Another Mom under fire for post baby selfie.

FindingMyPerfection

"bare minimum" as stated by whom?

Those minimums don't really mean everything other than that they're a mean, based on a hypothesis and some sometimes outdated studies.

The placenta, extra fluid, extra blood and the baby all weigh SOMETHING. The fact that it varies is accounted for by the proscribed range of acceptable weight gain. If someone gains less than this it means she's actually losing weight from her pre-existing stores which is not recommended unless the mother was overweight to begin with.

I fail to see the problem unless she is not taking in the propped amount of vitamins and minerals. Just because you are at a healthy weight doesn't make it bad to lose fat store while pregnant.

ironanimal

And notice what the woman in that second picture is wearing compared to what the woman in the OP is wearing.

I don't get your point.

Anyway, not here to argue, just wanted to point the post out to you in case you hadn't seen it.

My point is there is more to postpartum than a belly that's big or not big. Do you know what happens in the vaginal area after having a baby?

I can't see hers, or the woman in the OP's vagina.

So I still don't get your point.

Based on what I can see, the results in both cases were pretty similar. Which means it can happen, even if it didn't happen to you.

Don't seek out things to be upset about. It's silly.

Hauntinglyfit

Whenever I post a picture of my outstanding self, what I have in mind is "dear god, i am so hot", not "here you go womens, this is what you need to look like". Then I french kiss the mirror.

But society.

Society? Is that like when your grandma tells you to never stop to talk to guys on the street, because what will people think, and you start inviting them all to your room instead to make sure people don't "think" you're easy?

mank32

"...The competition..."

'competition'? where? :huh:

brower47

The only reason to be annoyed at something like this is because you feel guilty, and that is not the fault of the person posting the picture.

Perfect reply.

She looks awesome. I don't have her genes so will never look like her but I can (and will) look the best I can be so her ost is very encouraging.

Can't women be annoyed with seeing something like this because it perpetuates an unrealistic standard and not be feeling guilty or jealous?

This woman has every right to be proud of herself and she didn't do anything wrong - and people who are making personal remarks about her husband, if she had a healthy pregnancy, or priorities are just mean spirited. But women, who are constantly told how they should and should not look, can be annoyed that this image, because this woman is, no doubt, the exception to the rule. She gets all these accolades for what is entirely genetic, if this is actually 4 days post. Does that mean this woman can't be proud? HELL NO. She can be. She should be, unless it's fake and then she's doing a world of harm. And yes, it's totally valid to question if this is real because biologically speaking, universally all women take longer to recover. I didn't take longer, my doctor also told me I was basically a freak of nature. So healthy skepticism with that in mind, in the face of a society that tells women we need to be virginal, sex kittens with also telling us we need to be sexy mommies seems TOTALLY logical.

Maybe instead of calling jealousy without thinking, consider that women who don't appreciate this picture as a celebration of ONE women, probably are just annoyed that society as a whole thinks this is what women should look like. And if you don't, you are seen as less than.

The end.

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if ignorance is king. I'd rather go the educated route than tell this woman she shouldn't post a picture of herself.

Educate the masses instead of assuming they are too dumb to understand and cope with reality.

The beginning?

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if it's not real. If it is real, this is one person's celebration of their experience. Their experience just isn't the norm.

The frustration other people might have of this image might not be jealousy based (as this might be their goal) but frustration with a society that sets this as its standard.

So we should avoid all forms of expression if it's not the norm so we can 'protect' some people from themselves and what they percieve society wants them to do and be?

Yes, let's embrace mediocrity and save everyone any possible annoyance. That's definitely the path we should go down. It's best to ignore the problems of society rather than try to correct them. Band-Aids solve everything. The band-aid in this case being that women with great postpartum bodies should keep to themselves.

:noway:

So, I've been reading this whole thread and I have to jump in here. What you are saying here is not at all what the original poster in the quote was advocating or even how she feels herself.

The woman in the photo looks awesome. Good for her. While I think there are a lot of women out there that are jealous of her, there are others who are not jealous but may still be apprehensive about the photo simply for the fact that it begs a lot of questions and discussion about what a healthy pregnancy and postpartum should look like.

It's the apprehension (frustration) that I'm talking about. Why are some people apprehensive when they see this? Because photos like this might cause the perception in some women that they have to look like this right after giving birth? If that's the case, fight against it. Use the photo as an opportunity to educate people. Work to remove that reaction to the photo (the apprehension) because once people understand that each body reacts differently to pregnancy, that apprehension will dissipate.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

The only reason to be annoyed at something like this is because you feel guilty, and that is not the fault of the person posting the picture.

Perfect reply.

She looks awesome. I don't have her genes so will never look like her but I can (and will) look the best I can be so her ost is very encouraging.

Can't women be annoyed with seeing something like this because it perpetuates an unrealistic standard and not be feeling guilty or jealous?

This woman has every right to be proud of herself and she didn't do anything wrong - and people who are making personal remarks about her husband, if she had a healthy pregnancy, or priorities are just mean spirited. But women, who are constantly told how they should and should not look, can be annoyed that this image, because this woman is, no doubt, the exception to the rule. She gets all these accolades for what is entirely genetic, if this is actually 4 days post. Does that mean this woman can't be proud? HELL NO. She can be. She should be, unless it's fake and then she's doing a world of harm. And yes, it's totally valid to question if this is real because biologically speaking, universally all women take longer to recover. I didn't take longer, my doctor also told me I was basically a freak of nature. So healthy skepticism with that in mind, in the face of a society that tells women we need to be virginal, sex kittens with also telling us we need to be sexy mommies seems TOTALLY logical.

Maybe instead of calling jealousy without thinking, consider that women who don't appreciate this picture as a celebration of ONE women, probably are just annoyed that society as a whole thinks this is what women should look like. And if you don't, you are seen as less than.

The end.

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if ignorance is king. I'd rather go the educated route than tell this woman she shouldn't post a picture of herself.

Educate the masses instead of assuming they are too dumb to understand and cope with reality.

The beginning?

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if it's not real. If it is real, this is one person's celebration of their experience. Their experience just isn't the norm.

The frustration other people might have of this image might not be jealousy based (as this might be their goal) but frustration with a society that sets this as its standard.

So we should avoid all forms of expression if it's not the norm so we can 'protect' some people from themselves and what they percieve society wants them to do and be?

Yes, let's embrace mediocrity and save everyone any possible annoyance. That's definitely the path we should go down. It's best to ignore the problems of society rather than try to correct them. Band-Aids solve everything. The band-aid in this case being that women with great postpartum bodies should keep to themselves.

:noway:

:huh: Are you actually reading my posts?

I definitely think this woman has every right to post this picture - I have repeatedly written that in other comments and have argued with people who have insinuated she has whacky priorities or a husband that doesn't pay attention to her.

All I am saying is, viewing everyone who doesn't like this photo as jealous might big ignoring a larger problem -- the we have a society full of women who feel a pressure to look a certain way. Rather than say to them, "You just want to look like this and don't, so you have sour grapes" we miiiight want to look at what's causing those feelings to begin with (hint: it's not this picture).

devil_in_a_blue_dress

The only reason to be annoyed at something like this is because you feel guilty, and that is not the fault of the person posting the picture.

Perfect reply.

She looks awesome. I don't have her genes so will never look like her but I can (and will) look the best I can be so her ost is very encouraging.

Can't women be annoyed with seeing something like this because it perpetuates an unrealistic standard and not be feeling guilty or jealous?

This woman has every right to be proud of herself and she didn't do anything wrong - and people who are making personal remarks about her husband, if she had a healthy pregnancy, or priorities are just mean spirited. But women, who are constantly told how they should and should not look, can be annoyed that this image, because this woman is, no doubt, the exception to the rule. She gets all these accolades for what is entirely genetic, if this is actually 4 days post. Does that mean this woman can't be proud? HELL NO. She can be. She should be, unless it's fake and then she's doing a world of harm. And yes, it's totally valid to question if this is real because biologically speaking, universally all women take longer to recover. I didn't take longer, my doctor also told me I was basically a freak of nature. So healthy skepticism with that in mind, in the face of a society that tells women we need to be virginal, sex kittens with also telling us we need to be sexy mommies seems TOTALLY logical.

Maybe instead of calling jealousy without thinking, consider that women who don't appreciate this picture as a celebration of ONE women, probably are just annoyed that society as a whole thinks this is what women should look like. And if you don't, you are seen as less than.

The end.

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if ignorance is king. I'd rather go the educated route than tell this woman she shouldn't post a picture of herself.

Educate the masses instead of assuming they are too dumb to understand and cope with reality.

The beginning?

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if it's not real. If it is real, this is one person's celebration of their experience. Their experience just isn't the norm.

The frustration other people might have of this image might not be jealousy based (as this might be their goal) but frustration with a society that sets this as its standard.

So we should avoid all forms of expression if it's not the norm so we can 'protect' some people from themselves and what they percieve society wants them to do and be?

Yes, let's embrace mediocrity and save everyone any possible annoyance. That's definitely the path we should go down. It's best to ignore the problems of society rather than try to correct them. Band-Aids solve everything. The band-aid in this case being that women with great postpartum bodies should keep to themselves.

:noway:

So, I've been reading this whole thread and I have to jump in here. What you are saying here is not at all what the original poster in the quote was advocating or even how she feels herself.

The woman in the photo looks awesome. Good for her. While I think there are a lot of women out there that are jealous of her, there are others who are not jealous but may still be apprehensive about the photo simply for the fact that it begs a lot of questions and discussion about what a healthy pregnancy and postpartum should look like.

:flowerforyou:

Thank you! That is exactly what I trying to say.

Achrya

Whenever I post a picture of my outstanding self, what I have in mind is "dear god, i am so hot", not "here you go womens, this is what you need to look like". Then I french kiss the mirror.

But society.

Society? Is that like when your grandma tells you to never stop to talk to guys on the street, because what will people think, and you start inviting them all to your room instead to make sure people don't "think" you're easy?

But then you eventually go "eff it" and do what you want because screw trying to act a certain way as to not upset the precious feelings of bitter people? And leave them to grumble about how appearing easy sets standards and images and expectations that other people can't live up to?

Yes, exactly like that.

QuietBloom

Well, your a man. Which at first might excuse your thinking. But then jof is also a man. So you don't get that excuse. You are just jumping in with your 'you're all just so jealous' which is both demeaning, and ignores the actual good discussions that are happening. But by all means, carry on. Your photo only ads the general derpiness of your comments. :flowerforyou:

While you're completely inaccurate with your shallow interpretation, I will defend your right to be so wrong.

I did appreciate the, "but youse a mans," argument. Was classic.

Shallow? I could argue that you running around with your LOLZ and 'your so jealous' comments are rather shallow. Or is there a deeper truth you are hinting at?

Shallow, lacking in depth, 14 second attempt and analysis after coming up with a preconceived position based on the "you're a man" argument. It was a failure, but I won't hold it against you. The attempted body shaming of the people pissed off by her pictures is amusing, as was your attempt at "shaming" me, or whatever that was with your statement about how I look.

I would say more, but I don't think I could continue being as polite as you seem to need.

Oh sweetie, no need to be polite on my part. Please do carry on. I'd like to hear your deeper truths. :flowerforyou:

SoDamnHungry

Pretty tacky, and obviously this woman needs confirmation that she's attractive. I'd feel bad if I had just given birth and had to see a photo of that woman who genetics seem to favor, too. She's obviously showing off and wants everyone to tell her how amazing she is.

But she isn't really doing anything wrong. No need to be under fire over it.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

The only reason to be annoyed at something like this is because you feel guilty, and that is not the fault of the person posting the picture.

Perfect reply.

She looks awesome. I don't have her genes so will never look like her but I can (and will) look the best I can be so her ost is very encouraging.

Can't women be annoyed with seeing something like this because it perpetuates an unrealistic standard and not be feeling guilty or jealous?

This woman has every right to be proud of herself and she didn't do anything wrong - and people who are making personal remarks about her husband, if she had a healthy pregnancy, or priorities are just mean spirited. But women, who are constantly told how they should and should not look, can be annoyed that this image, because this woman is, no doubt, the exception to the rule. She gets all these accolades for what is entirely genetic, if this is actually 4 days post. Does that mean this woman can't be proud? HELL NO. She can be. She should be, unless it's fake and then she's doing a world of harm. And yes, it's totally valid to question if this is real because biologically speaking, universally all women take longer to recover. I didn't take longer, my doctor also told me I was basically a freak of nature. So healthy skepticism with that in mind, in the face of a society that tells women we need to be virginal, sex kittens with also telling us we need to be sexy mommies seems TOTALLY logical.

Maybe instead of calling jealousy without thinking, consider that women who don't appreciate this picture as a celebration of ONE women, probably are just annoyed that society as a whole thinks this is what women should look like. And if you don't, you are seen as less than.

The end.

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if ignorance is king. I'd rather go the educated route than tell this woman she shouldn't post a picture of herself.

Educate the masses instead of assuming they are too dumb to understand and cope with reality.

The beginning?

It only perpetuates an unrealistic standard if it's not real. If it is real, this is one person's celebration of their experience. Their experience just isn't the norm.

The frustration other people might have of this image might not be jealousy based (as this might be their goal) but frustration with a society that sets this as its standard.

So we should avoid all forms of expression if it's not the norm so we can 'protect' some people from themselves and what they percieve society wants them to do and be?

Yes, let's embrace mediocrity and save everyone any possible annoyance. That's definitely the path we should go down. It's best to ignore the problems of society rather than try to correct them. Band-Aids solve everything. The band-aid in this case being that women with great postpartum bodies should keep to themselves.

:noway:

So, I've been reading this whole thread and I have to jump in here. What you are saying here is not at all what the original poster in the quote was advocating or even how she feels herself.

The woman in the photo looks awesome. Good for her. While I think there are a lot of women out there that are jealous of her, there are others who are not jealous but may still be apprehensive about the photo simply for the fact that it begs a lot of questions and discussion about what a healthy pregnancy and postpartum should look like.

It's the apprehension (frustration) that I'm talking about. Why are some people apprehensive when they see this? Because photos like this might cause the perception in some women that they have to look like this right after giving birth? If that's the case, fight against it. Use the photo as an opportunity to educate people. Work to remove that reaction to the photo (the apprehension) because once people understand that each body reacts differently to pregnancy, that apprehension will dissipate.

They are apprehensive because from the time women are young girls, they are force fed a particular standard of beauty. It takes time for women to come to terms with that and realize the standard is unrealistic. The apprehension is entirely understandable and normal. Working to remove that reaction encapsulates a number of changes that it to happen on a societal level.

JewelsinBigD

Some have hinted at it, but I don't think anyone has actually said it...

...so I will.


I'm predicting this is a fake. Oh, sure, it's a real pic, but I don't think this was 4 days postpartum.


There...I said it.

Seems physically impossible, just knowing how the body works and all. I wouldn't doubt that she could be 6 months postpartum (but 4 days).

This was my thinking.

And like I said, if it's legit, all the kudos to her...

...and she still looks good, however long since she had a baby.

I am glad somebody else questions if it was 4 days. Honestly, I wouldn't think twice if it said 4 weeks, but like, your uterus has to contract -- biologically speaking that takes weeks.

thank you!

dbmata

Oh sweetie, no need to be polite on my part. Please do carry on. I'd like to hear your deeper truths. :flowerforyou:

Bless your soul.

Chain_Ring

10/10

Achrya

Pretty tacky, and obviously this woman needs confirmation that she's attractive. I'd feel bad if I had just given birth and had to see a photo of that woman who genetics seem to favor, too. She's obviously showing off and wants everyone to tell her how amazing she is.

But she isn't really doing anything wrong. No need to be under fire over it.

Why is showing off tacky? Why is wanting to be told you're awesome or attractive stated as a bad thing? Why in the world would someone who probably didn't look like this woman pre-pregnancy be upset they don't look like her post pregnancy?

I'm so confounded by people.

Hauntinglyfit

Whenever I post a picture of my outstanding self, what I have in mind is "dear god, i am so hot", not "here you go womens, this is what you need to look like". Then I french kiss the mirror.

But society.

Society? Is that like when your grandma tells you to never stop to talk to guys on the street, because what will people think, and you start inviting them all to your room instead to make sure people don't "think" you're easy?

But then you eventually go "eff it" and do what you want because screw trying to act a certain way as to not upset the precious feelings of bitter people? And leave them to grumble about how appearing easy sets standards and images and expectations that other people can't live up to?

Yes, exactly like that.

But you eventually eff the guys, and make sure your grandma finds out.

JuliaLee67

meh, she's a professional fitness model who carried smaller and didn't put on a lot of weight, and continued working out thruout her pregnancy. nothing wrong with what she's doing. the problem starts when ALL women are held to that standard. not all women are professional fitness models and not all women have her body. I know women who work very hard and will never look like that, ever [myself included]. they aren't lazy or unmotivated, they're just different. they shouldn't be shamed, and neither should she.

PRMinx

It's the apprehension (frustration) that I'm talking about. Why are some people apprehensive when they see this? Because photos like this might cause the perception in some women that they have to look like this right after giving birth? If that's the case, fight against it. Use the photo as an opportunity to educate people. Work to remove that reaction to the photo (the apprehension) because once people understand that each body reacts differently to pregnancy, that apprehension will dissipate.

I agree with all of this that you are saying - and I applaud you for being a strong, confident woman. Not every woman, however, is there yet. This photo is a great opportunity to open the discussion and have a healthy debate (if debate is even the right word). Some, like you and me, will dive right in. But, reducing the reaction of women who are more apprehensive to jealousy is over-simplifying a very complex issue that plays out on both a personal and a societal level.

sunnshhiine

I had to laugh when I read..

"This is not a selfie. This is an act of war,"

Really?!

This. I laughed as well.

QuietBloom

It's the apprehension (frustration) that I'm talking about. Why are some people apprehensive when they see this? Because photos like this might cause the perception in some women that they have to look like this right after giving birth? If that's the case, fight against it. Use the photo as an opportunity to educate people. Work to remove that reaction to the photo (the apprehension) because once people understand that each body reacts differently to pregnancy, that apprehension will dissipate.

I agree with all of this that you are saying - and I applaud you for being a strong, confident woman. Not every woman, however, is there yet. This photo is a great opportunity to open the discussion and have a healthy debate (if debate is even the right word). Some, like you and me, will dive right in. But, reducing the reaction of women who are more apprehensive to jealousy is over-simplifying a very complex issue that plays out on both a personal and a societal level.

Thank you!