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need some help from pervy looks!

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  • Posts: 107
    I retaliate by being dismissive towards guys like that. Or if that fails, an outright *****.

    They soon leave you alone - unless they are really eager of course, then you just have to ignore them.
  • Posts: 2,674 Member
    show previous quotes

    Yeah, I'm gonna sound in on this one. I'm married too, and my husband and I have a slightly different take on it. We both like to look at other people and can appreciate their looks and even talk to each other about it. We're married, not dead, and flirting can be fun. We don't touch other people, or kiss other people, or cheat in any way, but it's nice to notice and be noticed. You should be appreciative that your husband is attractive and appreciated by other women, and that he is still honorable and faithful to you. Let him look and enjoy, and do some looking of your own.
    Thanks:happy: I am appreciative. So taking your counsel to "look and enjoy" would be contrary to that, as you said, you and your husband take a different approach. I do like attractive men and women, however, I take the safest road that would not leave me in another woman's cross-hairs regarding her man!
  • Posts: 2,654 Member
    Am I the only person who is confused about a girl choosing a user name with 'bumbum 69' in it, then coming on the forums to complain about getting attention from men?:huh: :huh:
  • Posts: 2,674 Member
    ^^^I had a similar question!
  • Posts: 474 Member
    An obvious Troll!
  • Posts: 2,393 Member
    An obvious Troll!

    Odd considering she joined in 2012. Trolls typically have a recently opened account.
  • Posts: 8 Member
    Perhaps, with with weight loss, you also need to gain confidence in yourself. If you look good now... and didn't before, of course you are self-conscious. It is normal, you are not used to it.

    Enjoy the attention, but if it is difficult, seek advice from a professional. The anxiety is not worth it and worst case you get scared and stop losing weight and feeling better.
  • Posts: 346 Member
    "Pervy" derives from the word "perverse" but that makes no sense whatsoever in this context.

    Nature made men and women to be attracted to each other in order to reproduce and maintain the species. That is a fundamental part of biology. Any species that does not reproduce becomes extinct.

    So if a man looks at a women as a potential reproduction partner, that is the exact opposite of perverse. It is in fact completely natural.

    So OP's complaint, as near as I can tell, is that men are NOT perverse at all. Rather men look at her as a potential reproduction mate, exactly as nature intended. Perhaps these should be called "natury looks" instead of pervy looks.
  • Posts: 2,674 Member
    .Perhaps these should be called "natury looks" instead of pervy looks.
    I would not let a man use this as an excuse to cross my boundaries.
  • Posts: 474 Member
    show previous quotes

    Odd considering she joined in 2012. Trolls typically have a recently opened account.

    Good point! Really thought I was on to somethin...LOL
  • Posts: 6,198 Member
    I remembered this after reading the thread.
    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/10/29/body-shape-objectification-technology/3287287/

    Its human nature.
  • Posts: 416 Member
    This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

    Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

    Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you.
  • Posts: 344 Member
    I think if all looks make you uneasy that it's probably you and a deep level of self-doubt. And some people are just creeps. You deserve to feel good about yourself :)
  • Posts: 764
    show previous quotes

    Dude..learn how to read. She doesn't wear sexy clothes to get attention. She wears baggy clothes. Reading comprehension>you
    dude > she wears baggy clothing to NOT get attention ,, comprehension isn't your strong point DUDE
  • Posts: 764
    show previous quotes
    dude > she wears baggy clothing to NOT get attention ,, comprehension isn't your strong point DUDE
    The post was about getting pervy looks that made her uncomfortable. It wasn't about why was she getting pervy looks when wearing baggy clothing
  • Posts: 173 Member
    lol at the people in here who think the only reason anyone loses weight is to look better to the opposite sex
  • Posts: 764
    lol at the people in here who think the only reason anyone loses weight is to look better to the opposite sex
    If you've followed the post you would know the consensus is people want to look good to attract the opposite sex
  • Posts: 173 Member
    and? clearly op is not one of those people?
  • Posts: 764
    and? clearly op is not one of those people?
    It was agreed by the majority she had confidence issues
  • Posts: 47 Member
    Wear what you want, be who you are.
  • Posts: 33 Member
    thank you for this, it really helps and i shall look into this for sure ;)
  • Posts: 33 Member
    Man this is my first time looking through this forum after signing up...you guys are tough! :/


    I can totally understand where the OP is coming from...if someone is coming from a place where they were always overweight/never checked out by anyone when you first loose the weight and then suddenly 'bam' everyone is staring, ogling, and scanning you over like a piece of meat it's incredibly unnerving and can be uncomfortable! I remember my first month after being at/close to my goal weight and getting ogled at totally threw me off balance. It was just something that had never happened to me before and while I thought I would like it...and I did if I was wearing something nice on purpose...when it happened every single day it got really overwhelming. I started just wearing hoodies and sweats because I just wanted to go back to 'normal' where I could just be me, do my thing, and mind my own business.

    So the answer to the question would be... it just takes time to get used to it and tell yourself that it does't really matter what others are doing.

    Part of the reason was when I lost all that weight I just felt really raw and vulnerable. So just surround yourself with some true friends who love you for who you are and not what you look like and just give it time. Don't eat over it and just keep busy doing what you need to do. Enjoy your life and your success!! It's something to be proud of! :D

    No need to immediately jump on her case and put her down for feeling that way. It's new, scary, and perfectly normal.

    Hi this sums it up, i guess i shoulda worded it better but thanks for this, it really helps out
    k
  • Posts: 416 Member
    show previous quotes
    The post was about getting pervy looks that made her uncomfortable. It wasn't about why was she getting pervy looks when wearing baggy clothing

    From the first post. "a few glances from the opposite sex" is a direct quote. Is a glance a pervy look? I'm just asking because you seem to be an authority on the subject.
  • Posts: 764
    show previous quotes

    From the first post. "a few glances from the opposite sex" is a direct quote. Is a glance a pervy look? I'm just asking because you seem to be an authority on the subject.
    Speaking strictly from Professional Knowledge .. No

    I'm not an authority ... I just have the capability to comprehend what I read.
  • Posts: 416 Member
    [/quote]
    I just have the capability to comprehend what I read.
    [/quote]

    Good. Now try to not get so butthurt when women don't appreciate your pervy stares.
  • Posts: 1,139 Member
    I've lost some weight and noticed a few glances from the opposite sex but cannot help but still feel self concious! i cannot stand these looks as i wear baggy clothes and still get these looks. is there a mantra you use or some self help book ..?

    They have book on increasing self esteem. MIGHT want to check them out. Seriously. Dress how you want to make you look good for you. Have the confidence not to truly care how strangers view you. Most of all BE HAPPY! :happy:
  • Posts: 807 Member
    Act stuck up.

    Works for me.
  • Posts: 807 Member
    This is what I don't understand about women. You exercise and train to look sexy, drss sexy, show cleavage and then complain about getting "PERVY LOOKS" I disunderstand the whole concept of wanting to look, dress and feel sexy only to have guys NOT look at you. Help me understand!

    Am I wrong for not understanding or am I misunderstanding what kind of help the OP is asking for?

    Not sure why you're on your soapbox. She explicitly said she wears baggy clothes. FURTHERMORE, I NEVER show off my body. I rarely show cleavage. When I do, I don't mean to. Trust me. I always wear jeans, a tshirt, and usually even a baggy hoodie. Yet. I still get creepy looks (Also, there's a difference between 'natury' looks and pervy ones. BIG difference) and heaven forbid i walk home from anywhere. Last time I did, I actually had a man turn around three times just to chase me down and try to 'holler' at me. If that's not creepy, I don't know what is. Wanna know what I was wearing? A sweater that is three sizes too big and a pair of loose fitting skinny jeans with tennis shoes. Oh yeah. I was so 'sexy', I'm sure.

    Also, disunderstand is not a word.
  • Posts: 653 Member
    There's a fine line between pervy and appreciative. Take it as a compliment and keep walking.
  • Posts: 1,934 Member
    Never go out in public.
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