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The official nightshift thread....
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sufferlandrian wrote: »You know you don't have to carry a gun to kill or stop someone. Self Defense classes are great alternatives to carrying a weapon and your enemy can't turn it on you or take it away from you. Having said that, I pity the person who threatens my family in my own home. I'll bury them head deep and go get the fire ants myself, just like my ancestors would have done.
I am DEATHLY allergic to fire ants.... I can't even drunkenly roll in the grass anymore. I look at grassy areas and only think of the potential for DEATH...0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »sufferlandrian wrote: »You know you don't have to carry a gun to kill or stop someone. Self Defense classes are great alternatives to carrying a weapon and your enemy can't turn it on you or take it away from you. Having said that, I pity the person who threatens my family in my own home. I'll bury them head deep and go get the fire ants myself, just like my ancestors would have done.
I am DEATHLY allergic to fire ants.... I can't even drunkenly roll in the grass anymore. I look at grassy areas and only think of the potential for DEATH...
Was that one of the Million ways to die in the west?
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Frankie_Felinius wrote: »Well, I'm so glad we could all be adult about this! I was half expecting (and hoping for the opposite) some really *kitten* responses...not necessarily from the regulars...but...lurkers.
I don't really think I'd ever actually carry a gun. I know me. I'm a panicker (sp?) and I could think of a MILLION wrong things I'd do. It just hit me hard that I even considered it...not that I haven't before but this particular situation...like I said...you hear about the same situation all the time. TBH...I'm a bipolar...I've struggled with depression since 19...the thought of potentially losing my life...if I didn't have a kid...isn't that scary. I'm always in a rush to get everything over with...part of me just wants everything (life) to hurry up and be done. This life has exhausted me already and I'm only 33. I'm not suicidal, so don't think that...and if I saw a bus coming at me while crossing the street, I'd surely jump out of the way...but most of my life...I've wished I wasn't here. It is a very odd feeling...a very stuck feeling. I digress. Where I was going with that is now that I HAVE a child that I need to protect...the thought of being in a situation where having a gun could prevent violence to my child or take me from her...but not having one and one of us ends up hurt or dead or kidnapped...I couldn't live with myself. Would I be effed mentally (more than I already am) if I killed someone? Sure. I would be. So where does that leave me? Ugh. What a pickle.
@lilaclovebird I'd agree that some peoples' mind is their greatest weapon...but not me. (I'm not saying a weapon weapon is the greatest either). I panic. I'm also stuck between a weird place of "no will to live" and "can't leave that tater tot momless". My fiance is the kind of person that would fight until every ounce of anything was gone if his life was in danger...parent or not. I just don't have that in me. I cross the Mississippi at least twice a day and sometimes you get stuck on bridges. While stuck on a bridge over frigid water, I thought about what would happen if it collapsed. Most everyone would start to swim to shore once their car hit the water. I swear, if I wasn't a parent...you'd find me hitting the seat lever and laying back...trying to relax into the iciness. Trying to save myself seems like too much work. Or I kid that if I had to breathe on purpose...like if it wasn't involuntary and I had to try...I'd never make it...I'd just give up. But again...now that I'm a parent...I have this side of me that obviously wants to survive for her...but I still suck at survival...which isn't good for anyone.
(I apologize in advance for the lenghty/potentially depressing post.)
So not depressing. Made me laugh because it reminds me of my mom.
I'm not all that willing to fight for myself, but my body is willing to fight for itself. So that's something I guess.
However, I am more than willing to fight for the life of others and I would put myself in harms way if it meant someone else got to live or get away unscathed. Even if I don't actually KNOW them.0 -
@sufferlandrian I suppose self-defense classes couldn't hurt at least for a bit of peace of mind.
But my mind instantly goes to situations where self-defense isn't gonna do shizz. Like some nut with a gun in Wal-Mart blasting away. I swear, before becoming a parent...this stuff didn't affect me so deeply. I DO remember being in college, early 2000s when school shootings were heavy...being in a basement level class with one door, no windows...we all heard a loud "boom" from the hallway...and we all went silent and froze. It turned out to be a table that was propped up against a wall fell over in the hallway but man...that was scary. I also remember when choosing my seat in college, I always considered where a gunman would least likely shoot when entereing a classroom. I still think about that stuff when choosing a theater seat. When I attend a show with hundreds of people, while waiting for the curtain, I plan my escape if a fire or a brawl breaks out. I'm definitely always aware of my surroundings and the goings on around me...I'm not blind to danger...if anything, the opposite. Maybe that is the problem...being aware that danger can happen to anyone and anytime...if I was oblivious, I wouldn't worry, right?
@lilaclovebird My breakfast girl would have been better off with you then. I like the chick, but my @$$ got on the phone with 911 and hid in the back. All I could think about was my tater tot...she was going to have to hope the police arrived quick if shizz got hairy 'cause I wasn't risking MY safety...0 -
I think Sesame Street is missing Big Bird. I just took it out of a dogs stomach.0
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Hard plastic or stuffed? I bet stuffed.
When Nash, our dog, was a pup we bought him a fancy bed and put it in his crate. We used to keep him crated during the day at first to keep him out of trouble/acclimate to being in a crate when we needed him to be in one. A few weeks later, came home to what looked like a foam pit in his crate. Bought him another, thinking it was a fluke. Did it again. He had to tough it out with blankets for awhile. Evenutally we put my kiddo's old crib mattress in and that worked. Soooo, no more foam beds to chew but every once in awhile...he gets a hair up his butt to chew up one of Elka's toys...always a stuffed one. He has only chewed up, maybe 3 or 4 toys over the years...always stuffed. His last victim was Grumpy Cat...just the face though. I had to sew his face back together...he looks like a Tim Burton character now. We really want to get him another bed because when all three of us are home, there is no space on the couch for him. Normally he would just go lay on one our beds but until we get his funk under control, he can't stank up our sheets with his Frito Bandito self. So he'll just pace around the living room instead of lying down on the floor (we have wood floors). The dog is too good to lay on the floor. Unless there is a yoga mat lying out (my kid likes to roll one out when she plays), he will lay on that. It is 3 mm thick and he will only lay on the floor if it is buffered by at least that 3 mm. So we really want to buy him another bed to keep in the living room but we don't trust him...foam or stuffing...I guess we could put the crib mattress out there with a sheet on it...we don't use the crate anymore and I'm pretty sure that mattess is still down in the basement (or outgrown child gear zone, as it should be called...hang on to it...we might have another one...no we aren't...time to get RID of it all and reclaim that extra 1000 sq ft!)0 -
@Frankie_Felinius Tough love girlfriend. Stop it. Just stop worrying. Be aware, yes. But also realize that the chances of you being the victim of a violent crime perpetrated by a stranger, even a mass shooting, is SO small it isn't worth the thoughts you are pouring over.
From The Gift of Fear:
--"Intuition is always right in at least two important ways: 1.) It is always in response to something. 2.) It always has your best interest at heart. Unlike worry, it will not waste your time."
I HIGHLY recommend you read this book. My Sgt. Sexy Pants recommended it when I told him some of my worries and fears. Especially those regarding some really horrible past experiences.
"To most of us, human violence seems unpredictable. But in The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker explains the motivation of violent and abusive people, and he offers wise advice on how to eliminate this risk from our lives.
The Gift of Fear is a book about the entire range of violence: stalkers, men who hurt women, disgruntled employees, child abuse, and more... It has become the bible of self-protection from domestic violence, stalking, date rape, physical assault, and workplace mayhem."
It may not ease your fears or your worry(it did help mine a little) but it will give you a bit more insight into how we(yes, murderers and rapists are human too) do what we do to harm others.
It will also inform you of those little things that your mind ALREADY sees and recognizes as threatening behaviors. Things that has had @jennifer_417 already calling the cops twice and handling difficult situations before they got worse at her job that she's only been at for 2 months.
ETA: Your life is important to more people than just your tater-tot(which I am now craving...the food, not your child).0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »@Frankie_Felinius Tough love girlfriend. Stop it. Just stop worrying.
Sorry. Not how crippling, life-destroying anxiety works. Trust me, if I could stop for even ONE minute, I would. I can't even stop in my sleep. I sleep with all my muscles clenched and my brain still going so hard that it fights sleeping pills and I wake up out of pure anxiety. I wake up in more pain and more physically exhausted than when I go to sleep because at least in my waking hours I can ATTEMPT to control it. I worry about one million different things every minute, not even waking minute, but every minute of every day. Believe me...it isn't just me being a worrywart kind of person...it is destructive mental illness that worries FOR me...it is much, much stronger than a suggestion to "stop worrying". My worry isn't a voluntary kind of worry. It is a powerful, all-encompassing hurricane amidst a tornado during a flood kind of worry that consumes my brain. That is like me telling someone to stop their heart from beating. It is impossible .
And I wonder why life exhausts me...0 -
Frankie_Felinius wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »@Frankie_Felinius Tough love girlfriend. Stop it. Just stop worrying.
Sorry. Not how crippling, life-destroying anxiety works. Trust me, if I could stop for even ONE minute, I would. I can't even stop in my sleep. I sleep with all my muscles clenched and my brain still going so hard that it fights sleeping pills and I wake up out of pure anxiety. I wake up in more pain and more physically exhausted than when I go to sleep because at least in my waking hours I can ATTEMPT to control it. I worry about one million different things every minute, not even waking minute, but every minute of every day. Believe me...it isn't just me being a worrywart kind of person...it is destructive mental illness that worries FOR me...it is much, much stronger than a suggestion to "stop worrying". My worry isn't a voluntary kind of worry. It is a powerful, all-encompassing hurricane amidst a tornado during a flood kind of worry that consumes my brain. That is like me telling someone to stop their heart from beating. It is impossible .
And I wonder why life exhausts me...
NOW I get it. I apologize.
You're like my sister. She actually gets disability and doesn't leave the confines of her apartment unless she can stamp the anxiety down enough to do so. Even at that point, she could have a serious panic attack at any moment being outside of her comfort zone.
Outside of her comfort zone includes: Going to a new store/restaurant, cooking a new recipe, her fiance buying the wrong brand of toilet paper, having to take a new diabetes medication, meeting a new nurse who works for her doctor. She NEVER feels like she gets enough sleep and relishes in the mornings when she can't remember her dreams because the dreams she DOES have leave her feeling worried/anxious/scared.
In your case, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU READ THAT BOOK!
It will make your anxiety worse. Which, I am assuming, you do NOT want.
ETA: The things I listed about my sister have ACTUALLY caused her to have panic attacks. I am not mocking the condition in any way.0 -
Soooo....I'm assuming that listening to re-runs of Forensic Files as I fall asleep isn't a great idea then. But oddly enough, I drift off to sleep much faster that way than left to my mind's own devices...
But seriously...yup. I've been apartment bound before...couldn't work, only went out to grocery shop and that was excruciating. I don't have that issue anymore but I am anxious for everything I do...like her. Even fun things that I look forward to, are anxiety inducing. When you suffer like I/your sister do...EVERYTHING is highly anticipated...and not in a good way. Just driving to work or to a restaurant...anticipating. Waiting for my shift to be over...anticipating. Watching tv...anticipating. Going to bed...anticipating. (I feel her on the dreamless sleep. I would love dreamless sleep. I would love to go to bed and not anticipate the dreams I'll have, or being woken up prematurely, or the forehead lines I'll have from scrunching my face so hard in my sleep or the the pain I'll have in my jaw and shoulders upon rising. When you don't even look forward to SLEEP...the ONE respite a person should have left...there are no words to describe the fatigue of the mind that never rests...)
Then tack on debilitating depression. Depression that makes you feel like you are just lazy...just selfish. I have all this "energy" inside my mind but my body is exhausted. Wanting so badly to not be stagnant but feeling like you can't do anything but. Stuck. I'm just always "stuck". It is perpetual hurry up and wait...and never getting anywhere...treading water like mad but still going under...just veeeerrrrry slowly...0 -
Frankie_Felinius wrote: »When you don't even look forward to SLEEP...the ONE respite a person should have left...there are no words to describe the fatigue of the mind that never rests.
This needs to be a quote somewhere.
I've taken to watching the LOTR trilogy to fall asleep. It works. But my computer runs hot, which makes my room hot, which causes me to wake up SUPER early and I end up with days like today where I am sitting in the office doing nothing so I can put all my focus into staying awake for the meeting in the morning and then I have to take my dad grocery shopping....
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Wow, I missed a lot of action in here.
I'll agree with @sufferlandrian about the self defense, and the logic is pretty solid. It can't be used against you if caught off guard or whatever.
@Frankie_Felinius it's unfortunate and scary to think of life that way, it's a scary thing.0 -
Wow, I missed a lot of action in here.
I'll agree with @sufferlandrian about the self defense, and the logic is pretty solid. It can't be used against you if caught off guard or whatever.
@Frankie_Felinius it's unfortunate and scary to think of life that way, it's a scary thing.
My biggest issue with self defense classes is that it can fill you with false self confidence.
To truly be able to use anything in a real life situation, it would have to be ingrained in you to automatically respond that way. To the point where if someone grabs you, you have to make the conscious effort to NOT harm them.
My ex-bro-in-law teaches Aikido and it is considered by many 'ideal for female self defense.'
Aikido techniques are usually a defense against an attack, so students must learn to deliver various types of attacks to be able to practice aikido with a partner. Although attacks are not studied as thoroughly as in striking-based arts, sincere attacks (a strong strike or an immobilizing grab) are needed to study correct and effective application of technique
It maintains a martial arts philosophy of extending love and compassion especially to those who seek to harm others. Aikido demonstrates this philosophy in its emphasis on mastering martial arts so that one may receive an attack and harmlessly redirect it. In an ideal resolution, not only is the receiver unharmed, but so is the attacker.
Aikido training is mental as well as physical, emphasizing the ability to relax the mind and body even under the stress of dangerous situations. This is necessary to enable the practitioner to perform the bold enter-and-blend movements that underlie aikido techniques, wherein an attack is met with confidence and directness. Morihei Ueshiba once remarked that one "must be willing to receive 99% of an opponent's attack and stare death in the face" in order to execute techniques without hesitation. As a martial art concerned not only with fighting proficiency but with the betterment of daily life, this mental aspect is of key importance to aikido practitioners.
That last bit is why I think my ex-bro-in-law AND his fellow instructors are so dang cheerful all the time. Focusing on the betterment of daily life...
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DiddleOnTheRun wrote: »Could a night lab tech join your group, I I I have lime green co-flex bandages....and I LOVE LOVE pink pens!!!
Lab tech here, too But I don't have cool things. We're not allowed to use colored pens in blood bank so we're afraid to keep them around lol 0 -
Ok. Vacation starts in just over an hour! I'll be off for TEN whole days!! Yay! Headed to the amusement park tomorrow, water park the next and Friday will be brewpubs & Lush! Pooch is going to gramma's and hopefully the cats won't gorge themselves the first day on the gigantore bowls of food we'll be leaving for them. (They don't want to go to gramma's.) I have a crap ton of stuff to do today since I've been putting it all off...maybe some brinner and some coffee and I'll get some motivation...0
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Frankie_Felinius wrote: »Ok. Vacation starts in just over an hour! I'll be off for TEN whole days!! Yay! Headed to the amusement park tomorrow, water park the next and Friday will be brewpubs & Lush! Pooch is going to gramma's and hopefully the cats won't gorge themselves the first day on the gigantore bowls of food we'll be leaving for them. (They don't want to go to gramma's.) I have a crap ton of stuff to do today since I've been putting it all off...maybe some brinner and some coffee and I'll get some motivation...
Lucky! I'm on for 13 days straight!0 -
By the way, it was a real bird that the dog caught and ate. He was about pheasant sized.0
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Have fun on vacation. Mine starts in about a week!!
I've struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life. I'm thankfully able to function pretty normally (if there is such a thing lol) but I'm like a duck; cool and calm on the surface, but underneath the water, I'm moving a million miles an hour. My dreams are stressful. I've already been thru one heavy duty mouth guard made by a dentist and I'm working on #2. My cuticles almost always look like a war zone and I'm usually chewing on one and picking another. I'm right there with you guys.0 -
Oh man a vacation sounds awesome. Hope you guys have a great time!Frankie_Felinius wrote: »Ok. Vacation starts in just over an hour! I'll be off for TEN whole days!! Yay! Headed to the amusement park tomorrow, water park the next and Friday will be brewpubs & Lush! Pooch is going to gramma's and hopefully the cats won't gorge themselves the first day on the gigantore bowls of food we'll be leaving for them. (They don't want to go to gramma's.) I have a crap ton of stuff to do today since I've been putting it all off...maybe some brinner and some coffee and I'll get some motivation...
Yikes! I bet that made for a messy surgery!sufferlandrian wrote: »By the way, it was a real bird that the dog caught and ate. He was about pheasant sized.
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bethanie0825 wrote: »Have fun on vacation. Mine starts in about a week!!
I've struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life. I'm thankfully able to function pretty normally (if there is such a thing lol) but I'm like a duck; cool and calm on the surface, but underneath the water, I'm moving a million miles an hour. My dreams are stressful. I've already been thru one heavy duty mouth guard made by a dentist and I'm working on #2. My cuticles almost always look like a war zone and I'm usually chewing on one and picking another. I'm right there with you guys.
Let me not show you photos of my teeth or fingers!
What makes it worse is every evening I wake up teeth and mouth hurting even with a mouth guard, and I remember how co-workers used to tell me I had beautiful teeth.
And how I envy those of you with summer vacations... 15 year on the job and I can't even get close.0 -
I'm using all the time I've saved so far lol. I started at a new agency in November. I'll have less than 2 hours left by time I get back. But it's worth it. I'm sorry you can't get some vacation time in the summer.
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Vacation? What is that? I don't take vacation. Two days off in a row is enough to drive me batty.
Maybe some day I will take a vacation and go somewhere out of town or take a road trip.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »Frankie_Felinius wrote: »Ok. Vacation starts in just over an hour! I'll be off for TEN whole days!! Yay! Headed to the amusement park tomorrow, water park the next and Friday will be brewpubs & Lush! Pooch is going to gramma's and hopefully the cats won't gorge themselves the first day on the gigantore bowls of food we'll be leaving for them. (They don't want to go to gramma's.) I have a crap ton of stuff to do today since I've been putting it all off...maybe some brinner and some coffee and I'll get some motivation...
Lucky! I'm on for 13 days straight!
Geez, and my coworkers think it sucks I do 8 in a row!0 -
WildcatMom82 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Frankie_Felinius wrote: »Ok. Vacation starts in just over an hour! I'll be off for TEN whole days!! Yay! Headed to the amusement park tomorrow, water park the next and Friday will be brewpubs & Lush! Pooch is going to gramma's and hopefully the cats won't gorge themselves the first day on the gigantore bowls of food we'll be leaving for them. (They don't want to go to gramma's.) I have a crap ton of stuff to do today since I've been putting it all off...maybe some brinner and some coffee and I'll get some motivation...
Lucky! I'm on for 13 days straight!
Geez, and my coworkers think it sucks I do 8 in a row!
Well we only have three night shifters and one is out due to back surgery and we have another person out for vacation AND we still haven't hired our new relief person since the last one quit.0 -
I KNOW ya'll can understand my logic in this:
I made it through our entire staff meeting without eating a single doughnut. So, I rewarded myself with a doughnut.0 -
I totally understand about the pensWildcatMom82 wrote: »DiddleOnTheRun wrote: »Could a night lab tech join your group, I I I have lime green co-flex bandages....and I LOVE LOVE pink pens!!!
Lab tech here, too But I don't have cool things. We're not allowed to use colored pens in blood bank so we're afraid to keep them around lol
. We are allowed only black or blue for official paperwork. but in my previous job I used a wide variety of colors nearly daily.
I cover all of the departments in our lab, including phlebotomy part of the night, being the only tech in the lab during most of my 10 hr shift. I get to do most of the QC and Daily Maintenance on the machines. Which takes most of my night even without patients to process.
So "NEVER" use red in bloodbank I was told. So I just use mostly the black pens provided by the lab or co workers.
I do QC in bloodbank nightly also. I enjoy bloodbank.
Sorry for rambling on....getting kinda sleepy here.
Catching up on a few pages....
I'm kinda quiet normally....thanks everyone for sharing parts of your reality.
Anxiety felt as starting to hit send...
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Frankie_Felinius wrote: »Ok. Vacation starts in just over an hour! I'll be off for TEN whole days!! Yay! Headed to the amusement park tomorrow, water park the next and Friday will be brewpubs & Lush! Pooch is going to gramma's and hopefully the cats won't gorge themselves the first day on the gigantore bowls of food we'll be leaving for them. (They don't want to go to gramma's.) I have a crap ton of stuff to do today since I've been putting it all off...maybe some brinner and some coffee and I'll get some motivation...
Hope you can relax just a bit and have a great vacation sounds like lots of fun to be had!
Mine is coming up soon...going back to a Haiti.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »I KNOW ya'll can understand my logic in this:
I made it through our entire staff meeting without eating a single doughnut. So, I rewarded myself with a doughnut.
I TOTALLY GET THIS ONE
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@lilaclovebird -love the new profile pic!0
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lilaclovebird wrote: »I KNOW ya'll can understand my logic in this:
I made it through our entire staff meeting without eating a single doughnut. So, I rewarded myself with a doughnut.
Yes!!! Love your new profile picture too!
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