Men, how do you feel about SAHM?

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  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

    If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.
  • Hobb3s
    Hobb3s Posts: 119 Member
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    If I was pulling in enough to comfortably handle our current standard of living, then I'd be totally cool with her staying home with the kids.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I try not to judge the choices others make.

    I am not interested in being a SAHM. I do NOT think SAHMs are lazy. I wish I had time to clean more, keep up with my kids school, appointments, etc. My girls are supposed to have teacher conferences this week. I have no idea when one of them is (they scheduled it automatically and I was supposed to change it if I needed but I didn't). And I never scheduled the other. Sometimes I wish I had a secretary for the family "stuff", plus a chef and house keeper. Maybe I"ll get us a hot "sister wife" who can stay at home for us as neither my husband nor I are interested. We also enjoy two incomes.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
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    I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.
    And I don't get why someone would want to be an accountant, or a lawyer, or a plumber...but I don't have to "get it". We all have different aspirations...and for some people being with their children as a full time present parent, instead of only being there for them for the few hours between work and bedtime, is their goal. I wonder, is being a teacher or day care provider something worthy of aspiring to? Because that's what a stay at home parent is, plus a whole lot more...and they do it without a paycheck and with very little time off. Or is it the paycheck that makes a career choice make sense?

    I'm not a parent...but, I STRONGLY believe that if more families had a SAHP, we'd have fewer societal problems.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

    If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.

    That was judgey. Glad to see it goes in both directions.
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
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    Eh, I am sure it is rough in the beginning, but once the children are of school age, then I can't see how it is hard. You have 8-9 hours to do whatever you please

    Really? Clearly you have no idea what its like to be a Stay-at-Home-HOMESCHOOLING-Mom. When my kids start "school" my job gets 10 times harder than it was before. Every fall I hear other parents saying things like, "Yay!! School is starting!! Finally!" And I am thinking... "Summer went by way too fast."

    And even for the moms who don't homeschool, school doesn't last 8-9 hours, more like 5 or 6, and in that time many of them are really busy volunteering at school, cleaning house and preparing meals, and doing other things that make homelife more pleasant for the rest of the family.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    We have a cleaning lady that comes once every two weeks for a few hours. *snip* I don't understand why people seem to think it's so difficult.

    Really? :huh: :noway:
    What part did you not understand? The cleaning lady is pretty cheap compared to what it would cost if one of us didn't work.
  • dgraboski
    dgraboski Posts: 125 Member
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    I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

    If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.

    Exactly!!

    It's the parents that do not hire others to clean their homes or take their children to all the sports games that have no time! By the time I get my kids from their games etc and cook dinner it is 7 pm and they go to bed at 8. It sucks spending an hour a day with my children who are 15, 10 and 8. They are only little once.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
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    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

    Well, I agree with you there because what if you never get married…. or get a divorce?? Or your husband dies? Then you have no job or education to fall back on, and you struggle just to feed your children.

    Maybe it is just me, but I feel that life is about aspirations and having skills and growing. I saw this and laughed my *kitten* off because working parents still have their children at the end of the day. They don't just disappear. They will still be annoying when you come home from work.
    5606b310841fca253dd82e2169aa416a.jpg

    I think people have their opinions about life and how it should be lived. And then life happens. You make adjustments. Your opinions become softer, and you understand that there is a time for things. One woman I know became a SAHM because the day she was to return to work, she dropped her child off at day care and instead of going to work, drove around near the day care for hours. Sometimes you don't know how you'll react until you have children. I'm not into the mommy wars thing. Just like some people like chocolate ice cream, and others like vanilla, some people choose a different lifestyle than one you would choose for yourself.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    So, derailing the other OPs thread asking for advice just wasn't enough for you, huh?
    Shesh...



    159455643027517538xm7v1ykdc.jpg
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
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    I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

    If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.

    Exactly!!

    It's the parents that do not hire others to clean their homes or take their children to all the sports games that have no time! By the time I get my kids from their games etc and cook dinner it is 7 pm and they go to bed at 8. It sucks spending an hour a day with my children who are 15, 10 and 8. They are only little once.

    I'm glad some people do hire "cleaning ladies", if they didn't I'd be out of a job.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

    If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.

    My daycare provider is NOT taking over my role as a parent.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
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    So this is not some kind of vegetarian "ham" substitute?

    You win! :drinker:
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
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    I agree with the people saying how in the world is SAHM a "career goal"??. Even if you stay at home with your kids from the moment you get pregnant until the moment they go to college, that's less than 20 years. Last time I checked, from age 16-65+ (typical American working ages) is at least 49 years. So what are you gonna do for those other THIRTY YEARS?
    A lot people I know don't have the same job or career their entire lives. I've been a day care provider, a graphic designer, a high school teacher, so far. So, it's no different...when that phase of their lives is over...they do something else.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    I had to Google SAHM :blushing:
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
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    So, derailing the other OPs thread asking for advice just wasn't enough for you, huh?
    Shesh...



    159455643027517538xm7v1ykdc.jpg

    Am I the only one who uses these threads as a measure of who to add to my FL and who to leave off?
  • jkowula
    jkowula Posts: 447
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    I wish we were in a position for my wife to be a SAHM. I think it is best for the kids period. That's what is important, not our career goals, not my personal aspirations, not my dreams. That all went out the window when I made the decision to have kids. It is now all about guiding them to be happy, respectful, intelligent parts of society.
  • doughnutwretch
    doughnutwretch Posts: 498 Member
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    I love my wife, whatever she chooses to do. The end.*








    *well, not totally. I want someone home with the kids, but I'm okay if that person is me. Actually, I'd be thrilled if it were me. :bigsmile: I believe very strongly in having that immediate and constantly available influence during the early years if it is financially feasible.
    It's a great feeling. I get to take my DD to school and pick her up and do homework with her and play and hang out. I think a father/daughter connection is important because from my understanding females tend to gravitate towards men who usually have some of the same traits/behaviors as their fathers.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    My daughter is the same way, very attached to me, and I am COMPLETELY jealous of you. I'm taking her out to dinner and dancing this weekend (she's nine). She looks forward to this event more than Christmas, and I'm not kidding at all.


    edit: Just to add it in, my wife and I felt very strongly that she finish her nursing degree before my career started. So we worked an extra two years wife her going part time and me working night shifts so that one of us could always be home with our first child. I delayed going to work in my field until she was done. No way I wanted her to not have a degree and a possibility to make a stable and desirable income if something were to happen down the road to me (making it not possible to work) or to our marriage (making it harder for our kids, in addition to the hardships that women face in divorce...it's part of being a decent human being who has full buy in to the relationship).

    You win as a dad. And husband.
  • Ledgehanger
    Ledgehanger Posts: 125 Member
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    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.
    So... you want them to be able to freely choose whatever career they want to have - as long as they choose what you would choose?

    Got it.

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