need some help from pervy looks!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Maybe the OP, like many women out there, works out and dresses for herself rather than to be leered at? Just because a woman looks good, or wants to look good, doesn't make her automatically the property of men to be treated like a lump of meat. Men aren't animals, after all.

If you think for a minute I'm going to believe that women do all the above so they can look at themselves in a mirror and say, you go girl, looking good. Or, women do all the above to be able to feel good wearing eye candy clothing because it's more comfortable. I don't wear yoga attire but I would think a hoodie and sweat pants would be more comfortable than stretch to fit clothing that magnifies every curved feature of a persons body..

Um, most men I know have no actual appreciation for beauty rituals. They cry and claim "But women look better with a natural face and sweat pants!" this somehow doesn't dissuade most women from wearing make up, doing their hair and wearing whatever they want to wear, does it?

You are so wrong about what actually motivates women who actually have an ounce of confidence. Maybe what you are saying is true about women who are still struggling with their appearance, but for those of us who don't this kind of thinking would hilarious if it wasn't so objectifying.

_Terrapin_

Can we clarify what a "pervy look" is?

I just want to make sure I'm doing it right when I objectify a hot guy.

Right now you are....stop staring at my fluffy pillow!!!!

Trishsimon

It's a compliment if men are looking at you they are obviously attracted to what they see, just enjoy the attention.
If they were wolf whistling or leering at you then that would be a problem, its a confidence booster to have anyone give you a second glance you know they like what they see.
Don't keep wearing baggy clothes show off your figure you will feel better it doesnt mean you have to suddenly switch to mini skirts and low cut tops just wear form fitting elegant outfits and honestly it will change how you feel and look and sure why not get a new hair do also its all about change after all....so just enjoy !

_Terrapin_

I've lost some weight and noticed a few glances from the opposite sex but cannot help but still feel self concious! i cannot stand these looks as i wear baggy clothes and still get these looks. is there a mantra you use or some self help book ..?

Why are you using the term 'pervy' in your thread title? And why do you feel self-conscious about the looks you are getting? I think that recognizing it's you by asking about a self-help book is good. Try seeking a good therapist. The fact that you are wearing baggy clothes and still think you are getting 'pervy' looks is telling. you need some counseling.

Counseling may work, but then again, they stare quite a bit...almost pervy like staring........ewwwww.......(again for those slow on the up take this is sarcasm)

minibandit

I totally understand where the OP is coming from and I disagree with some of the comments here that seem to link losing weight with wanting attention.
I'm losing weight so that I can live life without feeling on the verge of disabled - attention from others is the last thing on my mind right now.

Years ago I lost weight and wasn't prepared for the attention I got. I have to walk down a long road that often has standing traffic on it to do the school run and I had been walking down that road for what seemed like forever.

I lost the weight over time and it got to summer and far from wearing skimpy or revealing clothes I just wore usual summer casual stuff - t shirt and jeans - whatever.

The looks I could cope with even though I was starting to feel a bit 'cringe' about it. But when the comments and calls started occasionally from the stationary cars I felt so embarrassingly self-conscious and uncomfortable - and sometimes my children were with me! I started to dread the school run - so I do know what the OP is talking about.

I'm losing weight again and I'm prepared this time - mostly because I don't ever want to feel this unwell again and comments and stares are far easier to cope with than my physical state is at this moment.

I'm also seeing a dietician this time and she's also a psychologist - she gave me some stuff to take away and read the last time I saw her and one of the areas was preparing yourself for 'attention' of all kinds, including the pervy type. That actually made me feel better as I thought - if it's on her info sheets then I can't be the only person to have ever struggled with this.

And you are not alone either...

dumb_blondes_rock

Can we clarify what a "pervy look" is?

I just want to make sure I'm doing it right when I objectify a hot guy.

My guess is with an awful creepy grin while rubbing their stomach and moaning....but that's just my guess....or they may just be thinking about bacon, in that case the scenario isn't creepy/pervy at all

BigBeaver

I thought most women, post weight loss, with newfound body confidence, wanted to turn heads and be appealing to the opposite sex. Many NSV posts are directly correlated to this. I don't get it. It's basic human DNA. The human male is predisposed to looking for a human female. The brain (most times the tiny one hidden in the jeans) is constatnly searching for the mate to procreate with, as part of basic human desire. Men are finding you attractive and checking you out, upsets you. I promise, if by chance I ever pass you on the street, I will close my eyes.

I think I agree with you in general terms, but for ignoring homosexuality entirely.

Also, just because it's true for most women doesn't mean it's true for the OP. She doesn't need to justify her feelings for them to be nevertheless valid.

True, I did negate or was negligible in mentioning same sex looks or predispositions, which is totally cool with me if that is how you are anyone else rolls. Don't have a problem with it at all. The feelings of the OP are valid and she doesn't have to justify them, you are also correct.

However, more to the point, men will never understand women, because one of us is from Mars and one of us is from Venus, they wrote a book about it. I understand her or anyone else not wanting to be "PERVED" as it maybe, but hell, if a woman or a dude wanna check me out, I nod smile and say thank you. It feels good to be noticed.

HDHogger

This whole argument boils down to what one female has already said but is trying to crawfish on what she meant. If a guy is attractive and gives a look of interest, his look is welcomed. If a guy is unattractive, his look is perverted and considered offensive. That's the facts whether you like it or not and If you don't like it then learn to deal with it. Women make comments on here that could be taken as offensive yet it's overlooked because it just being playful. When a man says something along the same lines it's considered as sexist by MOST women. All women don't feel playful comments are sexist but MOST do.

Fit2Strip

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Douche.
You're operating under this typical b.s. view that every girl gets fit and dresses attractive for your attention. The world doesn't revolve around your or guys in general. Some girls do it for looks, but most do it for themselves. They get fit to be healthy and because they like how THEY feel and how THEY LIKE their body. They wear clothes that make them feel good. It's for themselves. Women are independent entities with their own lives. They don't operate solely for the benefit of men.

There's also a difference between noticing a girl looks beautiful and staring at her in a very lecherous way that makes her uncomfortable.

zyxst

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

Douche.
You're operating under this typical b.s. view that every girl gets fit and dresses attractive for your attention. The world doesn't revolve around your or guys in general. Some girls do it for looks, but most do it for themselves. They get fit to be healthy and because they like how THEY feel and how THEY LIKE their body. They wear clothes that make them feel good. It's for themselves. Women are independent entities with their own lives. They don't operate solely for the benefit of men.

There's also a difference between noticing a girl looks beautiful and staring at her in a very lecherous way that makes her uncomfortable.

This times a million!

randomtai

:huh: :huh: :huh:

How you doin'?!?

devil_in_a_blue_dress

This whole argument boils down to what one female has already said but is trying to crawfish on what she meant. If a guy is attractive and gives a look of interest, his look is welcomed. If a guy is unattractive, his look is perverted and considered offensive. That's the facts whether you like it or not and If you don't like it then learn to deal with it. Women make comments on here that could be taken as offensive yet it's overlooked because it just being playful. When a man says something along the same lines it's considered as sexist by MOST women. All women don't feel playful comments are sexist but MOST do.

Um, no. There are plenty of physically attractive men around here who stay creepy things and most women are like "Oh hell no".

Like you aren't familiar with the "brah" talking about the enchanted forest, are you?

Beckilovespizza

Check out Jenna Marbles on youtube and learn how to do the 'face' when someone looks at u, throw them 'the face' they'll stop perving at u, guaranteed!

Yay! Love that face! Thanks for posting this, I was trying to work out how to post this picture :flowerforyou:

Sparren

I thought this was a wind-up.

Its not??

Oh.

cokekitty

This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

You are wrong for not understanding. Just because a woman wants to lose weight/look sexy/etc, does not mean she's doing it to impress someone else. She could be doing it for herself. Or that could just be how she is.

You're under the misconception that the entire point of a woman's existence is to impress men. It's not.

anewnum1

Just because you want to look good and be healthy does NOT give someone the right to look at you like you are a piece of meat. It's freaking disgusting. You should not have to be ashamed of your body. Try not to let the nasty people affect how you feel about yourself. I know it's hard, but it's about you, not them.

Sparren

I enjoy looking at beautiful people, both male and female. Its what makes us human. Pretty sure it doesn't make me a perv, just someone who appreciates beauty in all shapes and forms.

summertime_girl

Just because you want to look good and be healthy does NOT give someone the right to look at you like you are a piece of meat. It's freaking disgusting. You should not have to be ashamed of your body. Try not to let the nasty people affect how you feel about yourself. I know it's hard, but it's about you, not them.

Not this! C'mon. It's appreciation.

mccindy72

Just because you want to look good and be healthy does NOT give someone the right to look at you like you are a piece of meat. It's freaking disgusting. You should not have to be ashamed of your body. Try not to let the nasty people affect how you feel about yourself. I know it's hard, but it's about you, not them.

Oh, get over yourself. Someone admiring how another person looks is not objectifying her, or him, or treating them like a piece of meat. I look admiringly at people of both sexes all the time. Sometimes it's because of a nice body, sometimes it's because of a pretty face. Sometimes they just have really lovely hair. Physical beauty is just one aspect of a person and it's okay to admire it. I like to look at pretty cars and buildings and flowers too, but it's not meant in a harmful way. Take the compliment or ignore it move on.