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Action offends the inactive
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+1It's not luck, it's a matter of filtering out useless idiots so that they never become a part of my life.
And that is a skill!0 -
Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.
At 35 years old, I have a healthy understanding that the world doesn't revolve around me. I'm also not so naïve that I believe everyone has my best interest at heart, either. I CAN tell the difference between, "I worked hard on this and want to share it with you" and "some random salesperson brought in these donuts and I need you to eat them with me so I don't feel so bad about my indulgences." Difference.
The world IS not black and white.0 -
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So the meat was for your cat?
I didn't purposely offend her. You assume too much. She's my friend and I told her, "No. Thank you." She was like, "But they're so good. You have to try some." I told her that I was holding out for cake. She pouted. I said, "If it's THAT important to you, I'll eat a bite." She grinned.
Stop assuming things.0 -
+1
And that is a skill!
+++
If people were going to guilt trip me over things like that, my time with them would limited to the bare minimum.0 -
So the meat was for your cat?
You said meat, so now I get to post this one.
"Oh, Keanu you must be joking"...
"No, I'm not, it really is this big."0 -
Ironically, you seem to think that my post was about you.
Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.0 -
I think there is a difference between sabotaging you and not supporting you the way you feel you should be supported.
For example, a significant other may not like the fact that they feel they hardly see you because 1/2 of your freetime is now spent at the gym.
Or they may resent the fact that despite them not having to lose weight, the entire family has to change their diet.
Or they may be upset because the kids are upset because "mommy or daddy" is gone during the evening when they want to spend time with them.
I think in general people are less inclined to want to actively sabotage you, as much as just being somewhat selfish, like most of us are, in terms of how your activity is "negatively" affecting them.0 -
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I think there is a difference between sabotaging you and not supporting you the way you feel you should be supported.
For example, a significant other may not like the fact that they feel they hardly see you because 1/2 of your freetime is now spent at the gym.
Or they may resent the fact that despite them not having to lose weight, the entire family has to change their diet.
Or they may be upset because the kids are upset because "mommy or daddy" is gone during the evening when they want to spend time with them.
I think in general people are less inclined to want to actively sabotage you, as much as just being somewhat selfish, like most of us are, in terms of how your activity is "negatively" affecting them.
^^Agreed0 -
So true. I never let people "infect" me, I "affect" them!0
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:indifferent:0
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Enjoying being the "righterest MFPer"? That's not ego at all.
I didn't read that as savoring or dance/chanting "I was right". I read that as further proof of his point. So that it may become obvious. Sometimes when one's reality is being challenged it takes a LOT of evidence for it to be accepted. And it's not always easy to see, nor without bumps in the road.0 -
I didn't read that as savoring or dance/chanting "I was right". I read that as further proof of his point. So that it may become obvious. Sometimes when one's reality is being challenged it takes a LOT of evidence for it to be accepted. And it's not always easy to see, nor without bumps in the road.
Yes, and you've added so much constructive wisdom to this thread, also. Thanks for that.0 -
Yes, and you've added so much constructive wisdom to this thread, also. Thanks for that.
Aw, You're welcome. :blushing:
p.s. I knew you were harshing but it's all good.0 -
Are you the OP?
Yes, and you've added so much constructive wisdom to this thread, also. Thanks for that.0 -
Personally, my biggest anger initiated motivation doesn't begin with the actions of others. It begins with my actions. It doesn't start with proving myself better than other people who may or may not be sabotaging me. It starts with proving myself better than the other me that is definitely out to sabotage me. I'm not all that concerned with how my action with respect to my diet and exercise may or may not others. I expect others to be mature enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm much more concerned with how my action offends my nature to be inactive. I'm really the only one that I'm trying to prove anything to about myself, because I'm the one who made myself 408 pounds. That's the guy I give the finger too with my lifestyle.0
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Personally, my biggest anger initiated motivation doesn't begin with the actions of others. It begins with my actions. It doesn't start with proving myself better than other people who may or may not be sabotaging me. It starts with proving myself better than the other me that is definitely out to sabotage me. I'm not all that concerned with how my action with respect to my diet and exercise may or may not others. I expect others to be mature enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm much more concerned with how my action offends my nature to be inactive. I'm really the only one that I'm trying to prove anything to about myself, because I'm the one who made myself 408 pounds. That's the guy I give the finger too with my lifestyle.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
What she said!0 -
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LOL! Crabs!0 -
What she said!
^^ Yes, this. Very much this.
Either I'm an anomaly or am extremely "lucky" or have over the years surrounded myself with amazing people who are as confident in themselves as they are in me and I am in myself but I haven't had the sabotage experience at all. Everyone around me has been incredibly supportive, from my husband, family, friends and colleagues all the way down to the random person I meet on the street every day on my way to work.
An observation though, some people seem to feel that because they are eating 'healthy' the people around them shouldn't eat 'unhealthy' foods in front of them, and this is what can really get people's nose out of joint. I don't care what anyone else eats or does, I only care what I eat and do. I don't 'preach' to anyone or try to 'convert' them. Everyone has the right to live as they want to live and it's none of my business. You can sit there and eat a pizza in front of me but I'll have my salad. Yes, pizza is yummy but I just don't want any.0 -
My sister is usually the one who mocks... But then again she stands at 5'1 n 278 and is already diabetic.... Me I am doing my own thing and doing it because I want health for myself, I love her to pieces and of course don't take what she says at heart, I simply silently pray that some day she too be inspired to take a healthier route.
As far as friends, I surround myself with like minded peeps, no prob. there. The only one who can sabotage our progress is ourselves.0 -
You know what is truly fascinating about this thread? The friends I have here and the answers they give - it seems we have the common demographic of not choosing to be at war with the world around us. I like that.
Eta: lol @crabs0 -
I was telling my husband that my boss is trying to lose weight. He asked if I had told her about what I do to keep track of mine. I said no. If she ever asks me for advise, than sure. But I don't talk about myself all that much to others. Everyone knows I head out for a run at noon. I pretty much do my thing and don't give much thought to it. I do like to skip a run at least once a week and go out to lunch with everyone because I enjoy their company. I've never noticed sabotage in the least bit in all the years I've been active and at a good weight. JME0
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I love this!0
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This makes absolutely no sense. Soooo, on your birthday, you get to dictate how everyone else eats? And of course, by refusing food from someone on their birthday, you are nonverbally wishing them a terrible birthday and saying you wish they'd never been born. :noway:
Why do they have to eat what the birthday girl says? Like you said, it's HER birthday, not THEIRS. Is declining a bite of cookie going to ruin her birthday? I seriously doubt it. If everyone had cake and cookies on everyone ELSE's birthday, there would be no fit people anywhere.
Exactly yes. It's MY birthday dammit so you will eat the cookie and you will damn well like it!!!
:laugh:0 -
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Do you think you can include your friends somehow by inviting them to walk or run with you? Train for a 5k run or walk together? Maybe meet at someone's home to do a fitness tape? Maybe they won't feel left out.
Sadly enough, I tried this a couple of times, but she gives up right after 2 minutes into the workout. And I'm too embarrassed to work out when people watch me unless they join me :laugh: So, she is not truly supportive. Last night after class she asked me to go out (I went out with them Thursday, Friday and Saturday) and I told her I couldn't because I wanted to go for a jog, and she's all like "I'm getting tired of your exercising routines, you are addicted to exercising!" I'm like - I WISH! Other things she has said after trying to make me eat sweets or treats and I refuse them is "Wow, are you actually for real trying to lose weight? Do you think you'll make it?" She is pretty negative. It's getting to be really difficult to deal with her.0 -
I understand that. For me, I think I was just offended at the rudeness that was implied in the post. Maybe it's just a southern thing. Maybe it's just a MY family southern thing, but that kind of rudeness was spanked out of me long ago. Refusing a cookie because you want CAKE instead is, to me, rude, especially considering that birthday lady was the one offering.
Refusing to eat a cookie for health reasons is a different story. If the bite of cookie is truly a problem and will lead to a downward spiral, then delicately try to explain that. If that's not possible, then fall back on good old southern politeness and LIE. Say your doctor told you no, or sugar gives you migraines, or you have a medical condition, or something. SOME reason that lets you AND the cookie lady off the hook. She doesn't walk away "pouting" and you aren't stuck eating the cookie. A positive relationship is maintained and everyone wins. After all - this was a work environment. Hurt feelings from co-workers are far more poisonous than the sugar in the cookie (IMO).
And no, I do not think birthday people rule the world and if we all ate their cake we'd all be fat. The OP was talking about refusing ONE bite of cookie because she wanted cake instead - NOT because the cookie would lead to a spiral. So I just don't understand being rude for the sake of self-interest. Blame my southern mom and my daddy's southern belt, but I would have eaten the cookie.
I'm Southern too, and if I don't want to eat something for whatever reason (or no reason at all), it's not rude. Expecting someone else to do something you want them to do just because you say so makes you exactly the kind of person the OP is talking about.0
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