Men, how do you feel about SAHM?

Options
1…78101213…17

Replies

  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Options
    As always, I like to stir the pot, so.....

    Parents elect to place their kids in the care of others while they work. With most people who work, when you get to work your car sits outside unused for 8 hours (again I said MOST PEOPLE, not everyone so don't go there)

    So here's the question... .would you let someone use your car while you're at work? The answer for most would be "no". But we'll let others use (raise) our kids.

    We're ok with that picture?

    face-plant-o.gif

    If you're going to stir the pot, you need a better analogy.

    One that doesn't make you feel as guilty?

    No, but one that makes more sense would do nicely, thanks.

    Right?!

    I will this was the worse "stir the pot" attempt of all time.
  • MrsG31
    MrsG31 Posts: 364 Member
    Options
    LOL All I know is that I absolutely hate everyone in the world who doesn't make the same life decisions I do. Where do you *kitten* get off making decisions about things that make you happy that don't negatively affect others? I fully believe that there should be a guide that instructs all of us on the proper way to think, feel, and desire. It should be written by me. And you should read it, because if you don't, *facepalm* ZOMG! Clearly you won't get it. Why do I bother?

    Geesh, I know right? How rude!
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    Options
    As always, I like to stir the pot, so.....

    Parents elect to place their kids in the care of others while they work. With most people who work, when you get to work your car sits outside unused for 8 hours (again I said MOST PEOPLE, not everyone so don't go there)

    So here's the question... .would you let someone use your car while you're at work? The answer for most would be "no". But we'll let others use (raise) our kids.

    We're ok with that picture?

    Awful, awful comparison.

    Your car doesn't need to be watched while you're away. Most that could happen is someone steals it or something happens to it. It's an object that can be replaced - your kids cannot.

    No further argument needed.

    No argument needed but someone needs to buy you a clue :laugh:

    your comparison was laughable
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Options
    As always, I like to stir the pot, so.....

    Parents elect to place their kids in the care of others while they work. With most people who work, when you get to work your car sits outside unused for 8 hours (again I said MOST PEOPLE, not everyone so don't go there)

    So here's the question... .would you let someone use your car while you're at work? The answer for most would be "no". But we'll let others use (raise) our kids.

    We're ok with that picture?

    Hardly comparable.

    I agree. Cars are much more valuable than our kids.

    :laugh:

    Okay, I'll play, even though it's a terrible comparison.

    My kids are in better care with a state certified daycare than some person driving my car. I take my child to day care because he can't sit in the garage all day long like my car can while I'm at work. If my car couldn't take care of itself while I was away, you'd be damned sure I'd place it under proper care with a driver that was certified to handle it properly. :grumble:
  • ZombieSlayer
    ZombieSlayer Posts: 369 Member
    Options
    First, get stay at home MOM out of your head. Being a stay at home PARENT is not easy. It would certainly be a valid career choice if we paid the person what they are worth. Instead, they get paid with the reward of not paying someone else to raise their child for over half of their waking hours.

    As a future career choice, not a great option simply because our society doesn't deem raising your own children as valid. They'd rather subsidize sending them to daycare than pay the parent directly.

    I'd rather see my tax money going to pay [a] parent(s) to raise their own kids, but that could just be me.

    *Note* My husband is the one with a degree, two actually. I'm the one who brings home the paycheck. We both work full time.
  • phuckingbadasscutie
    phuckingbadasscutie Posts: 1,619 Member
    Options
    This is an interesting forum to read. I have experience as both a working parent and a stay at home parent, as does my husband. I think that if you find a great licensed daycare that has the values as you then daycare can be very beneficial. My two older kids went to daycare and they loved it as did my husband and I, it was hard to leave after the 5 years they went there. Now, due to a lay off for me, I am a stay at home mom for my younger two kids. I do enjoy it but I never saw myself as a stay at home mom so it was a change. I would love for the younger two to go to daycare because I think it had positive results for my older two, however four kids in daycare during the summer months in unrealistic.
  • dabucks
    dabucks Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    This is an interesting forum to read. I have experience as both a working parent and a stay at home parent, as does my husband. I think that if you find a great licensed daycare that has the values as you then daycare can be very beneficial. My two older kids went to daycare and they loved it as did my husband and I, it was hard to leave after the 5 years they went there. Now, due to a lay off for me, I am a stay at home mom for my younger two kids. I do enjoy it but I never saw myself as a stay at home mom so it was a change. I would love for the younger two to go to daycare because I think it had positive results for my older two, however four kids in daycare during the summer months in unrealistic.

    I totally agree that daycare has many benefits. My son who went to day care learned many things about playing well with other kids, being in a classroom setting, learning how to wait in line, etc. Now kids can learn these things with a SAH Parent, but it's much easier for them to learn in a classroom setting. I too would like my daughter, who hasn't seen day care yet, to go daycare at least a couple days a week (to at least preschool) before she hits kindergarten.

    When she hits full time school (1st grade) I'll likely be working - at least part time - and I'll be looking forward to adult interaction again, lol. That being said, I'd never trade my experience with my children, I'm thankful to have the opportunity.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Options
    i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

    I can't stomach someone who demeans and devalues others, because her ideals are different then others. As a SAHM, I actually spend an enormous amount of time trying to teach my daughter and my son, to not behave that way. Why? Well, I actually care about the sort of adults my children will turn out to be. Which is why I decided to be their most consistent role model, when I opted to stay home to raise them.

    But, that's just me.

    I think I :heart: U!
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    Options
    I think its ok for a women to be a sSAHM but for a male to be a SAHD... that's too beta for me............ go work.

    I think that any guy who resorts to calling others 'betas' based on some stupid male hierarchy that really doesn't exist is pretty silly.
  • dabucks
    dabucks Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    I think its ok for a women to be a sSAHM but for a male to be a SAHD... that's too beta for me............ go work.

    Life must be really black and white for you, lmao. I guess I should have told my wife to get barefoot and in the kitchen while I worked more hours for about the same amount of pay (now it would be far less because she is awesome).

    Maybe you equate Alpha to being a misogynistic *kitten*, I don't know. To me I consider caring for my kids when the circumstances called for it as being "responsible".
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Options
    wow, i thought this thread would die way faster. As I read through the all the comments I thought:

    1) wow, you are all literally dissing me while even quoting a post i made stating 'i just don't get it' and 'the more power to you'. I don't need to apologize for not 'getting it', it was honestly eye opening for me because I literally had no idea how many people think it is awesome to be a sahm.
    2) I can have an opinion about people's goals and work in the mental health sector. I don't judge people for the systemic issues/choices/whatever. I do however, and am allowed, to judge behavioural traits. Am I judging people? No. So, **** y'all?
    3) Everyone that keeps saying 'being a stay at home mom is a career' and that it is the 'hardest job in the world' made me lol because really, a harder job than that would be being a mom AND working. Just choosing to be a SAHM feels like a crazy goal to me...but I already said that. Everyone that is going on and on about all their accomplishments while staying at home...I already said 'more power to you', so point redundant
    4) I'm allowed to have an opinion too, I'm not kicking and screaming that everyone doesn't agree with me, I already knew they didn't because people set up goals to grow up, have kids, and then raise them....goal accomplished. Weird. Yes, I continue to think it is weird. So sue me. Being a SAHM and doing other things then that is great. Life isn't static. Goals shouldn't be (IN MY OPINION!!!! If you guys will allow me that?). Nothing is concrete and conclusive.
    5) I don't need to have kids to have an opinion.
  • dabucks
    dabucks Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    I personally wasn't dissing you, but as to your point #5 you can have an opinion- it just isn't as educated as to those who have kids. You can't possibly know what it's like to walk in our shoes and judge us without actually knowing the true challenges of raising kids. Is it he hardest job in the world, nope. Is it challenging (for me harder than other jobs I personally have had - which weren't cake-walks) absolutely. I wouldn't have thought that was the case before raising my kids, but then I became "educated" about it.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Options
    I personally wasn't dissing you, but as to your point #5 you can have an opinion- it just isn't as educated as to those who have kids. You can't possibly know what it's like to walk in our shoes and judge us without actually knowing the true challenges of raising kids. Is it he hardest job in the world, nope. Is it challenging (for me harder than other jobs I personally have had - which weren't cake-walks) absolutely. I wouldn't have thought that was the case before raising my kids, but then I became "educated" about it.

    i was talking to everyone. Apparently if you have a different opinion than everyone you think that the world needs to agree with you (as said by almost everyone...cause yea I go to bed thinking I know EVERYTHING and that EVERYONE thinks the exact same thoughts as me at every second of the day, what is difference?)...which is like a lot of pots calling this kettle black.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,302 Member
    Options
    It has its place in the bedroom sure, but I believe that a safe word should be established and used. Also, no asphyxiation play.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Options
    It has its place in the bedroom sure, but I believe that a safe word should be established and used. Also, no asphyxiation play.

    bdsm is much more fun than sahm'ng

    p.s. that is a joke, so suck it sahm's who are so angry with me
  • Andy_83
    Andy_83 Posts: 270
    Options
    Granted I haven't read the other posts (very lazy I apologise, it's 2am and I'm about to crash), so sorry if this is echo-ing an earlier point but what does it matter what blokes think as a populous. Surely just down to what is best for the kids.

    Unless you're doing it to smoke pot or commit credit fraud then I'm probably against it.
  • phuckingbadasscutie
    phuckingbadasscutie Posts: 1,619 Member
    Options
    It has its place in the bedroom sure, but I believe that a safe word should be established and used. Also, no asphyxiation play.

    bdsm is much more fun than sahm'ng

    p.s. that is a joke, so suck it sahm's who are so angry with me

    Bahahaha! I bet some SAHM's like this :)
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    Options
    My thing is this...by the time I was three I was in preschool all day. Before that, I have hardly any solid memories to speak of. So, in my memory it makes no difference whether my mom stayed at home or not because I wouldn't remember that part either way. What would she have done all day while I was in school? I saw both of my parents every evening and weekend, so I'm wondering how exactly it is that anyone can claim they "outsourced" my upbringing more so than a SAHM/SAHD because they worked.


    And I can't help but notice that no one gives fathers half as much crap for having goals outside of raising their kids.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Options
    My thing is this...by the time I was three I was in preschool all day. Before that, I have hardly any solid memories to speak of. So, in my memory it makes no difference whether my mom stayed at home or not because I wouldn't remember that part either way. What would she have done all day while I was in school? I saw both of my parents every evening and weekend, so I'm wondering how exactly it is that anyone can claim they "outsourced" my upbringing more so than a SAHM/SAHD because they worked.


    And I can't help but notice that no one gives fathers half as much crap for having goals outside of raising their kids.

    i have never heard a man say 'i want to grow up and raise my own children forever'
  • Stinkerbelle84
    Stinkerbelle84 Posts: 328
    Options
    My thing is this...by the time I was three I was in preschool all day. Before that, I have hardly any solid memories to speak of. So, in my memory it makes no difference whether my mom stayed at home or not because I wouldn't remember that part either way. What would she have done all day while I was in school? I saw both of my parents every evening and weekend, so I'm wondering how exactly it is that anyone can claim they "outsourced" my upbringing more so than a SAHM/SAHD because they worked.


    And I can't help but notice that no one gives fathers half as much crap for having goals outside of raising their kids.

    i have never heard a man say 'i want to grow up and raise my own children forever'

    No, but I have heard my husband say on many occasions that he wishes he could have been there for more of our kid's stuff. He works 7/7 now, and absolutely cherishes his week home with his son.

Categories