Poll: Giving compliments at the gym?
Replies
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It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.
I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!
This is a woman talking about complimenting another woman. VERY unlikely she is hitting on her.
Personal experience: I have had a woman hit on me at the gym. More than once. You do know about lesbians, right?
I thought lesbians were like unicorns...0 -
I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.
However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!
Best!
This is so me. Focused... music.... workout... don't talk to me!
this x 100
I would still give you a compliment in the gym.
Thank you. And I would accept it if I actually heard it over the music! Have a great day!
Best!0 -
It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.
I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!
This is a woman talking about complimenting another woman. VERY unlikely she is hitting on her.
Personal experience: I have had a woman hit on me at the gym. More than once. You do know about lesbians, right?
I really like how full of yourself you are. Want to be friends?
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I was at the gym today and i noticed another girl my age who looked really toned and fit. Like basically the kind of body I'm aspiring to have. I really wanted to go up to her and give her a compliment but I felt too awkward about it and didn't want her to be uncomfortable. I know I love hearing random compliments from strangers and it really motivates me, but...
Is it okay to compliment someone's body at the gym? How would you react?
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I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.
However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!
Best!
This is so me. Focused... music.... workout... don't talk to me!
this x 100
I would still give you a compliment in the gym.
would you buy me beer and wings for the game too ??? lol
yes. and pizza.0 -
OP: You like her look. When she's in a rest period, ask her how she got that look, because that's the general look you're going for. She'll feel complimented without you actually complimenting her. Plus, you'll maybe get some tips on how to get there and maybe make a new friend.
I like that wording, and its true. When I admire someone at the gym (*not staring* i promise!) its always because they have something i aspire to!0 -
I love compliments of all kinds. I wouldn't think the compliment giver was creepy unless they were drooling or fondling themselves while they were talking to me. So just don't do that.
:laugh:0 -
I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.
However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the NIN turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!
G4BR13L0 -
Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.
Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.
Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)
Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.0 -
I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout0
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Headphones on. World off. Stare straight ahead. Only verbal contact is to ask for a spotter.0
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Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.
Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.
Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)
Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.
^I disagree with this. Male to female compliments mean trying to get into their pants? What if the guy is gay? And females who like females couldn't have this same agenda? And I've seen guys compliment each other, though it's been on the workout itself and not physique but if they are both gay, then the complimenting to get sex/date still doesn't apply because it's a male to male compliment, right?
My point is trying to box people in like this is not insightful at all and just breeds ignorant stereotypes and assumptions.0 -
I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout
it's a gym... everyone watches everyone. It's what people do- they people watch.Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.
Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.
Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)
Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.
or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.0 -
If I go out of my way to dole out a compliment and it's not well received or taken the wrong way then that's their problem, not mine.0
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I am a shy introvert but I can graciously smile and say thank you to a compliment. I always wore headphones at the gym but if someone was talking to me, I would pop one out and respond. I know how to act in a social setting but I prefer to keep to myself.
And sometimes the compliment depends on the person and delivery. If its the dude that always gets on the treadmill behind me or seems to stretch the same time I do and lift on the bench next to me I am going to start wondering about his intentions.0 -
If you think that you're going to sound awkward saying something then you're probably going to sound awkward saying something. How about starting with just saying "hi" and introducing yourself? Leave the compliment for later unless you couch it as a question on fitness. The gym is a pretty social place, at least the ones I've been in. It's not like there isn't time to chat between sets.0
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I think the whole “rudeness” thing comes from the apparent disconnect between placing oneself in a public setting yet insisting on being left alone. It does seem somewhat impolite when people sound like they’re saying “I’m going to be out in public, but don’t you DARE talk to me”. (And it doesn’t help that internet board “discussions” lack the capacity for nuance and more frequent back-and-forth play as you find in face-to-face discussions.)
Do I think it’s rude? No, although I do see the irony in being surrounded by people yet being isolated at the same time. But I also come from a background where I was taught to greet strangers as we passed on the street, and if their response to “how are you” or “how’s it going” lasts longer than “fine” or “okay”, you take a moment to listen before moving on. Not everyone comes from that kind of background.
Myself, I’d say trying to talk to someone by interrupting them in mid-set is impolite (unless you’re my friend, in which case I reserve the right to heckle you at any and all times), but it’s fair game to have a word or two, or even a brief chat, when resting. In my situation, if I don’t want to interact with people because I’m thinking about something or because I, as an introvert, need some “alone” time to recharge, I go when the gym is empty, sometimes not hitting the running track until 10 PM. Alternatively, I work out at home because I view being in public as carrying implicit permission to approach me until I say otherwise.
Which brings me back to the OP: I’d say it’s okay to compliment someone at the gym, just wait until they’re in a resting phase, don’t draw it out too long, and don’t take offense if it seems their mind is elsewhere. Creepiness and awkwardness are all in the eye of the beholder, which is why it would be important to keep your comment brief. If they want to talk about it, they can. If they feel awkward, they can just smile, nod, and move on.0 -
I am on a quest to be my authentic self. I feel that if your mind is telling you to give this lady a compliment, then go for it! You never know, she may offer to train with you. I wouldn't do it while she's in the middle of a set but if she appears to be resting and you are on your way over anyway for this or that, I say go for it.
When I was younger and in great shape and a gym rat, I would get compliments all the time and I loved them! Part of the reason I would go to the gym is for the atmosphere. It was so nice to be in a location where mostly everyone was there trying to better their bodies and minds. I felt a strong camaraderie at my old gym. I miss it.0 -
I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout
it's a gym... everyone watches everyone. It's what people do- they people watch.Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.
Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.
Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)
Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.
or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.
So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.0 -
I am sure that there are many thoughts on this.
However, for me, I show up and do my work out. I have zero interest in talking to anyone. I keep my headphones in and the Scorpions turned up loud to help avoid any human to human interaction!
Best!
This is so me. Focused... music.... workout... don't talk to me!
this x 100
I would still give you a compliment in the gym.
would you buy me beer and wings for the game too ??? lol
yes. and pizza.
marry me???? LOL0 -
I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout
it's a gym... everyone watches everyone. It's what people do- they people watch.Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.
Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.
Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)
Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.
or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.
So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.
meh - I do. I was seriously overweight and out of shape at one point and some seriously fit dudes took me under their wings. Pay it forward0 -
I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.
Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.0 -
I think it would be lovely to offer a compliment. Of course, you'll make sure she's not mid-set when you offer it up. But I have worked dang hard to get where I am, and if someone stopped me on my way to the locker room to say that I've inspired them in some way or if they admired my triceps or whatever, I'd be over the moon. I'm not there fishing for compliments EVER, but wow, how awesome would that feel?
I have a friend who is marvelous at complimenting people, and she has inspired me to be more thoughtful about this and freely give more compliments. People are quick to "like" posts or videos online, but they seem so hesitant to tell someone in real life that they admire something about them. A random little girl at my boys' bus stop totally made my day by complimenting my hair. Another lady stopped me at McDonald's to offer a compliment. Most of us are reasonable adults, and if someone is giving off a unapproachable vibe, then I may rethink it, but life is too short to not throw out those warm fuzzies every chance we can get. Who knows the impact that your pleasant remark could have on someone having maybe a not so great day? So far no one has been visibly creeped out by my efforts. 0 -
Seems I'm in the minority, but I do not like to socialize at the gym. I like to just quietly focus on what I'm doing.0
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I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.
Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.
"Give it up prom date!!!"0 -
So you've never found any guy at the gym even remotely attractive? I find that very hard to believe.
Nope. I don't look and I'm not interested in looking. Only man I care to oogle is my husband.
I know I'm in the minority on that one. I sometimes find someone "pretty" in an abstract way, like a pretty vase or something, but that's the extent of it. I don't go nuts over celebrities either.0 -
It would creep me out. I would think you're either weird or that you're hitting on me. Neither would be okay for me. I absolutely hate dealing with people's judgements - both good and bad. I hate the scrutiny.
I also hate people looking which is why I don't lift. Guys really need to focus more on themselves at the gym!
This is a woman talking about complimenting another woman. VERY unlikely she is hitting on her.
Personal experience: I have had a woman hit on me at the gym. More than once. You do know about lesbians, right?
I really like how full of yourself you are. Want to be friends?
I'll totally be your friend if you want. Hard to test out sincerity online though. I'm not full of myself - sarcasm?0 -
There is no one right answer, the answers depend on the recipient (which you are guessing at) and the situation, which you can observe and adjust to.
I do Warrior Training on my non-running days. I was, until last week, the newest person in the 6a class I take. I was also the slowest and least capable, lol. The new girl and I both wondered how long it took one of the longer attending ladies to perfect a certain exercise (she looks like she designed it!) and we together approached her after class and asked how she did it and told her how fabulous she looked and that we both hoped to have her physique one day. She has been at it a year (made us feel better!) and appreciated our compliments because she said she'd been working hard to get to where she was.
We made it as much about our desire to improve as her achievement and I know that I had not even a moment of discomfort in the dialogue. She is very nice, smiley and makes eye contact, so I did not get the impression she is not up for conversation. If she was a bit grim and only focused on the instructor, I'd likely not have said a word.
Just pay attention to the woman you admire and then approach when the time is right with your compliment.0 -
I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.
Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.
I socialize before and after fitness class. Otherwise....I'd really rather not.
Of course you'll notice the moron who drops his weights. He probably does it for that purpose! But that doesn't mean you're also determining if he's got good arms or whatever.0 -
These people are just rude. How do you develop and nurture a support system with such rudeness. Is this what you teach your children? No wonder we as a society are in trouble. My goodness!
Well Sufferin Succotash
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