need some help from pervy looks!

summertime_girl

Can we clarify what a "pervy look" is?

I just want to make sure I'm doing it right when I objectify a hot guy.

DancingJester

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

I don’t have a problem with guys looking at me (some women might) I actually am quite flattered when I guy obviously likes how I look. I look at guys I find attractive and I’m no hypocrite. However when you get the shouting in the street and gazing at nothing but your boobs and legs its really uncomfortable. I’m sick of guys saying well they’re asking for it if they dress nice, like looking nice gives a guy some kind of ticket to instantly see a woman as noting more than an object. (and its not just girls with ludicrously short skits or low cut tops either).
I spent an entire train journey with some guy looking at my boobs (I didn’t even have cleavage showing that day) he had a boner and didn’t even bother covering it up.
Imagine spending 30 minutes with some creepy looking girt look at nothing but your D*ck (If she’s just talking about looks then it doesn’t really bother me but this is what I call purvey)

Will_Thrust_For_Candy

I don't understand the question.

Pretty much this.


As my body has gotten better, my clothes have gotten tighter, and my *kitten* wiggles more than ever. If I DON'T get a least one pervy look each time I'm out it's classified as a FAIL.

You're hot, guys want to check you out. Maybe even some girls. Enjoy it!

Ohai! (pervy look) Love your outfit. Keep up the good work!

:blushing: Thank you :flowerforyou:

Will_Thrust_For_Candy

Can we clarify what a "pervy look" is?

I just want to make sure I'm doing it right when I objectify a hot guy.

x2

tlcarolinagirl

Maybe they are wondering why you are wearing such baggy clothes? I think you need some self confidence. And yeah, if I don't get atleast one pervy look a day, I'm not doing something right. I guess if you don't want it, just flip 'em off.

HDHogger

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Men look, women know it...and you can accomplish this without be pervy...maybe it's your snowboard....next caller...

Whatever .. this isn't about me or me giving "pervy" looks to women. I responded to the original question out of not understanding why men are considered pervy for looking at an attractive woman and why their looks at women are categorized as perverted.
I'm gonna have to take a little time to figure out where a snow board fits into this debate, though.. Like Arnold said, "I'll be back."

neenorROAR

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Maybe the OP, like many women out there, works out and dresses for herself rather than to be leered at? Just because a woman looks good, or wants to look good, doesn't make her automatically the property of men to be treated like a lump of meat. Men aren't animals, after all.

SeriousBen

Men aren't animals, after all.

What are we then? Plants?

Beckilovespizza

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!

thesupremeforce

No to all of this. The reality is that you were always getting looks. You just now feel good enough about yourself to interpret them as "Hey, I wanna shag her" looks, whereas before you assumed everyone who looked at you was judging you. And that's if you even allowed yourself to notice them at all. Perception is reality.

This sounds accurate to me.

What actually qualifies as a "pervy look" anyway?

tlcarolinagirl

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!

Ditto... love Jenna Marbles. :laugh: :drinker:

SeriousBen

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!

That's what I found:



Needless to say, I'd still look at her

devil_in_a_blue_dress

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Yeah, I don't look sexy for anyone but myself. If somebody wants to appreciate my appearance, that's nice, more power to them --I really don't care what they think though. What I care about is obviously being stared at and comments that extend way beyond a nice compliment into creepy territory.

HDHogger

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Maybe the OP, like many women out there, works out and dresses for herself rather than to be leered at? Just because a woman looks good, or wants to look good, doesn't make her automatically the property of men to be treated like a lump of meat. Men aren't animals, after all.

If you think for a minute I'm going to believe that women do all the above so they can look at themselves in a mirror and say, you go girl, looking good. Or, women do all the above to be able to feel good wearing eye candy clothing because it's more comfortable. I don't wear yoga attire but I would think a hoodie and sweat pants would be more comfortable than stretch to fit clothing that magnifies every curved feature of a persons body..

Fullsterkur_woman

I thought most women, post weight loss, with newfound body confidence, wanted to turn heads and be appealing to the opposite sex. Many NSV posts are directly correlated to this. I don't get it. It's basic human DNA. The human male is predisposed to looking for a human female. The brain (most times the tiny one hidden in the jeans) is constatnly searching for the mate to procreate with, as part of basic human desire. Men are finding you attractive and checking you out, upsets you. I promise, if by chance I ever pass you on the street, I will close my eyes.

I think I agree with you in general terms, but for ignoring homosexuality entirely.

Also, just because it's true for most women doesn't mean it's true for the OP. She doesn't need to justify her feelings for them to be nevertheless valid.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

No to all of this. The reality is that you were always getting looks. You just now feel good enough about yourself to interpret them as "Hey, I wanna shag her" looks, whereas before you assumed everyone who looked at you was judging you. And that's if you even allowed yourself to notice them at all. Perception is reality.

This sounds accurate to me.

What actually qualifies as a "pervy look" anyway?

One that lasts too long. One that focuses somewhere other than face.

Really, it shouldn't be hard to figure out -- when you are obviously making somebody uncomfortable.

KrazyDaizy

I totally mis-read this. I thought you wanted help with giving pervy looks. My bad, I was going to give you sooooooo many pointers!

Best of luck to you with keeping people from not giving pervy looks. If you master that skill, please fill me in on how to stop people from doing what they want.

IMO, you should just shake it a little more when someone is perving on you (just keep your keys positioned in between your fingers for quick stabs if needed)

Beckilovespizza

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!

That's what I found:



Needless to say, I'd still look at her

Lol, Jenna is not quite looking her best in that pic. I can't put the link for some reason but the vid is called 'how to avoid talking to people when you don't want to' it's a classic!

_Terrapin_

:huh: :huh: :huh:

How you doin'?!?

mccindy72

I've lost some weight and noticed a few glances from the opposite sex but cannot help but still feel self concious! i cannot stand these looks as i wear baggy clothes and still get these looks. is there a mantra you use or some self help book ..?

Why are you using the term 'pervy' in your thread title? And why do you feel self-conscious about the looks you are getting? I think that recognizing it's you by asking about a self-help book is good. Try seeking a good therapist. The fact that you are wearing baggy clothes and still think you are getting 'pervy' looks is telling. you need some counseling.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Maybe the OP, like many women out there, works out and dresses for herself rather than to be leered at? Just because a woman looks good, or wants to look good, doesn't make her automatically the property of men to be treated like a lump of meat. Men aren't animals, after all.

If you think for a minute I'm going to believe that women do all the above so they can look at themselves in a mirror and say, you go girl, looking good. Or, women do all the above to be able to feel good wearing eye candy clothing because it's more comfortable. I don't wear yoga attire but I would think a hoodie and sweat pants would be more comfortable than stretch to fit clothing that magnifies every curved feature of a persons body..

Um, most men I know have no actual appreciation for beauty rituals. They cry and claim "But women look better with a natural face and sweat pants!" this somehow doesn't dissuade most women from wearing make up, doing their hair and wearing whatever they want to wear, does it?

You are so wrong about what actually motivates women who actually have an ounce of confidence. Maybe what you are saying is true about women who are still struggling with their appearance, but for those of us who don't this kind of thinking would hilarious if it wasn't so objectifying.

_Terrapin_

Can we clarify what a "pervy look" is?

I just want to make sure I'm doing it right when I objectify a hot guy.

Right now you are....stop staring at my fluffy pillow!!!!

Trishsimon

It's a compliment if men are looking at you they are obviously attracted to what they see, just enjoy the attention.
If they were wolf whistling or leering at you then that would be a problem, its a confidence booster to have anyone give you a second glance you know they like what they see.
Don't keep wearing baggy clothes show off your figure you will feel better it doesnt mean you have to suddenly switch to mini skirts and low cut tops just wear form fitting elegant outfits and honestly it will change how you feel and look and sure why not get a new hair do also its all about change after all....so just enjoy !

_Terrapin_

I've lost some weight and noticed a few glances from the opposite sex but cannot help but still feel self concious! i cannot stand these looks as i wear baggy clothes and still get these looks. is there a mantra you use or some self help book ..?

Why are you using the term 'pervy' in your thread title? And why do you feel self-conscious about the looks you are getting? I think that recognizing it's you by asking about a self-help book is good. Try seeking a good therapist. The fact that you are wearing baggy clothes and still think you are getting 'pervy' looks is telling. you need some counseling.

Counseling may work, but then again, they stare quite a bit...almost pervy like staring........ewwwww.......(again for those slow on the up take this is sarcasm)

minibandit

I totally understand where the OP is coming from and I disagree with some of the comments here that seem to link losing weight with wanting attention.
I'm losing weight so that I can live life without feeling on the verge of disabled - attention from others is the last thing on my mind right now.

Years ago I lost weight and wasn't prepared for the attention I got. I have to walk down a long road that often has standing traffic on it to do the school run and I had been walking down that road for what seemed like forever.

I lost the weight over time and it got to summer and far from wearing skimpy or revealing clothes I just wore usual summer casual stuff - t shirt and jeans - whatever.

The looks I could cope with even though I was starting to feel a bit 'cringe' about it. But when the comments and calls started occasionally from the stationary cars I felt so embarrassingly self-conscious and uncomfortable - and sometimes my children were with me! I started to dread the school run - so I do know what the OP is talking about.

I'm losing weight again and I'm prepared this time - mostly because I don't ever want to feel this unwell again and comments and stares are far easier to cope with than my physical state is at this moment.

I'm also seeing a dietician this time and she's also a psychologist - she gave me some stuff to take away and read the last time I saw her and one of the areas was preparing yourself for 'attention' of all kinds, including the pervy type. That actually made me feel better as I thought - if it's on her info sheets then I can't be the only person to have ever struggled with this.

And you are not alone either...

dumb_blondes_rock

Can we clarify what a "pervy look" is?

I just want to make sure I'm doing it right when I objectify a hot guy.

My guess is with an awful creepy grin while rubbing their stomach and moaning....but that's just my guess....or they may just be thinking about bacon, in that case the scenario isn't creepy/pervy at all

BigBeaver

I thought most women, post weight loss, with newfound body confidence, wanted to turn heads and be appealing to the opposite sex. Many NSV posts are directly correlated to this. I don't get it. It's basic human DNA. The human male is predisposed to looking for a human female. The brain (most times the tiny one hidden in the jeans) is constatnly searching for the mate to procreate with, as part of basic human desire. Men are finding you attractive and checking you out, upsets you. I promise, if by chance I ever pass you on the street, I will close my eyes.

I think I agree with you in general terms, but for ignoring homosexuality entirely.

Also, just because it's true for most women doesn't mean it's true for the OP. She doesn't need to justify her feelings for them to be nevertheless valid.

True, I did negate or was negligible in mentioning same sex looks or predispositions, which is totally cool with me if that is how you are anyone else rolls. Don't have a problem with it at all. The feelings of the OP are valid and she doesn't have to justify them, you are also correct.

However, more to the point, men will never understand women, because one of us is from Mars and one of us is from Venus, they wrote a book about it. I understand her or anyone else not wanting to be "PERVED" as it maybe, but hell, if a woman or a dude wanna check me out, I nod smile and say thank you. It feels good to be noticed.

HDHogger

This whole argument boils down to what one female has already said but is trying to crawfish on what she meant. If a guy is attractive and gives a look of interest, his look is welcomed. If a guy is unattractive, his look is perverted and considered offensive. That's the facts whether you like it or not and If you don't like it then learn to deal with it. Women make comments on here that could be taken as offensive yet it's overlooked because it just being playful. When a man says something along the same lines it's considered as sexist by MOST women. All women don't feel playful comments are sexist but MOST do.

Fit2Strip

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Douche.
You're operating under this typical b.s. view that every girl gets fit and dresses attractive for your attention. The world doesn't revolve around your or guys in general. Some girls do it for looks, but most do it for themselves. They get fit to be healthy and because they like how THEY feel and how THEY LIKE their body. They wear clothes that make them feel good. It's for themselves. Women are independent entities with their own lives. They don't operate solely for the benefit of men.

There's also a difference between noticing a girl looks beautiful and staring at her in a very lecherous way that makes her uncomfortable.

zyxst

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!