Men, how do you feel about SAHM?
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http://faithandcomposition.wordpress.com/2014/02/07/when-mothering-is-hard-and-no-one-sees/ Just saw this, and had to share. Just an idea of what stay at home parents deal with. Not even the entire reality, but just a glimpse.0
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IMHO, I do not base my decision to stay at home while my children are yet to enter school on whether or not it would be harder to work outside of the home. I chose to stay home because it is the best option for my children. All of my major decisions, like this one, depends on how it will affect my family. I believe I provide my children with a better benefit than if they were in daycare. I work from home and have a graduate degree in the education field. I have been told by some that I am wasting my degrees, but I am using what I learned to teach my children. They are only little for five years and then they are off to school. I want to be there for as much as I can when they are little bitty. I would hate to miss out on everything they do each day. I am cherishing these times, because I know it is fleeting.
I don't feel like SAHM is the hardest job in the world. There are moments when it is difficult because there can be enormous repercussions for my parenting decisions and how that affects my children short and long term. I think the hardest job would be anything requiring me to leave my children every morning and not see them until night, every day, five days a week. That would be a million times harder.0 -
...moms that work that *kitten* off 8 hours a day after getting the kids ready, driving them to their daycare, and then picking them up on the way home, making dinner, doing laundry, bathing, cleaning, helping with learning and developmental issues, taking them to activities, etc....all the while having to spend a huge proportion of your salary on childcare. Well, I would say that that is judgmental because those moms work their *kitten* off. Those moms have been my family members that want the best for their kids, coworkers that have to leave early to pick their children up because their is a sick kid at the daycare. If you want to defend your lifestyle do it without bringing other people down because working moms work their *kitten* off.
^^Yes.
I can't even be bothered to waste my time or energy debating the nonsense in this thread -- but, I agree 100% that I have done what is best for my child, in our situation, with the means and resources available to us at this time. Working full time is necessary for both my husband and myself. We found a loving, wonderful, caring woman who cares for our son the majority of his waking hours during the day. She comforts and soothes him. She feeds and cuddles him. She loves him, and he loves her. I have struggled with my choices in the last 18 months more than once.
We could potentially sell our home, downsize, sell a car and have only one (even though one is paid off already) and spend our savings and monies we have begun putting aside for his future in order to afford for one of us to stay at home. We choose not to. And, that is ok. I used to get angry when people critisized my choice to work instead of staying home to raise my child. But, they do not live my life. I don't have room in my life for hate or concern for what others think. I do me and they can do them. Are you being a the best parent you can be?! Then you are alright in my book.
Edited for typos...0 -
I totally respect parents who work and do the best the can to support their kids, I was there and totally get that. It's a tough life and there's no question all SAH parents are fortunate to be in such a situation. Where this thread loses me are the people who feel the need to minimize the role of a full time parent, like it's something easy and simple.
I will take some exception to the post about about working and raising kids are adding responsibilities - those parents (who do a great job) are paying someone to take away some responsibility of raising and educating their kids so they are able to work and provide for their family. Obviously no shame there. SAH parents aren't partying during the day (well the good ones aren't) while other people are working - they are working on being a caretaker and educator of their children. Both roles have plenty of responsibilities during the same times of the day.
anyways, I'm done with this thread - I deal with enough people IRL who can't deal with the societal change of my role as being a dad.0 -
This topic is ridiculous because people try to turn everything into a big deal. If someone said, "the trees are taller than the grass," someone would be mad that they were judging grass.
That's probably because you're trying to infer judgement and then figure out how best to be offended. You also seem to think it is an all-or-nothing situation where "replace" is a permanent 24/7 thing.Then I really don't understand your first comment.
Yeah, I'm pretty lost myself.
A child needs things from its parents. When it spends 9 straight hours at a day care, it either:
A- has those needs met by someone else
B- stops needing those things
C- goes without having its needs met
You're welcome to figure out which of those are true in which situations, so that you can cherry pick all the ones where you think the answer was B and be offended by the judgement you imagined to have taken place. But to argue that A never occurs would be quite ridiculous.0 -
This topic is ridiculous because people try to turn everything into a big deal. If someone said, "the trees are taller than the grass," someone would be mad that they were judging grass.
That's probably because you're trying to infer judgement and then figure out how best to be offended. You also seem to think it is an all-or-nothing situation where "replace" is a permanent 24/7 thing.Then I really don't understand your first comment.
Yeah, I'm pretty lost myself.
A child needs things from its parents. When it spends 9 straight hours at a day care, it either:
A- has those needs met by someone else
B- stops needing those things
C- goes without having its needs met
You're welcome to figure out which of those are true in which situations, so that you can cherry pick all the ones where you think the answer was B and be offended by the judgement you imagined to have taken place. But to argue that A never occurs would be quite ridiculous.
LOL. Breathe...it's going to be ok.0 -
Your hung up on the job word - ok use RESPONSIBILITY. Yes it was a choice and it is a privilege - our situation dictated that we wanted to have a parent involved and if we both kept our jobs I would see the kids off to daycare and only see them after they were in bed or at night on the weekends. My wife would see them on the weekends and essentially have to put them right to bed when she arrived home from work at 7:30. We did that for 2 years and it wasn't working well. We didn't know each other well then and we definitely didn't know our son well.
For us continuing down that path wasn't an option, so we sacrificed a *lot* to make sure one of us raised the kids. I don't need anyone's affirmation that what I do is important - because I KNOW it is. My kids are better off, my relationship with my wife is better off, and our family as a whole is better off. Having this balance, for our situation, is more valuable than my second income.
I applaud you for being able to work 2 jobs and raise your kids, I know it's not easy and many terrific parents do that. I'm not saying that my way is the best way, I'm saying my is the best way - for us.0 -
As a child I had to go to daycare, and had to be babysat by grandparents, etc. I saw how hard it was for my mom/dad to work all day, and to also have to come home and take care of the house and kids. I've also lived with my aunt who is a STAHM and had a brand new baby a year ago, I see how it truly hard it is to also stay home. And as an adult, I do have schooling and could choose the career route, but I am going to be a STAHM. DF and I mutually agreed that it would work for us. I can without a biased opinion see the struggles of both sides. But I could never bash one more than the others.
The thing I see often is one side getting offended that the other side bashed them, proceeding with bashing in return.
Having kids shouldn't be a competition. How you raise them also shouldn't be a competition.0 -
I don't disagree with or dislike the idea, but it's becoming much harder and a lot less realistic in the modern world for one person to be able to get a job that will allow them to support a spouse and children. The days of the single income family are coming to an end, except in cases of those who are very financially fortunate.0
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You're so right. With all the problems in the world this is the one that gets me worked up. Can I facepalm you?i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.0 -
I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.0 -
and this is my last reply to this stupid thread: everyone 'defending' SAHM while saying bs that puts down the idea of preschools, nannys, babysitters, strangers watching babies, and moms that work that *kitten* off 8 hours a day after getting the kids ready, driving them to their daycare, and then picking them up on the way home, making dinner, doing laundry, bathing, cleaning, helping with learning and developmental issues, taking them to activities, etc....all the while having to spend a huge proportion of your salary on childcare. Well, I would say that that is judgmental because those moms work their *kitten* off. Those moms have been my family members that want the best for their kids, coworkers that have to leave early to pick their children up because their is a sick kid at the daycare. If you want to defend your lifestyle do it without bringing other people down because working moms work their *kitten* off. SAHMs aren't the end all be all of hard work. What a joke. Prehistory women were having and rearing children, they didn't throw a ****ing awards ceremony for it.
And again, though some of you have either a learning disability, can't read, or have a visual impairment, kudos to you for making it work and achieving a ton of other goals if you are a SAHM.
OP, way to be hella butt hurt for starting something you can't finish...
If you don't have kids, shut the front door, your opinion is not needed.
I have a toddler and work full time, and my kid attends the day care at my work. He gets to socialize with other children, learns sign language, eats healthy foods, and gets to partake in great activities. all without having to sit in front of the tv, he has the means to learn and explore WITH OTHER KIDS HIS AGE.
I also get the luxury of working from home if need be.
Do I think I need a medal? No, I love working and being a mom.
Do I hate SAHMs? No, because it's none of my effing business...
Do I care if people think I'm a bad parent because I don't stay at home with my kid? Hell no, I love my job, I love my family, and I have the best of both with what I get to do every day I punch in.
so, congratulations on being just another problem in this whole "mommy wars" thing.0 -
I want to have enough money so that my wife and I can both stay at home. An enormous home. Seriously, I do not understand why people work if they have money.0
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i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.
Maybe the topic should have been "SAHMs are ridiculous and I facepalm at the fact that anyone would aspire to have children and be able to stay home with them instead of having a paying job, because clearly wanting to stay home with your children means you don't have ambition, are a worthless drain on society, and a waste of space." You're right, we should all want the exact same thing out of life and have the same priorities.0 -
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.0 -
If you can't understand SAHMs, you will definitely want to bite a chunk of my @$$ off and chew it, because I want to be a stay at home wife hahah.
I don't have kids, nor want them, and I'm STILL too lazy to wanna go to work every day!
Unfortunately, I'm not in a position where I can quit work and lovingly take care of my husband and our home, or else I would in a heart beat!
lol 0 -
Maybe the topic should have been "SAHMs are ridiculous and I facepalm at the fact that anyone would aspire to have children and be able to stay home with them instead of having a paying job, because clearly wanting to stay home with your children means you don't have ambition, are a worthless drain on society, and a waste of space." You're right, we should all want the exact same thing out of life and have the same priorities.
this^^
I've always thought it is awesome for mothers/fathers to stay home with their little ones in the first years of their life. Some women dream of it, some women can't imagine being home all day. Whatever works, whatever makes them happy!0 -
I have been a SAHM for 12 years now.. but Have always worked from home doing various business ventures. I will add I have five kids and having a job outside the house would be impossible with childcare costs etc. I CHOOSE to have five kids.. and i believe in making that choice it would have not made sense for me to CHOOSE to have a job outside the home. If i wanted to have a job outside the home i would have CHOSEN to have less children.
I don't think people can compare each others situation and determine which is harder. Everybodys situations are different and by that I mean, relationship status, Children (characteristics) , family situations (grandparents etc around to help), finances etc.
I find these arguments and question so stupid. its like the moms who compare there kids etc.. who bloody well cares when your child was reading, or how many sports, or when they lost there teeth.. point is, we are all different, we all strive to do whats best for us and our families and everyones BEST is different. Thats what makes the world an exciting place. I think the real issue in parenting and motherhood etc is the relationships we have with our family as a whole.
Am i saying I love being a stay at home mom.. no, not always, sometimes yes. I feel lost in it, i feel lost in my kids, I feel that sometimes my value is determined by my children and thats a WHOLE other issue. Threads like this are really stupid.. and they are started by people who don't have a clue and perhaps think that we all function the same way. WE DON'T!!!
NOW I NEED A CAT GIF TO MAKE ME LAUGH AGAIN.. ANYONE ANYONE?0 -
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.
Yes, I have paid for child care since my son was 6 weeks old. Thankfully he's in school now so I pay less. Do most states not have childcare vouchers for working parents? I know my state does and that's something I would support. Parents are more likely to better their financial situation and get off of assistance by working, as opposed to making it a career. In all honesty, I could probably think of over 20 young women who stay at home by choice, if I took the time.
So if I were to say that I would rather stay at home with my child (which I would), guit my job and go on government assistance for 18 years, you think that's ok? What if every mother did the same, would we have to enact a law that provided income to stay at home parents?0 -
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.
Yes, I have paid for child care since my son was 6 weeks old. Thankfully he's in school now so I pay less. Do most states not have childcare vouchers for working parents? I know my state does and that's something I would support. Parents are more likely to better their financial situation and get off of assistance by working, as opposed to making it a career. In all honesty, I could probably think of over 20 young women who stay at home by choice, if I took the time.
So if I were to say that I would rather stay at home with my child (which I would), guit my job and go on government assistance for 18 years, you think that's ok? What if every mother did the same, would we have to enact a law that provided income to stay at home parents?
Fun Fact: it's no one's business that someone else gets assistance for "staying home by choice"0 -
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.
Yes, I have paid for child care since my son was 6 weeks old. Thankfully he's in school now so I pay less. Do most states not have childcare vouchers for working parents? I know my state does and that's something I would support. Parents are more likely to better their financial situation and get off of assistance by working, as opposed to making it a career. In all honesty, I could probably think of over 20 young women who stay at home by choice, if I took the time.
So if I were to say that I would rather stay at home with my child (which I would), guit my job and go on government assistance for 18 years, you think that's ok? What if every mother did the same, would we have to enact a law that provided income to stay at home parents?
Fun Fact: it's no one's business that someone else gets assistance for "staying home by choice"
When that 'assistance' comes from the paychecks of people who DO work, including me, I get to have an opinion.0 -
and this is my last reply to this stupid thread: everyone 'defending' SAHM while saying bs that puts down the idea of preschools, nannys, babysitters, strangers watching babies, and moms that work that *kitten* off 8 hours a day after getting the kids ready, driving them to their daycare, and then picking them up on the way home, making dinner, doing laundry, bathing, cleaning, helping with learning and developmental issues, taking them to activities, etc....all the while having to spend a huge proportion of your salary on childcare. Well, I would say that that is judgmental because those moms work their *kitten* off. Those moms have been my family members that want the best for their kids, coworkers that have to leave early to pick their children up because their is a sick kid at the daycare. If you want to defend your lifestyle do it without bringing other people down because working moms work their *kitten* off. SAHMs aren't the end all be all of hard work. What a joke. Prehistory women were having and rearing children, they didn't throw a ****ing awards ceremony for it.
And again, though some of you have either a learning disability, can't read, or have a visual impairment, kudos to you for making it work and achieving a ton of other goals if you are a SAHM.
OP, way to be hella butt hurt for starting something you can't finish...
If you don't have kids, shut the front door, your opinion is not needed.
I have a toddler and work full time, and my kid attends the day care at my work. He gets to socialize with other children, learns sign language, eats healthy foods, and gets to partake in great activities. all without having to sit in front of the tv, he has the means to learn and explore WITH OTHER KIDS HIS AGE.
I also get the luxury of working from home if need be.
Do I think I need a medal? No, I love working and being a mom.
Do I hate SAHMs? No, because it's none of my effing business...
Do I care if people think I'm a bad parent because I don't stay at home with my kid? Hell no, I love my job, I love my family, and I have the best of both with what I get to do every day I punch in.
so, congratulations on being just another problem in this whole "mommy wars" thing.
THIS! I've been both. I'm currently a SAHM and have been for over two years now. The first year I also owned an at home daycare. We are now overseas, so I'm "just" a SAHM now until we go back to the states where I can have my daycare again. I had a friend in college tell me that women who want to be SAHMs lacked ambition and needed to aim higher. So seriously because you aren't earning a paycheck you are lazy and have no aspirations? I LOVE teaching, and it is NO walk in the park to homeschool. How is it different from me adding a few kids, charging their parents, and calling myself an at home daycare owner? Just because I'm not getting paid to do it and just because the kids I'm teaching are my own doesn't mean I have no ambition. Seriously, you are way too angry about this and I find it kind of amusing and yet disturbing and frustrating because like the previous poster said it's just perpetuating this mommy war thing. Someone like OP says some dbaggery comment about either SAHM's or working moms and then the SAHM or working moms feel like they have to defend themselves. So by defending themselves the other side gets offended and it just goes back and forth. WHO CARES? Seriously...sure there are lazy SAHM/Ds who probably sleep or watch TV all day and don't do their kids a bit of good but there are also GREAT SAHM/Ds who work hard everyday to keep the house running and teach their children. There are also working moms who are also lazy and don't put their children first, and there are GREAT working moms who fight to balance it all. People either do what they can with the opportunities available or they do what they want to do in life...how does it affect you and why so butthurt over it?0 -
So if I was to hire a cleaning lady to come clean my house top to bottom and a daycare center to watch my children they would be working. But if I do all that (and more) myself, I'm not working? I'm confused.
Oh! I think I get it! You think a person has to receive a paycheck to feel good about themselves.
I'm sorry that you still can't understand why some parents choose to stay at home with their children. But I'm really tired of being insulted by people who don't even know me because they can't understand my choices.
For the record, I've been a working mom and am now a sahm. There are many days when I would like to go back to working outside the home. But not only can we not afford daycare, but the pros far outweigh the cons of being around my little ones all day.
And one more for the record, I know a sahm who sits around all day and has her teenagers do all the cleaning and cooking. It gives us all a bad rap. I also know people who play solitaire all day while drawing a paycheck.
Edited to add one more for the record: we don't collect any government assistance. My husband completely supports us. So really, why in the world is it anybody else's business?0 -
Even MORE fun fact: The assistance you seems so entitled to comes out of MY paycheck. The paycheck I use to pay for my child, her medical care, her food, her clothes and her daycare. I'm glad you feel it's such a good thing that people deserve to TAKE from my little girl to better your lives.
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.
Yes, I have paid for child care since my son was 6 weeks old. Thankfully he's in school now so I pay less. Do most states not have childcare vouchers for working parents? I know my state does and that's something I would support. Parents are more likely to better their financial situation and get off of assistance by working, as opposed to making it a career. In all honesty, I could probably think of over 20 young women who stay at home by choice, if I took the time.
So if I were to say that I would rather stay at home with my child (which I would), guit my job and go on government assistance for 18 years, you think that's ok? What if every mother did the same, would we have to enact a law that provided income to stay at home parents?
Fun Fact: it's no one's business that someone else gets assistance for "staying home by choice"0 -
For reals, how do you feels?
I don't even think that is a discussion. Every person will have different opinions, but sounds like you want "the truth".0 -
I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
Okay the only problem with your statement is saying that everything a SAHM does in 8-10 hours, you do in a couple of hours. Not saying either is better than the other, but you pay your childcare provider to DO something that you aren't able to do while you're working (taking care of your child). Hopefully that includes teaching your child, feeding your child, cleaning up after your child, and entertaining your child. For those 8-10 hours a day, (hopefully) SAHMs are doing the same thing the daycare worker is doing (and in my INFORMED opinion as I once worked for a HORRIBLE daycare), most mothers can provide these things better than any daycare can.
When I was working I was incredibly blessed to have an amazing daycare for my daughter. They taught her rigorously and she LOVED it. By 18 months old she was potty trained, counting to 15 in both Spanish and English, and could read several words. I still keep in contact with the daycare owner to this day because she made such a huge impact on our life. They provided my daughter with the BEST which is exactly what I would've done had I been able to stay at home with her.
Before we moved to be with hubby overseas, it was just the girls and I back home and I actually got a job that paid pretty much exactly what it cost to put my two girls in daycare. I was breaking even, and hubby's paycheck was supporting us. One of my reasons was wanting my girls to get social interaction in a classroom environment, but I can honestly say another was just so I could say "I'm working". There's such a stigma placed on SAHMs that I was more comfortable getting a job that basically paid nothing (all pay went to daycare) than hearing "so is that all you do? You're JUST a SAHM?" (which..yes...I actually got that question last week). It took about a month and a half or so and SEVERAL call-outs due to my girls getting sick for me to quit and go back to being a SAHM.
Like I said, I've been on both sides of the fence and it really is what works for your family. You work 8-10 hours a day and get a paycheck. I work 8-10 hours a day and don't have to pay for daycare. We both work the rest of the day to keep house and raise our kids. We're even. No need to minimize what the other side is doing.0 -
I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
Okay the only problem with your statement is saying that everything a SAHM does in 8-10 hours, you do in a couple of hours. Not saying either is better than the other, but you pay your childcare provider to DO something that you aren't able to do while you're working (taking care of your child). Hopefully that includes teaching your child, feeding your child, cleaning up after your child, and entertaining your child. For those 8-10 hours a day, (hopefully) SAHMs are doing the same thing the daycare worker is doing (and in my INFORMED opinion as I once worked for a HORRIBLE daycare), most mothers can provide these things better than any daycare can.
When I was working I was incredibly blessed to have an amazing daycare for my daughter. They taught her rigorously and she LOVED it. By 18 months old she was potty trained, counting to 15 in both Spanish and English, and could read several words. I still keep in contact with the daycare owner to this day because she made such a huge impact on our life. They provided my daughter with the BEST which is exactly what I would've done had I been able to stay at home with her.
Before we moved to be with hubby overseas, it was just the girls and I back home and I actually got a job that paid pretty much exactly what it cost to put my two girls in daycare. I was breaking even, and hubby's paycheck was supporting us. One of my reasons was wanting my girls to get social interaction in a classroom environment, but I can honestly say another was just so I could say "I'm working". There's such a stigma placed on SAHMs that I was more comfortable getting a job that basically paid nothing (all pay went to daycare) than hearing "so is that all you do? You're JUST a SAHM?" (which..yes...I actually got that question last week). It took about a month and a half or so and SEVERAL call-outs due to my girls getting sick for me to quit and go back to being a SAHM.
Like I said, I've been on both sides of the fence and it really is what works for your family. You work 8-10 hours a day and get a paycheck. I work 8-10 hours a day and don't have to pay for daycare. We both work the rest of the day to keep house and raise our kids. We're even. No need to minimize what the other side is doing.
This! So many times, this! We don't do the same amount of work as a working mother, just spaced out over the whole day. Are the daycare workers not working the entire day while they're taking care of children? I do not just sit my children in front of the television all day. They wouldn't sit there anyway. All mothers who love and take care of their children are awesome! Why so many arguments about who is working harder?0 -
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/116/A-Husband-s-Amazing-Response-To-She-s-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom-What-Does-She-DO-All-Day-
THIS is my opinion, if you don't like it, oh friggin well. I am a SAHM of three kids and I have a college degree, what I choose to do as my "career" is my business. This whole damn post was just trying to stir people up and it worked.0 -
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.
Yes, I have paid for child care since my son was 6 weeks old. Thankfully he's in school now so I pay less. Do most states not have childcare vouchers for working parents? I know my state does and that's something I would support. Parents are more likely to better their financial situation and get off of assistance by working, as opposed to making it a career. In all honesty, I could probably think of over 20 young women who stay at home by choice, if I took the time.
So if I were to say that I would rather stay at home with my child (which I would), guit my job and go on government assistance for 18 years, you think that's ok? What if every mother did the same, would we have to enact a law that provided income to stay at home parents?
Fun Fact: it's no one's business that someone else gets assistance for "staying home by choice"
when the public contributes to said assistance, then yes, it is.
you honestly think youre entitled to stay home and collect because childcare is expensive?
i would feel a tremendous amount of guilt if i did that.0 -
Do you pay for child care? Are you aware of the cost of child care? Not everyone can have a family member watch their child AND work.I have a strong opinion on this, so let's see where it gets me.
Being a young mother and a single mom, I worked to support my son and myself. I knew and still see many, many young women who have "stay at home mom' as their job title on facebook or whatever other social media. That's not a job, that's parenting. A job is what I do 8-10 hours a day and then come home and do all the things you do but in a couple hours.
The part that bothers me is people who have a stay at home parent who utilize government assistance. To me, being a stay at home parent is a luxury. You shouldn't qualify for government assistance when you CHOOSE not to work. I'm ashamed to say that I know of at least 10 young mothers who consider 'stay at home' parenting a job and collect welfare to supplement their lack of income.
You don't get to call the shots on who deserves assistance and who doesn't. I'll bet money you're exaggerating on all of these young moms who live the high life on welfare.
Yes, I have paid for child care since my son was 6 weeks old. Thankfully he's in school now so I pay less. Do most states not have childcare vouchers for working parents? I know my state does and that's something I would support. Parents are more likely to better their financial situation and get off of assistance by working, as opposed to making it a career. In all honesty, I could probably think of over 20 young women who stay at home by choice, if I took the time.
So if I were to say that I would rather stay at home with my child (which I would), guit my job and go on government assistance for 18 years, you think that's ok? What if every mother did the same, would we have to enact a law that provided income to stay at home parents?
Fun Fact: it's no one's business that someone else gets assistance for "staying home by choice"
Fun fact. My tax dollars are subsidizing their lifestyle choice, therefore I have a right to have an opinion on the matter. Being a SAHM is not an inherent right afforded by the constitution.0
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