Why is this girl doing this to me? (Girll help)

FireflyJay

Hello,
I really am confused at what is doing on. And I need some girls advice on what to do? Should I just ignore her or continue maintaining friendship with her?

5 months ago, I moved in a new place with a girl roommate. We really hit it off. The first day we met, we talked for 10 hours straight and we spent everyday together for 2 months. The landlord would hate us because we would sometimes talk until 4am. She told me countless times how we connect so well. When she didn't have a job, she would wait for me in the balcony.

After 2 months, she had some problems with money and no job. I loaned her money, I got her a job at my workplace, I provided her food, I picked and dropped her off to work and I cooked for her, while she never cooked for me. I also paid for everything whenever we went out. And anything that she asked me to do, I never denied any of her requests. Obviously, I fell for this girl hard as I never had a girlfriend and we connected so well.

Finally, I told her how I felt. She just laughed and said "No, I am sorry". She said maybe in another life (she believes in reincarnation) but not in this lifetime. She told me that she won't get into a relationship until she's in her 30s. I wasn't that hurt because I thought that things would continue the way it was. She also said that I am like a brother to her.

Next week, she gets a boyfriend and totally cuts me off; no talking, no texting, nothing. She met him at my workplace. I was really hurt, I didn't sleep for two days, and totally lost my appetite and lost 10 lbs throughout the ordeal. And honestly, as it hurts me to say this, it hurt me more than my dad's passing away. I know that he was at peace now and that's just part of life but this thing was a shocker. Still hurts seeing them together daily at work.

Just randomly, she starts texting me again and starting calling me at her break-time. I came back like a whimpering dog. Among other stuff, she talks about how amazing her boyfriend is and he's doing this or that for her. Sending me pics of them together and complaining how condoms are expensive. She also calls me up to take her places as her bf doesn't have a car and I of course do it for her. She is also nice as she tries to help me to get another girl and I can tell that she cares for me. We currently text each other everyday for at least an hour.

I still really care for her but she really hurt me a lot and I kinda feel being used. She talks to me more than her bf, I think.

You have to break ties with her. She's using you.

MyChocolateDiet

Oh hai...I'm new to this thread :blushing: ...but I just wanna say...










....


FR sent!!!!

Derf_Smeggle

And now that we've done to death...

jollyjoe321

Man....

You don't tell her: "Everyone is saying to stop seeing you." You just don't see her.

jerbsod

UPDATE:
Okay, I went to talk to this girl yesterday. I told her that everyone is telling me to avoid talking to her and I feel that she is using me. I stated my arguments why I thought so. lol, she said that I didn't use you, and there are many other people who are waiting for me to use, but I don't. She later on started crying saying how could I accuse her of that and that I never cared for her, but she obviously knows that I do. Once I saw her cry, I couldn't help but say sorry. I kept saying that because I felt bad for making her cry. I left and texted her a bunch of times saying that I feel bad for making you cry.

Honestly, I bought up every argument that I can and she wouldn't have the answers. She would be like I got too friendly with you, blah blah blah. I seriously do think that she was unaware of it. She said that every guy does this to her and it didn't seem out of the ordinary. I honestly think that she did not have malice but she is obviously crazy and has princess syndrome. Actually, the first day that I met her, I thought that she was crazy. She believes in ALL the conspiracy theories that I know; from illuminati to fake moon landing to 911 truthers to freemasons to Queen Elizabeth being a half-reptilian.

I also told her I felt used when I helped you get a job and when you didn't need me, you ran off to another guy. She's like I didn't want a relationship, but it unexpectedly happened.

===

Reading other people's comment, I have to say that wasn't nice in order to be her gf. I never intended to have feelings for her. Within the first day, she told that she was moving to another country in one month so I had no plans of making her my gf. I also did all that stuff for her because seeing her happy made me happy. Even after that I found that she wasn't moving out, I still didn't want her; She left Islam to believe her conspiracy theories (I am Muslim) , she hates kids (I love kids), hates cooking (I want my girl to cook), no ambition in life, no goal, no career, doesn't see the need to improve herself BUT she was extremely fun and very pretty. And the two last latter things just grew into me later on.

Stop being a victim. You are acting like a schmuck. You don't need to have long boring conversations about your feelings, you need to man the hell up and move on. Have some self-respect, man.

If you want to still be friends, then fine, but do so on your terms. If you can't do that (and I suspect you can't), you need to remove this person from your life. There are 7 billion people on this planet, and not a single one is indispensable to your life.

I Completely unreservedly agree 110% with the guy above,
Tell her to stay away, ignore her, delete her from your phone don't pick up her calls ..

Squidgeypaws007

Text her to say you've met someone, & you need your cash back to purchase condoms.

LOL :flowerforyou:

Number_44

UPDATE:
Okay, I went to talk to this girl yesterday. I told her that everyone is telling me to avoid talking to her and I feel that she is using me. I stated my arguments why I thought so. lol, she said that I didn't use you, and there are many other people who are waiting for me to use, but I don't. She later on started crying saying how could I accuse her of that and that I never cared for her, but she obviously knows that I do. Once I saw her cry, I couldn't help but say sorry. I kept saying that because I felt bad for making her cry. I left and texted her a bunch of times saying that I feel bad for making you cry.

Honestly, I bought up every argument that I can and she wouldn't have the answers. She would be like I got too friendly with you, blah blah blah. I seriously do think that she was unaware of it. She said that every guy does this to her and it didn't seem out of the ordinary. I honestly think that she did not have malice but she is obviously crazy and has princess syndrome. Actually, the first day that I met her, I thought that she was crazy. She believes in ALL the conspiracy theories that I know; from illuminati to fake moon landing to 911 truthers to freemasons to Queen Elizabeth being a half-reptilian.

I also told her I felt used when I helped you get a job and when you didn't need me, you ran off to another guy. She's like I didn't want a relationship, but it unexpectedly happened.

===

Reading other people's comment, I have to say that wasn't nice in order to be her gf. I never intended to have feelings for her. Within the first day, she told that she was moving to another country in one month so I had no plans of making her my gf. I also did all that stuff for her because seeing her happy made me happy. Even after that I found that she wasn't moving out, I still didn't want her; She left Islam to believe her conspiracy theories (I am Muslim) , she hates kids (I love kids), hates cooking (I want my girl to cook), no ambition in life, no goal, no career, doesn't see the need to improve herself BUT she was extremely fun and very pretty. And the two last latter things just grew into me later on.

Stop being a victim. You are acting like a schmuck. You don't need to have long boring conversations about your feelings, you need to man the hell up and move on. Have some self-respect, man.

If you want to still be friends, then fine, but do so on your terms. If you can't do that (and I suspect you can't), you need to remove this person from your life. There are 7 billion people on this planet, and not a single one is indispensable to your life.

I Completely unreservedly agree 110% with the guy above,
Tell her to stay away, ignore her, delete her from your phone don't pick up her calls ..

^^ Agree with the above

When she didn't have a job, she would wait for me in the balcony.

After 2 months, she had some problems with money and no job. I loaned her money, I got her a job at my workplace, I provided her food, I picked and dropped her off to work and I cooked for her, while she never cooked for me. I also paid for everything whenever we went out. And anything that she asked me to do, I never denied any of her requests.

^^ And if you keep doing this right there. You deserve everything you get.

fitterpam

You are not the middle-man in this issue, you ARE THE MAN!

Well put!!!!

nm212

I think you already know the answer to your own questions. This girl is using you but at this point, it is your choice now whether or not to put up with it. I think in the beginning she did like you, AS a FRIEND. I see this happening alot, where alot of girls see their friends as FRIENDS and alot of guys developing feelings for their close female friends. If you never kissed her or made a move, she probably thought you felt the same or weren't interested in her so you fell into the friend zone. SORRY but you can't blame her for this. If you helped her, cooked for her, gave her money, became her driver, became her best friend, that is not her fault. Have you ever had an open and honest conversation with her about it? I bet if she knew how you felt, she would feel really bad that she led you on. If not, then she is very selfish and you should kick her *kitten* out of the apt. She knows what she's doing at this point but you have to stop letting her walk all over you. That's on YOU. No sympathy here for that, sorry.

jerbsod

I think in the beginning she did like you, AS a FRIEND. I see this happening a lot, where a lot of girls see their friends as FRIENDS and alot of guys developing feelings for their close female friends. If you never kissed her or made a move, she probably thought you felt the same or weren't interested in her so you fell into the friend zone. SORRY but you can't blame her for this. If you helped her, cooked for her, gave her money, became her driver, became her best friend, that is not her fault.

Close female friends? that is a new concept..short answer no, leads to too many problems:
ie that guy.
- tell her you don't want to want to talk to her, or see her ever again and stick with it no matter what, it's the only way guys a wired to deal with these things.

blably

wow this thread is still goin?

nm212

I disagree. I think males and females can be close friends. Maybe not THAT close though. lol She was basically treating him like a boyfriend., so yeah that's wrong. Find a new place to live or tell her to find a new place.

I think in the beginning she did like you, AS a FRIEND. I see this happening a lot, where a lot of girls see their friends as FRIENDS and alot of guys developing feelings for their close female friends. If you never kissed her or made a move, she probably thought you felt the same or weren't interested in her so you fell into the friend zone. SORRY but you can't blame her for this. If you helped her, cooked for her, gave her money, became her driver, became her best friend, that is not her fault.

Close female friends? that is a new concept..short answer no, leads to too many problems:
ie that guy.
- tell her you don't want to want to talk to her, or see her ever again and stick with it no matter what, it's the only way guys a wired to deal with these things.

spartyhawk

Kick her out she is using you plain and simple

seltzermint555

This girl is not your friend. She doesn't care about you. Break those ties as quickly as you can, because it is only going to cause more problems and misery for you the longer it continues.

My true hope for you is that someday you will find someone who cares as much about you as you do about them. You deserve that.

I hate to say this, as it feels a bit like kicking someone when they are down, but you seem to have some problems with boundaries and self-esteem. I think it may be a good idea to seek counseling if that is possible for you. I wish you all the best but please get out of that situation. She is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

DMZ_1

I've always gotten a kick out of the OP's screen name of "rationalthinker", which partially explains this situation. It is my perception based on what I have observed that women, particularly Western women, primarily pick their sexual partners based on feelings instead of logic. So being a rational thinker wouldn't necessarily help get a woman to have sex with him, which is something that guys want with women that they find attractive.

Lesson here is that it is best to make emotional appeal to stir up feelings of attraction. Additionally, as a guy, it is key not to be a doormat.

sway1080

Text her to say you've met someone, & you need your cash back to purchase condoms.

OMG this ^^^^^ SOOOO much! hahaha
She deserves that. You are too nice. and your feeling for her have made you blind Cut her off now!! Good luck to you!

pseudomuffin

You are being used. Is she still living with you? You probably need to ask her to move out and find a new roommate. Then block her number from your cell and avoid her a work as much as possible.

She still lives in the same house but I don't see her daily. We still text and call daily though.

I want to block her but she still has my money. Out of $350, $100 is still left.

Just think of it as $100 paid towards getting your self respect back. This girl used you and she is awful for it, don't let her keep stringing you along.

BigDaddyRonnie

Dude, really? I mean...really?

~shakes head~

C-mon - read all of these comments, put your big boy pants on, and go...move on...run.
It's only $100. Something tells me if this goes any further...its going to be more, much much more.

Dude...