Boyfriend & Boobies

JoRocka

Everyone I have EVER dated- I'm out of their scale- there is no question they were dating "up"

I'm not saying I bust my *kitten* for THEM- but they get to reap the rewards just as much as I do. If this is a partnership- why am I the one busting my *kitten* in the "looking good" department- and your sitting over there eating cake and ice cream all day?

And right there is the essence of why I have an issue with the things you and others have posted.

Someone's worth is not wrapped up in looks. If that is what makes someone better than someone else, I'd like to leave this world. Do you really think some male model's contribution to the world and worth as a human being is more than Bill Nye or Stephen Hawking just because the model is prettier?

They were dating "up" because you're better looking than them? The most important thing a person can contribute to a relationship is a good physique?

again- you're making it sound like that's the ONLY aspect of my relationships and how I base them. It's not- never has- and never will be- but I'd be lying if I said it didn't matter to me. I never said the most important thing a person can contribute in a relationship is a good physique... you're putting words in my mouth. and over emphasizing it- I"m still talking about THAT aspect because you appear to refuse to realize it's part of a relationship and often a significant one.

You're also kidding yourself if you think there isn't actually a subliminal hierarchy.

It's often over looked by women- but men rarely over look it.

Everyone fits somewhere in there. Is it extremely relevant to day to day life? absolutely not. But that doesn't mean it isn't a reality.

And ultimately- I"m not going to change your mind if you think that makes me shallow-and I also won't lose any sleep at night if you think I am shallow- I do not wrap my self worth and self esteem up and value into what some internet person says/thinks about me. I'm still awesome- fabulous and fierce- and I expect my partner to be fabulous as well. Maybe not all the time- because fabulous is hard work- difficult to maintain 24/7- but the effort should be there- and no- I"m not just talking about looks.

Mediocrity is not acceptable. it isn't acceptable behavior on my behalf- nor his- or my friends. It's a mentality- harder stronger faster. Be the best you can be. at all things that you do. Do not accept floating through in life as a passenger. Self improvement. Says a lot about someone if they are a passenger in their life- and that's not the kind of person I want around me- at all. Ever.

And wanting to be attracted to my mate doesn't make me shallow- it makes me human. How dare I!!! want to think my significant other is hot and make me want to have lustful crazy sex!!! THE SHAME!!! THE HORROR.

rml_16

Oh my goodness how I love irony.

sarapopefitness

I went from a 36B down maybe a 32B. I don't have much left up there, but it's totally worth it for the way the rest of my bod looks (plus despite getting smaller, they got perkier!). Also, my boyfriend could care less. Boobs are boobs.

Summer4677

Maybe some of the posters on here should start their own group to resolve their personal issues elsewhere. To the OP, so far mine haven't changed much, but they weren't huge (b/c) to begin with!

just_Jennie1

Everyone I have EVER dated- I'm out of their scale- there is no question they were dating "up"

I'm not saying I bust my *kitten* for THEM- but they get to reap the rewards just as much as I do. If this is a partnership- why am I the one busting my *kitten* in the "looking good" department- and your sitting over there eating cake and ice cream all day?

And right there is the essence of why I have an issue with the things you and others have posted.

Someone's worth is not wrapped up in looks. If that is what makes someone better than someone else, I'd like to leave this world. Do you really think some male model's contribution to the world and worth as a human being is more than Bill Nye or Stephen Hawking just because the model is prettier?

They were dating "up" because you're better looking than them? The most important thing a person can contribute to a relationship is a good physique?

again- you're making it sound like that's the ONLY aspect of my relationships and how I base them. It's not- never has- and never will be- but I'd be lying if I said it didn't matter to me. I never said the most important thing a person can contribute in a relationship is a good physique... you're putting words in my mouth. and over emphasizing it- I"m still talking about THAT aspect because you appear to refuse to realize it's part of a relationship and often a significant one.

You're also kidding yourself if you think there isn't actually a subliminal hierarchy.

It's often over looked by women- but men rarely over look it.

Everyone fits somewhere in there. Is it extremely relevant to day to day life? absolutely not. But that doesn't mean it isn't a reality.

And ultimately- I"m not going to change your mind if you think that makes me shallow-and I also won't lose any sleep at night if you think I am shallow- I do not wrap my self worth and self esteem up and value into what some internet person says/thinks about me. I'm still awesome- fabulous and fierce- and I expect my partner to be fabulous as well. Maybe not all the time- because fabulous is hard work- difficult to maintain 24/7- but the effort should be there- and no- I"m not just talking about looks.

Mediocrity is not acceptable. it isn't acceptable behavior on my behalf- nor his- or my friends. It's a mentality- harder stronger faster. Be the best you can be. at all things that you do. Do not accept floating through in life as a passenger. Self improvement. Says a lot about someone if they are a passenger in their life- and that's not the kind of person I want around me- at all. Ever.

And wanting to be attracted to my mate doesn't make me shallow- it makes me human. How dare I!!! want to think my significant other is hot and make me want to have lustful crazy sex!!! THE SHAME!!! THE HORROR.

Jo, it's pointless. It really is. I'm completely and totally with you but it's just not worth the argument any longer. No one knows your relationship or my relationship with our SO's. Someone pointed out that I never said I loved him in one of my posts and I'm really not sure what that had to do with the point I was trying to make. Of course I love him and he loves me. We wouldn't have gotten married if there wasn't love AND an attraction. But apparently because I feel the need to be physically attracted to my mate (and any one else for that matter) it equates to my not loving someone and being shallow. Heck I know a couple who want to renew their vows and put in a 'fat' clause. :laugh:

Your views don't equal other views and apparently everyone knows what sort of relationship you have with your SO so obviously you're wrong and shallow and you don't love him.

Seriously. Just throw in the towel because it's just. not. worth. it.

rml_16

Your views don't equal other views and apparently everyone knows what sort of relationship you have with your SO so obviously you're wrong and shallow and you don't love him.

We know what she posted in this thread. Every response has been directly to what she herself has said. We aren't guessing at what kind of relationship she has. We're responding to what she has actually said, which is that she would, no questions asked, leave her boyfriend if he got fat.

And then went on to say some very nasty things about his current appearance and her thoughts about it.

MVY_

Why is it that I find some of the views so shallow...

QuietBloom

Well no it's not everything- but you can't dismiss it. I've never dated anyone who was truly on the "hot" scale. Everyone I have EVER dated- I'm out of their scale- there is no question they were dating "up" and I dont' say that to be exceptionally vain- but I am well aware of who I was dating and I could have had significantly more attractive partners. But most of those guys- are douchecanoes.

I MUST have someone who makes me laugh. That is more important to me than almost anything. But after a 3 month break up- and having to deal with people who were more on equal footing- I was like wtf do people date? these people are awful.

So no- it is not everything- but there has to be some sort of physical attraction. And to me- being over weight- it's not attractive. at all- it's a complete an utter turn off. And my other pet peeve is- if you you (significant other) love my body- and you say I'm amazing and sexy and all these things- what in the world makes you think I dont' appreciate those same qualities?

I'm not saying I bust my *kitten* for THEM- but they get to reap the rewards just as much as I do. If this is a partnership- why am I the one busting my *kitten* in the "looking good" department- and your sitting over there eating cake and ice cream all day?

I just think it's really disrespectful to be a partner who doesn't care what your partner thinks.

That's disgusting to me in so many ways.

I think it's an extreme example of a guide line to follow. I wouldn't sue someone over that- but I'd be pissed- that's a lot of lying.

Well, this just confirmed everything I have suspected based on what you originally wrote. So, thanks for that. :drinker:

bachampion04

Coming from a dude's perspective...a lot of time when we say that doesn't mean that if you lose it we will leave you. Most times we just talking or tryng to be funny. He obviously cares about you a lot so it wouldn't mean a thing to him if you "lost" them but not sure what size you are because im not trying to filter through 11 pages of comments but you wont lost that much size really if any. If your body was made to have them they will stay

I have many friend girls and who lost weight and they lost it everywhere but they chest and butt. All depends on what your body was always meant to look like.

But I can relate with your dude I love my girl for who she is not for her assets. She is just like you with the whole stomach cuddle thing...to me its cute but to each its own right? :P

1pandabear

Adorable blue footed Boobie bird!

1pandabear

right on Summer

Fragilebird24

Thank you everyone for you advice and comments! This reassured me that everyone is built differently. I suppose I will just have to see what happens! I know my boyfriend will be fine either way. & honestly it is more important for me to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm sure he won't be complaining when I'm rocking a bikini this Summer!