MY BREATHING IS AFFECTING MY WEIGHT

DamePiglet

I think we need to start racially profiling air.
Look at Eskimos... They breathe really cold air and THEY'RE really healthy!

McKenzieLeigh

I have been using O'hare Air! You can get your very own for $295.97 per bottle. It is so pure and so refreshing and I swear it doesn't make my stomach bigger when I breathe it! You have to order it right now, I can give you the website for me to make a million dollars off of all you poor breathers!

redheaddee

Well than stop it, damm!t. Friggin' oxygen addict. Might be time to detox.

BillRicks1

Hi, my name is Bill.

(audience) Hi Bill!

I’m a breather.

(audience) GASP!

It all started when I was a child. Just a few short breaths now and then but got worse during my teenage years. I’d find myself breathing just about every night! I felt so ashamed and didn’t want anyone else to know so I just hid in my bedroom and breathed. Sometimes twice! (gasp) The first time I breathed with a girl it was like a drug and all I wanted to do was breathe all the time! During high school and college I would sneak around and breathe with women whenever I got the chance. Believe me, there are a LOT of female breathers in college! Then I joined the service and all bets were off! Being stationed in SE Asia you have access to all sorts of breathers. Long story short, I have finally settled down, got married, had kids and am able to control my desire to breathe. Now I can say that I breathe only twice a month or so and on special occasions like my birthday.

TX_Rhon

The question you should ask yourself is: are you breathing more on your period? Maybe that's the issue.

ETA: Hi Bill. The first step is admitting the problem :flowerforyou:

DamePiglet

Bump. Just because.

FTF2014

Don't stand next to cars because gasoline vapors are 10 calories per breath. If you are a car owner I feel sorry for you because your breathing in 200-300 calories a day.

neandermagnon

You know, I drink water. I was starting to wonder if that was why I'm fat.

Probably, yes.

He is wrong.....! Breathing when drinking water, or if submerged in water is difficult, which means people breathe less. Less breathing = slimmer stomach . You just have to make the effort and stick to it and this group is here to help you......:o).
Nobody said it would be easy and some days are worse than others, but hang in there, you will be fine.
Good Luck !

breathing while submerged in water is very dangerous. people have died doing this. Just say NO


also, breathing air causes oxygen to go into your lungs, and oxygen is a highly volatile, explosive gas that corrodes metal and goes around oxydising things. it's best to avoid oxygen altogether. If you have to breathe, then just breathe pure nitrogen. It doesn't react with anything in your body, it just goes out again the way it came in.

NatiaGonitellie

OK now this is what will really work.

Starting NOW!!!! Exhale all of your breath.

Then when and ONLY when I tell you,

1 and 2 and 3 and 4 Inha........................... hold on a moment someone is calling.

BRB

Arranna1212

Wear a corset. Problem gone.. You can't breath and your stomach looks smaller! EVERYONE IS A WINNER!

mcibty

I forgot how funny this was.

wizzybeth

Thanks for bumping it up. This was fun.

Delilahhhhhh

I think I have hit a breathing plateau__________________________________________

Cindy4FunFit

I can't believe how any of you people can be supportive of this unhealthy lifestyle. And even make further suggestions on how OP can continue to limit her breathing. Do you know the nutritional value of air?! I don't. But my brother in law's friend's sister is a nutritionist and she says leaving this out is probably the worst thing you can do for your diet. I came to this site for support. I can see all you care about is vanity. I mean that OP? Those arms? You don't get arms like that by breathing air!

And if this were a troll, which it is clearly not. I would consider this, like, a comedy gold pyramid.

mcibty

Thanks for all your support guys. I took everything into consideration, and it's been a year now and I've successfully cut down my breathing! I'm thrilled!

barry1992

All that I need is the air that I breathe and as walking on sunshine didnt help weight loss Im not sure holding your breath will. Unless you die from overdosing on not breathing !!
Then weight loss can be rapid but your complexion suffers and you can get quite stiff....very unpleasant.
However , holding someone elses breathing in can be relaxing especially if they are prone to playing loud music at 2 in the morning or sleeping with your girlfriend. Hope that helps

mcibty

I didn't think suffication mode was real?

debrakgoogins

I just discovered this post and have laughed all morning. My coworkers think I'm disturbed. I may be, based on research, the amount of breathing I do has most likely affected my brain.

barry1992

Laughing while breathing is also very unhealthy , especially if you have just farted in a spacesuit. This is to be outlawed soon I believe.

mcibty

I hadn't even considered farting! Maybe I can use farts to balance out my breathing habit? IE: If I fart more then my breathing allowance will increase?

snowflake954

This post is the greatest--thanks for bringing it up again! There used to be such fun before the new format. It'a also nice to see members that were classics on here for a long time---memories................

barry1992

Your breathing allowance automatically increases with each break out of windiness. This is because your stomach acts as a non return valve thus preventing any expelled gases from re-entering the large intestine. In turn this leaves ample room for more un-noticed breathing activity.

Joannah700

After reading this, I'm not sure how this conflicts with intermittent farting practices. Maybe I should just give it all up and breathe when I fart, wait a second... maybe not.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/695972/intermittent-farting/p1

mefitforlife9

and I thought I was going to get some pointers on how to breath. geeeez, guess I'll just have to keep non-breathing... can anyone point me to a thread on how to breath.. it sounds like it might be a fun thing to do!

trina1049

I suggest adding some oxygen to your morning smoothie. It will keep you satisfied all morning and you won't have to breathe until lunch.

leonelr04

Breathing is overrated. I don't do it anymore.

barry1992

Breathing in a vacumn is a good choice. This is because it is ultimately futile and thus very stressful which burns calories quickly. After trying for several hours to master this "not breathing in a vacumn" thing its best to die for a while before trying it again. Repeated attempts not to die will also be ultimately futile. Best of luck

palwithme

Well, breathing is the NUMBER 1 secret to weight loss apparently...if you do it right. I must be breathing the wrong way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6VopIOc21k

barry1992

I cannot access this video so my anxiety has increased causing multiple breathing activities. This in turn has increased my metabolic rate and I am now panic eating. Soon , due to unexpected breathing rates I will be obese. This is your fault and I am now angry , further increasing non standard breathing episodes. I am growing by the minute..........................POP !!! Now see what you did

r0ck1

Try breathing water. Our body is mostly liquid. This way it will just be absorbed in and you won't look like your stomach is bloated. I would also use gills instead of the mouth or nose to take in maximum oxygen . . .