Men, how do you feel about SAHM?
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Eh, I am sure it is rough in the beginning, but once the children are of school age, then I can't see how it is hard. You have 8-9 hours to do whatever you please
When your raising an autistic child, it can get rough all the time, especially when they are non-verbal. I don't know how many times I attempted to stick my head in the toilet. Throw in a non-verbal child who is 6 years old and still in diapers and you have a shift that never ends...
this is different, no two situations are alike. But for the most part of the general populous kids age 4+ go to school.
I lol'd my way through the new posts that called it a career choice.0 -
You're so right. With all the problems in the world this is the one that gets me worked up. Can I facepalm you?i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.
right after you remember this the next time you complain about anything in your first world life without making mention of Sudan0 -
Well said! Sorry I am so terrible at uploading anything. Hope you get your cat gif!I have been a SAHM for 12 years now.. but Have always worked from home doing various business ventures. I will add I have five kids and having a job outside the house would be impossible with childcare costs etc. I CHOOSE to have five kids.. and i believe in making that choice it would have not made sense for me to CHOOSE to have a job outside the home. If i wanted to have a job outside the home i would have CHOSEN to have less children.
I don't think people can compare each others situation and determine which is harder. Everybodys situations are different and by that I mean, relationship status, Children (characteristics) , family situations (grandparents etc around to help), finances etc.
I find these arguments and question so stupid. its like the moms who compare there kids etc.. who bloody well cares when your child was reading, or how many sports, or when they lost there teeth.. point is, we are all different, we all strive to do whats best for us and our families and everyones BEST is different. Thats what makes the world an exciting place. I think the real issue in parenting and motherhood etc is the relationships we have with our family as a whole.
Am i saying I love being a stay at home mom.. no, not always, sometimes yes. I feel lost in it, i feel lost in my kids, I feel that sometimes my value is determined by my children and thats a WHOLE other issue. Threads like this are really stupid.. and they are started by people who don't have a clue and perhaps think that we all function the same way. WE DON'T!!!
NOW I NEED A CAT GIF TO MAKE ME LAUGH AGAIN.. ANYONE ANYONE?
I don't think OP started the thread because she cares about the topic. It's seems an outlet for overflowing hate. Kinda scary.0 -
Eh, I am sure it is rough in the beginning, but once the children are of school age, then I can't see how it is hard. You have 8-9 hours to do whatever you please
When your raising an autistic child, it can get rough all the time, especially when they are non-verbal. I don't know how many times I attempted to stick my head in the toilet. Throw in a non-verbal child who is 6 years old and still in diapers and you have a shift that never ends...
this is different, no two situations are alike. But for the most part of the general populous kids age 4+ go to school.
I lol'd my way through the new posts that called it a career choice.
Actually, it varies state to state. The last state I lived in only offered public Pre-K (children age 4) to children who needed extra help to meet the standards for kindergarten. Anyone else wanting a pre-K program had to pay for it, unless you financially met the standards for the More at Four program. People are also enrolling their children at a later age and starting Kindergarten closer to age 6 because the curricula have changed so much over the years that many Kindergarten programs are no longer play-based programs and the children have simply not matured to the point where they can focus at the level needed to absorb the material.
But let's not let pesky things like facts and details get in the way of making sweeping generalizations.0 -
Did someone ask for a cat gif??
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look at this stay at home cat, hard at work!
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I'm a SAHM of a toddler with special needs. It's unimaginably hard. And besides, my husband is an engineer, so I feel blessed that I do not need to work. My husband prefers a clean house & dinner on the table vs the chump change that I'd bring in.
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Eh, I am sure it is rough in the beginning, but once the children are of school age, then I can't see how it is hard. You have 8-9 hours to do whatever you please
When your raising an autistic child, it can get rough all the time, especially when they are non-verbal. I don't know how many times I attempted to stick my head in the toilet. Throw in a non-verbal child who is 6 years old and still in diapers and you have a shift that never ends...
^^this. My daughter would require a special needs individual. She couldn't even get into a special needs daycare 30 miles away because she's not up to date on her vaccinations. I just cannot pay a nanny $25/hr. Special needs children is definitely a different circumstance.0 -
and this is my last reply to this stupid thread: everyone 'defending' SAHM while saying bs that puts down the idea of preschools, nannys, babysitters, strangers watching babies, and moms that work that *kitten* off 8 hours a day after getting the kids ready, driving them to their daycare, and then picking them up on the way home, making dinner, doing laundry, bathing, cleaning, helping with learning and developmental issues, taking them to activities, etc....all the while having to spend a huge proportion of your salary on childcare. Well, I would say that that is judgmental because those moms work their *kitten* off. Those moms have been my family members that want the best for their kids, coworkers that have to leave early to pick their children up because their is a sick kid at the daycare. If you want to defend your lifestyle do it without bringing other people down because working moms work their *kitten* off. SAHMs aren't the end all be all of hard work. What a joke. Prehistory women were having and rearing children, they didn't throw a ****ing awards ceremony for it.
And again, though some of you have either a learning disability, can't read, or have a visual impairment, kudos to you for making it work and achieving a ton of other goals if you are a SAHM.
What about children with special needs? To say a stay at home mom of a child with autism or cerebral palsy is easy is an insult.0 -
and this is my last reply to this stupid thread: everyone 'defending' SAHM while saying bs that puts down the idea of preschools, nannys, babysitters, strangers watching babies, and moms that work that *kitten* off 8 hours a day after getting the kids ready, driving them to their daycare, and then picking them up on the way home, making dinner, doing laundry, bathing, cleaning, helping with learning and developmental issues, taking them to activities, etc....all the while having to spend a huge proportion of your salary on childcare. Well, I would say that that is judgmental because those moms work their *kitten* off. Those moms have been my family members that want the best for their kids, coworkers that have to leave early to pick their children up because their is a sick kid at the daycare. If you want to defend your lifestyle do it without bringing other people down because working moms work their *kitten* off. SAHMs aren't the end all be all of hard work. What a joke. Prehistory women were having and rearing children, they didn't throw a ****ing awards ceremony for it.
And again, though some of you have either a learning disability, can't read, or have a visual impairment, kudos to you for making it work and achieving a ton of other goals if you are a SAHM.
What about children with special needs? To say a stay at home mom of a child with autism or cerebral palsy is easy is an insult.
i don't think it is black and white, i think it takes very special people to raise children with developmental issues, esp. autism0 -
I am soooooo happy now!!!!Did someone ask for a cat gif??0 -
THAT'S better, OP:happy:look at this stay at home cat, hard at work!0 -
I think it's a great thing and needed if the family can afford to do it.0
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i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.
I am so baffled by this statement that I'm not even sure how to respond to it.
What...what would be the opposite of the right reasons. What would be the 'Wrong' reasons for wanting to spend time raising your children?
What planet are you from and do they reproduce sexually and have family units?0 -
My Beautiful wife will be having our first soon. We sat down and had a conversation about child care before she was even pregnant. (Two adults making plans?! Total old school and a shocker, I know!!!) She will be a SAHM and I will be working 13 hr days to cover it. Guess what? She also has a boat load of life insurance on her, because if she passes, I will need to hire Mary Freaking Poppins to cover for her.
She and I want our child to go to daycare for 2-3 hours a day at some point before preschool so that they learn how to play well with others. We had another "Old School" conversation and know that the daycare time is coming. My Beautiful Wife will likely start our next business from home when the child is young. I will take care of the child for a few hours each day after work and before I go to sleep, so that she can go and do things that she wants or needs.
Having been raised by parents who both worked 12-15 hr days and a lot of OT to cover bills. I am quite fortunate to not be permanently incarcerated right now. They were there for me when possible and love me unconditionally, but it is better to have parental guidance when you are young.0 -
I am a college educated and certified Behavioral Therapist for children with Autism and I made the choice to stay home with my kids while they are young. When my youngest starts prek I will return to work. I have my whole life to form a career but my children will be young once. These are the years they are learning their values and self esteem. I want to be the one teaching that to them. Not all SAHMs are lazy or bimbos.0
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My Beautiful wife will be having our first soon. We sat down and had a conversation about child care before she was even pregnant. (Two adults making plans?! Total old school and a shocker, I know!!!) She will be a SAHM and I will be working 13 hr days to cover it. Guess what? She also has a boat load of life insurance on her, because if she passes, I will need to hire Mary Freaking Poppins to cover for her.
She and I want our child to go to daycare for 2-3 hours a day at some point before preschool so that they learn how to play well with others. We had another "Old School" conversation and know that the daycare time is coming. My Beautiful Wife will likely start our next business from home when the child is young. I will take care of the child for a few hours each day after work and before I go to sleep, so that she can go and do things that she wants or needs.
Having been raised by parents who both worked 12-15 hr days and a lot of OT to cover bills. I am quite fortunate to not be permanently incarcerated right now. They were there for me when possible and love me unconditionally, but it is better to have parental guidance when you are young.
I know it's a bit premature, but for future reference, mom and baby/tot classes are awesome for socialization. Things like kinder music, children's museums, etc. if she is lucky they will have awesome moms there too for her to socialize as well. But of course beware of the mommy "one uppers".
A good daycare is awesome too, but I'm only giving suggestions until then. Being a SAHM is surprisingly isolating.0 -
SAHM? Is that the blue collar equivalent of a trophy wife?0
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I was waiting for this to escalate into political mud-slinging......Some people really hate the poor these days, eh?
<On paper, I'm poor. Our family of 3 falls in the limited income range to qualify for HUD owned houses for sale. We work hard, but our situation gets better and better each year. You know what is an insult to the poor? Those who have the 'poor me attitude". Those are the people who take a minimum wage job and complain that they don't have the life of someone with a $70k annual salary. You get what you work for! THere are too many 'poor' people with a sense of entitlement, aka, the fast food workers who want $15 an hour wages. Then there are my parents, who are on paper considered "rich" but only because my dad has worked his *kitten* off to have nice things, including working 2-3 jobs at a time and being smart with their money. Thankfully, he taught me a great sense of self worth. I would prefer to work hard and struggle than take a hand out. I take care of my yard, home and my belongings. I want to work hard for nice things too, but it blows when you have people who choose not to work hard fight to take your hard work from you.
I'm going to go ahead and put a disclaimer for anyone who assumes otherwise, but this obviously doesn't include people who are disabled or down due to an extreme circumstance.0 -
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/116/A-Husband-s-Amazing-Response-To-She-s-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom-What-Does-She-DO-All-Day-
THIS is my opinion, if you don't like it, oh friggin well. I am a SAHM of three kids and I have a college degree, what I choose to do as my "career" is my business. This whole damn post was just trying to stir people up and it worked.
That's an awesome article! Favorite paragraph:
"Yes, my wife is JUST a mother. JUST. She JUST brings forth life into the universe, and she JUST shapes and molds and raises those lives. She JUST manages, directs and maintains the workings of the household, while caring for children who JUST rely on her for everything. She JUST teaches our twins how to be human beings, and, as they grow, she will JUST train them in all things, from morals, to manners, to the ABC's, to hygiene, etc. She is JUST my spiritual foundation and the rock on which our family is built. She is JUST everything to everyone. And society would JUST fall apart at the seams if she, and her fellow moms, failed in any of the tasks I outlined"0 -
I work my *kitten* off every single day at work. But I'm sorry, I think stay at home parents have a job that is tough and not something I could do! Truthfully, I think they work harder.0
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My final contribution... If you really want to know the most popular thoughts on something, check google.
Go to google.com and type in "stay at home moms are" and see the suggested (most popular) sentence completions that are offered.0 -
<On paper, I'm poor. Our family of 3 falls in the limited income range to qualify for HUD owned houses for sale. We work hard, but our situation gets better and better each year. You know what is an insult to the poor? Those who have the 'poor me attitude". Those are the people who take a minimum wage job and complain that they don't have the life of someone with a $70k annual salary. You get what you work for! THere are too many 'poor' people with a sense of entitlement, aka, the fast food workers who want $15 an hour wages. Then there are my parents, who are on paper considered "rich" but only because my dad has worked his *kitten* off to have nice things, including working 2-3 jobs at a time and being smart with their money. Thankfully, he taught me a great sense of self worth. I would prefer to work hard and struggle than take a hand out. I take care of my yard, home and my belongings. I want to work hard for nice things too, but it blows when you have people who choose not to work hard fight to take your hard work from you.
I'm going to go ahead and put a disclaimer for anyone who assumes otherwise, but this obviously doesn't include people who are disabled or down due to an extreme circumstance.
In TX our fast food jobs start at $15 back in 2011... those people don't have an entitlement issue, they have a location issue.
http://tomy101.hubpages.com/hub/Need-a-Job-in-2011-Midland-Texas0 -
I work my *kitten* off every single day at work. But I'm sorry, I think stay at home parents have a job that is tough and not something I could do! Truthfully, I think they work harder.
Agreed.0 -
To each their own, but to be honest it bothers me when welfare mom's do it. I'm not against welfare but seriously, get a job.0
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"when the public contributes to said assistance, then yes, it is.
you honestly think youre entitled to stay home and collect because childcare is expensive?
i would feel a tremendous amount of guilt if i did that"
Cannot speak for USA - but in Australia child care is subsidized - So households with a working parent and a SAHP who do not utilize day care are, through taxes, subsidizing the choice of any working parent whose children go into day care.
Many people. of course, have also worked many years and paid taxes themselves before taking time out of the work force to be a SAHP - so I guess they were subsidizing their future self.
Its not a one way street.
I find these threads quite sad - many people who are a SAHP can respect the choices of working parents and vice versa - and of course many people, like me, have in fact been both - ie a SAHM for a period of years and then returned to the workforce later.
Usually people who choose to be a SAHP are not choosing to be one forever.
What makes me sad is the judgemental 'Everyone should do it my way' posts - there have been some from both sides of the fence.
Everyone is different and everyone's circumstances are different and life isn't a competition about whose life is the hardest.
Everyone can make their own choices about what works best for their household.0 -
i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.
^This! I'm a nuclear engineer gone SAHM to take care of my disabled son. When new people I meet find out I have a degree in mech. engineering and physics I always get the eye rolls, of "why did you bother going to college?" but those were my goals!0 -
priorities change.
as long as it is financially feasible, I think that stay at home parents are a great idea, so long as they are willing and happy0 -
Shouldn't we just do whatever is best for our individual families?
Working full-time and then coming home to cook and clean is great if that is best for your family, but if it leaves you feeling depressed, stressed, and ready to kick the bucket, how is that the most admirable choice?
We only get one life. Do whatever is best for you and yours. For us, that means my husband works while I stay home blowing raspberries on baby bellies and sweeping the floor intermittently.0
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