Poll: Giving compliments at the gym?

aharburger
aharburger Posts: 44 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was at the gym today and i noticed another girl my age who looked really toned and fit. Like basically the kind of body I'm aspiring to have. I really wanted to go up to her and give her a compliment but I felt too awkward about it and didn't want her to be uncomfortable. I know I love hearing random compliments from strangers and it really motivates me, but...

Is it okay to compliment someone's body at the gym? How would you react? What's the least creepy/awkward wording?

Thanks guys!
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Replies

  • SadieRose07
    SadieRose07 Posts: 104 Member
    I don't go to a gym, however, if it was me you'd freak me out. Not because I thought you were creepy or anything, but because I'm very uncomfortable with people commenting on my body.

    Because you don't know her, and it's in the context of just randomly walking up to her (you weren't sharing a machine/class, etc. where there would be a natural flow to such a compliment) I personally wouldn't do it.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.

    I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    I have done it many times in passing. The trick is to not try to make it a conversation, but a statement, and keep going on about your routein.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    You'd be better off complimenting her accomplishments than her physique. Like "Wow I'm so impressed that you ran the whole time I was working out!" or "Your deadlift numbers are craaaaaazy"
  • Riemersma4
    Riemersma4 Posts: 400 Member
    I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.

    However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!

    Best!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.

    However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!

    Best!

    This is so me. Focused... music.... workout... don't talk to me!
  • JesterJoe
    JesterJoe Posts: 51
    So many negatives. A blind approach is always awkward. You could always try it another way. Ask about her diet and exercise program. When she asks why?, tell the truth. You admire the success she appears to be enjoying and would like to know her secret. I see nothing wrong with that.
  • JesterJoe
    JesterJoe Posts: 51
    These people are just rude. How do you develop and nurture a support system with such rudeness. Is this what you teach your children? No wonder we as a society are in trouble. My goodness!
  • feltlikesound
    feltlikesound Posts: 326 Member
    At the gym I am in my bubble. I work out, I ignore the existence of anyone else, and I expect the same in return. A woman who I used to go to fitness classes with came up and complimented my progress a week ago, and while flattering, I prefer the illusion that no one is watching/appraising me (good, bad, or ugly), and that has been a powerful tool in overcoming insecurity, taking on the weight training area, etc.
  • murphy612
    murphy612 Posts: 734 Member
    I just did this yesterday :-) She works with the same trainer I do and in passing I told her how fantastic she looked and how far she'd come. Yea....she looked a little uncomfortable, she thanked me and blushed. I don't care though, I wanted to do it. I think as long as you don't make a whole conversation about it and just give the compliment and go it's not a creepy thing to do.

    After reading the post, I guess it is creepy?!? heheheheheh I wouldn't mind receiving a compliment, guess others do.
  • thickerella
    thickerella Posts: 154 Member
    Even if she appreciates the compliment, the next time she is there at the same time you are, she's going to be hyper-aware that you're LOOKING at her and it will make her uncomfortable. Best to leave her to her business and admire in silence.
  • caseythirteen
    caseythirteen Posts: 956 Member
    If you want to compliment her than I say go for it. Instead of saying something like "your body looks great" you can something more like "You put in a lot of hard work and it shows - keep it up!". Still a compliment but lessens the creep factor. I've had a few people say things to me at the gym over the last year or so and it was always worded where it was remarking about my effort and results instead of something more purely physical and it never creeped me out. Just people trying to be nice and I appreciated it.
  • Barbonica
    Barbonica Posts: 337 Member
    Different people like different things. I have had a couple of guys comment on my lifting (I am 52 YO - they were not hitting on me!!!) which was really nice. Not a lot of girls in my gym lifting, but I would take it the same way from them.

    If you want to complement someone, maybe ask what (arm/back/shoulder/leg) routine she does to get the results she has - less creepy then just commenting on her body.
  • FlabFighter86
    FlabFighter86 Posts: 233 Member
    I've always felt like this too. There's a few people at my gym that are really amazing at what they do with their body, and I want to tell them that. But figured I'd just let them get on with it, and they might think I'm weird.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    I like it when people compliment me on my workout -- how much I lift, how intensely I work out. I would feel weird if someone, male or female, commented on my body.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Last night at the gym a guy walked up to me and said "hey bro, I've seen you coming in here with your buddy for about six months now and you have lost a ton of weight, you're kicking *kitten* bro." His buddy also took time out of a set to compliment me on my squat form, and also asked why I did squats without shoes. I gladly took the compliments and we talked for a bit. No need to feel awkward, just don't interrupt their set to do it, that's a little rude, but if you're both between sets, no reason you can't say something.

    Rigger
  • rlxsn
    rlxsn Posts: 58 Member
    I think it's great to let someone know that their hard work is not going un-noticed. Some don't have a lot of support at home or with friends (quite often there is a lot of negativity in those areas) so having someone inject a little positive into someone's day may be just what they needed. I say go for it!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    These people are just rude. How do you develop and nurture a support system with such rudeness. Is this what you teach your children? No wonder we as a society are in trouble. My goodness!

    Personally, I think it's rude when someone is working out very intensely and someone comes up and tries to chat with them. Working out is a strenuous activity, and I don't have the breath to work out and chit chat. I'm very social in other situations, just not in the exercise area. I taught my children to respect other people's boundaries and decide whether to approach based on body language and facial cues.
  • caseythirteen
    caseythirteen Posts: 956 Member
    Even if she appreciates the compliment, the next time she is there at the same time you are, she's going to be hyper-aware that you're LOOKING at her and it will make her uncomfortable
    I think this is way too much of a blanket statement. Some people might feel that way but so many just really appreciate a nicely worded compliment and move on. I think it's a shame that we avoid trying to say nice things to people because it *may* make them uncomfortable. Maybe if people said more nice things it wouldn't be so uncomfortable to some.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I have done it many times in passing. The trick is to not try to make it a conversation, but a statement, and keep going on about your routein.

    this.

    there is enough over lap at gym to sneak a compliment in with out making it creepy and without making it a full blown conversation/distracting thing.

    I get complimented quiet a bit at the gym- and it ranges from over the top/attention sucking annoying things to a simple thumbs up.

    I don't like complete strangers doing it- there is a certain "code" of friends (For lack of better words)... they aren't friends- you may not even know their name- but you see them working a lot- you give the head nod- are comfortable moving around them- you are familiar to them.

    Then there are complete strangers who you don't know and are behaving oddly.

    When odd people say things to me- or creep me- it's odd.

    But if it's someone I've seen once or twice- and clearly knows what they are doing- it tends to not bother me- I feel like context is everything.

    Context and timing. Doing it in the middle of my set and then hanging around- weird- and annoying.

    Context.
    Timing.
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    I have had people give me compliments at my gym, usually in regards to my weight loss...which means it is starting to show (score!). It actually doesn't bother me and gives me warm fuzzies.

    And I have had compliments in regards to the routine I was doing. Had some guy say to me, "Just watching what you are doing makes me tired." I love comments like that, lol.
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
    I always compliment people at the gym. .Men and Women..
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
    Compliments aren't inherently weird. ...Of course they can be depending on the delivery.

    Id say if you find it weird or creepy to be complimented then that might be something to work on. Not being a **** here either, but graciously being able to accept a compliment is an actual skill with real life value IMO.
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    I like it when people compliment me on my workout -- how much I lift, how intensely I work out. I would feel weird if someone, male or female, commented on my body.
    sorry for going off topic, maybe its on topic, 98lbs ...totally legit ...awesome! Thank you for the inspiration
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
    I've had women ask me what I was doing and ask if I had any tips for how to improve certain things and it turns into a short compliment giving conversation. I had a guy ask me about the deadlifts I was doing the other day and then that led to some compliments. Initially, I'm kind of shocked by someone talking to me because, as a lot of these other posts state, talking to people is considered pretty much the rudest most inappropriate thing you can do at the gym... like, I'm trying to lift bro... :wink:

    Wait until she's finished with a set and ask her a question about some movement she was doing or ask how long it's taken her to accomplish whatever you look up to her for... the gym is a social environment as much as people insist that it isn't.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.

    I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!

    Not everyone that says something nice to you is hitting on you. All the guys in the gym are not staring at you. I hear that comment a lot from woman and its simply not the case. Some creeps might be staring, but its not the majority.
  • iwanttoinspireothers
    iwanttoinspireothers Posts: 2
    WOW, im just getting too old school to keep up it sounds like. Old days, people... WOMEN included LOVED having people compliment them on their well kept physiques. I work HARD to stay in shape...GUYS know how hard another guy is working to have a thin stomach I LOVE when someone notices my progress

    AND I LOVE talking with people I don't put myself in a shell with headphones and "do my thing" and get out of there. You have to be kind to your fellow man. TALK TO PEOPLE BE APPROACHABLE yourself ...It isn't JUST about you. Sorry,, but its not.
    How do you ever make friends? Oh let me guess, you don't "need" anymore friends. THAT is the bggest way today you are fooling yourself It says you think youre "all that"
    It doesn't mean JUMP in bed with me if someone says wow youre looking great!!

    WOW
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    Compliments should be fine. The majority of people who exercise consistently do it to look good anyway. Just a quick comment of "just want to say what ever you're doing is working" usually doesn't come across as creepy and if you're not constantly staring at the person, shouldn't cause an uproar.
    People like compliments. They don't like being stalked though.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    I have done it many times in passing. The trick is to not try to make it a conversation, but a statement, and keep going on about your routein.

    seems like there is a lot of wisdom in this. if its just something you say and thats it, you'd have to be a little concieded or parinoid or something to take it as anything other then face value
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    WOW, im just getting too old school to keep up it sounds like. Old days, people... WOMEN included LOVED having people compliment them on their well kept physiques. I work HARD to stay in shape...GUYS know how hard another guy is working to have a thin stomach I LOVE when someone notices my progress

    AND I LOVE talking with people I don't put myself in a shell with headphones and "do my thing" and get out of there. You have to be kind to your fellow man. TALK TO PEOPLE BE APPROACHABLE yourself ...It isn't JUST about you. Sorry,, but its not.
    How do you ever make friends? Oh let me guess, you don't "need" anymore friends. THAT is the bggest way today you are fooling yourself It says you think youre "all that"
    It doesn't mean JUMP in bed with me if someone says wow youre looking great!!

    WOW

    So are you approachable on the toilet? In the shower? There are activities that are considered personal. Working out hard is one of them. Just because it's a big public room doesn't mean you have to talk to everyone. There are appropriate times and places to be social.

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