need some help from pervy looks!
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I retaliate by being dismissive towards guys like that. Or if that fails, an outright *****.
They soon leave you alone - unless they are really eager of course, then you just have to ignore them.0 -
Thanks:happy: I am appreciative. So taking your counsel to "look and enjoy" would be contrary to that, as you said, you and your husband take a different approach. I do like attractive men and women, however, I take the safest road that would not leave me in another woman's cross-hairs regarding her man!The OP question is so pathetic b/c it's so non-specific!:explode:
Men like to look at women, generally.
Conversely, women like to be looked at, generally.
There's the general answer to your general, if pathetic, question.
I'm married. My husband loves me and is all male....he thinks women are attractive. However, he tries to avoid giving his attention to another woman besides me (b/c that would hurt me). It's amazing how he has to discipline himself at work and at other times....women can be pretty aggressive about seeking that attention (not that you are doing that OP). He even stopped helping new employees train (mostly women) b/c they are almost always unprofessionally provocative. "It's not worth it" was his final word on the matter.
Basically, it's ignorant, and perhaps unkind, to have an accusing attitude toward men when that is how they are physically made (to respond to the sight of a woman). Morally speaking, my husband and I think it is wrong to give sexually provocative attention to someone other than your spouse or fiance.
Yeah, I'm gonna sound in on this one. I'm married too, and my husband and I have a slightly different take on it. We both like to look at other people and can appreciate their looks and even talk to each other about it. We're married, not dead, and flirting can be fun. We don't touch other people, or kiss other people, or cheat in any way, but it's nice to notice and be noticed. You should be appreciative that your husband is attractive and appreciated by other women, and that he is still honorable and faithful to you. Let him look and enjoy, and do some looking of your own.0 -
Am I the only person who is confused about a girl choosing a user name with 'bumbum 69' in it, then coming on the forums to complain about getting attention from men?:huh: :huh:0
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^^^I had a similar question!0
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An obvious Troll!0
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An obvious Troll!
Odd considering she joined in 2012. Trolls typically have a recently opened account.0 -
Perhaps, with with weight loss, you also need to gain confidence in yourself. If you look good now... and didn't before, of course you are self-conscious. It is normal, you are not used to it.
Enjoy the attention, but if it is difficult, seek advice from a professional. The anxiety is not worth it and worst case you get scared and stop losing weight and feeling better.0 -
"Pervy" derives from the word "perverse" but that makes no sense whatsoever in this context.
Nature made men and women to be attracted to each other in order to reproduce and maintain the species. That is a fundamental part of biology. Any species that does not reproduce becomes extinct.
So if a man looks at a women as a potential reproduction partner, that is the exact opposite of perverse. It is in fact completely natural.
So OP's complaint, as near as I can tell, is that men are NOT perverse at all. Rather men look at her as a potential reproduction mate, exactly as nature intended. Perhaps these should be called "natury looks" instead of pervy looks.0 -
I would not let a man use this as an excuse to cross my boundaries..Perhaps these should be called "natury looks" instead of pervy looks.0 -
An obvious Troll!
Odd considering she joined in 2012. Trolls typically have a recently opened account.
Good point! Really thought I was on to somethin...LOL0 -
I remembered this after reading the thread.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/10/29/body-shape-objectification-technology/3287287/
Its human nature.0 -
This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!
Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?
Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you.0 -
I think if all looks make you uneasy that it's probably you and a deep level of self-doubt. And some people are just creeps. You deserve to feel good about yourself
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dude > she wears baggy clothing to NOT get attention ,, comprehension isn't your strong point DUDEThis is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!
Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?
Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you0 -
The post was about getting pervy looks that made her uncomfortable. It wasn't about why was she getting pervy looks when wearing baggy clothing
dude > she wears baggy clothing to NOT get attention ,, comprehension isn't your strong point DUDEThis is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!
Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?
Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you0 -
lol at the people in here who think the only reason anyone loses weight is to look better to the opposite sex0
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If you've followed the post you would know the consensus is people want to look good to attract the opposite sexlol at the people in here who think the only reason anyone loses weight is to look better to the opposite sex0 -
and? clearly op is not one of those people?0
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It was agreed by the majority she had confidence issuesand? clearly op is not one of those people?0 -
Wear what you want, be who you are.0
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thank you for this, it really helps and i shall look into this for sure
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Man this is my first time looking through this forum after signing up...you guys are tough!
I can totally understand where the OP is coming from...if someone is coming from a place where they were always overweight/never checked out by anyone when you first loose the weight and then suddenly 'bam' everyone is staring, ogling, and scanning you over like a piece of meat it's incredibly unnerving and can be uncomfortable! I remember my first month after being at/close to my goal weight and getting ogled at totally threw me off balance. It was just something that had never happened to me before and while I thought I would like it...and I did if I was wearing something nice on purpose...when it happened every single day it got really overwhelming. I started just wearing hoodies and sweats because I just wanted to go back to 'normal' where I could just be me, do my thing, and mind my own business.
So the answer to the question would be... it just takes time to get used to it and tell yourself that it does't really matter what others are doing.
Part of the reason was when I lost all that weight I just felt really raw and vulnerable. So just surround yourself with some true friends who love you for who you are and not what you look like and just give it time. Don't eat over it and just keep busy doing what you need to do. Enjoy your life and your success!! It's something to be proud of!
No need to immediately jump on her case and put her down for feeling that way. It's new, scary, and perfectly normal.
Hi this sums it up, i guess i shoulda worded it better but thanks for this, it really helps out
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The post was about getting pervy looks that made her uncomfortable. It wasn't about why was she getting pervy looks when wearing baggy clothing
dude > she wears baggy clothing to NOT get attention ,, comprehension isn't your strong point DUDEThis is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!
Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?
Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you
From the first post. "a few glances from the opposite sex" is a direct quote. Is a glance a pervy look? I'm just asking because you seem to be an authority on the subject.0 -
Speaking strictly from Professional Knowledge .. No
The post was about getting pervy looks that made her uncomfortable. It wasn't about why was she getting pervy looks when wearing baggy clothing
dude > she wears baggy clothing to NOT get attention ,, comprehension isn't your strong point DUDEThis is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!
Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?
Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you
From the first post. "a few glances from the opposite sex" is a direct quote. Is a glance a pervy look? I'm just asking because you seem to be an authority on the subject.
I'm not an authority ... I just have the capability to comprehend what I read.0 -
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I just have the capability to comprehend what I read.
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Good. Now try to not get so butthurt when women don't appreciate your pervy stares.0 -
I've lost some weight and noticed a few glances from the opposite sex but cannot help but still feel self concious! i cannot stand these looks as i wear baggy clothes and still get these looks. is there a mantra you use or some self help book ..?
They have book on increasing self esteem. MIGHT want to check them out. Seriously. Dress how you want to make you look good for you. Have the confidence not to truly care how strangers view you. Most of all BE HAPPY! :happy:0 -
Act stuck up.
Works for me.0 -
This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!
Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?
Not sure why you're on your soapbox. She explicitly said she wears baggy clothes. FURTHERMORE, I NEVER show off my body. I rarely show cleavage. When I do, I don't mean to. Trust me. I always wear jeans, a tshirt, and usually even a baggy hoodie. Yet. I still get creepy looks (Also, there's a difference between 'natury' looks and pervy ones. BIG difference) and heaven forbid i walk home from anywhere. Last time I did, I actually had a man turn around three times just to chase me down and try to 'holler' at me. If that's not creepy, I don't know what is. Wanna know what I was wearing? A sweater that is three sizes too big and a pair of loose fitting skinny jeans with tennis shoes. Oh yeah. I was so 'sexy', I'm sure.
Also, disunderstand is not a word.0 -
There's a fine line between pervy and appreciative. Take it as a compliment and keep walking.0
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Never go out in public.0
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