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The official nightshift thread....
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sufferlandrian wrote: »He's been doing this job for years. He was well aware of the recommendation not to have relationships with subordinates. That is not a new concept. There have been more people fired for that problem in the last 20 years than could be employed at two Walmarts. Yes, that guidance has been around since before I joined the military in 1984. It's called Fraternizing and in government and larger businesses, the policy has been around for decades. If he was willing to risk his job when you started seeing each other, why not now? I'm sorry that his fear of losing his job didn't kick in sooner or that he couldn't find a better way to let you know what was on his mind.
He wasn't a supervisor before. He just got the promotion to sergeant in November and the ceremony was in July. He didn't even take the supervisor class thing until last week and never understood anything to be a problem in Houston because he didn't spend much time with his supervisors there.
Here at the detachment, each other is all we really have because we have all these vets and animal techs and sciency people that want almost NOTHING to do with the police department. Where he was, he had nurses, doctors, patients, administrators, lab techs, pharmacy techs, and drivers to associate with. All people outside his department. As a regular commissioned officer it would have been 'frowned upon' but no real problem as he would not be my direct supervisor. As a sergeant, he's my direct supervisor and that's where the problem is.0 -
Frankie_Felinius wrote: »And thanks for the update...of COURSE we're interested!
And I definitely think you came out on the winning end at this point. Maybe your paths will cross down the road...after he has retired or you aren't his subordinate. Or maybe it won't...
I can imagine what he felt like in that class though! I bet he felt like they were talking to HIM...that guilt ya know...he was probably flushed and sweaty...I would be! Sheesh...
He did. He told me he did. He said the class was basically all about how to keep himself, the department, and MD Anderson from getting sued and how relationships ending badly was big proponent of things like this or friendships feeling violated or favoritism being shown.
He said he kept having to ask himself if he was being too hard on me during my evaluation because he's seen the effort I put into things outside of work and has higher expectations. Then when the lieutenant had him correct a portion of my evaluation and raise my score higher, he almost redid the whole thing.
ETA: To be honest I think he is shocked I took it so well and was so calm during our talk. I'm dealing with TOM right now so even I'M a little surprised. Not one tear was shed until right before I fell asleep thinking to myself about how it wasn't fair. When I woke up, I realized life isn't fair. So I journaled it, weighed in, did some strength training, and moved on.0 -
It was messing with shizz a little...if there were no romantic ties...he never would have had to question himself.
It isn't an "I told ya so" kind of thing...you're a smart girl...I know you are aware of it too. How did HE NOT see how it could be an issue??? Oh yeah, the whole "not seeing things from anyone else's perspective" thing!0 -
I swear schools are a breeding ground for diseases that the government uses for biological warfare. As soon as one of the flu outbreaks can't be controlled, we'll see it being studied in a lab somewhere in USAMARAC Maryland.0
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sufferlandrian wrote: »I swear schools are a breeding ground for diseases that the government uses for biological warfare. As soon as one of the flu outbreaks can't be controlled, we'll see it being studied in a lab somewhere in USAMARAC Maryland.
A section of Lab 2 is now cordoned off as off limits bio hazard area right now. My commissioned officer on duty asked me why and I said 'I don't know and they don't pay me enough to find out!'
We have normal bio hazard areas but nothing above level 2 generally. This room now comes with a suit and everything.0 -
@lilaclovebird -of course we're interested, what do you think ww have lives or something? Anyway, I sort of get his reasoning, but I suspect one day he will come to understand that he could've made it work, and regret his decision. You, on th he other hand, will move on to bigger and better. I know it still hurts, but that will get better, too.0
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jennifer_417 wrote: »@lilaclovebird -of course we're interested, what do you think ww have lives or something? Anyway, I sort of get his reasoning, but I suspect one day he will come to understand that he could've made it work, and regret his decision. You, on th he other hand, will move on to bigger and better. I know it still hurts, but that will get better, too.
I cleaned his whole house, did his laundry, and everything...I only do that for people I am REALLY fond of.
I clean my friend Alycia's kitchen. But ONLY the kitchen...0 -
I just googled if I could wear makeup to the colonoscopy...the answer is no. It also answered, yes, you are too effin' vain...kiiiiding. But clearly I am. I knew I'd have to take my polish off (which is super cool, btw...it is a green/orange color shift...reminds me of a beetle!) but I waaaannnna wear makeup...
I have to stop eating at 330 pm today...until TOMORROW afternoon. And today is one of my looooong days...the ones where I eat an extra meal I'm up so long. I'll be hittin' the bouillion and Jello HARD...0 -
Frankie_Felinius wrote: »I just googled if I could wear makeup to the colonoscopy...the answer is no. It also answered, yes, you are too effin' vain...kiiiiding. But clearly I am. I knew I'd have to take my polish off (which is super cool, btw...it is a green/orange color shift...reminds me of a beetle!) but I waaaannnna wear makeup...
I have to stop eating at 330 pm today...until TOMORROW afternoon. And today is one of my looooong days...the ones where I eat an extra meal I'm up so long. I'll be hittin' the bouillion and Jello HARD...
<
my face about this WHOLE thing....0 -
@lilaclovebird I agree with @sufferlandrian it's kinda well known but some agencies don't care as long as you keep the romantic stuff outside of work. I too think he's gonna realize he screwed up. But I'm glad you got his reasoning behind it. Def helps move forward.
@Frankie_Felinius sucksville. I had one several years ago and slept thru the whole thing. Woke up just enough to leave. Then slept. I don't remember anything about it. I hope your is as not memorable!! And I don't Instagram either but have been thinking about it. My great friend raves about it all the time. 0 -
See, things always get weird with the in workplace relationships, sorry to say.
re: instagram, I do no social media at all. I loathe Facebook most of all. Surprising I even know what they are at all.
@frankie_felinius, that really sucks, I could never do that on my long day.0 -
I don't instagram either. I barely have time for work, biking and this. Facebook is right out. There is no way I have time to read all the posts about somebody else going to a restaurant or their kids elementary school graduation.0
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I probably spend way too much time on social media, but I spend less time on FB than any of them. It seems to have devolved into people posting memes and taking political potshots at one another, not that many people seem to post much about their actual lives anymore.0
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jennifer_417 wrote: »I probably spend way too much time on social media, but I spend less time on FB than any of them. It seems to have devolved into people posting memes and taking political potshots at one another, not that many people seem to post much about their actual lives anymore.
oh, man. not me. i'm probably the worst. so bad, in fact, that on occasion, i have awkward conversations with people who i barely recognize who have crazily in-depth conversations with me about stuff that probably shouldn't be public knowledge.
an artist that i tour with on occasion had a gig at the Philadelphia Folk Festival this summer, and invited me to accompany him...since I lived there for so long, it was a pretty familiar stop for me. i bumped into a woman in the hospitality tent backstage who was a friend of a friend and we had a ten minute conversation where she told me that she thought I handled the breakup of my marriage beautifully, and went on to elaborate, therapist-style...she apparently had been following the whole thing via my Facebook page - and other than a few perfunctory mentions, I was totally under the impression that I hadn't made any more of a deal about it than some people make of their pets or Donald Trump.
i was friendly and accomodating through the whole conversation, but when she walked away, i just kinda stood there dumbfounded for a minute or two - i don't know that i mentioned my ex more than five or six times all summer long, and one or two of them was when i went to visit them not long after they moved out...all amicable mentions, no venom or vengeful stuff at all. still, though - it was a bit of an eye opener.
when i said i was the king of oversharing, i wasn't joking.
(i'm not hard to find on FB, either...if anyone wants to stop over, i'm all about that.)0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »
ETA: To be honest I think he is shocked I took it so well and was so calm during our talk. I'm dealing with TOM right now so even I'M a little surprised. Not one tear was shed until right before I fell asleep thinking to myself about how it wasn't fair. When I woke up, I realized life isn't fair. So I journaled it, weighed in, did some strength training, and moved on.
man...this stuff is SO hard to navigate.
i'm sure this has crossed your mind already, and you've probably already discussed it, but...
...is there any means by which either one of you could have been reassigned in some manner that would've taken you out of his chain of command?
my erstwhile ex actually got a job where she lives now because the prior librarian had become romantically involved with the vice-principal, and they let her transfer to another open position...so she actually got her new job because of an opening created because of this very kind of thing.
just thinking (typing) out loud. you really ARE handling remarkably well.0 -
She works in a pretty limited field so changing positions would probably involve relocation but I like your thinking.
I was here until 10 AM this morning tacking the stomach on a 197 lb Mastiff. I love this dog! She is an absolute sweetheart! Her owner is very nice to work with also. Why can't all my patients and owners be this nice? I probably just jinxed myself. :laugh:0 -
^ sometimes you just get lucky, I guess.
I agree though, it would be nice if people in general were a lot nicer. Then I could go back to my natural self, I would think. I hope.0 -
sufferlandrian wrote: »She works in a pretty limited field so changing positions would probably involve relocation but I like your thinking.
I was here until 10 AM this morning tacking the stomach on a 197 lb Mastiff. I love this dog! She is an absolute sweetheart! Her owner is very nice to work with also. Why can't all my patients and owners be this nice? I probably just jinxed myself. :laugh:
Changing positions/shifts would definitely involve relocation. Unless I want to work in histology and the weird/terrible part is, if I get a degree, and change departments, I would be taking a pay cut.
The police department gets paid more than the majority of the researchers here!
I am actively thinking about getting a degree in psychology and then applying for the Austin City Police Department. They need more women and if I can remaster my Spanish I'll get a dual language bonus after passing the exam.
@sufferlandrian I LOVE really big dogs! My mom says we can't have an extra large dog because Tessa is as big as she wants to go. Tessa is about 65-75 pounds. She managed to coerce my dad into going for a walk with us, so she really is an amazing fursonal trainer!0 -
Ha Ha! I love the Fursonal trainer. 0
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I painted my nails today, I did my hair, I did my ab workout while dealing with TOM (even though it makes me feel like I'm working an antique hand water pump *gush*
). I've lost an inch on my hips and my underwear doesn't fit well anymore and it's making me cranky!
ETA: I think I win at the oversharing.
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I had a favorite acronym for the baggy underwear thing, but it's kinda gender specific:
N.I.P.S.
(Nuts In a Pillowcase Syndrome.)
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hamptontom wrote: »I had a favorite acronym for the baggy underwear thing, but it's kinda gender specific:
N.I.P.S.
(Nuts In a Pillowcase Syndrome.)
Wouldn't that happen with normal temperature fluctuation?
They rise up when it's too cold, don't they? That would definitely create a little bit of bagginess as well.
My coffee that I am spending my HARD EARNED 'delicious points' on is not living up to my expectations...*sigh*0 -
30 minutes and then I have TWO NIGHTS OFF! Thursday night I have choir practice and a potential date. We'll see...I might postpone. I dunno...0
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I opened a Monster and drank about 1/4 of the can. We got busy so when we got a break I went to the kitchen and grabbed another Monster. I got back to my desk and realized I know have two Monsters open. I'm not throwing one out. I'll have to drink them both before I leave this morning. 0
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lilaclovebird wrote: »
Wouldn't that happen with normal temperature fluctuation?
They rise up when it's too cold, don't they? That would definitely create a little bit of bagginess as well.
My coffee that I am spending my HARD EARNED 'delicious points' on is not living up to my expectations...*sigh*
sucks about your coffee...do you have options?
RE: temperature - i lived in the frigid northeast for 25+ years, and I don't know that I ever got cold enough to experience that phenomena...unfortunately, i'm that guy that sweats at the drop of a hat. One of my exes used to call me "her radiator".
So, no...this was simply a matter of too much space. The new ones, though, are perfect. 0 -
alright, guys...look: if @lilaclovebird has two days off, some of the rest of us are gonna have to pick up the slack.
don't leave it up to me, man...i'm totally in an oversharing mood tonight. 0 -
I would but I'm a daywalker during the week, and I'm particularly exhausted tonight. I'm lucky to have another hour in me! But till 10:30ish, hey I'll gladly help you overshare.0
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They call me Dr. Feel Good! He's the one gonna make everything alright....
I'm so grateful for pain meds. My patients are too.0 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »I would but I'm a daywalker during the week, and I'm particularly exhausted tonight. I'm lucky to have another hour in me! But till 10:30ish, hey I'll gladly help you overshare.
ETA: N.I.P.S.=hilarious!0 -
Dude! I'm still here, just treating a Newfie that was hit by a bus and only has bruised muscles. Lucky dog. 0
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