Men, how do you feel about SAHM?

TruckersWifeTruckersLife

I am a SAHM and I also work but I work between school hours and I work twice a week sometimes more if I am needed

gunshowgreg

I'm not opposed to the idea of sahm if income isn't an issue or if it is and staying home with the kids would be cheaper. However I'm not opposed to a woman that doesn't want to stay at home. If she has ambitions and desires outside of the home she should be Abel to do those things. I have ambitions and desires and I have every intent to live them out. Why shouldn't moms?

bearkisses

I am a SAHM and I also work but I work between school hours and I work twice a week sometimes more if I am needed

so you are not a SAHM....

bearkisses

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

gunshowgreg

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.





ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

Success is what ever you want it to be and what ever makes you happy

mister_universe

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

The only thing you don't seem to get is that there are people out there with different values than your own. Being a mom is admirable, more admirable to many than being an accountant or a nurse or whatever. They want to succeed at being a mom like you want to succeed in your chosen field. it's not so hard to grasp.

I know many moms who chose to be a mom first, but also pick up a couple of shifts as a nurse around their moon duties. They verbally chose mom first, but also are at times "just" staying at home.

gunshowgreg

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

The only thing you don't seem to get is that there are people out there with different values than your own. Being a mom is admirable, more admirable to many than being an accountant or a nurse or whatever. They want to succeed at being a mom like you want to succeed in your chosen field. it's not so hard to grasp.

I know many moms who chose to be a mom first, but also pick up a couple of shifts as a nurse around their moon duties. They verbally chose mom first, but also are at times "just" staying at home.

Personally I find a stay at home mom to be one of the hardest job in the world. And I don't consider that light responsibility. And to be a stay at home mom for a spouse that's a member of the armed forces is extremely tough. Hardest job in the army as they say I find it to be true. Tip my hat to stay at home moms.

MyLovesMyLife

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

The only thing you don't seem to get is that there are people out there with different values than your own. Being a mom is admirable, more admirable to many than being an accountant or a nurse or whatever. They want to succeed at being a mom like you want to succeed in your chosen field. it's not so hard to grasp.

I know many moms who chose to be a mom first, but also pick up a couple of shifts as a nurse around their moon duties. They verbally chose mom first, but also are at times "just" staying at home.

Personally I find a stay at home mom to be one of the hardest job in the world. And I don't consider that light responsibility. And to be a stay at home mom for a spouse that's a member of the armed forces is extremely tough. Hardest job in the army as they say I find it to be true. Tip my hat to stay at home moms.

indeed

jennifer3998

Clearly you just want an argument. And it is clear that you are extremely judgmental. I borrowed (and just finished paying back) almost $100,000 for my education, and I am *just* a SAHM. For eight years I owned my own business and worked out of our home, but when we moved to Singapore I turned the business over to a relative and do nothing but care for my children and home. And I am perfectly happy and content. Which contributes to a very happy family!

Next week I am the lucky lady who gets to help out in my 3rd grader's class, attend two daytime choral concerts an awards assembly and two basketball games, all things I would likely miss if I worked a "regular" job. I get to be the first person every day to hear about how great their days are, and occasionally get to be the first one to console them if they had a bad day.

I'm here to help with homework before the nighttime post-dinner rush. I get to experiment with cooking whenever I want, without throwing something together or in a crockpot while trying to unwind from a busy day at the office (just made a great Thai chicken curry the other night!).

My children are at the top of their classes. One wants to be a video game designer, the other a scientist. But if they wanted to be ME, I'd be pretty happy knowing that - because I have a pretty fabulous life and wouldn't change a thing.

There is nothing wrong with working or staying at home. No need to insult either one here.

ninerbuff

My daughter is the same way, very attached to me, and I am COMPLETELY jealous of you. I'm taking her out to dinner and dancing this weekend (she's nine). She looks forward to this event more than Christmas, and I'm not kidding at all.

Mine's the same age. Lol, a couple of weeks ago she asked me "Dad, did you know that Justin Beiber got arrested?" I said yes, but then she hit me with "I also heard from girls in school that he had SEX with Selena Gomez.":sick: :indifferent: :embarassed: It's about time to have the "talk".

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

My wife is a SAHM, more than happy for her to do it. It bolis down to for me, that as long as she is happy and is appreciated by both the kid and me. No issues on the ohter hand if she wanted to go back to work full time, the same applies.

Happy wife, Happy life - great rule to live by

This is so odd. So I do just about everything in the household (cooking, cleaning, bills, homework, etc.) and have never complained, ranted or ever felt unappreciated. Don't need kudos or acknowledgment either. I don't need to go out on the weekends or have a day off from "chores" since I don't feel stressed out by them.
On the other hand my best friend is ALWAYS telling me how his wife (who's an SAHM) is the complete opposite.

Is it really that men and women are wired that differently?

But I will agree with the the Happy Wife comment. That's why I conform 90% of the time!:laugh:

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

randomtai

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

Clearly.

ninerbuff

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

I never thought that I'd give up my full time job (a well paid manager) to become a SAHD. Now I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's not about money or giving up a life, it's about ensuring the life you gave to your child is one that is fulfilling to them. Ask any kid if they like their parents being really involved in their lives and the only ones who won't give a **** are usually the ones who's parents aren't involved.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MizMiami305

There is nothing wrong with working or staying at home. No need to insult either one here.

Whats up with the SAHM bashing around here! Its a good life!!!:drinker:
All day i hear how much ppl hate working, their boss , their coworkers!! No thanks! :huh:

WoodChuckNorris

Eh, I am sure it is rough in the beginning, but once the children are of school age, then I can't see how it is hard. You have 8-9 hours to do whatever you please

obsidianwings

Only just spotted this thread, you actually hate us enough to make a whole new thread? Lmao

If it helps whenever I've spoken of going to work my partner has not been keen at all.

randomtai

Only just spotted this thread, you actually hate us enough to make a whole new thread? Lmao

If it helps whenever I've spoken of going to work my partner has not been keen at all.

Hahaha checkmate

jennifer3998

Honestly, a lot of SAHM's might not like me saying this, but I agree with you. I think it's a pretty easy job. No complaining coming from here. But my husband wouldn't want me to go to work if I wanted to (of course he would support it!).

obsidianwings

Honestly, a lot of SAHM's might not like me saying this, but I agree with you. I think it's a pretty easy job. No complaining coming from here. But my husband wouldn't want me to go to work if I wanted to (of course he would support it!).

so you agree you are teaching your children to be lazy by staying home? Not sure if you read the other thread but this is what OP thinks lol

steph6467

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

The thing that irritated me the most when I chose to stay home with my kids was the people saying "but it's such a waste … you're so smart (etc) that you could be <fill in the blank here>" I am successful just as I am. I don't need a career to make me successful (but I have several somethings to fall back on, if the need arises). And I would never discourage a child from having SAHP as a career goal … but again would remind them to have several options.



ETA: It's ironic, OP, that you bemoaned "I forgot I was asking on an internet forum" but you're the only one really trying to stir the pot.

I honestly just don't get it. Clearly I am alone. And that's ok. More power to you guys I guess. But I really don't get it. I especially don't get you saying 'SAHM as a career goal', that sentence makes zero sense to me. Because then saying 'a mom who has a career' would no longer make sense. It messes with my brain. lol.

Am I correct in assuming you don't have a child? It is difficult to explain to a non-mom how becoming a mom can sometimes change your world view and often, your plans. Some women have a child, choose to continue with their career, and everything goes exactly how they thought. That's great!

Some women *planned* to continue to have a career after giving birth, but are surprised by new feelings that come with having a kid and can't bear the thought of missing 10 hours a day of their new baby's life.

Other women find that the career they planned to go back to isn't feasible given their new circumstances (cost of childcare, having a child with special needs, weird work schedule that makes arranging childcare difficult, too much travel, etc)

Still others can't find affordable/safe/reliable/nearby/convenient/flexible/fill-in-the-blank childcare. This is a huge problem in America.

Still others plan to stay home for a few years while the kids are young but plan to re-enter the workforce later.

I don't think you could box up a tidy explanation, there are probably a million reasons someone might choose to be a SAHM, and just because you don't understand or it wouldn't work for you doesn't make other women's reasons nonsensical or absurd.

I had degree and a good career in the medical field when I started my family. Five days a week, I'd wake up my beautiful little red-headed baby boy at 6:30 in the morning to drop him off at daycare. Every morning he'd cry when I woke him out of his bed, he was so cozy and fast asleep. It broke my heart. Every morning. In the year he was in daycare, he never got comfortable enough to nap more then in short bursts, so by the time I'd pick him up at 5, he'd be so exhausted, he'd fall asleep in the car on the way home. We'd wake him to feed him dinner, and then he'd immediately fall back asleep for the entire night. So essentially, five days a week, I'd make him cry in the morning by waking him up before dawn, and then I'd have the pleasure of watching him drowsily eat his dinner before he'd pass out for the night. That added up to about an hour a day of "quality time" during the work week. Oh, and did I mention the perpetual daycare cold? I don't think his nose stopped running for two years straight.

This is not why I had a baby, so I could see him for one or two hours 5 days a week and "enjoy" him on the weekends. And then I got pregnant again. I *sure* wasn't doing this to two babies. My "career" wasn't worth it. My kids came first, career second. If that makes me a sellout, so be it.

That red-headed baby boy is 15 now and has 3 siblings. I haven't had a paying job in 13 years. If a kid is sick, no last minute scrambles for the parent who misses work. If a kid is getting an award at school or has a mid-day performance or needs a parent chaperone for a field trip, I don't have to tell my kid "I'll ask my boss" if I can be there. We don't have to make childcare arrangements for summers or school holidays or sick kids or dentist appointments .. or anything. When we're figuring out family vacations, we don't have to finagle two work schedules. It really makes the logistics of parenthood so.much.easier.

And all that aside, I LOVE not having a j.o.b. I make my own schedule, I do what I want to do and don't answer to anyone. I go to the gym at 11 a.m. which is awesome. I have a killer garden in the summer, I have a number of hobbies and skills that I can delve deeply into, I have the time to cook almost all of our meals (good healthy food.. woot!), and I can organize everyone's schedules so that our family chaos level is at a minimum. I do a lot of the detail work like the taxes and the meal planning and the appointment making so that evenings and weekends when we're all together, we can do fun stuff.

It's not for everyone and if the description of my lifestyle doesn't appeal to you, don't be a SAHM. Isn't it cool that you and I have choices? I lived the career mom life for two years, and it *sucked* for me. Hated every minute of it and my kid didn't like it much either. As for my husband, he likes that he can provide the money, and I can provide the framework. He hates scheduling, cooking, making appointments, blah blah blah. He also likes not having to worry about his kids' care . ever. There is a lot of peace knowing that your kids are being taken care of by the only other human being on earth that loves them as much as you do.