As a guy I wanted to know what it was like as a woman...
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I haven't ever tried an online dating site, but at 34, working nights at a company that doesn't allow inter employee dating. Being a single parent so my free time is generally spent with my kid. The rare times I do venture out with mates these days I'm out to chat with them not a drunk stranger. Plus throw in living in a rural area which limits venues & events beyond a pub (know 98% of folk already), & a working mans club (caters to the older generation, or the pool players). I've never heard of anyone IRL getting asked out in a library? - don't they frown on talking. Or a supermarket? - Umm, do you come here often? Wtf please!
Dating is definitely harder the older you get in my opinion.
True story, I actually met a really nice fireman in the grocery store one day. He struck up a conversation and we were really connecting, then his pager went off and he had to go put out a fire. As I was checking out, he came running back in, all covered in soot. It was a kitchen fire, no biggie. He told me which station he worked at and asked me to come by. I was too chicken to do it tho.
wtf! That man put out a fire and still made time to come back and talk to you and you STILL wouldn't give him the time of day? Your seriously hard to impress hah
I was thinking the same thing... And, I have never had someone try to hit on me, RESPECTFULLY in a grocery store. I say respectfully, because "yo, mama, how you doin'?" or "damn, you fiiiiine, girl...", etc., just doesn't really do it for me.
I know, I kicked myself for awhile for that one. I was a newly single mom at the time and not quite brave enough to step into dating again yet. And it worked out ok, as it gave me a little bit of confidence back.
I don't know, perhaps I just come across as approachable, but I have always had people randomly strike up conversations with me wherever I am. Just the other day I was in the grocery store and a guy asked me if flour was baking powder. I showed him where the baking powder was and he starts telling me about a recipe he was making. I remarked that I had made that one and it was really good. He was very cute and looked to be about 30, so if I was 20 yrs younger and unmarried, I probably would have continued the conversation to see where it would lead.
You don't have to flirt or come on to people to get to know them. Just smile and talk with them.
Some guys are creepers, so I steer clear, but most people are just normal people. Just be yourself.0 -
The fiance and I were kind of making googly eyes at each other for a while before he approached. lol There was someone there we both knew, so he asked her to introduce us. The funny thing is, about four months before that we had spent about three straight hours talking in that same bar and while he thought I looked familiar, he couldn't remember from where and I didn't recognize him at all.
Well, of course. Some guys are jerks. But the idea that it never happens that a decent, respectful man starts a conversation with you is untrue. Maybe it never happns to YOU, but it happens.It does happen, though. My fiance started a normal, respectful conversation with me. The couple guys who asked me out at the grocery store and the one at the gas station did, too. Had I been single, I might have responded positively to them. I wasn't rude in my actual response, just let them know I was flattered but not available.
My ex stod behind me while I was sitting at the bar with friends for about 20 minutes (I assumed he was watching something on the TVs, but he was trying to get up the nerve to talk to me). He finally offered to buy me a drink, but I was done for the night (I was driving) so we just talked. And then we danced and ended up his friends and mine hanging out the rest of the night and we went on a date the next night, dated for a year and got engaged.
We'd probably be married if his mother wasn't bat**** crazy.
You'll have to agree with me that if women are still suspicious about guys who randomly want to start a conversation with them, there must be a reason.
It is all about balance. We have to strike up a conversation, but let our intentions be known that we are interested in you without being creepy. Otherwise, *looks over the edge of the "friend-zone cliff" and feels a gust of wind*
I remember being kind of shocked that after we'd spent so much time talking that night he left without even asking for my number, but by the next meeting I'd mostly forgotten.
That is actually a pretty cool story!0 -
It kind of is. :-) We've been pretty much attached at the hip since that night, too. Things moved VERY fast. It'll be nine years in early April.
The fiance and I were kind of making googly eyes at each other for a while before he approached. lol There was someone there we both knew, so he asked her to introduce us. The funny thing is, about four months before that we had spent about three straight hours talking in that same bar and while he thought I looked familiar, he couldn't remember from where and I didn't recognize him at all.
Well, of course. Some guys are jerks. But the idea that it never happens that a decent, respectful man starts a conversation with you is untrue. Maybe it never happns to YOU, but it happens.It does happen, though. My fiance started a normal, respectful conversation with me. The couple guys who asked me out at the grocery store and the one at the gas station did, too. Had I been single, I might have responded positively to them. I wasn't rude in my actual response, just let them know I was flattered but not available.
My ex stod behind me while I was sitting at the bar with friends for about 20 minutes (I assumed he was watching something on the TVs, but he was trying to get up the nerve to talk to me). He finally offered to buy me a drink, but I was done for the night (I was driving) so we just talked. And then we danced and ended up his friends and mine hanging out the rest of the night and we went on a date the next night, dated for a year and got engaged.
We'd probably be married if his mother wasn't bat**** crazy.
You'll have to agree with me that if women are still suspicious about guys who randomly want to start a conversation with them, there must be a reason.
It is all about balance. We have to strike up a conversation, but let our intentions be known that we are interested in you without being creepy. Otherwise, *looks over the edge of the "friend-zone cliff" and feels a gust of wind*
I remember being kind of shocked that after we'd spent so much time talking that night he left without even asking for my number, but by the next meeting I'd mostly forgotten.
That is actually a pretty cool story!0 -
I haven't ever tried an online dating site, but at 34, working nights at a company that doesn't allow inter employee dating. Being a single parent so my free time is generally spent with my kid. The rare times I do venture out with mates these days I'm out to chat with them not a drunk stranger. Plus throw in living in a rural area which limits venues & events beyond a pub (know 98% of folk already), & a working mans club (caters to the older generation, or the pool players). I've never heard of anyone IRL getting asked out in a library? - don't they frown on talking. Or a supermarket? - Umm, do you come here often? Wtf please!
Dating is definitely harder the older you get in my opinion.
True story, I actually met a really nice fireman in the grocery store one day. He struck up a conversation and we were really connecting, then his pager went off and he had to go put out a fire. As I was checking out, he came running back in, all covered in soot. It was a kitchen fire, no biggie. He told me which station he worked at and asked me to come by. I was too chicken to do it tho. wtf! That man put out a fire and still made time to come back and talk to you and you STILL wouldn't give him the time of day? Your seriously hard to impress hah
I was thinking the same thing... And, I have never had someone try to hit on me, RESPECTFULLY in a grocery store. I say respectfully, because "yo, mama, how you doin'?" or "damn, you fiiiiine, girl...", etc., just doesn't really do it for me.
I know, I kicked myself for awhile for that one. I was a newly single mom at the time and not quite brave enough to step into dating again yet. And it worked out ok, as it gave me a little bit of confidence back.
I don't know, perhaps I just come across as approachable, but I have always had people randomly strike up conversations with me wherever I am. Just the other day I was in the grocery store and a guy asked me if flour was baking powder. I showed him where the baking powder was and he starts telling me about a recipe he was making. I remarked that I had made that one and it was really good. He was very cute and looked to be about 30, so if I was 20 yrs younger and unmarried, I probably would have continued the conversation to see where it would lead.
You don't have to flirt or come on to people to get to know them. Just smile and talk with them.
Some guys are creepers, so I steer clear, but most people are just normal people. Just be yourself.
well, that makes sense.
Actually, people stop me all of the time to tell me their life stories, etc., not in an "I'm hitting on you" kind of way, though. Just a "you look like an approachable person I could talk to" kind of way. Not guys, just random people.
I don't feel the need to flirt with anyone.0 -
I haven't ever tried an online dating site, but at 34, working nights at a company that doesn't allow inter employee dating. Being a single parent so my free time is generally spent with my kid. The rare times I do venture out with mates these days I'm out to chat with them not a drunk stranger. Plus throw in living in a rural area which limits venues & events beyond a pub (know 98% of folk already), & a working mans club (caters to the older generation, or the pool players). I've never heard of anyone IRL getting asked out in a library? - don't they frown on talking. Or a supermarket? - Umm, do you come here often? Wtf please!
Dating is definitely harder the older you get in my opinion.
True story, I actually met a really nice fireman in the grocery store one day. He struck up a conversation and we were really connecting, then his pager went off and he had to go put out a fire. As I was checking out, he came running back in, all covered in soot. It was a kitchen fire, no biggie. He told me which station he worked at and asked me to come by. I was too chicken to do it tho. wtf! That man put out a fire and still made time to come back and talk to you and you STILL wouldn't give him the time of day? Your seriously hard to impress hah
I was thinking the same thing... And, I have never had someone try to hit on me, RESPECTFULLY in a grocery store. I say respectfully, because "yo, mama, how you doin'?" or "damn, you fiiiiine, girl...", etc., just doesn't really do it for me.
I know, I kicked myself for awhile for that one. I was a newly single mom at the time and not quite brave enough to step into dating again yet. And it worked out ok, as it gave me a little bit of confidence back.
I don't know, perhaps I just come across as approachable, but I have always had people randomly strike up conversations with me wherever I am. Just the other day I was in the grocery store and a guy asked me if flour was baking powder. I showed him where the baking powder was and he starts telling me about a recipe he was making. I remarked that I had made that one and it was really good. He was very cute and looked to be about 30, so if I was 20 yrs younger and unmarried, I probably would have continued the conversation to see where it would lead.
You don't have to flirt or come on to people to get to know them. Just smile and talk with them.
Some guys are creepers, so I steer clear, but most people are just normal people. Just be yourself.
well, that makes sense.
Actually, people stop me all of the time to tell me their life stories, etc., not in an "I'm hitting on you" kind of way, though. Just a "you look like an approachable person I could talk to" kind of way. Not guys, just random people.
I don't feel the need to flirt with anyone.
I get that too. Actually last week, the pizza guy just had a baby and decided to show me pics. I was really confused.0 -
I tried the online dating thing a few times before I met my husband and met a couple decent people, but none who were really on the same wave length as me. The world in general is just a hard place to meet a compatible person. The internet is a scary place since you really don't know what you are getting unless you take the chance to meet someone. I met my husband at the bar. Not the best place to meet someone but it can happen. I think my luck has been meeting people through friends or friends of friends. You would hope that your friends would have your best interests at heart and not introduce you to someone who is clearly not what you would like or want. I wish you all the best in dating and that you are able to weed through the bad ones to find what you are looking for.0
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I haven't ever tried an online dating site, but at 34, working nights at a company that doesn't allow inter employee dating. Being a single parent so my free time is generally spent with my kid. The rare times I do venture out with mates these days I'm out to chat with them not a drunk stranger. Plus throw in living in a rural area which limits venues & events beyond a pub (know 98% of folk already), & a working mans club (caters to the older generation, or the pool players). I've never heard of anyone IRL getting asked out in a library? - don't they frown on talking. Or a supermarket? - Umm, do you come here often? Wtf please!
Dating is definitely harder the older you get in my opinion.
True story, I actually met a really nice fireman in the grocery store one day. He struck up a conversation and we were really connecting, then his pager went off and he had to go put out a fire. As I was checking out, he came running back in, all covered in soot. It was a kitchen fire, no biggie. He told me which station he worked at and asked me to come by. I was too chicken to do it tho. wtf! That man put out a fire and still made time to come back and talk to you and you STILL wouldn't give him the time of day? Your seriously hard to impress hah
I was thinking the same thing... And, I have never had someone try to hit on me, RESPECTFULLY in a grocery store. I say respectfully, because "yo, mama, how you doin'?" or "damn, you fiiiiine, girl...", etc., just doesn't really do it for me.
I know, I kicked myself for awhile for that one. I was a newly single mom at the time and not quite brave enough to step into dating again yet. And it worked out ok, as it gave me a little bit of confidence back.
I don't know, perhaps I just come across as approachable, but I have always had people randomly strike up conversations with me wherever I am. Just the other day I was in the grocery store and a guy asked me if flour was baking powder. I showed him where the baking powder was and he starts telling me about a recipe he was making. I remarked that I had made that one and it was really good. He was very cute and looked to be about 30, so if I was 20 yrs younger and unmarried, I probably would have continued the conversation to see where it would lead.
You don't have to flirt or come on to people to get to know them. Just smile and talk with them.
Some guys are creepers, so I steer clear, but most people are just normal people. Just be yourself.
well, that makes sense.
Actually, people stop me all of the time to tell me their life stories, etc., not in an "I'm hitting on you" kind of way, though. Just a "you look like an approachable person I could talk to" kind of way. Not guys, just random people.
I don't feel the need to flirt with anyone.
I get that too. Actually last week, the pizza guy just had a baby and decided to show me pics. I was really confused.
You may never guess from my profile picture but I get the same. Sometimes it's people that make me REALLY uncomfortable.
When standing in line for the Shedd this past summer 4 different groups of people walked up to me and the little ones to offer their tickets......This out of a line of what seemed like 100's0 -
bumping to read later.0
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well, that makes sense.
Actually, people stop me all of the time to tell me their life stories, etc., not in an "I'm hitting on you" kind of way, though. Just a "you look like an approachable person I could talk to" kind of way. Not guys, just random people.
I don't feel the need to flirt with anyone.
This is what I was talking about. Lots of people probably miss opportunities because they don't see where normal conversations can lead. They miss opportunities to meet people outside of the 'traditional' meeting places because they aren't expecting it.
And a girl you end up being friends with, may have a great brother she can introduce you to.
It's all about being open to possibilities.0 -
well, that makes sense.
Actually, people stop me all of the time to tell me their life stories, etc., not in an "I'm hitting on you" kind of way, though. Just a "you look like an approachable person I could talk to" kind of way. Not guys, just random people.
I don't feel the need to flirt with anyone.
This is what I was talking about. Lots of people probably miss opportunities because they don't see where normal conversations can lead. They miss opportunities to meet people outside of the 'traditional' meeting places because they aren't expecting it.
And a girl you end up being friends with, may have a great brother she can introduce you to.
It's all about being open to possibilities.
My friend met her husband when they sat next to each other on a plane.0 -
well, that makes sense.
Actually, people stop me all of the time to tell me their life stories, etc., not in an "I'm hitting on you" kind of way, though. Just a "you look like an approachable person I could talk to" kind of way. Not guys, just random people.
I don't feel the need to flirt with anyone.
This is what I was talking about. Lots of people probably miss opportunities because they don't see where normal conversations can lead. They miss opportunities to meet people outside of the 'traditional' meeting places because they aren't expecting it.
And a girl you end up being friends with, may have a great brother she can introduce you to.
It's all about being open to possibilities.
they generally share their life story and move along. They don't ask to exchange numbers for any of that to happen to me. I'm ok with online dating and/or meeting through friends. I also know exactly what I want and don't want and have boundaries.0 -
The guy who faked being a chick is worst than the pervs that wrote to him.
I don't agree. It's nice to know that men want to see what it's like for us.0 -
The guy who faked being a chick is worst than the pervs that wrote to him.
I don't agree. It's nice to know that men want to see what it's like for us.
I don't agree either.
I simply viewed it as a social experiment. If it makes one person more aware it was a success.0 -
Would rather get thousands of unwanted and weird messages than be a guy on a dating site and get ZERO response. Weeding through the endless creeps is still possible....weeding through an empty inbox is impossible.0
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So you enjoy being surprised by a stanger's photograph of his penis and testicles, then?Would rather get thousands of unwanted and weird messages than be a guy on a dating site and get ZERO response. Weeding through the endless creeps is still possible....weeding through an empty inbox is impossible.0 -
I haven't been able to read everyone's post but I just want to say that as an ex-pro on line dater, it was a blast. Yes, I was inundated with messages but that just made me feel good. There were times some men got out of hand, so I blocked them, simple.
I give you credit for doing what you did.0 -
Would rather get thousands of unwanted and weird messages than be a guy on a dating site and get ZERO response. Weeding through the endless creeps is still possible....weeding through an empty inbox is impossible.
Pretty sure that is what the guy was trying to say earlier0 -
So you enjoy being surprised by a stanger's photograph of his penis and testicles, then?Would rather get thousands of unwanted and weird messages than be a guy on a dating site and get ZERO response. Weeding through the endless creeps is still possible....weeding through an empty inbox is impossible.
There is a possibility that the next message is from prince charming. There is no possibility within an empty inbox.0 -
So you enjoy being surprised by a stanger's photograph of his penis and testicles, then?Would rather get thousands of unwanted and weird messages than be a guy on a dating site and get ZERO response. Weeding through the endless creeps is still possible....weeding through an empty inbox is impossible.
I would assume not, because he a guy. But I guarantee he wouldn't mind getting surprised by random T&A.0 -
So you enjoy being surprised by a stanger's photograph of his penis and testicles, then?Would rather get thousands of unwanted and weird messages than be a guy on a dating site and get ZERO response. Weeding through the endless creeps is still possible....weeding through an empty inbox is impossible.
That's never happened to me. I feel left out.0
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