Why did you dump the person above you?
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the numbers only mfp handle...who does that???0
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Has Johnny Manziel's face tattooed on his chest0
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He went on a world double dutch tour and left me home alone
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Hair turned green.0
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Too much Rhianna when I wanted more Beyonce0
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Was jealous of her dog0
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He took a pic with that girl!!0
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I saw her with him0
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Intimidated by...0
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beautiful but not a guy0
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Because she wasn't a guy.0
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She had better skin than me0
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Her lipstick kept getting me into trouble0
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Cheated on me with a dog0
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Kept her hand over her face at the most inappropriate times0
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Kept resisting me0
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I couldn't get into her pants0
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I couldn't get over my phone envy0
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You spent too much time at the gym0
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Because she just hit too close to homeYou spent too much time at the gym
I might have heard that one before0 -
Because he cut up the shirt I gave him for Christmas.0
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She slept with my brother0
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Ignored me0
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Wanted to take the dogs to bed and I'm allergic0
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She wouldn't let my retriever sleep in the bed, so the Retriever stayed and she had to go0
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He refused to put a shirt on!0
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stole my bacon - fed it to our unicorn0
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Flexed all the time, even caught him directing traffic one time smh lol0
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Looked at me funny, told me I looked fat in my birthday suit!!!
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Didn't let me get in my birthday suit at the same time as her.0
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