The meanest thing just happened :-(

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  • tffcx
    tffcx Posts: 20 Member
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    I just said *um. I don't intend on losing 20 pounds* and he goes *well, that's my recommendation. I think you should rethink your goals.* I literally went into the lockerroom and cried :-(. Just wanted to share it. Too embarrassed to rant to anyone I know so thanks for reading.

    You should have said "well, I recommend you get a personality transplant. I think you should rethink your goals."

    But anyway honey, you look great enough for you and your loved ones, and a hell of a lot hotter than you used to be. The world is filled with douches with over-inflated egos who think they are in a position to "recommend" that Angelina Jolie lose some armpit flab.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    Currently, i weigh 136 at 5'6. Which is 8-11 pounds lighter than my outdated pics on here (most of them I was around 144, one I was at 147) so I know im not big and blah but I'm so desperate to get to 125. I was just at the gym when this guy who is usually there when I am comes up to me for the first time and says *it's so nice to see you here so often! Once you lose 20 pounds, Youre going to look amazing.* I just said *um. I don't intend on losing 20 pounds* and he goes *well, that's my recommendation. I think you should rethink your goals.* I literally went into the lockerroom and cried :-(. Just wanted to share it. Too embarrassed to rant to anyone I know so thanks for reading.

    You are really pretty so I don't know what that guy was talking about. Let me know if you need me to take a drive up to the northern part of the state to kick that guy's butt. :noway:
  • Nouurann
    Nouurann Posts: 183 Member
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    Currently, i weigh 136 at 5'6. Which is 8-11 pounds lighter than my outdated pics on here (most of them I was around 144, one I was at 147) so I know im not big and blah but I'm so desperate to get to 125. I was just at the gym when this guy who is usually there when I am comes up to me for the first time and says *it's so nice to see you here so often! Once you lose 20 pounds, Youre going to look amazing.* I just said *um. I don't intend on losing 20 pounds* and he goes *well, that's my recommendation. I think you should rethink your goals.* I literally went into the lockerroom and cried :-(. Just wanted to share it. Too embarrassed to rant to anyone I know so thanks for reading.

    Was he close to your age and single?

    If so, sounds like a (poor) attempt at a pickup line...

    There are actually guys out there who tell other guys that they should tease a girl as their opening line the first time they meet them. They're also told that the better the shape the girl is in, the harder she can be teased about her body. They believe that women who are in shape have such high self confidence that it's impossible to insult them. But in reality, it often comes off as mean. Many of these teasing lines are nothing more than insults in reality.

    Don't take it personally. Just stay away from guys like that...don't give them a fighting chance; they'll eventually learn. (Or if not, they'll attract a nice, self-absobed b%#@& with low self confidence who is probably a good match for them.) ;-)

    ETA: The freaks come out at night. Not a great time to have to be in the gym.

    I know!! My gym is 24/7, once the clock hits 11 it all goes down hill D:
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
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    He actually did you a favor in helping you pinpoint a vulnuability you now could work to eliminate...that is: allowing insensitive comments to have power over how you feel about yourself. If you start learning to deal with this now, you'll save much grief in later life by not letting others control and manipulate your emotions using mere words.

    I'm telling you this since it's something I wished I learned 40 years ago.

    Know in your heart that you are OK just the way you are and no one can make you feel 'less than' without your permission.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
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    Currently, i weigh 136 at 5'6. Which is 8-11 pounds lighter than my outdated pics on here (most of them I was around 144, one I was at 147) so I know im not big and blah but I'm so desperate to get to 125. I was just at the gym when this guy who is usually there when I am comes up to me for the first time and says *it's so nice to see you here so often! Once you lose 20 pounds, Youre going to look amazing.* I just said *um. I don't intend on losing 20 pounds* and he goes *well, that's my recommendation. I think you should rethink your goals.* I literally went into the lockerroom and cried :-(. Just wanted to share it. Too embarrassed to rant to anyone I know so thanks for reading.

    Was he close to your age and single?

    If so, sounds like a (poor) attempt at a pickup line...

    There are actually guys out there who tell other guys that they should tease a girl as their opening line the first time they meet them. They're also told that the better the shape the girl is in, the harder she can be teased about her body. They believe that women who are in shape have such high self confidence that it's impossible to insult them. But in reality, it often comes off as mean. Many of these teasing lines are nothing more than insults in reality.

    Don't take it personally. Just stay away from guys like that...don't give them a fighting chance; they'll eventually learn. (Or if not, they'll attract a nice, self-absobed b%#@& with low self confidence who is probably a good match for them.) ;-)

    ETA: The freaks come out at night. Not a great time to have to be in the gym.

    I know!! My gym is 24/7, once the clock hits 11 it all goes down hill D:

    Freaks will be freaks. Wannabees will be wannabees.
    Don't sweat it. Get some sleep.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    Did this really happen? I find that "you should rethink your goals line" very hard to believe.

    You know, next time I see him, I'll be sure to ask him to repeat his statements once more, this time on camera, for your verification. Sound good? :huh:

    I'm not sure why you're getting mad because i find it hard to believe people can be this ****ty.
  • ezloshead
    ezloshead Posts: 167 Member
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    Who is he to say you're not beautiful now? Is he blind? I'm 5'6" and my lowest weight was 145 in high school and it's my goal weight now. Because of the way I'm shaped a had a falt-ish tummy (I plan on having a more muscular tummy this time) and pin-up curves. Everyone's body is different and only you can know the weight your body needs to be. It's not up to some shallow douche in the gym to decide it's between you and your doctor and no one else gets an opinion.
  • David_AUS
    David_AUS Posts: 298 Member
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    Seriously that guy has some kind of issues with himself - some jerks need to make themselves feel better at the expense of others. Whether you want to lose or gain lbs is your decision - on your terms - in your time. For what it is worth to me you look healthy, active and happy. I almost don't want to send this as it just echos his words one more time - time wasted giving more power to the impact of his actions and words. Nouurann remind yourself just how great life is and how amazing your are!
  • EvenThatNameIsTaken
    EvenThatNameIsTaken Posts: 164 Member
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    Perhaps he's following the d-bag rules of dating? You know, compliment a girl in a way that is an insult also so that she is off balance and vulnerable...then move in for the kill. I actually have know guys who do this....and it sadly does work pretty well for them.

    Yep, this. Watch out!
  • kiittenforever
    kiittenforever Posts: 479 Member
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    Keep calm and carry on..

    Some men are misogynist losers. I'd avoid and ignore this person from now on.
  • jennahbooboo
    jennahbooboo Posts: 44
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    What a a** thinking that his opinion/recommendation matters. Personally, I think you look great already and you're gonna look even better when you're happy with yourself, regardless of weight.
  • iwantniceabs
    iwantniceabs Posts: 357 Member
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    Was it Barney Stinson? he sounds like he's just trying to put you down so you'll have low self-esteem and need approval from men and want to date him. Punch him in the face instead.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    people who think their opinion on someone elses body matters are gross

    even more gross when its a man
  • PhreePanda
    PhreePanda Posts: 22 Member
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    Some gym rats are just like that. I've seen rail thin ladies been called fat in some gym standards. One of which had a 4% body fat. Not that its cool... At all. Like, seriously. Im glad to have use of a school gym where d bags don't go gather after some of the stories I read here tonight.
    Screw em, your beautiful. You have something he will never find in a gym. Which is class.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    If you see him again, tell him he'll look good once he trains up his baby calf muscles.
  • SouthernMommy11
    SouthernMommy11 Posts: 74
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    People always have ugly things to say. Ignore him!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Really?

    As in, did that actually happen?
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
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    Was it Barney Stinson? he sounds like he's just trying to put you down so you'll have low self-esteem and need approval from men and want to date him. Punch him in the face instead.

    Totally beat me to it.

    To reiterate:

    That guy sounds like he is trying to manipulate you by trashing your self esteem so that you'll be working to gain his approval. It's a psychological tactic some terrible people use to control others.


    Steer clear of people like that.

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  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    he is a mega douche magnifico girl! He blows!!!
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Some gym rats are just like that. I've seen rail thin ladies been called fat in some gym standards. One of which had a 4% body fat. Not that its cool... At all. Like, seriously. Im glad to have use of a school gym where d bags don't go gather after some of the stories I read here tonight.
    Screw em, your beautiful. You have something he will never find in a gym. Which is class.

    4% body fat? On a woman?

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