Thoughts on Lingerie
Replies
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Hmm, those inch sizes don't help me much if I'm going to do this discreetly.
Is a cami that has DTF printed on it a little too obvious?0 -
I believe you. I make no claims that what I was taught at the time was either mainstream feminist theory of the day, or in keeping with contemporary feminist thought. It's merely what I was taught at the time.
No, because sex in any form is a type of violence against women designed to oppress them. This even applies to male homosexual acts, which oppress women by excluding them.
Your friend's argument reminds me of the logic (perhaps using that term loosely) espoused in some of the classes on Gender Studies taught at my old college in the 1990's. Basically, any present that a guy bought for a woman was his way of oppressing her, as was anything a woman bought that could be perceived as sexy or related to so-called 'traditional' gender roles. For added fun, any guy who declined to pay for things or asked that expenses be shared was also guilty of misogyny by virtue of those acts, for reasons I never fully grasped.I was talking with one of my friends earlier who told me she was quite upset that her husband bought her lingerie. She said it was more for him than her. I disagreed with her. I think it's actually kind of sexy for a man to buy something sexy for his wife or girlfriend. What do you think?
So the guy is f***** coming or going? :laugh: :laugh:
Sadly, I'm not making that up.
As a feminist this does.not.compute.
Also, I would be THRILLED if a boyfriend bought me lingerie and I love buying it for myself as well.0 -
I believe you. I make no claims that what I was taught at the time was either mainstream feminist theory of the day, or in keeping with contemporary feminist thought. It's merely what I was taught at the time.
Were you at Berkeley? Sounds like it...0 -
Nope. I was at a tiny little college nobody's likely to have heard of on the East Coast.I believe you. I make no claims that what I was taught at the time was either mainstream feminist theory of the day, or in keeping with contemporary feminist thought. It's merely what I was taught at the time.
Were you at Berkeley? Sounds like it...0 -
I hate lingerie.
When he is willing to dress up in a suit for me, I'll be ready to wear slinky stuff for him.
<----Your turn!0 -
I love lingerie! The only awkward thing is if your partner buys it in the wrong size lol
LOL imagine a size (or more) too big! How traumatizing!0 -
I hate lingerie.
When he is willing to dress up in a suit for me, I'll be ready to wear slinky stuff for him.
<----Your turn!
I hate that- my BF is a very 'relaxed' dresser- and I tend to not be- I really wish he would get down with dressing more snappy- I don't understand how he is comfortable wearing ill fitting sloppy clothing.
But I got nice and dressed for Thanksgiving... put on a nice dress when he ran out- and he was kind enough to change and put on a nicer shirt- I hate having holiday dinners in sweats- even if it's just the two of us- I like making it a point to make it special.0 -
I hate lingerie.
When he is willing to dress up in a suit for me, I'll be ready to wear slinky stuff for him.
<----Your turn!
I hate that- my BF is a very 'relaxed' dresser- and I tend to not be- I really wish he would get down with dressing more snappy- I don't understand how he is comfortable wearing ill fitting sloppy clothing.
But I got nice and dressed for Thanksgiving... put on a nice dress when he ran out- and he was kind enough to change and put on a nicer shirt- I hate having holiday dinners in sweats- even if it's just the two of us- I like making it a point to make it special.
I love a good suit!!0 -
My missus actually enjoys dressing up for me and has now started to pick stuff out she likes. She said she feels sexy when she's all dressed up for me and that for me is the result I wanted the rest is a bonus.0
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my opinion is less is better!!! LMAO
:drinker:
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BTW, this thread is nothing without pics.0
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I don't usually buy lingerie for my significant other because we don't need it, lol...but if I were I'm sure that she wouldn't mind since it would be something different.0
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love love LOVE lingerie. and if my man bought something for me to wear, you better believe that I would wear it!
Lingerie when a woman buys it can go both ways, she either feels super sexy and wears it for herself, or she wants attention (again for self reasoning but gets the man or woman's attention!). Lingerie is a multi use tool!0 -
I think it looks sexiest on the floor.
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in general, I'd find it to be a really nice present and I'd really like it. And I think it's a good thing for both partners to take each others' tastes into account when dressing up to go out, or for the bedroom.
however i had one boyfriend in the dim and distant past who kept buying me specific lingerie items and had this whole attitude that he couldn't get sexy with me unless I was wearing it, and I really felt that he didn't like me at all, or even find me attractive, it seemed to be the lingerie that turned him on and he just wanted someone to wear it for him. There were other issues in the relationship besides this and it didn't last long. But I thought I'd mention it because maybe the OP's friend has something like this going on in the relationship, and her reaction to the lingerie present comes from a whole bunch of other stuff going on in the relationship, and the lingerie is just a final straw kind of thing.0 -
Ive bought lingerie for my wife and she loves it,shes also bought stuff for me to wear and we both enjoy and even though it ends up on the floor I would have to say it really enhances our sex lives
hurray for lingerie0 -
How can you not like lingerie?
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love it. thus far i've had experience with dudes that were lukewarm on it. that's okay. i'll wear it if i wanna, make you look at it for no longer than two seconds and say 'very nice', then take it off leave it on the floor. it's all good. if i've been wearing my goodies under my clothes all day i've already derived my primary benefit--the rest is gravy. there's nothing quite like unseen lace and garters to put a smile on a girl's face when she's going about her mundane daily activities... if i ever have a meeting of the er 'minds' with a guy who likes lingerie as much as me, well, i'll be pleased.0
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I was talking with one of my friends earlier who told me she was quite upset that her husband bought her lingerie. She said it was more for him than her. I disagreed with her. I think it's actually kind of sexy for a man to buy something sexy for his wife or girlfriend. What do you think?
LMAO!!! She is mad for this?!?!? If that is the case then sounds like some other issues are going on with her....
Seriously, for us guys to buy things like this we obviously have a motive behind it but IMO, at least for me anyhow, it is for both. She gets to strut around in something sexy and watch us be all into it and we get... well you know where I am going with this. If something was meant "just for her" it would be a plain bath robe or something like that as an example.0 -
Sexy lingerie is 95% of my lingerie wardrobe. :blushing:
I wear it because it makes me feel good. :smokin:
And when my man buys it for me well, ........BONEUS!!! :drinker:
I agree! I have tons of it: it makes ME feel sexy and more confident. If he bought it for me, it means he wants to see me in it, which would make me feel doubly good!0 -
Maybe there is more to her not wanting lingerie than she is letting on... I love lingerie now that I love my figure but before I would probably feel akward getting it from a bf and feel pressured. Lingerie is sexy but it requires some confidence imo
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I have given up buying my wife lingerie. I have gotten her various outfits and she just doesn't wear any. It's not like I buy anything out of the "ordinary" either (nothing.... complicated). She just thinks that now that she is a mother, she shouldn't wear anything like that.
Kinda frustrating.
Pull it out of the drawer and lay it on the bed. When she asks what it is, say "a hopeful hint".
Maybe hand it to her?
lol... If it was only that easy. I think it would just get shoved back into the drawer without a word.
Wrong.
Steal ( and hide) all her non sexy underwear. She can go commando, wear yours or the sexy stuff.
Not that i see the point in lingerie, my so would rather see me nakid...
Now this might be brilliant. :happy:0 -
I love sexy underthings, that is really the only kind I wear, but not so much sleep wear, because it tends to be frilly and uncomfortable. There are some really sexy play wear for men and women so it would be my preference if he were to buy something for me to wear, he could also surprise me with something sexy for him to wear also.0
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I think it really depends on the situation!I was talking with one of my friends earlier who told me she was quite upset that her husband bought her lingerie. She said it was more for him than her. I disagreed with her. I think it's actually kind of sexy for a man to buy something sexy for his wife or girlfriend. What do you think?
Times when the gift is one 'for her':
- She owns no lingerie, but mentions that she'd never got round to buying some and might like to try it.
- She owns some/lots of lingerie, wears it and apparently likes it and/or expresses an interest in having more!
Times when the gift is really 'for him':
- She owns no lingerie. Topic comes up in conversation, she expresses that she's not keen. He buys her some anyway.
- She owns none/owns some but never wears it. He expresses that he'd think she'd look sexy/find her attractive in it (possibly repeatedly). She is noncomittal, and still never buys/wears it. He then buys her some.
- She owns some lingerie, wears it occasionally but mostly for his benefit. He buys her more.
- She owns some lingerie of a particular style and likes it, he goes and buys her some of a completely different style, perhaps knowing she doesn't like it but he does.
Basically it comes down to common sense: as a man, if the reason you're buying it is soley because you want to see her in it/find it hot, and NOT because you geniunely think she'll like it, then it's a gift for you, not for her!
How 'acceptable' that is depends on the situation - if you're buying it as a present out of the blue (rather than for her birthday or something) then it's less of an issue if it's just 'for him', although you need to be careful that you don't come over as looking like you're saying 'I only think you're sexy if you wear this' or even coming over as the more demanding 'Go and put this on now because I want to see you in it'.0 -
I hate that- my BF is a very 'relaxed' dresser- and I tend to not be- I really wish he would get down with dressing more snappy- I don't understand how he is comfortable wearing ill fitting sloppy clothing.
Maybe this might help, but the turning point for me was buying a very nice suit fully tailored to me. From then on, boom, it was on. ALL of my wardrobe got better.0 -
I think it really depends on the situation!I was talking with one of my friends earlier who told me she was quite upset that her husband bought her lingerie. She said it was more for him than her. I disagreed with her. I think it's actually kind of sexy for a man to buy something sexy for his wife or girlfriend. What do you think?
Times when the gift is one 'for her':
- She owns no lingerie, but mentions that she'd never got round to buying some and might like to try it.
- She owns some/lots of lingerie, wears it and apparently likes it and/or expresses an interest in having more!
Times when the gift is really 'for him':
- She owns no lingerie. Topic comes up in conversation, she expresses that she's not keen. He buys her some anyway.
- She owns none/owns some but never wears it. He expresses that he'd think she'd look sexy/find her attractive in it (possibly repeatedly). She is noncomittal, and still never buys/wears it. He then buys her some.
- She owns some lingerie, wears it occasionally but mostly for his benefit. He buys her more.
- She owns some lingerie of a particular style and likes it, he goes and buys her some of a completely different style, perhaps knowing she doesn't like it but he does.
Basically it comes down to common sense: as a man, if the reason you're buying it is soley because you want to see her in it/find it hot, and NOT because you geniunely think she'll like it, then it's a gift for you, not for her!
How 'acceptable' that is depends on the situation - if you're buying it as a present out of the blue (rather than for her birthday or something) then it's less of an issue if it's just 'for him', although you need to be careful that you don't come over as looking like you're saying 'I only think you're sexy if you wear this' or even coming over as the more demanding 'Go and put this on now because I want to see you in it'.0 -
Most of the time I'm naked, or wearing a boy's shirt that smells like him.
I think it really depends on the situation!I was talking with one of my friends earlier who told me she was quite upset that her husband bought her lingerie. She said it was more for him than her. I disagreed with her. I think it's actually kind of sexy for a man to buy something sexy for his wife or girlfriend. What do you think?
Times when the gift is one 'for her':
- She owns no lingerie, but mentions that she'd never got round to buying some and might like to try it.
- She owns some/lots of lingerie, wears it and apparently likes it and/or expresses an interest in having more
Times when the gift is really 'for him':
- She owns no lingerie. Topic comes up in conversation, she expresses that she's not keen. He buys her some anyway.
- She owns none/owns some but never wears it. He expresses that he'd think she'd look sexy/find her attractive in it (possibly repeatedly). She is noncomittal, and still never buys/wears it. He then buys her some.
- She owns some lingerie, wears it occasionally but mostly for his benefit. He buys her more.
- She owns some lingerie of a particular style and likes it, he goes and buys her some of a completely different style, perhaps knowing she doesn't like it but he does.
Basically it comes down to common sense: as a man, if the reason you're buying it is soley because you want to see her in it/find it hot, and NOT because you geniunely think she'll like it, then it's a gift for you, not for her!
How 'acceptable' that is depends on the situation - if you're buying it as a present out of the blue (rather than for her birthday or something) then it's less of an issue if it's just 'for him', although you need to be careful that you don't come over as looking like you're saying 'I only think you're sexy if you wear this' or even coming over as the more demanding 'Go and put this on now because I want to see you in it'.
The lingerie is for me.0 -
I hate that- my BF is a very 'relaxed' dresser- and I tend to not be- I really wish he would get down with dressing more snappy- I don't understand how he is comfortable wearing ill fitting sloppy clothing.
I leave the nice clothes dressing to my wife, I have no fashion sense....
So if she wants me to look nice, she will buy me the clothes, and I will wear them......of course all the compliments I get on clothing, are all for things she bought me. :laugh: :laugh:
Left up to me, I am jeans and t-shirt. 0 -
I was talking with one of my friends earlier who told me she was quite upset that her husband bought her lingerie. She said it was more for him than her. I disagreed with her. I think it's actually kind of sexy for a man to buy something sexy for his wife or girlfriend. What do you think?
By that rationale your friend wouldn't want diamonds either. Those aren't for her, they are to show off to others. Maybe he should just buy her a loufa or a fling cabinet, things that are practical.0 -
dbmata Joined Mar 2013 Posts: 2,139December 6, 2013 7:02 am Hmm, those inch sizes don't help me much if I'm going to do this discreetly.
Is a cami that has DTF printed on it a little too obvious?
Honestly, a DTF Statement Cami depending on how you roll and play with your woman mightn't be abrasive, for you to comfortably consider personalising it as you've suggested here, but JIC I would recommend you soften it with another gift. *Knowing how open you both are with each other, you'll know best how well this will be received*
Below are suggestions using 2 neutral and conservative cami-sets, to aid you further.
ETA: Realised I wasn't clear enough. You may opt for the personalised statement to be located in like areas as shown via the circle above. You know your woman's shape and which locations would best accentuate her body. If she's a medium and you've seen that she is, then just go with it. Good luck dbmata.0
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