she still took control of the situation and did what she had to do to get healthier.0 -
I would hope that you, OP, are not getting caught in the middle. With that said, if you DO get caught in the middle (ie., someone asks YOU how she is doing weight loss), I would hope you are able to deflect it back to her...as in " just ask her yourself" :flowerforyou: I only say this because I've been caught in the middle of someone else's issues and have had to say that (nicely and very sweetly, of course).0
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I ALWAYS lie about how I lost the weight to IRL folks (my MFP pals know that I am working on it through diet and exercise).
If I am very fond of you, I might shrug it off by saying I go to the gym a little bit here and there. Otherwise, I will tell you that I did it by sprinkling cocaine on my oatmeal every morning. If you press me, I will tell you that I am dead serious. You will either be scared for me or annoyed at me. Either way, I don't care. But here are three things you won't do: 1. comment disapprovingly on what I ordered for lunch. 2. badger me to disclose my workout routine and then criticize it. 3. tell me 500 reasons why I had it easier than it would be for you.
This is an AWESOME post.
:drinker:0 -
I've been totally honest about it, but I've been doing it the old fashioned way - eating at a calorie deficit and lifting weights, walking.
Whatever your sister in law says about herself is really not for anyone else to judge. If she wants to keep it a secret, that is for her to decide. Surgery is not something to be taken lightly. Be proud of her that she trusted you enough to tell you, and stand by her for doing the one thing that she thought would help her to succeed.0 -
Hummm sounds to me like there may be a bit of jealousy going on with you but take heart it was much harder on her than you may think and although I myself have never considered surgery I know people who have and after the procedure I believe they are restricted to a low carb diet so really she was being truthful just not revealing every last little detail and really why should she?0
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I think the real issue is how incredibly rude people can be in asking personal and invasive questions and having the audacity to think they are owed an "honest" answer. What she is doing isn't "lying," it's choosing not to be rude to obnoxious and nosy people by providing a partial truth that she is comfortable with.
Her choice to "lie" affects you in no real way, other than you clearly feel you are superior to her because you lost weight the "hard" way and everyone should know that you are the better, stronger, smarter sister.
Personally, weight loss surgery is not for me, too many risks associated with it, but I certainly don't think the fact that I am losing weight simply but cutting calories is any "harder" or "better" than someone who makes the choice to undergo a surgical procedure.
Agree.
The woman who had surgery is entitled to her privacy and owes nothing to busybodies.0 -
Extreme weight loss is always noticeable and that brings a certain level of curiousity from others. There's nothing inherently wrong with this, and it's the same that you'd expect if you had another radical image change. Lying about it is doing yourself and also those around you a disservice, because it gives the impression that weight loss is easy, and I am of the opinion that if you have lost weight you become a role model for others to do the same. For me that's one of the great things about weight loss, because it's inspirational, and if you can motivate someone else to do the same thing then it's not just your life you've changed.
In my experience private people who try to shut down conversations like this just succeed in creating an excuse for gossip, and I think it's better for everyone if you can be honest, but perhaps not go into gory detail or having to pull out your meal chart for everyone to pick apart.0 -
It's not my job to motivate overweight people to lose weight. We're all responsible for ourselves....I am of the opinion that if you have lost weight you become a role model for others to do the same. For me that's one of the great things about weight loss, because it's inspirational, and if you can motivate someone else to do the same thing then it's not just your life you've changed.
In my experience private people who try to shut down conversations like this just succeed in creating an excuse for gossip, and I think it's better for everyone if you can be honest, but perhaps not go into gory detail or having to pull out your meal chart for everyone to pick apart.
Regarding private people being better off divulging details about their private lives bc cutting those conversations short just leads to gossip, I'm one of those private people. And, when people choose to gossip and fill in the blanks themselves, that just reinforces my belief that they're not people that I care to associate with or people that I should share things about my private life. What they say about me really says a lot about them, so let them talk. Besides, even if you tell them the truth, they're still going to talk; it's who they are. So, why give up a part of yourself (personal details) in the process?0 -
Maybe she is just embarrassed about having the surgery. People feel shame for different things based on whatever their personal issues are. I don't see why your sister should be obligated to reveal the truth about her medical procedure as long as she isn't hurting anyone.0
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What bothers me about this situation is the fact that there is a false hope of rapid weight loss based on bad information (well I guess she could post it on the internet and it would be true), and those people in earshot will also be affected. While she isn't obligated in any way to disclose any of the information about how she lost the weight, there is a way to explain the loss without blatantly lying about it.0
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That's their own fault. They should be consulting their own doctor and not just taking medical advice from strangers. We all do the same thing on this site, but I'm pretty sure that we've all read the disclaimers, too: "Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy. " I feel the same way about things that people say IRL.The thing that bothers me most about this kind of lie is that people are going to take her "way to lose weight" to heart & it's just like taking incorrect medical advice. People are going to believe this fad low-carb diet crap because they saw someone who lost a lot of weight said that's what they did.
This is so hypocritical. You took a "natural" appetite suppressant to stop yourself from eating so much. She had surgery to stop herself from eating so much. But, you think that she should have counted calories like you did (with the help of your suppressant)?I know someone who lost a lot of weight due to gastric bypass and she posts on Facebook about all the weight she's losing and people go "omygosh you look sooo good. how do you do it?" and it really bothers me because she doesn't disclose at ALL about what she did. I have busted my butt and I have ALWAYS been honest about the fact that I take an appetite supressant. (it's one that is made from all natural ingredients). It just bothers me and I do really judge her for it. I hope that she eventually comes clean. I feel that calorie counting and exercise is something she SHOULD have done..I did take my appetite supressant but I really watched what I ate and I workout every day and am gaining muscle and toning. She will learn that it doesn't teach her how to eat to not gain weight again. I wish I could just get full on 300 calories a day or something.
:noway: Again, you're taking a suppressant. Why can't you just teach yourself how to eat throughout the day without overeating and gaining weight?She will learn that it doesn't teach her how to eat to not gain weight again.
okay, like I said, I ADMIT to taking a supressant. I have never hid that fact to ANYONE who's asked. I've even showed it to my doctor and they didn't say that I shouldn't take it. I think that the fact that this person I know won't admit to having the surgery shows that she's ashamed of it. But I feel she should just admit to the truth. (also with the appetite supressant, my dad is 5'9" and 180 lbs of MUSCLE and he has borderline high cholesterol and blood pressure and he also has Meniere's disease and he took this same supressant and it helped his cholesterol and blood pressure and he wasn't as dizzy or had as much ear ringing.. My mom had been on blood pressure medications and started taking that same supressant and ended up lowering her blood pressure and didn't need her medication anymore).
I lost the weight and have maintained all year without taking the supressant.0 -
yeah, I don't like liars... AT ALL! if she doesn't want to disclose her surgery, she should just say she did a vlcd, since in reality, THATS THE TRUTH! my mom did optifast, and when she tells people she lost her weight avoiding gluten, I CALL HER OUT ON IT... I ONLY CALL HER OUT BECAUSE SHE PISSES ME OFF SO BAD... she compares her 40 pound weight loss in 4 months, drinking 800 calorie chemical shakes to my 100 pound loss in 11 months, using purely diet and exercise... she likes to rub it in that she is almost caught up to me... so, when she tells people she did it avoiding gluten, I add... YEAH, AND YOU AVOIDED EVERY OTHER FOOD GROUP ALSO, SINCE YOU WERE ONLY DRINKING 800 CALORIE CHEMICAL SHAKES FOR 4 MONTHS...
Thank you SO much for this! This is exactly what I'm talking about. Be honest and own what you did. At the VERY least, say that you did an extremely low calorie diet. Don't "lie" and say you did it through low carb eating. It was eating 300 calories a day that made the weight come off. You could have done it eating 300 calories worth of Twinkies. It wasn't the "low carb" diet that got you where you are.0 -
This is really off-topic, but how does someone eat only 300 calories for 5 months and not lose their hair, skin elasticity, etc.?
She has lost tons of muscle. She has kept her hair through massive vitamin taking and B12 shots.0 -
So, let's say that she takes someone else's advice and just says that she ate a very low calorie diet and ate about 300 calories a day. Would you be an idiot and just start doing that? Shouldn't you see your own doctor? I don't understand why you guys are holding her accountable for people who randomly ask her personal questions. "and those people in earshot will also be affected. " You mean nosy people? LOL. You can't be serious. So, now, she has to broadcast the details of her weight loss to the nosy people eavesdropping so that they get full details on how they can follow her diet. Okay.What bothers me about this situation is the fact that there is a false hope of rapid weight loss based on bad information (well I guess she could post it on the internet and it would be true), and those people in earshot will also be affected. While she isn't obligated in any way to disclose any of the information about how she lost the weight, there is a way to explain the loss without blatantly lying about it.0 -
Having read the entire thread I still say: until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes you don't fully understand their journey.0
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Thank you SO much for this! This is exactly what I'm talking about. Be honest and own what you did. At the VERY least, say that you did an extremely low calorie diet. Don't "lie" and say you did it through low carb eating.
You're *still* going on about this?! Good grief. Live your own life, get your nose out of hers.
Nothing even remotely "christian" about what you are doing - especially considering it's your own sister!0 -
I think lying is wrong regardless of what it is about. If you are a liar, then what else deceitful are you going to do?
I seriously doubt that there is anyone who tells the truth about everything 100% of the time no matter what. Your comment is extreme. Choosing not to share her medical history with anyone who asks does not make necessarily her an overall deceitful person. Frankly, it's pretty obnoxious how people feel as if they are automatically entitled to other people's personal business when it has nothing to do with them.0 -
I do wonder if the OP has told her sister that she's posted the whole saga on the inter webs. That would be the honest, open, christian thing to do...Thank you SO much for this! This is exactly what I'm talking about. Be honest and own what you did. At the VERY least, say that you did an extremely low calorie diet. Don't "lie" and say you did it through low carb eating.
You're *still* going on about this?! Good grief. Live your own life, get your nose out of hers.
Nothing even remotely "christian" about what you are doing - especially considering it's your own sister!0 -
If she doesn't feel comfortable telling people about her surgery, she's under no obligation to do so. What if an eating disorder had caused her weight loss? Cancer? Depression? Asking someone how they lost weight seems silly to me anyways, 9 out 10 times the answer will be eating less and exercising, what magic formula are they expecting to hear?0
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I would not lie about how I lost my weight, gave up lying a long time ago.
What other people do is 100% none of my business, trying to make it my business takes me down crazy street, so I try really hard not to go there, for my own peace of mind. Of course this doesn't apply to my minor daughter.0 -
So, let's say that she takes someone else's advice and just says that she ate a very low calorie diet and ate about 300 calories a day. Would you be an idiot and just start doing that? Shouldn't you see your own doctor? I don't understand why you guys are holding her accountable for people who randomly ask her personal questions. "and those people in earshot will also be affected. " You mean nosy people? LOL. You can't be serious. So, now, she has to broadcast the details of her weight loss to the nosy people eavesdropping so that they get full details on how they can follow her diet. Okay.What bothers me about this situation is the fact that there is a false hope of rapid weight loss based on bad information (well I guess she could post it on the internet and it would be true), and those people in earshot will also be affected. While she isn't obligated in any way to disclose any of the information about how she lost the weight, there is a way to explain the loss without blatantly lying about it.
For the record, I really don't believe anyone is "holding her accountable for people who randomly ask her personal questions," we are holding her accountable for lying. Why can't she just say, "It's really none of your business how I lost the weight," and keep it moving?0
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