Honesty About How You Lost Your Weight

GRUNO

I'm really torn on this issue. On the one hand, I don't think lying is the way to go. On the other, I hate that people feel it's perfectly acceptable to ask really intrusive questions and readily expect an answer. I don't think your sister has any obligation to explain her medical conditions and the care she chose with anyone. If I were in her shoes, I'd simply say that I followed a plan prescribed by my doctor. No one really needs to know that that plan included surgery.

But, I think lying is pointless. I don't think anyone believes for a second that she lost that kind of weight by eating low carb alone. No way, especially without any exercise. So, now she just looks like a liar and fool.

liloldDee

I'm really torn on this issue. On the one hand, I don't think lying is the way to go. On the other, I hate that people feel it's perfectly acceptable to ask really intrusive questions and readily expect an answer. I don't think your sister has any obligation to explain her medical conditions and the care she chose with anyone. If I were in her shoes, I'd simply say that I followed a plan prescribed by my doctor. No one really needs to know that that plan included surgery.

But, I think lying is pointless. I don't think anyone believes for a second that she lost that kind of weight by eating low carb alone. No way, especially without any exercise. So, now she just looks like a liar and fool.

I agree with this, it's not anyone else's business and it must be horrible been put on the spot if she's not comfortable saying she had surgery. I don't like lies bug I don't like the world expecting to know my business either. Once your sister isn't giving dieting advice or sharing, made up meal plans I wouldn't concern myself with what she says.


I have made up my mind that this time around I will not share my weight loss amounts with anyone apart from my husband. When I lose weight it attracts sooo much attention and it's a free for all to have long discussions about how much I've lost and how how well I look and how I don't need to lose more and advice how not to put it back on. Previously I took part in and usually enjoyed these conversations but never again, it just makes the whole weight issue so much bigger. I will graciously accept compliments and deflect any further conversation.

I would actually love to lose this weight unnoticed lol.

stealthq

why lie.. the truth is far more entertaining...

I love the look when I say, I just watched what I eat now and do some exercising.. nothing special, nothing magical... just simple..

they always stop and look like the minion from dispicable me... WHHHAAAATTTT??? like they're waiting for the punchline or some magic secret to be revealed.

I get this all the time. Then it's "well, you're watching your calories, so I guess you can't have pie (or 'fattening' food of the day)". Love the expression when I take a modest portion, and eat it all, saying "oh, no, I can eat whatever I want, as long as I make sure I don't eat too much of it."

OP, the lying would really bother me, too. Enough that I would either have to clamp my mouth shut, or I'd end up calling her out. Not that calling her out would be the right thing to do - it would just be a struggle not to have the truth fly out of my mouth, if you know what I mean.

ninerbuff

I think lying is wrong regardless of what it is about. If you are a liar, then what else deceitful are you going to do?

So if you asked your significant other if you were overweight in their eyes and they say yes, you'd be absolutely cool with that? Just wondering.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ladymiseryali

I'm 99.9% honest. My husband doesn't know that I lost a bunch of weight before I met him through an eating disorder that I beat on my own. I'm healthy now and have lost the rest of this weight that way and that's all that counts.

tiggerhammon

I agree with posters that said she should not have to honestly explain her issues and history. If I were in her shoes I would probably give a blanketed response, like the one I give my daughter when she asks me questions I dont want to answer. They ask how, I would say "very carefully" and walk away. Hopefully they get the memo.

I was just beginning my weight loss journey, and had lost about 17lbs when I got pregnant. I can't accredit any one thing for these lbs, as honestly I tried a half a dozen different things in a few weeks. Mostly for medical reasons, I was toying with my diet to try to relieve gastrointestinal issues. I was watching calorie intake and macros all the while, but lost the most after I cut out all dairy.
I have lost 8 more since getting pregnant. Honestly: not trying to! Stupid morning sickness.

SLLRunner

I am struggling with lying issues when it comes to being truthful about how you lost your weight. My sister recently underwent a gastric sleeve surgery. In 5 months time she lost over a hundred pounds. Obviously people see the weight dropping off of her and wonder how she did it. I believe in being honest and would have said that I had gastric surgery. She simply smiles and says she lost it following a low carb diet. SO not true. What she should have said is that she had 80% of her stomach removed and because of this she ate 300 calories a day for months and THAT'S how she lost it.

Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?

So not okay. Honesty is the best policy.

Your her sister and you have every right to tell her how you feel about her lying but you can't change her response. She will say what she says.

My sister in law had gastric bypass surgery and was completely honest about it. She also said there were many problems after the surgery and if she had it to do over again she would not have done it.

fruttibiscotti

She shouldn't be lying, but that's her issue and these things have tendencies to loop back and bite you in the buttocks.

I do see how it can put you on the spot though - you have to stay aloof in your conversations and not allude to the story without lying about the situation yourself! I can see how that's tough and unfair to you.

Did you let your sister know how you feel, and express concern about the web of lies?

bondgirl129

Honesty may be a good policy but it is also none of any one's business and if people want to ask intrusive and invasive questions, I see no reason to give them all the gory details of what I'm going through with my surgery. I have no intention of lying but at the same time, just as I don't tell people the specifics of how I am not in debt, I am not about to tell them the specifics of how I lose weight.

Its flat out rude to ask questions like that. To say that she's lying because she doesn't want to answer may not describe the entire picture. A lot of people feel shame because they had surgery. You can feel like a failure, like you didn't do it the 'right' way. For her or for others like her, it could bring up a host of issues they are still dealing with themselves.

It is terribly judgmental to decide with blanket statements that some one is lying when it may be as simple as refusing to tell every one with a nose problem the details of your life.

sparkleberries

People can be so judgmental of what others do & how they do it so maybe she is just protecting herself. She does not need to tell anyone she had surgery & maybe she is trying to be polite & instead of telling people to mind there own business she is telling them that she cut down on carbs...which she did.

Try supporting her instead of making an issue of telling the "whole truth"

GrinderX

She's not really lying. She IS on a low carb diet. Weight loss surgery is not a magic pill, people who get surgery can still gain weight if they eat small amount constantly all day. They still have to do all the same work that everyone else has to do to lose weight. It sounds like you are jealous of her success.

Mr_Knight

What she should have said...

...is none of my business.

DaveneGfit

The way I have been able to loose the weight and keep it off is really by just making better decisions overtime. I have tried so many diets thought the years and I would loose the weight and then gain it all back. This happened to me a lot though the years. It wasn't until a few years ago that I really started to teach myself how to actually take care of my body. That is when I started to see the weight come off and it wasn't from dieting. I have still had to make a few adjustments along the way to see what works for my body. Recently I did a bit of an over hall and the weight just started to come off and it's continuing to come off. I also don't have craving like I use to and if rarely decide to eat junk food because it makes me sick.

This is what I do these days. The majority of my diet is dark leafy green veggies. I can't express over and over again how much of a difference this makes and I see people having a hard time loosing weight all the time when they are in their calorie range. It's not just about calories, but are you actually giving your body the vitamins and minerals that it needs. So yes the majority of my diet is veggies. I also eat lean protein such as chicken, turkey, and lean beef or eggs. I also will use plant based protein powder sometimes. But I don't go overboard. I also eat healthy fats like avocado, minimal nuts and seeds, and cook with coconut oil. Lastly I control how many starchy carbs I eat. Carbs are not a bad thing and you need them to function, but you can get a lot of your carbs from veggies.

This has done wonders for me. I rarely count calories anymore and feel satisfied and don't feel like I am missing out. Also the weight is still coming off. I hope this helps. You will get there and don't give up.

janessafantasma

In private, I would talk to her and say that you aren't comfortable with her lying to people about how she lost the weight. I wouldn't call her on it when she does it though, maybe she is struggling with embarrassment over having to have the surgery? I can't imagine that it would be an easy decision to make and it is also personal information as well. She is under no obligation to tell anyone that she meets or causal acquaintances how she lost the weight.

tehboxingkitteh

I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

JoelleAnn78

As someone who had gastric bypass, I can understand why she might not want to tell people about this choice. It is a very personal decision, and not everyone feels the need to share. It is also very difficult to explain rapid weight loss when you don't want to say, "I had bariatric surgery." So, taking that reason off the table leaves her to tell only the other things she is doing to lose weight.

Truthfully, if she had bariatric surgery - she is in fact eating very low carbohydrates and next to no fat/sweets. I think telling a partial truth is very different than lying when it is no one else's business in the first place. What we chose to disclose to others is our own business. Being put on the spot sometimes leaves us with very little choice.

I was/am not shy about telling people I had gastric bypass, and I have been incredibly successful in the last 4 years (losing well over 200 pounds and keeping it off). HOWEVER, since having my son I have lost 37 pounds. When someone asks me how I lost that weight you bet your *kitten* I tell them I worked hard - counted calories & exercised. Am I lying because I don't disclose that I had bariatric surgery?

JoelleAnn78

But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

Thank you -- Agree ^^ 100%

lisalsd1

I lost weight the "old-fashioned" way...diet and exercise, BUT I don't think there is anything wrong with surgery, if you truly need it to start exercising and implement a healthy lifestyle.

I think some people do view surgery as a "quick fix," and judge it. I think this in turn causes some people who have had surgery to feel self-conscious about it.

saree2013

I have enough vices of my own to try to micromanage or obsess about anybody's morale compass.

avskk

I'm often less than honest about how I lost my weight because I tend to undereat due to time constraints, screwed up hunger signals, and lingering anorectic tendencies. I talk about my goals when people ask me how I lost the weight, because I don't want to encourage anyone else to eat 1000kcal/day of mostly vegetables. I am constantly trying to do better and meet rather than fall short of my calorie goals; that's what I talk about (as well as balancing macronutrients, staying hydrated, getting more exercise) rather than admitting I'm not quite eating enough.