Why is this girl doing this to me? (Girll help)
Replies
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nasty0
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To be honest its ur fault ..u know u are being used in a really dirty way but u don't want to do anything about it because u like her alot or because u didn't have that much gf's in ur life so u are afraid to give her up..and she did gave u up in so many ways ..u should respect yourself more and stop talking to her...and if she tried to call or anything don't answer and move on ..u will find the right person in the right time .0
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.0
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so did you post this over on bb.com too?
ask your misc brothers.
oh, and maybe take pussi off your profile.
Ditto.0 -
This is the definition of being beta... Dont be that nice guy dude
Came in to say this.
Stop being a beta white knight.
Yup. That's it. Of course it doesn't absolve her either.0 -
Maybe that's what their friendship was always like, and just because he says he is paying doesn't mean she is asking him to, he may be offering or not wanting her to pay.
Years ago I had a really good male friend who used to love taking me out drinking and dancing with him, and he would pay most of the time. I was very broke, so he always insisted on paying. He loved calling me up and taking me out for the night, I would always cheer him up if he was bored or down and we had loads of laughs and lots of fun together. However, he was gay so there were no other unspoken motives.
I'm just sharing this story to show that it's not always abusive to allow good friends to buy you drinks or whatever. If they enjoy doing it and they genuinely want to treat you and there's no other agenda, it should be fine. Honesty is the key.0 -
She's doing it because she can, since you're allowing her to.0
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We teach people in our lives how to treat us...unfortunately some people take advantage but when you continue to allow it that's a choice you are making...you seem like a good person so expect more for yourself:)0
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You got used, quit her, It's like a diet hard at first then it's easy. In a year the heartbroke feelings you have well seem so totally foreign that won't be able to understand how you ever had them.0
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Bloody hell, where's your self-respect?
Grow a backbone and tell her to f*** off, people will only treat you badly if you let them. Stand up for yourself and move on. She's only a woman, there's plenty out there.
Awesome Post!0 -
You got friendzoned and trolled harder than anyone in history. Girls you are attracted to make terribly dangerous friends.0
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Assuming you're not trolling...
Your nick says rational thinker, so let's think rationally. Here are a few things we can agree on:
- nice people don't knowingly hurt other people's feelings unless it's necessary
- you don't want people who aren't nice in your life
Now let's apply them to this situation:
- she knows you have feelings for her because you told her
- she knows telling you about her love/sex life will hurt your feelings
- it was not an absolute necessity to tell you about it either
And now draw conclusions:
- therefore, she knowingly hurt your feelings needlessly and is not a nice person
- since she is not a nice person, you don't want her in your life as either a romantic interest or a friend
I know that can be easier said than done though, so I sympathize...0 -
She used "friendship" to get food, rides, money, etc. You used "food, rides, money, etc." to try to get a girlfriend.
Both of you were manipulative whether you realize it or not, and both of you are to blame. You can stop being a doormat in the hopes of snagging some action, and can stop thinking of her as owing you, now. Because she doesn't. She's not a prostitute.
Cut her out of your life and reevaluate how you approach relationships. You are not responsible for a potential girlfriend's bills, food, or work situation. Next time hold out for someone who can take care of herself and has a basic working in knowledge of a financial plan. And don't get involved with a roommate. If it goes badly, it ends in needing to move. Moving sucks. Avoid it.
^This!0 -
She still lives in the same house but I don't see her daily. We still text and call daily though.You are being used. Is she still living with you? You probably need to ask her to move out and find a new roommate. Then block her number from your cell and avoid her a work as much as possible.
I want to block her but she still has my money. Out of $350, $100 is still left.
Tell her she needs to move out. Let her keep the $100 on the guarantee she is out by the end of the month. Find a new roommate and move on. Don't let anyone use you lik this. You sound like a good and decent girly and she took full advantage...we call these people *****es. Hope it all works out.0 -
Grow a pair and move on. She's not into you, she's never been into you, she never will be into you. Period.
You fell into the classic friend zone way of thinking. Women aren't vending machines you put niceness into until sex comes out. Plenty of women are well aware of this behavior and happy to capitalize on it. Some are also just as naive as you are and don't realize that your 'niceness' is your idea of courting.
You lost the money and time, they're not coming back. But you can still salvage what's left of your dignity by moving on. Just like weight loss, you'll look back and wish you started today.
The answer above is perfect.
I don't know her motives or intentions, because I don't know her side. We could speculate for hours on that. Someone made an excellent point about stating that she might be complaining about condoms and telling you about her boyfriend to get you to see the picture. (Some people struggle to be direct and try to send hints. In her case, she was direct and it didn't seem like it was enough, so maybe she's illustrating what she told you already.) If you have spent a lot of time talking and connecting, she probably really does enjoy you. One of my favorite things to do is sit with a friend I connect with and talk for hours. She had no money, job, food, or ride. You were able to and offered to help. She accepted. Most would. She didn't turn down the job you got her and let you keep providing for her. She's working. She should pay you back, but with you behaving as you are, a part of me suspects that you've told her, "Please, no worries on the money, take your time paying me back, I want you to be happy, give me $10 a month." The first read-through, I thought she sounded pretty selfish and self-centered, but then I read the responses, and I realized I really don't know what she's up to.
I do know that she told you that she is not interested in you. Anything you continue to do should be done as a friend, because that's what she told you that you are. If you don't want to be friends, maybe you can't be because you like her too much, tell her and move on.0 -
A nice person doesn't treat somebody this way. There are people who ARE nice and people who ACT nice. There are even some people who have a good heart but a bad head (they mean well but they are oblivious to how they make others feel) which is arguably worse. The most foolish are those that think they are wise and the wisest are those that think they are fools.
Basically, what this means is that at worst, you'll make a bad situation even worse and still gain nothing for your effort and at best, she's going to be high maintenance and will never change (people who ACT nice don't care to change and those who are oblivious can never accept that they need to).
But that is just a hypothetical question. People don't talk about "connecting" with a person like that in really any other context. You would never say that about one of your friends, right? In fact, if you were close friends with the opposite sex, you'd probably be less likely to think about how much you "connected". And once you start thinking about how you "connected", you'd be starting to develop feelings for the person.
In other words, I think she knew that you were into her possibly even before you knew (or perhaps even intended to spark your interest). She's been playing you like a fiddle from day one. She's nice because it gets her things, not because she likes to be that way.0 -
Women aren't vending machines you put niceness into until sex comes out.
Quoted because this is awesome, lol!0 -
UPDATE:
Okay, I went to talk to this girl yesterday. I told her that everyone is telling me to avoid talking to her and I feel that she is using me. I stated my arguments why I thought so. lol, she said that I didn't use you, and there are many other people who are waiting for me to use, but I don't. She later on started crying saying how could I accuse her of that and that I never cared for her, but she obviously knows that I do. Once I saw her cry, I couldn't help but say sorry. I kept saying that because I felt bad for making her cry. I left and texted her a bunch of times saying that I feel bad for making you cry.
Honestly, I bought up every argument that I can and she wouldn't have the answers. She would be like I got too friendly with you, blah blah blah. I seriously do think that she was unaware of it. She said that every guy does this to her and it didn't seem out of the ordinary. I honestly think that she did not have malice but she is obviously crazy and has princess syndrome. Actually, the first day that I met her, I thought that she was crazy. She believes in ALL the conspiracy theories that I know; from illuminati to fake moon landing to 911 truthers to freemasons to Queen Elizabeth being a half-reptilian.
I also told her I felt used when I helped you get a job and when you didn't need me, you ran off to another guy. She's like I didn't want a relationship, but it unexpectedly happened.
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Reading other people's comment, I have to say that wasn't nice in order to be her gf. I never intended to have feelings for her. Within the first day, she told that she was moving to another country in one month so I had no plans of making her my gf. I also did all that stuff for her because seeing her happy made me happy. Even after that I found that she wasn't moving out, I still didn't want her; She left Islam to believe her conspiracy theories (I am Muslim) , she hates kids (I love kids), hates cooking (I want my girl to cook), no ambition in life, no goal, no career, doesn't see the need to improve herself BUT she was extremely fun and very pretty. And the two last latter things just grew into me later on.0 -
Yes, I agree that I am partially to blame, I did let her use me. I did put her on a pedestal. I definitely don't have those feelings for me. Like, if she wanted to get back to me, I would say no.Mate, you just need to move on. Forget the $100, forget how much you 'like' her.
We've all been there, and we all have to learn from it.
Remember that she's just a normal girl at the end of the day, you've put her on a pedestal.
To be completely fair, you've done it yourself, you've made yourself her lapdog for so long that she's just got used to it. You need to enter your next relationship with more self respect.
Put it down to experience, and move on. But make sure you learn from it.
I remember when I was about 17 and I was pining hard for this girl, my mate's dad gave me this advice: No matter how hot a girl is, someone is bored of banging her. I don't know if that's helpful, but I remember it really made me laugh at the time!0 -
Cut ur ties totally and run...she clearly gets something from leading u on and screwing with ur feelings.....u need to go out on many many dates so u can figure out what u want in a gf!0
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Some woman are really good at sniffing weakness and exploiting it.... and she is dangling the carrot just close enough to keep you interested and playing in her game.0
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UPDATE:
Okay, I went to talk to this girl yesterday. I told her that everyone is telling me to avoid talking to her and I feel that she is using me. I stated my arguments why I thought so. She started crying that I would accuse her of that and that I never cared for her, but she obviously knows that I do. Once I saw her cry, I couldn't help but say sorry. I kept saying that because I felt bad for making her cry. I left and texted her a bunch of times saying that I feel bad for making you cry.
Honestly, I bought up every argument that I can and she wouldn't have the answers. She would be like I got too friendly with you, blah blah blah. I seriously do think that she was unaware of it. She said that every guy does this to her and it didn't seem out of the ordinary. I honestly think that she did not have malice but she is obviously crazy and has princess syndrome. Actually, the first day that I met her, I thought that she was crazy. She believes in ALL the conspiracy theories that I know; from fake moon landing to 911 truthers to freemasons to Queen Elizabeth being a half-reptilian.
I also told her I felt used when I helped you get a job and when you didn't need me, you ran off to another guy. She's like I didn't want a relationship, but it unexpectedly happened.
===
Reading other people's comment, I have to say that wasn't nice in order to be her gf. I never intended to have feelings for her. Within the first day, she told that she was moving to another country in one month so I had no plans of making her my gf. I also did all that stuff for her because seeing her happy made me happy. Even after that I found that she wasn't moving out, I still didn't want her; She left Islam to believe her conspiracy theories (I am Muslim) , she hates kids (I love kids), hates cooking (I want my girl to cook), no ambition in life, no goal, no career, doesn't see the need to improve herself BUT she was extremely fun and very pretty. And the two last latter things just grew into me later on.
Oh, she's good lol You're a kind soul, leave her be. She's really not worth it.0 -
UPDATE:
Okay, I went to talk to this girl yesterday. I told her that everyone is telling me to avoid talking to her and I feel that she is using me. I stated my arguments why I thought so. She started crying that I would accuse her of that and that I never cared for her, but she obviously knows that I do. Once I saw her cry, I couldn't help but say sorry. I kept saying that because I felt bad for making her cry. I left and texted her a bunch of times saying that I feel bad for making you cry.
Honestly, I bought up every argument that I can and she wouldn't have the answers. She would be like I got too friendly with you, blah blah blah. I seriously do think that she was unaware of it. She said that every guy does this to her and it didn't seem out of the ordinary. I honestly think that she did not have malice but she is obviously crazy and has princess syndrome. Actually, the first day that I met her, I thought that she was crazy. She believes in ALL the conspiracy theories that I know; from fake moon landing to 911 truthers to freemasons to Queen Elizabeth being a half-reptilian.
I also told her I felt used when I helped you get a job and when you didn't need me, you ran off to another guy. She's like I didn't want a relationship, but it unexpectedly happened.
===
Reading other people's comment, I have to say that wasn't nice in order to be her gf. I never intended to have feelings for her. Within the first day, she told that she was moving to another country in one month so I had no plans of making her my gf. I also did all that stuff for her because seeing her happy made me happy. Even after that I found that she wasn't moving out, I still didn't want her; She left Islam to believe her conspiracy theories (I am Muslim) , she hates kids (I love kids), hates cooking (I want my girl to cook), no ambition in life, no goal, no career, doesn't see the need to improve herself BUT she was extremely fun and very pretty. And the two last latter things just grew into me later on.
Out!0 -
She's doing it because you let her. Get a backbone and stop letting her use you.0
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six pages and not a single PITTB comment.
wow- how very vastly different my forums are.You fell into the classic friend zone way of thinking. Women aren't vending machines you put niceness into until sex comes out. Plenty of women are well aware of this behavior and happy to capitalize on it. Some are also just as naive as you are and don't realize that your 'niceness' is your idea of courting.
ignore her- make time for yourself- find pretty girls to hang out with- even if you are paying them to hang out with you. don't pick up when she calls.
Girls aren't going to want someone they can just have. they want what they CAN"T have. Ignore her- move on- 10 bucks says in 3 weeks she'll come crawling back to you. In which case you have options
> you can lord it over her and say em well maybe i'll take you back but only if you go on a date with me
> go back to what you were before
> continuing being awesome without her0 -
Yea, I actually confronted her about that. She just said that she didn't want it, but life gave it to her or some bs. I also asked her why did she say no to me. She basically that I had no attitude. Although she said that she has more fun time talking to me, and he's grumpy, that she would prefer him over me.You're being used by this girl. Break it off and find someone worth your time. The fact that she said she wasn't going to get into a relationship and then jumped into one the next week means she's a liar. I find these people to be terrible people, those whom I do not speak with.
Again, break it off. Find someone else. You deserve to be happy. Let the tramp live without a car. She can walk to work! >;o grrr
I was just pissed off at women in general for screwing with us men with this garbage.
As someone who fell hard for a mooch, trust me. GET OUT NOW! I caved in for years, regardless of how badly he treated me and looking bad, i can't believe I was so stupid. And I DID find someone who would/does anything for me in return.
Drop her like a skirt.0 -
You were USED
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Walk away..... no one deserves to be used. You're not a revolving door or a door mat.0
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don't think you are going to get out of the friend zone0
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You know why she treats you that way? Because you're still around. It's not any big secret. She'd have a lot more respect for you, and you'd have a lot more respect for yourself, if you grew a pair and told her to pack her crap and get out.0
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