Why did you dump the person above you?

gmhaggie06

the numbers only mfp handle...who does that???

1PatientBear

Has Johnny Manziel's face tattooed on his chest

njungers

He went on a world double dutch tour and left me home alone

Sinisterly

Hair turned green.

bearkisses

Too much Rhianna when I wanted more Beyonce

tedrickp

Was jealous of her dog

XxQueenMxX

He took a pic with that girl!!

GREEKSTATUE

I saw her with him

Pinkee33

Intimidated by...

jessicalynne25

beautiful but not a guy

WhisperAnne

Because she wasn't a guy.

AshleyM71

She had better skin than me

bearkisses

Her lipstick kept getting me into trouble

ArtsyGarbage

Cheated on me with a dog

resistance_freak

Kept her hand over her face at the most inappropriate times

sassypants0923

Kept resisting me

healthybodyhealthylife

I couldn't get into her pants

resistance_freak

I couldn't get over my phone envy

healthybodyhealthylife

You spent too much time at the gym

resistance_freak

You spent too much time at the gym

Because she just hit too close to home
I might have heard that one before

Sarahs2576

Because he cut up the shirt I gave him for Christmas.

Groovyca2022

She slept with my brother

COTrainer

Ignored me

Cali_Chica

Wanted to take the dogs to bed and I'm allergic

the_dude00

She wouldn't let my retriever sleep in the bed, so the Retriever stayed and she had to go

Sinisterly

He refused to put a shirt on!

Docmahi

stole my bacon - fed it to our unicorn

Lovely_77

Flexed all the time, even caught him directing traffic one time smh lol

Sinisterly

Looked at me funny, told me I looked fat in my birthday suit!!!

funforsports

Didn't let me get in my birthday suit at the same time as her.