Does anyone actually want help?

MoJoPain

No one thing works for everyone...people who don't understand that are in denial about something or just don't want to try hard enoguh to find what owrks for them.

I, on the other hand, truly appreciate advice, recommendations of books or workouts, nutrition etc...from everyone. It helpss with the trial and error tofind what will work for me.

SO, anyone who wants to friend me, take a look ay my food diary, etc...please do so. I know I may get differing opinions but I will take what applies to me and factor it into my life. I just started this week and havent done my grocery shopping (this damn snow)...so I am eating what I have in the house for now.

Again, PLEASE feel free to friend me and give advice...solicited or unsolicited...thank you.:happy:

likitisplit

I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.

It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?

I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.

I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.

My point is that hating the body you have is counter-productive. Why is being fat somebody's "fault"? Yes, it is a direct result of their choices, but so is the size of the cup that I'm currently drinking my coffee out of. Is that my "fault" or simply something that I could change, if I wanted to, by making different choices.

There are a whole lot of people on this website who are no longer fat and still hate their bodies.

I agree - there is a lot of information out there about the potential choices. A lot of it is confusing, contradictory and not very helpful. I had a fitness trainer at a gym tell me that the real way to "boost my metabolism" would be to drink a green shake every day. I tried to explain that nothing you eat can "boost your metabolism" (besides coffee, and that's a maximum of 40 calories a day) but my message got too involved and I had to stop.

likitisplit

I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person. Far too many young adults were fat long before they had a say in what and how much they ate. The choice was made for them by parents or care-givers. Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them. But to say that every obese person made themselves that way is simply not true.

^^^This.

Especially "Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them."

likitisplit

We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....

Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.

I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.

Check out the book (or app) You Are Your Own Gym.

Mr_Knight

It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person.

This is the kind of pointless word mincing that just distracts people. Who is to blame for yesterday's obesity is irrelevant - what matters is that obesity today and tomorrow is completely owned by the individual carrying the excess weight, and they have 100% control and power over it.

SunofaBeach14

I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person. Far too many young adults were fat long before they had a say in what and how much they ate. The choice was made for them by parents or care-givers. Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them. But to say that every obese person made themselves that way is simply not true.

^^^This.

Especially "Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them."

lol

I love these threads. Make yourself fit or don't. No one else cares.

Ok. A few people care, god love them. The rest of us have enough to worry about.

The whining is entertaining at times though.

Let's parse language rather than work . . ,

edarnell08

Ok - the key to anything is ...............You ready for it?????????

You sure???????????

Ok you ask for it...........................

Hard work!!! That is all.

bcattoes

It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person.

This is the kind of pointless word mincing that just distracts people. Who is to blame for yesterday's obesity is irrelevant - what matters is that obesity today and tomorrow is completely owned by the individual carrying the excess weight, and they have 100% control and power over it.

Um, yeah. Thanks for cutting off the part of my post that said that, then repeating it back. Most helpful.

Brandolin11

I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.

Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.

Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.

And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.

There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.

kgeyser

I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.

It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?

I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.

I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.

There are also ways to phrase things so that they don't sound accusatory - "fault" is generally associated with something bad happening. People who are overweight and want to change are well aware that their decisions got them there (barring medical reasons), so shaming language like that really does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. There is a line between enabling someone and kicking them when they are down.

I used the term because I was answering the post of the previous person, who used the term.

You completely missed what the previous person was trying to say. The previous poster was trying to touch on things like learned eating habits, backgrounds, availability of food, etc that lead to people being overweight that are not entirely conscience choices, unlike the idea of the obese person sitting around stuffing bon bons in their mouth because they want to.

QuietBloom

We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....

Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.

I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.

Oh. I sense an impending flounce.

Seriously, I didn't have a gym membership until only very recently. You can do resistance training without a gym. I also run a lot. So you could have gotten some really good advice, but instead you gave up almost instantly. Or rather, 'lost interest' in getting healthy.

Therealobi1

i think some people want help and others are just bored.( The same thing goes for some of the people who respond) You will quickly see from their further responses if they are genuine or not and then u take it from here. Some of you guys have forgotten how it was when u first joined and have lost patience.

Mr_Knight

I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.

Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.

Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.

And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.

There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.

I like this post.

ndj1979

We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....

Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.

all, I did was ask a question as to how this would lose someone..I do not see how this is attaching...back off captain save an MFP'r on a white horse..geez

ndj1979

We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....

Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.

I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.

< did not have gym membership until two years ago ..I still worked out at home, ran, and watched my calories...

what about the logging and weighing food? Is that not practical either?

Mr_Knight

The question is valid. The key point in the "prescription" was to log food accurately and eat at a deficit - everything else was ancillary. I don't understand how that could have "lost" someone or how it is "impractical"....?

QuietBloom

It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person.

This is the kind of pointless word mincing that just distracts people. Who is to blame for yesterday's obesity is irrelevant - what matters is that obesity today and tomorrow is completely owned by the individual carrying the excess weight, and they have 100% control and power over it.

Um, yeah. Thanks for cutting off the part of my post that said that, then repeating it back. Most helpful.

:laugh:

spookyjo

I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.

Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.

Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.

And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.

There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.

Sage words on both your posts on this thread

QuietBloom

I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.

Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.

Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.

And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.

There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.

Sage words on both your posts on this thread

Agree. I think this is a GREAT post!

SunofaBeach14

I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.

Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.

Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.

And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.

There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.

Sage words on both your posts on this thread

Agree. I think this is a GREAT post!

Someone has her **** together