need some help from pervy looks!

nightshiftzoomer

Stay at home and never go outside...problem solved

Candi_land

OP I came in here originally intending to make a joke but have decided to give a serious answer instead. At my heaviest, while I still received some attention it wasn't very often, or at least I didn't notice it because I was so miserable with my own insecurities that I interpreted every single look as one of those "Omg she's so fat" stares. Now that I've lost some weight, I do receive quite a bit of male attention. I have social anxiety/body image issues so it's a bit unsettling and makes me feel awkward sometimes as I am not used to it, but I've mostly learned to take it as a compliment and smile in thanks unless it's blatantly disrespectful.

More often than not it's a look of admiration and approval and I can promise you not every look you receive is pervy.

I really recommend talking to someone (I do and it's helped me!), as they can probably help you get through issues you most likely never even knew you had.

Best of luck to you!

zyxst

Send them to me. I don't mind pervy looks.

195to135

I don't understand the question.

Either do I... But then again only one who's ever looked or talked to me at the gym was an old guy about 60 and he just wanted help off a machine :ohwell:

kobiemom

It's a new experience and you need some confidence. That's all. How about this: Tell yourself that you are receiving admiring glances because people notice how toned and fit you are. They're trying to figure out what exercise you're doing, but don't want to seem forward. Good? When you wear baggy clothes, people wonder why that awesome gal is dressed like she's homeless and are doing a mental "What Not To Wear" assessment. It's a head game.

HDHogger

I don't understand the question.

Pretty much this.


As my body has gotten better, my clothes have gotten tighter, and my *kitten* wiggles more than ever. If I DON'T get a least one pervy look each time I'm out it's classified as a FAIL.

You're hot, guys want to check you out. Maybe even some girls. Enjoy it!

This, although working with the public, I do get the difference between enjoying the attention and feeling like I want a shower. I've discovered that comes down to my feelings about the guy giving the looks - if he's good looking, the attention is welcome. Creepy old dude - not so much.

So, If a guy isn't attractive, his looks are auto magically taken as creepy. Looks from a hot guy make you feel good about yourself and that's welcomed...?

When a guy is old enough to be my father stares, then promptly comes over and gets into my personal space, yes, he's creepy. Same thing if I would otherwise find him hot. Do not get into my personal space without invitation.

Now if you can look, and keep going on about your day, or stop and talk but at least respect my space, it's welcomed.

If this is a reference to me, I don't recall ever saying anything to you or her,,commenting to something you said or she said, doing anything that would put me in your personal space or hers,
You made an argument that doesn't hold water and now you are trying desperately to save face!

TheSlorax

It sounds like you might be suffering from social anxiety. Believe me, people are not looking at you nearly as much as you think they are. Perhaps you should talk to someone about this.

Came in here to say this. Even if you are getting a lot of looks they shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable to the point where you feel the need to hide in baggy clothing.

I actually have LESS anxiety now than I did before I lost weight. Back then I was miserable because I thought everyone was looking at me because I was fat. Nowadays I rarely if ever notice anyone checking me out (people usually have to tell me someone was appreciative) and I feel much much better in public. Good luck OP.

Fullsterkur_woman

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS"

<----Trains to be stronger, dresses to be comfortable doing whatever activity I'm involved in and appropriate to the weather, and shows cleavage if I happen to be wearing a tank top. It's as if I hardly consider other people at all. Mostly because I don't.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

I'm going to have to agree with a lot of the people offering sympathy. If you've been hurt by someone and made to feel self-conscious about your weight (say when you were young), it can have real and lasting negative effects.

Please consider seeing a therapist. I'm willing to bet your issues with self-image and how you perceive yourself have way more impact than a couple glances from strangers. Self love and acceptance isn't always easy.

SeriousBen

Assuming that the OP wasn't joking/trolling.

Looking at attractive people and wanting to have sex with them is literally in our DNA and is the only reason why you even exist. Getting offended at how Life reproduces itself is ridiculous, at best.

Rosplosion

Yesterday I stopped at a supermarket and was puttering around my car. Three different men nearly crashed into me checking out my *kitten*. One of them stopped and told me my *kitten* was super hot. I gave him a high five.

Behxo

complaining about turning heads? I wish that I could turn more of them! Should take it as a compliment unless they start stalking you or something lol

Willbenchforcupcakes

I don't understand the question.

Pretty much this.


As my body has gotten better, my clothes have gotten tighter, and my *kitten* wiggles more than ever. If I DON'T get a least one pervy look each time I'm out it's classified as a FAIL.

You're hot, guys want to check you out. Maybe even some girls. Enjoy it!

This, although working with the public, I do get the difference between enjoying the attention and feeling like I want a shower. I've discovered that comes down to my feelings about the guy giving the looks - if he's good looking, the attention is welcome. Creepy old dude - not so much.

So, If a guy isn't attractive, his looks are auto magically taken as creepy. Looks from a hot guy make you feel good about yourself and that's welcomed...?

When a guy is old enough to be my father stares, then promptly comes over and gets into my personal space, yes, he's creepy. Same thing if I would otherwise find him hot. Do not get into my personal space without invitation.

Now if you can look, and keep going on about your day, or stop and talk but at least respect my space, it's welcomed.

If this is a reference to me, I don't recall ever saying anything to you or her,,commenting to something you said or she said, doing anything that would put me in your personal space or hers,
You made an argument that doesn't hold water and now you are trying desperately to save face!

I'm talking about in real life. Working in the public, it's a daily thing to have people choose to get into my personal space. When you are inches away from me, and I have zero choice but to be polite, I freaking hate it.

Online, if I don't want the attention, I can simply choose to ignore you.

rml_16

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

I don't mind it and a lot of women don't. I appreciate it, actually.

But one thing you should be aware of is that a lot of women who become obese -- who are emotional eaters and things like that -- have been victimized. It's very common for sexual abuse and rape victims to gain a lot of weight as a way to hide from that kind of attention. I don't know if this is the case with the OP, but if so, those looks to her are more than just men appreciating that she looks nice. They're sinister and scary from her perception.

But even women who were never victims, if they were heavy their entire lives and never received that kind of attention, they aren't used to it and don't know how to handle it.

_Terrapin_

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Men look, women know it...and you can accomplish this without be pervy...maybe it's your snowboard....next caller...

_Terrapin_

Yesterday I stopped at a supermarket and was puttering around my car. Three different men nearly crashed into me checking out my *kitten*. One of them stopped and told me my *kitten* was super hot. I gave him a high five.

SAME!!! My wife is getting upset at the guy's commenting to my face though. (sarcasm for those of you who are slow on the up take)

SaintGiff

No to all of this. The reality is that you were always getting looks. You just now feel good enough about yourself to interpret them as "Hey, I wanna shag her" looks, whereas before you assumed everyone who looked at you was judging you. And that's if you even allowed yourself to notice them at all. Perception is reality.

Chieflrg

They're probably wondering why some hot chick is covering her body up with baggy clothes.

Comes with the territory, get use to it.

BigBeaver

I thought most women, post weight loss, with newfound body confidence, wanted to turn heads and be appealing to the opposite sex. Many NSV posts are directly correlated to this. I don't get it. It's basic human DNA. The human male is predisposed to looking for a human female. The brain (most times the tiny one hidden in the jeans) is constatnly searching for the mate to procreate with, as part of basic human desire. Men are finding you attractive and checking you out, upsets you. I promise, if by chance I ever pass you on the street, I will close my eyes.

randomtai

:huh: :huh: :huh: