Action offends the inactive

MyChocolateDiet

Those of you who don't have anyone in your life that seems offended when you say 'no' to something or try to judge how you eat, why you eat, what you eat, or any of that --- you're probably pretty lucky.

It's not luck, it's a matter of filtering out useless idiots so that they never become a part of my life.

+1
And that is a skill!

LiftAllThePizzas

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

MyChocolateDiet

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

Oh my gee. Classic.

LiftAllThePizzas

Wtf ever?! I'm from the south. I guess, I'm just totally rude...or your parents didn't give you any useful "home-training," bless your heart.

Look - not trying to start a fight here. But the woman walked away with hurt feelings, so something in that exchange went wrong. Not saying you can please everybody all the time, and nor should you try. But hurt feelings over a cookie? With a co-worker? On her birthday? Really, is worth it? I am working out, eating right, and doing my best to get healthy. But I'm not so overzealous that I would alienate people as a result. My point was simply that instead of rudely hurting her feelings, find SOME other way to decline the cookie. ANY other way. Either that, or just eat the BITE of cookie.

It's called manners. Sticking up for yourself is okay. Purposefully offending someone in the process is not. I think momma did just fine, thank you.

I didn't purposely offend her. You assume too much. She's my friend and I told her, "No. Thank you." She was like, "But they're so good. You have to try some." I told her that I was holding out for cake. She pouted. I said, "If it's THAT important to you, I'll eat a bite." She grinned.

Stop assuming things.

So the meat was for your cat?

BinaryPulsar

Those of you who don't have anyone in your life that seems offended when you say 'no' to something or try to judge how you eat, why you eat, what you eat, or any of that --- you're probably pretty lucky.

It's not luck, it's a matter of filtering out useless idiots so that they never become a part of my life.

+1
And that is a skill!

+++

If people were going to guilt trip me over things like that, my time with them would limited to the bare minimum.

MyChocolateDiet

Wtf ever?! I'm from the south. I guess, I'm just totally rude...or your parents didn't give you any useful "home-training," bless your heart.

Look - not trying to start a fight here. But the woman walked away with hurt feelings, so something in that exchange went wrong. Not saying you can please everybody all the time, and nor should you try. But hurt feelings over a cookie? With a co-worker? On her birthday? Really, is worth it? I am working out, eating right, and doing my best to get healthy. But I'm not so overzealous that I would alienate people as a result. My point was simply that instead of rudely hurting her feelings, find SOME other way to decline the cookie. ANY other way. Either that, or just eat the BITE of cookie.

It's called manners. Sticking up for yourself is okay. Purposefully offending someone in the process is not. I think momma did just fine, thank you.

I didn't purposely offend her. You assume too much. She's my friend and I told her, "No. Thank you." She was like, "But they're so good. You have to try some." I told her that I was holding out for cake. She pouted. I said, "If it's THAT important to you, I'll eat a bite." She grinned.

Stop assuming things.

So the meat was for your cat?

You said meat, so now I get to post this one.

"Oh, Keanu you must be joking"...



"No, I'm not, it really is this big."

WhiteRabbit1313

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.

cardinalsfootball

I think there is a difference between sabotaging you and not supporting you the way you feel you should be supported.

For example, a significant other may not like the fact that they feel they hardly see you because 1/2 of your freetime is now spent at the gym.

Or they may resent the fact that despite them not having to lose weight, the entire family has to change their diet.

Or they may be upset because the kids are upset because "mommy or daddy" is gone during the evening when they want to spend time with them.

I think in general people are less inclined to want to actively sabotage you, as much as just being somewhat selfish, like most of us are, in terms of how your activity is "negatively" affecting them.

MyChocolateDiet

Why would you want the mindset of... people hate me, they want to see me fail, they're trying to ACTIVELY make me fail, they're just jealous, as a mindset to fuel your motivation?

Because it supports a worldview with one's self at the center of the universe.

WhiteRabbit1313

I think there is a difference between sabotaging you and not supporting you the way you feel you should be supported.

For example, a significant other may not like the fact that they feel they hardly see you because 1/2 of your freetime is now spent at the gym.

Or they may resent the fact that despite them not having to lose weight, the entire family has to change their diet.

Or they may be upset because the kids are upset because "mommy or daddy" is gone during the evening when they want to spend time with them.

I think in general people are less inclined to want to actively sabotage you, as much as just being somewhat selfish, like most of us are, in terms of how your activity is "negatively" affecting them.

^^Agreed

2Dozen

So true. I never let people "infect" me, I "affect" them!

cmriverside

:indifferent:

MyChocolateDiet

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.

I didn't read that as savoring or dance/chanting "I was right". I read that as further proof of his point. So that it may become obvious. Sometimes when one's reality is being challenged it takes a LOT of evidence for it to be accepted. And it's not always easy to see, nor without bumps in the road.

WhiteRabbit1313

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.

I didn't read that as savoring or dance/chanting "I was right". I read that as further proof of his point. So that it may become obvious. Sometimes when one's reality is being challenged it takes a LOT of evidence for it to be accepted. And it's not always easy to see, nor without bumps in the road.

Yes, and you've added so much constructive wisdom to this thread, also. Thanks for that.

MyChocolateDiet

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.

I didn't read that as savoring or dance/chanting "I was right". I read that as further proof of his point. So that it may become obvious. Sometimes when one's reality is being challenged it takes a LOT of evidence for it to be accepted. And it's not always easy to see, nor without bumps in the road.

Yes, and you've added so much constructive wisdom to this thread, also. Thanks for that.

Aw, You're welcome. :blushing:



p.s. I knew you were harshing but it's all good.

Cranquistador

But, I suspect comments like your are a latent jab at "personal responsibility" more than having to do with the people you surround yourself with. I agree with personal responsibility. We should all take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, the day that I decided to believe as the OP does, was the very same day that I took responsibility for myself and didn't let others stand in the way of my weight loss efforts.

I just adore it when people pretend like they've always been perfect, which makes me wonder why they came HERE, in the first place? I mean, most of us come to MFP because we need help, or support, or both. Just sayin'...

No I think it's more like a jab at the mentality that, "I am so important that everyone's behavior is all about me."

At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.

The world IS not black and white.

Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.

Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.

I didn't read that as savoring or dance/chanting "I was right". I read that as further proof of his point. So that it may become obvious. Sometimes when one's reality is being challenged it takes a LOT of evidence for it to be accepted. And it's not always easy to see, nor without bumps in the road.

Yes, and you've added so much constructive wisdom to this thread, also. Thanks for that.

Are you the OP?

Mother_Superior

Personally, my biggest anger initiated motivation doesn't begin with the actions of others. It begins with my actions. It doesn't start with proving myself better than other people who may or may not be sabotaging me. It starts with proving myself better than the other me that is definitely out to sabotage me. I'm not all that concerned with how my action with respect to my diet and exercise may or may not others. I expect others to be mature enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm much more concerned with how my action offends my nature to be inactive. I'm really the only one that I'm trying to prove anything to about myself, because I'm the one who made myself 408 pounds. That's the guy I give the finger too with my lifestyle.

BinaryPulsar

Personally, my biggest anger initiated motivation doesn't begin with the actions of others. It begins with my actions. It doesn't start with proving myself better than other people who may or may not be sabotaging me. It starts with proving myself better than the other me that is definitely out to sabotage me. I'm not all that concerned with how my action with respect to my diet and exercise may or may not others. I expect others to be mature enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm much more concerned with how my action offends my nature to be inactive. I'm really the only one that I'm trying to prove anything to about myself, because I'm the one who made myself 408 pounds. That's the guy I give the finger too with my lifestyle.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

sjohnny

Personally, my biggest anger initiated motivation doesn't begin with the actions of others. It begins with my actions. It doesn't start with proving myself better than other people who may or may not be sabotaging me. It starts with proving myself better than the other me that is definitely out to sabotage me. I'm not all that concerned with how my action with respect to my diet and exercise may or may not others. I expect others to be mature enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm much more concerned with how my action offends my nature to be inactive. I'm really the only one that I'm trying to prove anything to about myself, because I'm the one who made myself 408 pounds. That's the guy I give the finger too with my lifestyle.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

What she said!

sjohnny