Men, how do you feel about SAHM?

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  • jennifer3998
    jennifer3998 Posts: 144 Member
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    I said I think staying home with my kids is easy, I didn't say I was lazy! I already responded emphatically to the judgmental poster. I'm not sure what was wrong with what I said. My kids are extremely low maintenance, well-behaved, and help immensely around the house (my 8 and 10 yo children clean their own bathroom even).

    I run a peaceful home. For me and the kind of kids I have, I don't think it's difficult. It doesn't mean I think it's easy for everyone. And it has nothing to do with promoting laziness!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    I said I think staying home with my kids is easy, I didn't say I was lazy! I already responded emphatically to the judgmental poster. I'm not sure what was wrong with what I said. My kids are extremely low maintenance, well-behaved, and help immensely around the house (my 8 and 10 yo children clean their own bathroom even).

    I run a peaceful home. For me and the kind of kids I have, I don't think it's difficult. It doesn't mean I think it's easy for everyone. And it has nothing to do with promoting laziness!

    Omg this times a million. I run a tight ship and my kids know what to do and when to do it.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    I said I think staying home with my kids is easy, I didn't say I was lazy! I already responded emphatically to the judgemental poster. I'm not sure what was wrong with what I said. My kids are extremely low maintenance, well-behaved, and help immensely around the house (my 8 and 10 yo children clean their own bathroom even).

    I run a peaceful home. For me and the kind of kids I have, I don't think it's difficult. It doesn't mean I think it's easy for everyone. And it has nothing to do with promoting laziness!
    You said you agreed with op, so just thought I would check, as didn't know if you had read other thread :) for what it's worth i don't think it's as hard as some women make out either, especially those that still expect their partners to do heaps when they get home! Talking about the average family I mean, not ones with special needs or like 10 kids or anything LOL I can imagine that would be harder
  • TruckersWifeTruckersLife
    TruckersWifeTruckersLife Posts: 408 Member
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    actually I am a SAHM because I am here for my children need me
  • nikkylyn
    nikkylyn Posts: 325 Member
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    Some women want to be sahm, some want to work, some work from home as long as husband and wife are happy I say go for whatever it is you want to do. I will never understand why complete strangers care so much what other families are doing. If it works for them then its awesome.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    I'm not going to say that being a SAHM is hard work, and I'm not going to say that it is easy. What it is is easier on my spouse who doesn't have to help out around the house or cook half the meals or do yard work because it is done when he gets home from work. It is easier on my kids who never have to worry about hunting me down if they get sick in school. I will be there in a matter of minutes. It is easier on my 3 year old who gets to have a constant parental presence and me to teach her. Do I feel like I wasted my degrees? Not really because I'm more than qualified to teach my kids, and I can still toy with my intellectual pursuits in my spare time. It also helps that I'm intelligent and educated enough to carry on adult conversations with professionals when I am in a social setting. I'm well-rounded like that.

    What I don't care about in the slightest is what some judgmental single person with nothing particularly special to offer to the world thinks about me.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    wow.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.


    The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



    ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

    I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

    No, you don't get it, because you seem to think your values and view of the world are the only correct ones. You seem to think that because someone is a SAHM or SAHD that their only goal in life was to do that, or that it's only ok in certain approved circumstances. Success is not always measured in salaries and titles.

    I'm a SAHM to two kids. I'm also the spouse of an active duty military member who has been gone for the majority of our 10 years of marriage. Having me SAH is the right choice for our family right now, but that doesn't mean I'm going to SAH forever. I have both an undergraduate degree and a master's degree. My oldest daughter wants to be a scientist when she grows up. I'm sure she'll be great at it. And if she decides to have kids and wants to stay at home with them for a few years, I'm sure she'll be great at that, too.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    LOL All I know is that I absolutely hate everyone in the world who doesn't make the same life decisions I do. Where do you *kitten* get off making decisions about things that make you happy that don't negatively affect others? I fully believe that there should be a guide that instructs all of us on the proper way to think, feel, and desire. It should be written by me. And you should read it, because if you don't, *facepalm* ZOMG! Clearly you won't get it. Why do I bother?
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    If that is what makes her happy, more power to her, but it should not be expected nor deterred.
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
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    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.


    The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



    ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

    I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

    This doesn't seem a difficult task to accomplish.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
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    "I wish I would have spent more time at work" -- No one ever

    The most important thing in our lives are our relationship. No relationship is more critical than that of parent and child.

    Potty training sucked, but first words, first steps, first pony ride, first dive of the diving board, etc etc: why would anyone trade any one of those for a temporary "career"?
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.


    The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



    ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

    I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

    This doesn't seem a difficult task to accomplish.

    23683-Ashton-Kutcher-burn-gif-95QB.gif
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
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    LOL All I know is that I absolutely hate everyone in the world who doesn't make the same life decisions I do. Where do you *kitten* get off making decisions about things that make you happy that don't negatively affect others? I fully believe that there should be a guide that instructs all of us on the proper way to think, feel, and desire. It should be written by me. And you should read it, because if you don't, *facepalm* ZOMG! Clearly you won't get it. Why do I bother?

    Please to send me a copy of your book. I want to make sure I'm not living wrong.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    LOL All I know is that I absolutely hate everyone in the world who doesn't make the same life decisions I do. Where do you *kitten* get off making decisions about things that make you happy that don't negatively affect others? I fully believe that there should be a guide that instructs all of us on the proper way to think, feel, and desire. It should be written by me. And you should read it, because if you don't, *facepalm* ZOMG! Clearly you won't get it. Why do I bother?

    ^ This. All of this. The bitter on here would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
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    OP, I see in your profile that you work in the "mental health sector". I don't know where you live but I have been involved on a professional level with the "mental health sector" in Texas and the pay is not very high. You are fortunate to live in a state where that is such a financially lucrative field.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    OP, I see in your profile that you work in the "mental health sector". I don't know where you live but I have been involved on a professional level with the "mental health sector" in Texas and the pay is not very high. You are fortunate to live in a state where that is such a financially lucrative field.

    It's also good to see that mental health professionals are more understanding and open minded, and less judgmental than they were 30 years ago . . .
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    LOL All I know is that I absolutely hate everyone in the world who doesn't make the same life decisions I do. Where do you *kitten* get off making decisions about things that make you happy that don't negatively affect others? I fully believe that there should be a guide that instructs all of us on the proper way to think, feel, and desire. It should be written by me. And you should read it, because if you don't, *facepalm* ZOMG! Clearly you won't get it. Why do I bother?

    OMG that book would make it SO much easier!! but I should be the one to write it.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    I'm just going to leave this here:

    http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/116/A-Husband-s-Amazing-Response-To-She-s-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom-What-Does-She-DO-All-Day-
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.
    Then don't have kids. The world doesn't need more stage moms.

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