Boyfriend & Boobies

MrsPong

When I was working out/cutting calories I went from a 38D to a 32B. Lost about 45lbs then.

This time I have some "mystery GI illness" causing me to lose weight/not allowing me to workout. I've lost a few inches around my bust, but the cup is either the same or slight difference. 34lbs lost right now. (I was expecting to lose them...and their still here!)

stealthq

I really love how there is one group of women saying that If their man became unattractive (physically or personality/behavior wise) to them, through circumstances within his control (like over eating, laziness and a bad attitude) and he had no intention of correcting these behaviors - they might leave him. They assume it is because of reasons he has control over.

Then there is a second group of women who counter that by saying CANCER, CRIPPLING ACCIDENT, ED!!!!! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE HIM BECAUSE OF THAT! because they assume that the only reason a person would get fat is because of reasons they have no control over.

My husband is overweight through his own overeating and lack of willpower. And no, I'd never leave him for it. He has control over it. I still love him anyway.

WAIT - STOP - I wanna talk about me again!! I have no point in quoting this other than to announce to everyone that although im in that first group of women that might leave their husband for engaging in unhealthy behavior he can control, but wont - I still wouldnt leave him! SO AM BETTER THAN THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE GROUP!!! YAY!!! 10 HEAVEN POINTS FOR ME!!!!

Because the point was about the leaving/not leaving part - not about the control/cant control part!!!

wait - so maybe that's 15 heaven points for me!

But he has a lack of willpower yet has control over it? :huh:

They meant he is lacking the willpower to do what is necessary to lose the weight, but he has control over the decision to lose the weight or not. His choice so far is to stay overweight.

ETA: for clarity

EricJonrosh

"Arrangement," key word. It's not a relationship but a contract, and if the other person starts doing something you don't like you can be released. Not to be confused with love. Oh, don't let them drag you down, it is all about you after all. And walking away because something became no longer attractive is the definition of shallow.

I was -- and still am -- physically attracted to my husband. It's one of the reasons I went out on a date with him. Yes, he's funny, fun to be with, my best friend but I was also attracted to him. If I wasn't than we would never have gone out on a date and I would never have married him. With that said yes, if he gained a huge amount of weight, to the point where I was no longer physically attracted to him then why should I stay? If the sex stops and our relationship has turned into more of a room mate type situation then why should I put up with it? If the thought of having sex with him disgusts me because I am no longer attracted to him why is that a bad thing? Would it be better if I stepped outside the relationship to fulfill my needs elsewhere?

If the fact that I could never be with someone that I am not also physically attracted to makes me shallow than so be it.

I honestly don't understand how and why people can judge someone elses choice or their relationship when they don't even know the people.

And you know what? Marriage IS contract. You are mutually agreeing to certain things and with any contract if one person does not uphold the agreement than that contract can be broken.

"Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws."

If it was about love you might have mentioned the word one time in your comment...Instead there are 12 "I's" 3 "my's" and 2 "me's"

You have something, no argument there, but it sounds more like a conditional arrangement based on keeping you satisfied at all times.

mccindy72

I dislike the idea that love and affection is conditional on the size of the body.

Yeah, me too. Or looks or anything else like that. Guess the idea that I'm not shallow makes me a bad person?

mrsroseblack

I think it's pathetic that people are so shallow. It disgusts me.

My husband wants me to be healthy and look nice. He doesn't mind the "damage" that's been done to me through pregnancy and breastfeeding his two children. It's part of life. We married until death do us part, sickness and health, all that stuff.

I'm all for being healthy and strong and looking your best but some of these shallow comments make me ill. People are people and everyone deserves to be loved.. and love themselves as well.

QuietBloom

If it was about love you might have mentioned the word one time in your comment...Instead there are 12 "I's" 3 "my's" and 2 "me's"

You have something, no argument there, but it sounds more like a conditional arrangement based on keeping you satisfied at all times.

:drinker:

mteague277

I've lost a lot of weight and my boobs are still big. Even at my absolutely tiniest I was still a D cup. It all depends on your body. When you have more energy, stamina, and your libido has increased, I don't think he will mind as much if they do get smaller.

BinaryPulsar

I think it's pathetic that people are so shallow. It disgusts me.

My husband wants me to be healthy and look nice. He doesn't mind the "damage" that's been done to me through pregnancy and breastfeeding his two children. It's part of life. We married until death do us part, sickness and health, all that stuff.

I'm all for being healthy and strong and looking your best but some of these shallow comments make me ill. People are people and everyone deserves to be loved.. and love themselves as well.

Yeah, it's not "damage". It's living life (and giving life). It's part of health. Of course life is always going to involve growing and changing.

The physicality is one aspect, but the deeper, inner aspects is where the love and continued relationship and connection all stems from. And that love extends to the physical as well (enjoying that aspect does not negate the other aspects). It's a whole.

And sickness is something everyone must face with courage together.

Everyone does deserve to be loved by their partner, to enjoy that, and to love themselves. That is true!

ModernNerd

I've only skimmed this, ain't nobody got time to read through 10 pages of this hooplah, but my only comment is why is a small chest seen as such a death sentence? Shucks I'm small chested and sure, I can't say I wouldn't be pleased if I woke up tomorrow morning with big ole boobies but hey this is how I'm built and I'm perfectly happy with that. I've never had an issue with dating or finding folks who are attracted to me. Moral of the story: life does indeed go on if you're small chested.

Oh and happy Hump Day Eve everyone :flowerforyou:

BinaryPulsar

I've only skimmed this, ain't nobody got time to read through 10 pages of this hooplah, but my only comment is why is a small chest seen as such a death sentence? Shucks I'm small chested and sure, I can't say I wouldn't be pleased if I woke up tomorrow morning with big ole boobies but hey this is how I'm built and I'm perfectly happy with that. I've never had an issue with dating or finding folks who are attracted to me. Moral of the story: life does indeed go on if you're small chested.

Oh and happy Hump Day Eve everyone :flowerforyou:

I'm small too. Happy in life and with my partner.

EricMurano

Big boobs are great but I believe when a woman loses weight the boobs do get smaller but they suit the smaller frame.

He shouldn't worry so much.

MyChocolateDiet

Boobies.

20Grit

Meh...Bewbs.

sizzle74

He can get you a boob job if you lose them.

MyChocolateDiet

All this hub bub over a boyfriend. Wake me when he becomes a husband who's putting a roof over her head, a ring on her finger, and babies in the crib. Then my opinion may form further than just to say boobies.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

OP, you are still very young. Your boyfriend is a teen as well. As teenage relationships go, this one seems to be going well enough.

As for boobs, you're 18. You may not have even fully developed your breasts yet. A lot of women don't until they're in their 20s.

Concentrate on weight loss, don't worry about the boobs. I think you're dwelling on something that your boyfriend really doesn't care as much about as you think.

As for the rest, everyone's relationship is personal business, so why do we all care how someone else does it? There's no right way, and there's no wrong way. I couldn't care less whether the vows are conditions or the opposite of conditions, traditional or non-traditional, or whether someone is shallow or deeper than the Marianas Trench. Depth of character is an internal thing. One person's deep is another person's sanctimonious. And one person's shallow is another person's pragmatic.

just_Jennie1

As for the rest, everyone's relationship is personal business, so why do we all care how someone else does it? There's no right way, and there's no wrong way. I couldn't care less whether the vows are conditions or the opposite of conditions, traditional or non-traditional, or whether someone is shallow or deeper than the Marianas Trench. Depth of character is an internal thing. One person's deep is another person's sanctimonious. And one person's shallow is another person's pragmatic.

Well said.

HawaiianGoddess

Hi...for me I lose boobage... every 10 its half cup.... everyones different....you can always get enhanced after you drop your weight:)

SezxyStef

Don't traditional wedding vows state "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health". I don't remember there being a part about it's all for naught if you get fat.

My husband and I didn't have those vows..we wrote our own...no where did I say any of that archaic crap.

but in all fairness no need to actually stop living with your best friend if you aren't attracted anymore or something happens...but just have the discussion and find another person to fill those needs as long as your partner doesn't care....

We do that now to a degree...some like sports so they go with others to fill the need to watch sports...etc etc...

Problem solved...:drinker:

ETA: we don't believe in divorce to be frank so that's not an option for me but that being said if he gets obese I might option the other part...:laugh:

BinaryPulsar

OP, you are still very young. Your boyfriend is a teen as well. As teenage relationships go, this one seems to be going well enough.

As for boobs, you're 18. You may not have even fully developed your breasts yet. A lot of women don't until they're in their 20s.

Concentrate on weight loss, don't worry about the boobs. I think you're dwelling on something that your boyfriend really doesn't care as much about as you think.

As for the rest, everyone's relationship is personal business, so why do we all care how someone else does it? There's no right way, and there's no wrong way. I couldn't care less whether the vows are conditions or the opposite of conditions, traditional or non-traditional, or whether someone is shallow or deeper than the Marianas Trench. Depth of character is an internal thing. One person's deep is another person's sanctimonious. And one person's shallow is another person's pragmatic.

Yeah, this is all very well said.