Does anyone actually want help?
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since OP rage abandoned this thread, can I post cat gifs?0
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I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.
Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.
Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.
And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.
There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.
Sage words on both your posts on this thread
Agree. I think this is a GREAT post!
Someone has her **** together
Aw, shucks guys! Thanks! It's only because I AM one of those people who has the tendency to live in fantasy and not want to hear the truth. I GET it, you know? But thank God, thank heaven I FINALLY listened and aligned my values with my desires AND my actions....then everything changed and the weight fell off me. Almost 70 lbs! Yippee!0 -
Great post.
I am new to myfitnesspal..I see many on this forum make assumption of others.
You can offer suggestions freely, you choose to respond to post and or the forum or not. Don't place others in a bucket.
The best approach is not to come off as you're attacking others. Bad marketing or assistance tactic. Simply state your expertise and what you can do to help others; seriously seeking to lose weight, get fit, or build muscle/definition.
You can't say with certainty that newbies are not serious and or are only looking for sympathy. Show me your research which states that those new to forums or those on this forum have accomplish their goals.
I am looking for suggestions and eating healthy and to lose 9 pounds and tone my body.0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
all, I did was ask a question as to how this would lose someone..I do not see how this is attaching...back off captain save an MFP'r on a white horse..geez
I wasn't responding to you, I was responding to the person below you. I like your posts.0 -
< did not have gym membership until two years ago ..I still worked out at home, ran, and watched my calories...We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.
what about the logging and weighing food? Is that not practical either?
She's too new to separate the "move, measure, log" part from the "P90x, lift barbells, buy food scale." part.0 -
Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..
As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
Lately it seems like those who are coming here for help get knocked down with sarcastic/jibberish like answers and then the thread gets way off topic of what the original person asked. I like coming here to see if I can help or get help. Initially people don't want to hear the truth but the more they hear it the more they are going to have to accept it.
True enough, as annoying as it may seem to have people asking what we deem silly or whatnot...lots can be said for being tactful and kind. I do think if you can't be nice then don't answer. Just because its the internet and your not speaking face to face does not equal " toughen up its the internet" It does work both ways,...don't have to coddle the ones asking these types of questions, but the people answering them with sarcastic answers are no better.
I have been here less than a month. I hope I do not become jaded and condescending as my time here progresses.0 -
I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.
Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.
Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.
And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.
There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.
This post is fantastic, and you're right. We are listening. Makes me wish some of you guys had been adopting noobs back in June. Is it too late? ;-)0 -
Hey. N00b here.
Don't know about everyone else but I'm paying attention. I'm not posting questions because I'm looking for the answers first, not because I don't have questions. I find a lot of info in the Eat, Train, Progress group and I soak up every nugget that SideSteel and Sara churn out. I read Yoovie's blog. The whole thing. I read Bret Contreras' book, and then I read it again. I search the forums for questions I've got or just things I'm curious about and I look for the advice that's already been given and I've read some very helpful things. I add people when I come across folks who have walked the talk, but I'm not on a friending and posting spree because I'm also busy busting my *kitten* in the gym, tracking EVERY lift I do and comparing it to last week's, logging every scrap I put in my face, working my 9-5 and sleeping.
What you post does matter. I do appreciate it, I'm listening and it's helping. Don't give up on us n00bs just yet!0 -
Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..
As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I definitely want help but end up being more confused than before! I know most people mean well but the info is conflicting. I've received opposite information on the same thread such as Eat more. Eat less. Move more. Move less. Be more accurate with logging. Take a break from logging. Lift heavy. Do more cardio. Eat this. No, eat that. Eat whatever you want!
It's really, really difficult to understand who is genuinely trying to help vs. someone who is simply pushing an agenda. As such, the "truth" becomes very subjective.0 -
FYI...It was hypothetical plan/instance.0
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< did not have gym membership until two years ago ..I still worked out at home, ran, and watched my calories...We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.
what about the logging and weighing food? Is that not practical either?
She's too new to separate the "move, measure, log" part from the "P90x, lift barbells, buy food scale." part.
I think she means when things are really specific and not something she can do based her resources, she loses interest in the thread. I don't think she means she loses interest in exercise and logging. For example, if a question about eating turns into a discussion about low carb or Paleo, it "loses" her because it's outside of what is realistic for her.0 -
Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..
As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I definitely want help but end up being more confused than before! I know most people mean well but the info is conflicting. I've received opposite information on the same thread such as Eat more. Eat less. Move more. Move less. Be more accurate with logging. Take a break from logging. Lift heavy. Do more cardio. Eat this. No, eat that.
It's really, really difficult to understand who is genuinely trying to help vs. someone who is simply pushing an agenda. As such, the "truth" becomes very subjective.
The truth about losing weight is not subjective. Do what Sarah and SideSteel (and your bodymedia) tell you to. You have asked tons of people questions, so it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed with advice. If you have questions about BodyMedia go to their website. I'm sure they have forums.0 -
I get PMs from people semi-regularly telling me that I have no right to give advice because I am fat or that I am incredibly rude.
Sorry that I am smarter than you.
haha you wish....
As for the OP...yes and I was one of them.
I joined in June of 2013....read a few posts, and immediately joined ETP.
If people really want to lose weight they do what they need to which includes listening to people who quite obviously know what they are talking about.
That doesn't mean people who "claim" the following:
In the medical field
Personal Trainer
has studies to back it up (usually bogus blog posts)
Who then go onto say stupid crap.
I am one of those blunt people who gets called mean....and trust me it would happen irl.
But there are those who as others have said just want a pat on the back and be poo poo'd and told don't worry it's not your fault.
BS....you either want it or you don't....
PS ask my sister how blunt I get....long story short she was all about Dr oz, not lifting, raspberry ketones etc...she isn't anymore...her comment to me was...
"Hey I've been losing weight for a long time I know what I am doing..." kind of ticked off
My response...
"Yah but can you keep it off????? Nope otherwise you wouldn't be an expert at losing."
End of discussion.0 -
< did not have gym membership until two years ago ..I still worked out at home, ran, and watched my calories...We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.
what about the logging and weighing food? Is that not practical either?
She's too new to separate the "move, measure, log" part from the "P90x, lift barbells, buy food scale." part.
I think she means when things are really specific and not something she can do based her resources, she loses interest in the thread. I don't think she means she loses interest in exercise and logging. For example, if a question about eating turns into a discussion about low carb or Paleo, it "loses" her because it's outside of what is realistic for her.
They know exactly what I mean.... Just LOST interest in this thread...Headed to walk my dog.0 -
Why do you care what other people want from this site? Each of us comes here for different reasons. I am good with all of them! 0
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Hey. N00b here.
Don't know about everyone else but I'm paying attention. I'm not posting questions because I'm looking for the answers first, not because I don't have questions. I find a lot of info in the Eat, Train, Progress group and I soak up every nugget that SideSteel and Sara churn out. I read Yoovie's blog. The whole thing. I read Bret Contreras' book, and then I read it again. I search the forums for questions I've got or just things I'm curious about and I look for the advice that's already been given and I've read some very helpful things. I add people when I come across folks who have walked the talk, but I'm not on a friending and posting spree because I'm also busy busting my *kitten* in the gym, tracking EVERY lift I do and comparing it to last week's, logging every scrap I put in my face, working my 9-5 and sleeping.
What you post does matter. I do appreciate it, I'm listening and it's helping. Don't give up on us n00bs just yet!
If you're applying the advice from ETP and Yoovie, you've got this nailed.0 -
If the question is something like, "Does everything I eat count?" or "Is standing exercise?" or "Does 'water' mean water?" I'd agree with you. But there are times when people come forward with advice derived from careful observation of their own patterns -- things which may not have been covered in a study -- and they are excoriated.0
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If the question is something like, "Does everything I eat count?" or "Is standing exercise?" or "Does 'water' mean water?" I'd agree with you. But there are times when people come forward with advice derived from careful observation of their own patterns -- things which may not have been covered in a study -- and they are excoriated.
Muscle is heavier than fat.
Right?0 -
Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..
As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
I definitely want help but end up being more confused than before! I know most people mean well but the info is conflicting. I've received opposite information on the same thread such as Eat more. Eat less. Move more. Move less. Be more accurate with logging. Take a break from logging. Lift heavy. Do more cardio. Eat this. No, eat that.
It's really, really difficult to understand who is genuinely trying to help vs. someone who is simply pushing an agenda. As such, the "truth" becomes very subjective.
The truth about losing weight is not subjective. Do what Sarah and SideSteel (and your bodymedia) tell you to. You have asked tons of people questions, so it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed with advice. If you have questions about BodyMedia go to their website. I'm sure they have forums.
S and SS haven't yet said anything. I'm sure they will as soon as they make the time. Someone just told me there is a BM group here so that's nice.
Most people mean well. I know I am appreciative of the advice albeit confused. Just takes some time to see how the application works out.0 -
If the question is something like, "Does everything I eat count?" or "Is standing exercise?" or "Does 'water' mean water?" I'd agree with you. But there are times when people come forward with advice derived from careful observation of their own patterns -- things which may not have been covered in a study -- and they are excoriated.
Muscle is heavier than fat.
Right?
more like Bcctoes dying because her muscles are going to atrophy because she doesn't lift progressively.0
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