so...this is awkward

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I'm surprised a bit at how flirtatious and teasing most on here seem to be (from the thread replies), especially the married women.
I don't think most women realize how practically any response at all that's anything other than outright negative is an encouragement to most guys for them to continue the pursuit.

Isn't there a middle ground between flirtatious and negative-like friendly acknowledgment but non-encouraging?

Now now, you should know there are no middle grounds on MFP.

PICK A SIDE!!

:flowerforyou:

castadrora85

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I always get the pervert stares. young, old, men, women and its just damn freaky! I wonder sometimes if I have a hole in my pants or **** on my face. lol

FlaxMilk

Now now, you should know there are no middle grounds on MFP.

PICK A SIDE!!

:flowerforyou:

:laugh: :flowerforyou:

lisalsd1

So I have one not-so-secret admirer at the gym. To make a long story short, I was in line behind the guy at BJs a couple of weeks prior to seeing him at the gym. Dude was staring at me waiting for me to see him staring. Joke was on him...I knew he was staring, I was just avoiding eye contact! I'm married...and the dude had some weird tattoos.

Fast forward a couple of weeks...guess who I accidentally made eye contact with at the gym?! Yep, that guy. Oh he was staring hardcore. I didn't want to avert my eyes too quickly...you know that signals: "Damn, I just got caught staring." So I counted: 1,2,3; then looked away. Yeah, he totally had the hots for me...until he figured out I was married!

When I catch guys looking, I usually stare back...and make it awkward. Sometimes, like in the previous scenario, it backfires and you end up with a "gym bf" that constantly looks at your *kitten* when you are squatting.

golfmanwl

I'm surprised a bit at how flirtatious and teasing most on here seem to be (from the thread replies), especially the married women.
I don't think most women realize how practically any response at all that's anything other than outright negative is an encouragement to most guys for them to continue the pursuit.

Isn't there a middle ground between flirtatious and negative-like friendly acknowledgment but non-encouraging?

In my opinion, yes. Like someone mentioned, ignoring it and moving on would be neither flirtation or negative...but that would be more non-acknowledgement, I guess. I'd say to acknowledge it a woman (or guy if the case) could make stoic eye contact to acknowledge it's been noted, but then go to the move on/ignore phase.

TheSlorax

I don't think I get more stares or looks than before, but I have had a couple situations recently in which I have been overtly hit on and I just laugh them off. I am perpetually awkward.

Eta: I find it hilarious that people are so bothered by people admiring them. Lol.... right. I would also like to know where the line between "creepy" and "hot" is drawn.

FlaxMilk

In my opinion, yes. Like someone mentioned, ignoring it and moving on would be neither flirtation or negative...but that would be more non-acknowledgement, I guess. I'd say to acknowledge it a woman (or guy if the case) could make stoic eye contact to acknowledge it's been noted, but then go to the move on/ignore phase.

I would feel rude making stoic eye contact without a friendly smile. A friendly smile and then moving on has always felt polite, unless the person is being rude and then ignoring works better.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I don't think I get more stares or looks than before, but I have had a couple situations recently in which I have been overtly hit on and I just laugh them off. I am perpetually awkward.

Eta: I find it hilarious that people are so bothered by people admiring them. Lol.... right. I would also like to know where the line between "creepy" and "hot" is drawn.

This has been covered:

Someone you find unattractive = creepy

Someone you find attractive = hot

:flowerforyou:

YesIAm17

I don't think I get more stares or looks than before, but I have had a couple situations recently in which I have been overtly hit on and I just laugh them off. I am perpetually awkward.

Eta: I find it hilarious that people are so bothered by people admiring them. Lol.... right. I would also like to know where the line between "creepy" and "hot" is drawn.

Haha if you find that line you need to tell me... I'm still looking... desperately :brokenheart: :grumble:

Charlottesometimes23

It's usually my husband or my mother who notices the stares, not me. I'm mostly clueless to attention from the opposite sex. When I do notice, it's usually someone who is old enough to be my father, or young enough to be my son. What's the deal with that?

msnucerity

I've been with my guy for a long time and we're getting married in 2014 (though we consider ourselves married) so my reaction depends on:

If it's someone casually looking and not in a "I'm imagining your clothes on my floor" kind of way- I'm pleasant but indifferent.

if the looking is creepy, gross or seemingly inappropriate in any way- I often sigh loudly, glare a little and roll my eyes to convey the message of, "You'd have a better shot with a meat grinder".

But it still makes a little happy inside knowing someone was checking me out

Mustang_Susie

It depends on who's looking. If I think they are attractive I will make eye contact, grin, and keep walking. If they are strange and creepy, I stare at the ground and try not to look at them.

So the formula is... Unattractive people = strange and creepy. Attractive people = hot. Even if they are doing the same things.

Yep...seems that's how the women, in general, see it.

I'm surprised a bit at how flirtatious and teasing most on here seem to be (from the thread replies), especially the married women.
I don't think most women realize how practically any response at all that's anything other than outright negative is an encouragement to most guys for them to continue the pursuit.

Okay, for the sake of discussion:
Should a married man be "checking out" any woman other than his wife?
How does a married man feel if another man "checks out" his wife?
I know men are created to be visual in nature, but I consider my husband a true gentleman when he controls his natural tendencies and only has eyes for me.
I think other men should be honorable enough to control themselves as well, married or not.
Call me old fashioned...

TheSlorax

I don't think I get more stares or looks than before, but I have had a couple situations recently in which I have been overtly hit on and I just laugh them off. I am perpetually awkward.

Eta: I find it hilarious that people are so bothered by people admiring them. Lol.... right. I would also like to know where the line between "creepy" and "hot" is drawn.

This has been covered:

Someone you find unattractive = creepy

Someone you find attractive = hot

:flowerforyou:

Right but where does creepy begin (4/10? Higher? Lower?) and where does hot begin (8/10?)... are there only two categories?

purple180

Glow and hold my head up high - which makes me look even better. Don't make eye contact. Flash my wedding ring.

It feels great. Love the head turns.

^^^This EXACTLY!^^^^ Congrats. :-)

lisalsd1

It depends on who's looking. If I think they are attractive I will make eye contact, grin, and keep walking. If they are strange and creepy, I stare at the ground and try not to look at them.

So the formula is... Unattractive people = strange and creepy. Attractive people = hot. Even if they are doing the same things.

Yep...seems that's how the women, in general, see it.

I'm surprised a bit at how flirtatious and teasing most on here seem to be (from the thread replies), especially the married women.
I don't think most women realize how practically any response at all that's anything other than outright negative is an encouragement to most guys for them to continue the pursuit.

Okay, for the sake of discussion:
Should a married man be "checking out" any woman other than his wife?
How does a married man feel if another man "checks out" his wife?
I know men are created to be visual in nature, but I consider my husband a true gentleman when he controls his natural tendencies and only has eyes for me.
I think other men should be honorable enough to control themselves as well, married or not.
Call me old fashioned...

I'll jump in on this one. My husband checks out other women...he always tells me. Then I laugh at him, b/c not to be mean, but the ladies are never as cute as me. I'm not threatened by it.

My husband also kind of likes that other men check me out. I always tell him...and we joke about it. It's not big deal. I told him that he has nothing to worry about, b/c I would "only trade up...not down or even lateral."

JamieBeth19

If he's a creeper, you gotta give him the face. This is the face -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRXa971Xw0

GenF32

Men have suddenly discovered the amazingly sensual creature I am & I have my own theme music.
It plays in my head where ever I go (don't judge me) :huh:

Boys steal glances at me & older (ahem) men of a certain age just outright stare. Apparently, I'm quite the head turner :smokin: No surprise to me of course as I was always a head turning raven haired beauty, it's just that my secret is out now & it's 'red carpet' all the way baby.

Yah, I hear ya. I get eye-f*cked so often on my way to work in the mornings I'm quite exhausted by the time I get there. :blushing:

I'm single, which makes it a little easier to stare boldly back but on a serious note I do agree it's disconcerting and I still can't 'quite' believe that these are actually appreciative looks. Guess we'll get used to it eventually!

W0rthless_Her0

I usually hit the emergency call button. Im claustrophobic and dont like it when complete strangers give me the eye. After that there's no telling whats about to happen next.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I don't think I get more stares or looks than before, but I have had a couple situations recently in which I have been overtly hit on and I just laugh them off. I am perpetually awkward.

Eta: I find it hilarious that people are so bothered by people admiring them. Lol.... right. I would also like to know where the line between "creepy" and "hot" is drawn.

This has been covered:

Someone you find unattractive = creepy

Someone you find attractive = hot

:flowerforyou:

Right but where does creepy begin (4/10? Higher? Lower?) and where does hot begin (8/10?)... are there only two categories?

Yep only two categories, because MFP.

I guess wherever you draw the line between attractive/unattractive? You got me. I'm just bored-- no NYE plans.

Laughter_Girl

I have a bubbly personality and never met a stranger in my life. Also, I have never lacked confidence. Therefore, if a man is giving me the "eye", I am giving it right back. No matter what size I am, I expect to be noticed. I always look guys and gals, if applicable, in the eye when I speak, and should one attempt to pick me up, I kindly let them know that I am happily married. Heck, being confident is how I snagged my husband in the first place.