Poll: Giving compliments at the gym?

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aharburger
aharburger Posts: 44 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was at the gym today and i noticed another girl my age who looked really toned and fit. Like basically the kind of body I'm aspiring to have. I really wanted to go up to her and give her a compliment but I felt too awkward about it and didn't want her to be uncomfortable. I know I love hearing random compliments from strangers and it really motivates me, but...

Is it okay to compliment someone's body at the gym? How would you react? What's the least creepy/awkward wording?

Thanks guys!
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Replies

  • SadieRose07
    SadieRose07 Posts: 104 Member
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    I don't go to a gym, however, if it was me you'd freak me out. Not because I thought you were creepy or anything, but because I'm very uncomfortable with people commenting on my body.

    Because you don't know her, and it's in the context of just randomly walking up to her (you weren't sharing a machine/class, etc. where there would be a natural flow to such a compliment) I personally wouldn't do it.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.

    I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    I have done it many times in passing. The trick is to not try to make it a conversation, but a statement, and keep going on about your routein.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    You'd be better off complimenting her accomplishments than her physique. Like "Wow I'm so impressed that you ran the whole time I was working out!" or "Your deadlift numbers are craaaaaazy"
  • Riemersma4
    Riemersma4 Posts: 400 Member
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    I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.

    However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!

    Best!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.

    However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!

    Best!

    This is so me. Focused... music.... workout... don't talk to me!
  • JesterJoe
    JesterJoe Posts: 51
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    So many negatives. A blind approach is always awkward. You could always try it another way. Ask about her diet and exercise program. When she asks why?, tell the truth. You admire the success she appears to be enjoying and would like to know her secret. I see nothing wrong with that.
  • JesterJoe
    JesterJoe Posts: 51
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    These people are just rude. How do you develop and nurture a support system with such rudeness. Is this what you teach your children? No wonder we as a society are in trouble. My goodness!
  • feltlikesound
    feltlikesound Posts: 326 Member
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    At the gym I am in my bubble. I work out, I ignore the existence of anyone else, and I expect the same in return. A woman who I used to go to fitness classes with came up and complimented my progress a week ago, and while flattering, I prefer the illusion that no one is watching/appraising me (good, bad, or ugly), and that has been a powerful tool in overcoming insecurity, taking on the weight training area, etc.
  • murphy612
    murphy612 Posts: 734 Member
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    I just did this yesterday :-) She works with the same trainer I do and in passing I told her how fantastic she looked and how far she'd come. Yea....she looked a little uncomfortable, she thanked me and blushed. I don't care though, I wanted to do it. I think as long as you don't make a whole conversation about it and just give the compliment and go it's not a creepy thing to do.

    After reading the post, I guess it is creepy?!? heheheheheh I wouldn't mind receiving a compliment, guess others do.
  • thickerella
    thickerella Posts: 154 Member
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    Even if she appreciates the compliment, the next time she is there at the same time you are, she's going to be hyper-aware that you're LOOKING at her and it will make her uncomfortable. Best to leave her to her business and admire in silence.
  • caseythirteen
    caseythirteen Posts: 956 Member
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    If you want to compliment her than I say go for it. Instead of saying something like "your body looks great" you can something more like "You put in a lot of hard work and it shows - keep it up!". Still a compliment but lessens the creep factor. I've had a few people say things to me at the gym over the last year or so and it was always worded where it was remarking about my effort and results instead of something more purely physical and it never creeped me out. Just people trying to be nice and I appreciated it.
  • Barbonica
    Barbonica Posts: 337 Member
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    Different people like different things. I have had a couple of guys comment on my lifting (I am 52 YO - they were not hitting on me!!!) which was really nice. Not a lot of girls in my gym lifting, but I would take it the same way from them.

    If you want to complement someone, maybe ask what (arm/back/shoulder/leg) routine she does to get the results she has - less creepy then just commenting on her body.
  • FlabFighter86
    FlabFighter86 Posts: 233 Member
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    I've always felt like this too. There's a few people at my gym that are really amazing at what they do with their body, and I want to tell them that. But figured I'd just let them get on with it, and they might think I'm weird.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I like it when people compliment me on my workout -- how much I lift, how intensely I work out. I would feel weird if someone, male or female, commented on my body.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
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    Last night at the gym a guy walked up to me and said "hey bro, I've seen you coming in here with your buddy for about six months now and you have lost a ton of weight, you're kicking *kitten* bro." His buddy also took time out of a set to compliment me on my squat form, and also asked why I did squats without shoes. I gladly took the compliments and we talked for a bit. No need to feel awkward, just don't interrupt their set to do it, that's a little rude, but if you're both between sets, no reason you can't say something.

    Rigger
  • rlxsn
    rlxsn Posts: 58 Member
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    I think it's great to let someone know that their hard work is not going un-noticed. Some don't have a lot of support at home or with friends (quite often there is a lot of negativity in those areas) so having someone inject a little positive into someone's day may be just what they needed. I say go for it!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    These people are just rude. How do you develop and nurture a support system with such rudeness. Is this what you teach your children? No wonder we as a society are in trouble. My goodness!

    Personally, I think it's rude when someone is working out very intensely and someone comes up and tries to chat with them. Working out is a strenuous activity, and I don't have the breath to work out and chit chat. I'm very social in other situations, just not in the exercise area. I taught my children to respect other people's boundaries and decide whether to approach based on body language and facial cues.
  • caseythirteen
    caseythirteen Posts: 956 Member
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    Even if she appreciates the compliment, the next time she is there at the same time you are, she's going to be hyper-aware that you're LOOKING at her and it will make her uncomfortable
    I think this is way too much of a blanket statement. Some people might feel that way but so many just really appreciate a nicely worded compliment and move on. I think it's a shame that we avoid trying to say nice things to people because it *may* make them uncomfortable. Maybe if people said more nice things it wouldn't be so uncomfortable to some.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I have done it many times in passing. The trick is to not try to make it a conversation, but a statement, and keep going on about your routein.

    this.

    there is enough over lap at gym to sneak a compliment in with out making it creepy and without making it a full blown conversation/distracting thing.

    I get complimented quiet a bit at the gym- and it ranges from over the top/attention sucking annoying things to a simple thumbs up.

    I don't like complete strangers doing it- there is a certain "code" of friends (For lack of better words)... they aren't friends- you may not even know their name- but you see them working a lot- you give the head nod- are comfortable moving around them- you are familiar to them.

    Then there are complete strangers who you don't know and are behaving oddly.

    When odd people say things to me- or creep me- it's odd.

    But if it's someone I've seen once or twice- and clearly knows what they are doing- it tends to not bother me- I feel like context is everything.

    Context and timing. Doing it in the middle of my set and then hanging around- weird- and annoying.

    Context.
    Timing.

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